Huckaby told friends she was raped by a cop

[gitana1]

You know, this whole subject is really freaking me out right now. I am going to have to take a break pretty soon here. What happened to Sandra as well as the serious evil and imbalance of a person like MH is giving me a bit of a panicky feeling and I'm usually good at viewing these cases clinically.

 

[gitana1]

She convinced 3 people she was raped by the cop. Interesting how she has been practicing being a victim for 10 years. This should tell us quite a bit about her personality.

It sure does!

She seems the type to me to make false allegations seeking attention and sympathy.

Just like she said someone stole the very suitcase that belonged to her and put Sandra's body in it.

Just like she said that the death of Sandra was an "accident".

And now just like she said that the cop raped her 10 years ago and the investigation proved it was false.

Well if she craves attention she darn sure will get it this time but it will not gain her in sympathy. She seems to be a chronic liar who spins tales.

I don't find her mentally ill. I do find her wretched, dangerous and disgusting.

imo

My response to what I bolded: You sure got that right. She really went about her desrie for attention in a diabolical, revolting manner this time. I'm sickened. She is a pig. I'm sorry and now I'm off to mass. Maybe it will make me feel a bit less angry. But I don't know. I'll light a candle from all of us from all of us for our newest little angel.: cry:

 

[snapdragon]

Well, snap, you have sure had your share of troubles; and I think you're right, many of us have. I'm so glad you seem to be in a better place now.

I agree and disagree with you.

I was/am very upset with all the children who are hurt in this world. I will never forget Sandra skipping - EVER! What a joyful child! I'm extremely upset with what happened to her, and to tell you the truth, I am sick to death of all the sexual predators out there. That, and all the parents who should not be parents. How can anyone hurt a child?

Where we differ is that I do feel empathy for any of these people. I once read someone - and I can't remember who it was - say that none of these people started their lives wanting to become murderers, pedophiles, etc. Somewhere, somehow, something went wrong.

Is it some sort of imbalance? Could be, and if so, it bothers me to think that someone may have been born that way. Were they raised with terrible people? Again, it could be, and that is a terrible situation, too. The thing is, something happened to this human being, too. Something went terribly wrong and was never addressed. I do not feel I have the right to judge this person. They will be judged...in the courts and by God.

I guess I just don't think things are so black and white. There are so many variables and we have no clue. Even if she is anti-social diagnosed, that is still something that came to be/or something missing and how can you not have empathy for that?

You don't have to like the person or the act, but to hold onto that much anger is not good. Forgiveness is one of the biggest things we must deal with and it is NOT for the other person...it is to let go of the negativity we hold on to.

I think in cases such as this we should pray for everyone. Do I realize that not everyone can do this? Yes. I do. But, I think that is what we strive for. This is what I truly believe God and every other enlightened prophet has spoken about throughout the ages. Forgiveness is what we must get to.

Tori,

Thanks for your post. Am I angry with MH, especially since I live in Tracy? Yes. Do I have empathy for those tortured souls that were maltreated as children? Of course. We have no evidence that MH had any trauma as a child. Normal, but hard events, are not what I consider to be unusual trauma. I do not think I have had an out of the ordinary course of bad luck in my own life, many have had much worse. I have had many precious gifts as well and live a very comfortable life now... life is a journey full of trials and tribulations. I was just citing that we ALL have our negatives, but they do not drive the normal person to kill a child.

You speak of forgiveness. I believe forgiveness is a sense of accepting and moving on. It does not free the responsible party from anything, nor does it mean we have to forget. It is a letting go so one can go on with their lives in a positive manner.

The friend I mentioned, who's daughter was murdered, is the perfect example. She struggled with the why, where how. Perp wasn't talking, not taking the stand, etc. He got 15-life because they didn't allow a prior conviction as a 17.5y/o to be allowed. He had drug an ex girlfriend by the hair through a parking lot in a moving vehicle. She was in hospital for months and has scars. She is deathly afraid of him still today, yet will be at the upcoming parole hearing. She is my hero.

