If your child were murdered

[redheadedgal]

I believe the Barnhill quote on JAR is on page-71 (just to save you a little time). But somewhere in this thread, it is quoted, as well as a lot more information on JAR (his reactions, his observations, his comments).

here is another thread i found last night on JB and JAR...

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2519"]Joe Barnhill told to forget what he saw - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]



WB -- maybe welcome back ??

 

[tezi]

here is another thread i found last night on JB and JAR...

Joe Barnhill told to forget what he saw - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community



WB -- maybe welcome back ??

BBM: Yes, I think that is what it is....

I need to go check out that thread...

 

[madeleine]

JOHN RAMSEY: One of the most heart-lifting things to us that came out of this tragedy was that while we certainly know there are evil people in the world, we have just been overwhelmed by the goodness that has come to us from people that we don't even know. We have received cards from Tenerife. We've received cards from Saskatchewan, Canada, Europe (prompted by Patsy), certainly from all over the United States.

I have corresponded several times with a little girl about our son Burke's age in southern Illinois that was very distressed by this. I received a card from an elderly lady, I think she said she was 85 and she had to wait until she got her Social Security check to buy stamps and send us a letter. And, it's just been wonderful. So we've come out of this perhaps differently than you would expect in believing that there really is a lot of goodness in the world and that that's been an outcome that I think we certainly didn't, wouldn't have anticipated with this kind of a tragedy.


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JOHN B. RAMSEY, JONBENET'S FATHER: Well we have been pretty isolated -- totally isolated -- for the last five days, but we've sensed from our friends that this tragedy has touched not just ourselves and our friends but many people. And we know that there's many people that are praying for us, that are grieving with us. And we want to thank them, to let them know that we are healing, and that we know in our hearts that JonBenet is safe and with God and that the grieving that we all have to do is for ourselves and for our loss, but we want to thank those people that care about us.






sometimes I really have the impression he's high or something :scared:

 

[questfortrue]

JOHN RAMSEY: One of the most heart-lifting things to us that came out of this tragedy was that while we certainly know there are evil people in the world, we have just been overwhelmed by the goodness that has come to us from people that we don't even know. We have received cards from Tenerife. We've received cards from Saskatchewan, Canada, Europe (prompted by Patsy), certainly from all over the United States.

I have corresponded several times with a little girl about our son Burke's age in southern Illinois that was very distressed by this. I received a card from an elderly lady, I think she said she was 85 and she had to wait until she got her Social Security check to buy stamps and send us a letter. And, it's just been wonderful. So we've come out of this perhaps differently than you would expect in believing that there really is a lot of goodness in the world and that that's been an outcome that I think we certainly didn't, wouldn't have anticipated with this kind of a tragedy.


--------------------


JOHN B. RAMSEY, JONBENET'S FATHER: Well we have been pretty isolated -- totally isolated -- for the last five days, but we've sensed from our friends that this tragedy has touched not just ourselves and our friends but many people. And we know that there's many people that are praying for us, that are grieving with us. And we want to thank them, to let them know that we are healing, and that we know in our hearts that JonBenet is safe and with God and that the grieving that we all have to do is for ourselves and for our loss, but we want to thank those people that care about us.




sometimes I really have the impression he's high or something :scared:

BBM :giggle:
If one believes either PR and/or JR were narcissists or manifested BPD, it would be natural for JR and PR to believe that there exists 2 general groups in the population: The good group (highly esteemed group) and the bad group (low-lifes). It would also be natural for them to place themselves in the good group. It is a common personality feature of narcissists to believe they are innocent of all wrong-doing, and always to be highly esteemed. moo

 

[Chelly]

BBM :giggle:
If one believes either PR and/or JR were narcissists or manifested BPD, it would be natural for JR and PR to believe that there exists 2 general groups in the population: The good group (highly esteemed group) and the bad group (low-lifes). It would also be natural for them to place themselves in the good group. It is a common personality feature of narcissists to believe they are innocent of all wrong-doing, and always to be highly esteemed. moo

Agreed: And, questfortrue, if I may add:
They also have a natural sense of entitlement. We sometimes forget that their thought and reasoning process is different that yours and mine. It is almost like they live another reality.

 

[EtherealMoonRose]

I would probably die of a broken heart.

I wouldn't be acting cordial, leave my husbands side and the last thing on my mind would be to call my lawyer (unless ofcourse I was guilty of something....)

Something is not adding up with the Ramseys. I can understand not wanting to be in that house for another second, but every other behaviour they displayed points to guilt.

 

[Miz Adventure]

I don't think we can put ourselves in the position of the R's that night. You would need to get into the mindset of these people. John had already lost a daughter. PR may have thought that BR would be taken from them and put into an institution (which, if he was guilty of the appalling crime, would probably have happened).

