MistyM
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- May 5, 2005
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This talk about (loosely paraphrasing) how Deorr would help his Momma cheer up or feel better when she was irritated reminded me of something that always distressed me so much regarding a relative's child who was removed from her custody several times.
A quick recap...2006-2008 we had custody on and off of my late husband's SIL's son (his brother, the baby's father, had died of a drug overdose when the baby was around 7-8 months old). Anyway, she repeatedly failed to followed the plan outlined by the courts, designed by CPS and agreed upon with her) yet she would still try to contact him, often drunk, begging me to let her talk to him on the phone. Sometimes she left messages in the middle of the night on our answering machine where she was crying, almost incoherently, wanting to talk to and see her son (she also had 2 daughters by another man who was awarded full custody years before). Anyway, she would say stuff like, "I NEED him. Doesn't anyone understand how I NEED him? He is the only thing that makes me happy. He's the only one who can cheer me up and feel better." I remember being so outraged. She wanted her neglected toddler son back to fulfill her emotional needs, even though it was very unsafe for him to be with her??? She never mentioned what she did for him (because it was next to nothing), just why she NEEDED to have him back, he was responsible for her adult emotional needs??? Talk about messed up! It was never about what she could do for him or even that she wanted to straighten out her life to be a good mom. It was all about her emotional despondence.
Sickening, really.
yeah it's those moms who think of their offspring as extensions of themselves, (i gave you life). totally narcissistic. i know this is the second time i've brought up another high profile crime, but think of susan smith and how she just got rid of her boys because they were interferring in her dating life. these kind of women don't mind cutting off any sort of hangnail, or whiny needy child, if they are in the mom's way.
JMOO but maybe jess liked the attention she got from having the baby and being pregnant and then tired of it quickly, could be why she wasn't overly invested in keeping custody of her other two little angels. i feel there was no mother/child bonding being done in that family.
poor little deorr... sensing his mom's disinterest and frustration with having to take care of him.. trying to make her love him. if that has an ounce of truth to it, i might cry for the first time since this all started, and i'm a pretty logical, unemotional person. i mean i hate that deorr is missing but thinking of him doing what jessica alluded to, my goodness... that precious little sweetie.