ollijack
Active Member
- Joined
- May 8, 2012
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Attributing the look of the house to 'someone suffering depression' as being responsible for that tends to blame the victim IMO.
Is there an assumption that the victim was responsible for the look of the entire house?
If so, this is unempathetic and disrespectful to a mother with three dependent children at primary school and all the demands she had to juggle, without the emotional support of her husband, and in a marriage which added 'enormous distress' to the normal stresses of raising a young family. The two main building blocks of family i.e. the marital relationship and family finances were sources of distress.
This rental house was 'home' to those people who lived there. It was not a display home.
The video allows us to peer into other people's private domain. Without training as to what to look for, or what perspective to take, we interpret what we see subjectively, filtered through our own expectations, standards, values, class and culture, etc.
We need to remember these photos were allegedly taken 4 days after Allison disappeared. Other people had been in that house helping the girls get ready for school, etc.
Inside the home: did you notice the nurturing in the girls area? the pretty girly colours in the soft furnishings, the times tables chart on the wall? (education) the bookshelf filled with books? (education), the dolls houses (age appropriate play), the soft toys in the bed? (symbols of attachment & love) the desk & chairs? (education & personal development) clothes hung up and organised in the wardrobe? (not all over the floor), etc.
Did you notice the house had a defined living areas showing basic order? i.e. lounge area, dining area, bedroom areas, kitchen area, outdoor area, etc.
The kitchen was not full of unwashed dishes and food scraps covering the benches. It was clean & organised. There was ironing in the baskets (not thrown around). The fridge door was full of fun family notes held on with magnets; recipes were ordered into a box on top of fridge. Floors were clean, bathroom mirrors, shower door and tiles were shiny, as Alioop commented. Did you notice the tablecloth? the flowers? the pictures/paintings on the wall? (love & care to make a home);
Did you notice the organisation inside the wardrobes? Things were folded and placed in there, not just thrown in. Shoes were organised into boxes at the bottom, not just thrown in there. The office area seemed crowded, but organised with many containers, filing cabinets, etc.
The parental bedroom 'space' possibly reflected the state of the marital relationship IMO. Not clearly defined, it was a multi-purpose, cluttered space. Whilst functional, it reflected two people who lived together, but neither invested in making the personal bedroom space special.
The family may have outgrown this 'space' and needed a bigger house.
The outside of the home appeared neglected somewhat. Maybe they should have employed a gardener to support this being mowed. Then again, with the in-laws just 5 mins away, why didn't they offer to mow the lawns to support the family?
Allison was multi-tasking at a fairly high level IMO. She was busy with the daily routine of raising three primary school aged children, with all their needs and social activities. One needs to be organised to achieve these tasks. She also contributed to school tuckshop and stall duties. She taught ballet classes, worked at Pathways, engaged in real estate training and worked at the BC real estate office as well. She managed her personal care, maintained friendships and family relationships and community connections. She did not have the emotional support of her husband; it appears they did not work together as a 'team', but possibly had different values and expectations. Most people suffering anxiety & depression would not have the capacity to achieve all these things.
This is fair comment and my honest opinion.
:loveyou:
thankyou Fuskier, that was absolutely beautiful xxxxx