Anyway, my friend submerged herself into the church to deal with all of this. She also believes in forgiveness. She wrote her daughter's killer, who had supposedly found religion and wanted forgiveness. She struggled with this immensely based on what her faith said. She wanted to know what had happened, was haunted by it. He finally gave his version of events in a chilling letter. As parole hearings got closer, the letters from the murderer were more demanding.. saying if you forgive me, you have to petition for my release. Let me tell you... if you have wronged someone and ask for forgiveness or want to make amends, you do NOT require anything of that person you wronged. The letters were making her distraught until I pointed out to her that she was allowing him to abuse her as he did her daughter- that forgiveness wasn't about taking a specific action, it was about letting go so this could stop haunting her. Although she prays for his soul, she does NOT want another family to go through what she went through. She petitions actively against abusive relationships and talks to high schools about recognizing such behaviour. She is a very strong woman and I admire her.

Perhaps you are right that one should have compassion for MH. I just don't right now. I choose to have compassion with Sandra, the little innocent who just was playing, trusting that this was a safe, happy world. Guess she had a very rude wake-up call.

 

[smart blonde]

I am not surprised at all that a woman who would kidnap a neighbor child,
torture/rape that child in a church,
then murder the child,
and hide that child's body in a filthy-watered irrigation 'pond',
and lie to the media and very public who were desperately searching for that precious child,
even make up and lie about finding a note in front of that child's house,
would lie about being a victim of the authorities herself a decade before.

In my opinion, she is nothing short of evil.

I am still shocked at who Sandra's murderer turned out to be.

 

[snapdragon]

Yep. Our anger at someone else has no effect on that person. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." --Buddha

Pefectly said, ! The quote is wonderful too.

I should like to mention that forgiveness is but a step in the process of acceptance and healing. It typically does not arrive at once, at the time of the event. Some of us are still working through this whole thing.

 

[snapdragon]

I am in no way telling you when or if to forgive. You are living a nightmare there. I guess I just don't want MH to have any more power over anyone. I want us all to be able to remember that little girl and have something good come out of it. I'm really thankful for all the new members we have here at WS.

I'm really glad you're here and thanks for talking this out with me!:blowkiss:
Tori

Tori, I bolded the above sentence... I agree completely, except, if she is indeed guilty, which I believe she is, based on our limited evidence, she needs to be convicted and locked up for life before we can get to the point of her to "not have any more power over anyone". If she is released, or gets off on some technicality, she can, indeed, have power over some... little, innocent ones. Let's convict her first if it is appropriate, serve justice, THEN we'll talk about forgiveness. It's a process... remember?

 

[Nonni Brenda]

Please understand that I don't think MH should be "pampered" either. I think she should be punished to the full extent of the law. I just think that she still has some humanity. I distinguish her from the likes of Casey Anthony who shows absolutely no remorse or human emotion. I don't think anything in MH's past, or the state of her mental health, should soften her sentence, but I do hope that she finds some spiritual peace while she spends her life paying for her crimes--that she is released from some of what has tormented her while she comes to terms with the horror she has cast.

You may be right about her having humanity. Maybe she just wasn't in touch with it when she was raping Sandra with a foriegn object. If I had pity right now, it would be directed for the Cantu family. MOO. I feel so bad for them.

 

[txsvicki]

Melissa is a coward. I won't say the vulgar word that I'd normally call someone, male or female, who whines and makes themselves out to be a victim instead of getting some strength to survive. She seems to blame everyone and everything for her own weakness. There's no excuse for killing a child and no reason for anyone other than her church members and family to forgive her. My understanding from all the Bible quoters out in the public who carry on about forgiveness, is that Christians are to always forgive a brother or sister who repents and asks and to pray for their enemies. If someone keeps on doing wrong they put them out and turn them over to whatever. Melissa is turned over to the legal system where she'll stay thank goodness.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

I personally believe that it comes down to choices. No one had a perfect childhood. The things we go through, either you learn to deal with it and go on or you use it as an excuse. There are things that profoundly effect our lives. People struggle every day with these affects. Most don't use them for excuses to rape and kill. Forgiveness is a good thing but I believe that we can only truly forgive with God's help and when it's right for us. It's an individual choice to forgive. Everyone gets to that place at a different time, if ever. Sometimes the pain is just too great. I believe God understands. I hope.

I do believe that true forgiveness can come if it is someone that you know or have known personally and they are wanting your forgiveness to also make their lives whole again.

But it is hard to forgive someone when there is no rhyme or reason for what they have done. Melissa Huckaby wouldn't ever have my forgiveness if she had raped and murdered my precious sweet innocent child. There is no way that I can twist my mind to believe that her actions are understandable where I could invoke forgiveness to her. I find her reprehensible and imo she has done the unforgivable.

