hindsight2020
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Did anyone listen to Gracie Calhoun speak?
This is the face of domestic violence that people struggle not just to understand, but to even believe when they see it. I said it in a previous post...it's not just some drunk guy staggering around <modsnip>, taking potshots at his <modsnip> wife for having burnt the meatloaf.
It's your neighbor, smiling at you from the mailbox. Somebody you work with. The woman in a track suit jogging with her baby, the guy who goes to work in a suit. DV isn't black eyes and drunken potshots. It's the process of methodically dismantling another human being by whatever means are available. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sexual, financial, physical...even courts can be used to abuse. (To wit, the BC case where NC ended up on trial. That is exactly what an abuser does - turns it all back around on their target, and a court can certainly facilitate that process.)
There is an overwhelming wall facing people who are victims of DV, and that is the disbelief of others.
The signs whoosh over the heads of so many at lightening speed. But they're there. We (and by we I mean a substantial chunk of the WS community) could see it clearly in both the BC and JY cases, but there are bezillions of people out there who can't see it. Can't take a person's word for it because it doesn't fit the stereotype. Pshaw it because there's no black eye or broken nose. Believe the abuser, because he or she is so very good at what they do - hey, they roped their victim in, right? Their victims actually loved them at some point.
NC tried to leave. MY would have tried it had she had the chance. People see this in retrospect, possibly, but does someone really have to be dead before its apparent? We need to have some kind of societal zero tolerance attitude, as we do for child abuse, on this sort of thing. We need to do a better job of teaching our kids what constitutes abuse. You can't always see it, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. And it will escalate until it IS visible.
For the folks watching this trial who can't see the DV in any of this outside of a severe beating, there is all sorts of info out there you can read. Red flags, patterns of behavior, the power wheel. The subtleties are myriad. The perpetrators are wily.
I'm so pleased about this verdict, but lord have mercy, the cases just keep coming. I hope people pay attention to this one. I hope at some point courts and juries send a clear message that they're wise to the tricks of the likes of BC and JY and will make them pay for having the audacity to think they can get away with it. We have to be savvier than they are. I think the courts are catching up (i.e. recognizing that courts can actually be a tool of an abuser). Everybody else needs to catch up too.
I wouldn't speak publicly either if I were on a jury in a big case. There are enough disgruntled people out there and some downright possibly crazy people. While I would stand tall with whatever my verdict was, it is not the public's business, and my safety would have to come before anyone's curiosity.
Of course as a spectator I'd love to know a jury's thoughts, but in their place I'd want my privacy and anonymity maintained. Maybe in time they will feel comfortable letting some info known.
I completely understand your side of the argument (and citygirl posted something similar). I don't think they should be forced to come forward and list their reasons, but I wish they would take it upon themselves to do so. My thoughts would be the same for either verdict. Perhaps its just my experience as an attorney, but putting countless hours into a case, and then having a decision made by someone else, and not knowing *why*, can drive you bananas.
ETA: To be clear, as I have stated countless times, I am not wanting to take the right of silence away from anyone, not even the jury, but I wish they would be willing to state why they made their decision. I am not asking they be forced, or have to sit down and "explain themselves" like they have done something wrong, but I do wish that at least one would step forward and say "this is why we voted the way we did."
Anybody know if Gracie was on Vinnie's show? I didn't see her on there but I might have missed it.
Poor Vinnie just lost his dad. He did a short segment at the end of his show. He cried and I'm sure many of us cried with him. It was so sad. :cry:
Poor Vinnie just lost his dad. He did a short segment at the end of his show. He cried and I'm sure many of us cried with him. It was so sad. :cry:
eta--- no Gracie wasn't there today.
I caught that, too. Really touching, wasn't it?
Yep, they were present for the whole ball of wax.
I'm local to the case and I was a "NG person".
I've been following it since they found Michelle's body, and the really sad thing is that Jason has being blamed since that first newscast.
I partially blame the defense because they didn't try to get the trial out of Wake County. The people here are notorious rubber stampers on perceived domestic murder cases, no matter what the evidence.
I guess at this point I feel like he will lose appeal, since I think the only 2 things he has to push are the instruction that they could consider an accomplice, and the addition to Murder 2 on the verdict sheet when the prosecution case clearly implied Murder 1 and Murder 1 only. The jury could not have, by law, voted him guilty of Murder 2, because if they believed the theory, it was premeditated. Murder 2 was added as a safety net because they thought it may serve as a good safety net in case there needed to be a compromise between a potentially hung jury.
I really hate this state, and I am glad I left Wake County a few years back. It's scary.
Also, to all who think he's guilty - Are any of you concerned that the case is closed when it's obvious that 2 people were involved (whether Jason was one of them is irrelevant) - someone got away with murder.
Amazing they got to hear the judge lay into JY a little.
I'm such a coward. I read on WS the verdict had been reached and immediately went for a run, because my stomach was in knots and I didn't want to hear the verdict yet. It's crazy how these cases can affect us. I eventually got back on to see the good news: JUSTICE.
Sad situation all the way around though.
Also, to all who think he's guilty - Are any of you concerned that the case is closed when it's obvious that 2 people were involved (whether Jason was one of them is irrelevant) - someone got away with murder.
May god bless you for this lovely post also!! It sure did bring tears to my eyes!!
This is the face of domestic violence that people struggle not just to understand, but to even believe when they see it. I said it in a previous post...it's not just some drunk guy staggering around <modsnip>, taking potshots at his <modsnip> wife for having burnt the meatloaf.
It's your neighbor, smiling at you from the mailbox. Somebody you work with. The woman in a track suit jogging with her baby, the guy who goes to work in a suit. DV isn't black eyes and drunken potshots. It's the process of methodically dismantling another human being by whatever means are available. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sexual, financial, physical...even courts can be used to abuse. (To wit, the BC case where NC ended up on trial. That is exactly what an abuser does - turns it all back around on their target, and a court can certainly facilitate that process.)
There is an overwhelming wall facing people who are victims of DV, and that is the disbelief of others.
The signs whoosh over the heads of so many at lightening speed. But they're there. We (and by we I mean a substantial chunk of the WS community) could see it clearly in both the BC and JY cases, but there are bezillions of people out there who can't see it. Can't take a person's word for it because it doesn't fit the stereotype. Pshaw it because there's no black eye or broken nose. Believe the abuser, because he or she is so very good at what they do - hey, they roped their victim in, right? Their victims actually loved them at some point.
NC tried to leave. MY would have tried it had she had the chance. People see this in retrospect, possibly, but does someone really have to be dead before its apparent? We need to have some kind of societal zero tolerance attitude, as we do for child abuse, on this sort of thing. We need to do a better job of teaching our kids what constitutes abuse. You can't always see it, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. And it will escalate until it IS visible.
For the folks watching this trial who can't see the DV in any of this outside of a severe beating, there is all sorts of info out there you can read. Red flags, patterns of behavior, the power wheel. The subtleties are myriad. The perpetrators are wily.
I'm so pleased about this verdict, but lord have mercy, the cases just keep coming. I hope people pay attention to this one. I hope at some point courts and juries send a clear message that they're wise to the tricks of the likes of BC and JY and will make them pay for having the audacity to think they can get away with it. We have to be savvier than they are. I think the courts are catching up (i.e. recognizing that courts can actually be a tool of an abuser). Everybody else needs to catch up too.