If my child had been murdered by a stranger, in the way we were told JBR had been - then I would not only die of a broken heart, I think I would not be able to live with the guilt of not being able to keep my child safe in her own bed.

Forgiveness? Never! Not in a million years. Nobody, not even a parent, has the right to forgive on behalf of a murder victim.

However.....if my son had been involved it would be different. If I had already known he had mental problems and could be liable to do something like this then I would still blame myself but the anger would be diminished.

Whether or not I would cover the crime for him, who knows? I tend to think I probably would not, but what the R's would do is probably another matter.

 

[flourish]

My child was killed by his father. It's about a million times worse than one can imagine. I don't have anything to add in regards to the Ramseys, though, as I can't relate to them about this or anything much really. I'm not rich or creepy.

 

[TeaTime]

If my mentally ill/behavior challenged/character flawed 9, almost 10, year old son killed my 6 year old daughter, I would hire lawyers, refuse to speak to police, get him all the mental health treatment money could afford and lie for him until the day I died. Sorry, but I would. I would never throw my own child under the bus and would prefer to be hated and imprisoned myself before my child.

I get why they did this. But, that doesn't mean what they did was right, just like I would be wrong to do this for my own.

 

[Miz Adventure]

My child was killed by his father. It's about a million times worse than one can imagine. I don't have anything to add in regards to the Ramseys, though, as I can't relate to them about this or anything much really. I'm not rich or creepy.

OMG, flourish. What a terrible thing. You have my sincerest sympathy for your loss.

Is your child's father in prison now?

 

[AndHence]

Neither parent asked law enforcement how JonBenet died. They had no questions about the autopsy. This is not normal.

 

[flourish]

OMG, flourish. What a terrible thing. You have my sincerest sympathy for your loss.

Is your child's father in prison now?

He spent a decade in prison and is out now.

 

[Rott Mom]

flourish...I can't even imagine. How are you doing? My heart & prayers go out to you.

 

[flourish]

I don't want to hijack the thread. I hang in there. It was a long time ago so it's less fresh but still awful. I have an excellent support system. Shout out to my 6 amazing siblings. I never had more babies, just worked with them after that and have many nieces, nephews and grand nieces and nephews. And I married a single dad in 2015 so that's awesome. Thanks guys.

I can't relate to the Ramseys.

 

[buggiegirl]

Thank you for sharing flourish. Hugs from an internet stranger.

 

[buggiegirl]

If my mentally ill/behavior challenged/character flawed 9, almost 10, year old son killed my 6 year old daughter, I would hire lawyers, refuse to speak to police, get him all the mental health treatment money could afford and lie for him until the day I died. Sorry, but I would. I would never throw my own child under the bus and would prefer to be hated and imprisoned myself before my child.

I get why they did this. But, that doesn't mean what they did was right, just like I would be wrong to do this for my own.

I think my reaction nowadays versus in the 90s would be quite different. Nowadays, I know too much about the American justice system to let my child enter it if I can prevent it. But back then, if I was a rich white person, I might have let things play out. Burke, if he did it, needed help and it's not like he would have ended up in juvie or prison or a children's home. Honestly, even now as a rich white person I don't really know what they would have to fear.

I would want the best professionals in mental health to help me help my child in that situation. I'd hire lawyers and take their advice, but I don't think lying for your child does your child any favors in the long run. My #1 priority would be preventing my child from ever doing anything like that ever again. My #2 priority would be my child.

 

[Eloise]

If my mentally ill/behavior challenged/character flawed 9, almost 10, year old son killed my 6 year old daughter, I would hire lawyers, refuse to speak to police, get him all the mental health treatment money could afford and lie for him until the day I died. Sorry, but I would. I would never throw my own child under the bus and would prefer to be hated and imprisoned myself before my child.

I get why they did this. But, that doesn't mean what they did was right, just like I would be wrong to do this for my own.

I can understand this PoV but at the same time, I'd never live with myself if the child went on to hurt an innocent, someone else's child. Maybe it would depend on the degree of intent behind the original action.


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[BBB167893]

My child was killed by his father. It's about a million times worse than one can imagine. I don't have anything to add in regards to the Ramseys, though, as I can't relate to them about this or anything much really. I'm not rich or creepy.

Dear God, flourish. Mere words cannot express my sympathy for you.

I hope that b*****d gets hit by a truck, God forgive me.

 

[Ambitioned]

I agree with Dave. I'm so sorry flourish. :cry: :rose:

 

[andreww]

Neither parent asked law enforcement how JonBenet died. They had no questions about the autopsy. This is not normal.

Nothing these people did after the crime was normal. Nothing! I get it when people say "you never know how you'll react when...", but these people were so far off the grid. I simply don't know how anyone with an ounce of intelligence couldn't see right through the facade the Ramsey's put on. People like Hunter, Smit, and Lacy, words just escape me.