I am a firm believer, as a survivor of both childhood and adult marital abuse, that life is all about choices once a person becomes of age. Millions of children unfortunately are sexually abused in this country. Most of them don't go onto being heinous rapists and murderers of innocent little children. It is a choice and each one makes their own..... to either go forward toward the light or dwell in the shadows of the dark side.

To forgive ...... one has to understand the "why", imo. I do not understand why this happened and I never will.

imo

 

[Nonni Brenda]

Just want to point something out that I have noticed with what I have seen of MH. The crying in court did make many wonder if she was abused herself, was remorseful, etc. We really don't know. But when I think about her behaviour in the day or two before her arrest, remorse and shame do not make sense. Being local, I was privy to watching much of this on tv, reading the actual local paper. I know many of you have to rely on streaming video over the net. I'm sure you can understand, that when you live locally in a situation like this, you are SATURATED with news/info. So this is what I did and didn't see in MH just prior to her arrest.


MH seemed to be grandstanding.. she loved the attention of the press. She seemed friendly, willing to answer anything, and in control. After Jen Wadsworth at the Tracy press got her to talk and published it, other reporters called her, and she seemed to enjoy very much talking with them and giving them various versions of her story. She did not seem shameful, scared, or remorseful in any way. As a matter of fact, she seemed relaxed, and to be enjoying all the attention. She even texted the press that she was going down to the police station. The crying started after she got caught.

Because of this, I have a hard time buying the remosre angle. Plus if she were truly remorseful, she would plea guilty and get this over with. She strikes me as a very selfish, narcissitic person who borders on sociopathic (though I'm not sure that she is sociopathic). I believe she saw Sandra as an object to take her rage out on. I don't even know now if I believe that MH was molested in the past or not. I know i completely doubt the rape story. I think it was a way for her to get attention from her friends... very Munchausen-like (like another poster said). It has been reported that MH's daughter was examined and shows no sign of molest. MH may have never molested anyone.... she may not even be a pedophile. She may have just raged on that poor child and did whatever to inflict pain for that reason only. I think she was born with faulty wiring, and various stressors, hormones, etc, brought this to a head. I think she puts on a great act for others, while a monster lurks inside. I don't know that we will ever know the true motive for this, since whenever MH's lips are moving, she's lying. I do believe she is a danger to society and can never be rehabilitated. Regardless of the plea, sentence, etc, she needs to be locked up for life.

snapdragon, I think you may be right. and we may never really know why she did what she did. Do any of us know anymore than we did as to why Jeffery D. what he did? It almost seems that she is playing a part in a TV crime drama, acting it out. I do know that IMO LE has done a very thorough job as I have noticed, and I have faith that they have arrested the right person. Our system does work most of the time, and I have confidence it will in this case. Just my opinion. Nonni

 

[txsvicki]

I felt that she was making herself out to be a victim every since the friend of hers from high school posted that whiny note about no one wanting her and just being in the way. Very manipulative and could have been talking about friends instead of her own parents. Then, the news that her husband totally denied any alcoholism or domestic abuse. Someone who makes herself out to be a victim. I expect to hear much more things come out from former boyfriends who were accused of abuse and other things.

 

[nursebeeme]

...well then consequently it must also be too early to presume she is guilty of these crimes.

seeing how this is websleuths... I can see your legal side of things. Seeing how this is websleuths, I can also see this going tit for tat for pages and pages during the discussion of what we know so far in this case. I understand that all persons are innocent until proven guilty. We are discussing this case and HOW she could have been arrested for this crime and accused not only of murder...but of kidnapping and rape with an object.

I personally am saving that legal work for the legal people and hoping they do a damm fine job. I don't want an innocent person put away for a crime they did not commit. I am sure many, if not all, other websleuthers would echo that.

 

[nursebeeme]

Thanks for sharing your experiences here. This is very interesting. I had no idea she had become such a "media ho" before the arrest.

All I have seen of the before arrest video of Huckaby is her waving at the press when she was driving to the police station. I thought that was odd, because I wondered why the press would even have that shot. I wondered if they were just there in the park because of the murder and happened to catch her leaving. Now it seems, from what you say, she set up that photo op.

Really sick.

bold is mine, KK.. great post!

