Found Deceased IL - Jelani 'JJ' Day, 25, ISU grad student, missed class, Bloomington, 23 Aug 2021 #2

[Silver Spring]

Reviewing this case again, my opinion of what happened to Jelani hasn't changed either. All the events leading up to his death are classic markers of someone who was caught in a spiral of being held up to a standard he was unable to attain. All of the things attributed to Jelani; his being a donor for his father, his desire to be a student of speech pathology, his enthusiasm for his supposed dream job are all via the lips of his mother. I feel he was an agreeable child who was coddled by his mother because he was the 3rd of three sons, 'the life and energy of the family', he made a Purity vow, that he would marry a 'chocolate woman and have six children' sound like a trajectory that was assigned to him rather than allowing him to make his own life choices. I also believe that the quid pro quo for Jelani was to negotiate money with his mother to balance all the things he wanted by using his family as an ATM machine. Sometimes it's easier to go with the flow because it was the lesser of two evils.

I don't know when his father was diagnosed with cancer but everyone in the family just assumed because he was a bone marrow match to his dad, he'd automatically go through with the donation. It doesn't sound like Jelani had a voice in his family as to what his future would be. Or if he did say anything it was to parrot what the plan for him was. Being a speech therapist, marrying a black girl and having six kids, being a donor for his dad, etc sounds like a child who learned that it was a pointless exercise to counter the future that was planned for him; just acquiesce and nod and do his own thing. Jelani was ignoring the requirements for a bone marrow donation, he was cutting classes, he hadn't made any arrangements for his clinic assignments or meeting his clients, he was smoking a lot of weed knowing that it would render him inadmissible for donor status.

Everything we hear about Jelani is from his mother: his past, his future, his dreams, even his death. If information doesn't fit the established narrative it is discarded, if LE doesn't conform to the narrative the mother desperately needs to give herself peace, they are dismissed as covering up a crime.

Imagine if Jelani was nothing how his mother described him. What if he was attracted to a white girl? What if he didn't want any kids? What if he was gay? What if he wasted all his parents money on an education for a career he had no interest in? What if, when LE finally get into his phone, there's stuff on there that no one in his family want publicized? What if he purposely did drugs knowing it would eliminate him as a donor? What if the pressure of being the man his mother wanted him to be, was a bridge too far? The last day his movements were tracked he basically discarded connections that would render him a new person. A new person but one who wouldn't fit the image ascribed to him. IMO

My opinion aligns with yours, especially in regards to his mother. Sad but true and it has to make self-harm even more difficult for her to accept. I've followed this case closely and all of the signs are there. We know almost nothing about Jelani, except for what his mother has told us. Which is strange, to say the least. Anyone else that has tried to speak about him, she quickly shuts down. Early on (before his body was found) there was a missing person's Facebook group that included a lot of Jelani's friends and classmates from Danville, ISU, and Alabama A&M, along with his mother. There were discussions about Jelani's sexuality. These people all said in the group they they were 100% certain, without a doubt, that he was gay. His mother said he was absolutely not gay. Within a couple of days, all the friends left the group and have been silent since. They were getting a lot of hate because his mother made a public post sharing a screenshot of the group and said negative things about what people were discussing. Of course, as we know, his obituary then stated he "wanted to marry a chocolate women and have 6 kids". Seems this was an attempt to thwart anyone from believing he was gay. Also, according to a very reliable source from ISU (not the director), his mother was so unaware of what was happening in his life. This person was upset more energy was not being put into mental health for black men. It gives me the impression that faculty told Jelani's mother things she didn't know about him (as evidenced in the Redbird Care Team reports), it angered her and she didn't want to believe it. Even though she told police when she reported him missing that he was depressed to "get them to do their jobs" and search for him. Unfortunately, her very public "side eye" against the Director of Clinical Education has caused incredibly damaging conspiracy theories (that persist today) to which the Director received death threats.

People argue he wouldn't have harmed himself because he was a donor for his dad, but what they don't know is that all 3 sons were donor matches, per his mother. So it wasn't all on Jelani to save his dad's life and he knew that. The last update his mother gave concerning his phone was a little over a year ago. She said a Bloomington detective, Todd McClusky, told her nothing was on it and Jelani had deleted everything while he sat in the dispensary parking lot. She said further forensics were being done but it would take months. Nothing further has been said. If there was anything on it pointing to self-harm, surely the public will not be told. In an interview, his mother said she told Jelani it was time for him to "come out from under the umbrella" financially. I believe he was feeling the pressure.
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I belong to family support groups for those of us who have lost loved ones to suicide, some have appeared to be just as unexplainable, just as mysterious, with some family members just as insistent that there had to have been foul play. There were no search parties, no extensive investigations.
I feel sorry for families that can't accept this, it really doesn't honor the victims when you refuse to see what they must have been going through to do this.

@NoSpoonFeeding I appreciate your insight. I do feel this was most likely suicide but I do struggle with a few details. One being he took off his shorts, shoes, and socks (found at the riverbank), but his body was found with a sweatshirt tied around his waist. What are your thoughts on this?

 

[Wallendo]

I doubt we will ever know with 100% certainty what really happened, but I am reasonably convinced this was self harm, probably intentional.

His actions on the day of his death suggest a mental crisis. He went to school early, but student health services wasn't open yet. He buys a coffee and than drives back to his apartment. He changes clothes. He drives to the dispensary and is videoed leaving his car alone. His last know human interaction is with the staff of the dispensary. He goes back to his car and leaves. No other person is seen approaching his car. He disposes of his phone while driving away from town. There are reports he was captured on video walking in Peru. His only known interactions are with the clerks at the coffee shop and the dispensary.

There is no motive. He has no known enemies. Other than the white supremacists his family suggested very early on, there are no suspects.

Although there are events that are hard to reconcile with suicide, I find it much harder to envision a homicidal situation that matches all the known facts.

 

[Seattle1]

Jelani was only 25 yrs old, and I believe at the moment he wanted out, he was being hit from all sides: ...the unanswered questions about his status in graduate school program, his drivers license, his father health, and maybe even relationship issues.

For whatever reason, I think he was triggered on that warm day in August. Also, I think his friends know and accepted his choice. MOO