This girl was a walking, breathing, eating media ho! It really, moo, speaks to several possible personality disorders. I also give a lot of credit to the way in which Jennifer Wadsworth from the Tracy Press greased the skids and made her feel comforted and loved and BELIEVED by the media. It opened up the floodgates and washed her into the waiting arms of police.

 

[nursebeeme]

I think she probably was raped. I expected to hear this and of more abuse. I also suspected she was a cutter. I think this murder could have been avoided . We need more resources for mental health aid. We need to not make it a tabu to seek that aid, people ARE wounded and they DO hurt. People have remarked over and over that this woman was off-course. Even the court apparently noticed. It's a shame, a real shame. I'm so sad and angry that Sandra Cantu is gone at 8 years old.

Bold is mine... I want to know what was going on with her family life that she was so distressed about according to friends. According to what her father has said it was all fine and good until BAM! She rapes and kills the neighbor girl. I don't buy it. How come her friend Emma never wanted to go over to her house and Melissa wanted to go live at Emma's? I have a hard time believing the truth will come from her family.... it will come from Melissa and after all that she has done and all the lies to police... it will be like "crying wolf".. Who will believe her?

I agree that we need more primary prevention in our society. There is no darker or sicker cycle than that of abuse and throwing a wrench in it very difficult.

 

[txsvicki]

It's just my opinion, and know that there can be abuse in Christian homes, but I figure Melissa just bucked authority and had a very jealous vengeful nature. Maybe she suffered from anxiety and OCD that resulted in cutting and some depression, but stealing from Target is bucking authority and wanting instant gratification. That's just an example of her criminal mind right there.

 

[snapdragon]

snapdragon, I think you may be right. and we may never really know why she did what she did. Do any of us know anymore than we did as to why Jeffery D. what he did? It almost seems that she is playing a part in a TV crime drama, acting it out. I do know that IMO LE has done a very thorough job as I have noticed, and I have faith that they have arrested the right person. Our system does work most of the time, and I have confidence it will in this case. Just my opinion. Nonni

OMG, Nonni B. I have also been thinking of Jeffery Dahmer throughout this. His poor parents looked distraught and had no clue how he ended up this way. it is not always "nurture", but sometimes nature that creates these monsters.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

OMG, Nonni B. I have also been thinking of Jeffery Dahmer throughout this. His poor parents looked distraught and had no clue how he ended up this way. it is not always "nurture", but sometimes nature that creates these monsters.

Exactly and we have got to stop compartmentalizing all of these predators into one tiny box or statistic because to do so is turning a blind eye to the truth.

If we are going to support the victims then we have to open our minds to the fact that both genders can do very vile and despicable sexual things to children.

I hope now that more victimized children will come forth even if they are embarrassed and ashamed they were molested/raped by a female.

imo

 

[Cubby]

...well then consequently it must also be too early to presume she is guilty of these crimes.

forensics don't lie, the judicial system at times may, but science doesn't. FWIW, I think the innocence project is a great topic but for another forum and thread. Particularly for those who are requesting trials to have evidence rexamined with current technology which wasn't at the time of their trial if any doubt exists..... but again, for another forum and another thread.

jmo

 

[Cubby]

Just posted

Tracy Press Re Huckaby rape charge:

SoCal officer cleared of Huckaby rape charge, probe found

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/ful...get=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&

Oh wow, thanks for posting this. When I initially opened the thread my immediate reaction was this was a made up story Melissa told friends for attention and some pampering, a cry for attention/help in a messed up way. Interesting she may have made up false allegations against an officer. Hmmmmm.....

 

[Cubby]

OMG, Nonni B. I have also been thinking of Jeffery Dahmer throughout this. His poor parents looked distraught and had no clue how he ended up this way. it is not always "nurture", but sometimes nature that creates these monsters.

I agree, but his parents were 1)Not running around in denial.
2)His father openly admitted he KNEW his son had very serious issues since he was a young boy; his parent(s) simply did not have the knowledge on how to help him. I guess this is as good of place as any to again state, science has advanced with medical help for those who are mentally ill. Are we STILL a society which frowns upon this and people simply want to bury their heads in the sand and hope it goes away or resolves itself on it's own? Is it STILL that shameful? So sad that shame supercedes the love one would have for their own family and do whatever we could to help them. Help for the mentally ill and unstable has really come a long way in the past 30-40 or so years. Now societies thoughts on it needs to catch up as well.

jmo