One of my uncle’s matches (who is now of no interest, but at that time was the highest) told me that he did not understand much but hired a genealogist to sort things out. Half a year later, he got a tree, with the name of the father who raised him plus a tree, and the name of the biofather plus his tree. It is doable.
We are living at the time when most adoption records are not sealed, and it is possible to find out the truth. Non-paternal event is a more complicated aspect, but possible to find out.
There are more difficult situations that happen, such as embryo adoption. Go guess what genealogy job is performed there, as the child physically born of that mother, with witnesses and records, is not her biological child. Think of all egg and sperm donors plus surrogate mothers... I only hope that with embryo donation, there is some paper trail. As to sperm donors, they are usually anonymous, but at least other kids born of them often do seek their parents, and would be in Gedmatch.
From my own genealogy work, for my family, I do cross paths with adopted kids. I don’t know how valid my impression is, but dads are usually less careful, and leave trails. Some situations are comic, some, tragic, but they are found.
With moms, it might be more difficult. The shame, and the ostracism on behalf of their own biological families, and also on behalf of their then-husbands, if they exist, is shocking. Some of these moms simply disappear (commit suicide, maybe?), or start drinking. I have heard of several very tragic stories. And it is surprising how bad the “true” biological families are to such kids, the products of their mom’s affairs. I though it had to do with inheritance, but no, often it is merely about the hatred of a young woman who once fell in love and bore that child, the product of love, and then gave him up for adoption. It is all about the societal expectations from a woman and a man, the societal norms, and I wonder, has anyone else noticed this disparity of views and attitudes, towards men and women, mothers and fathers, in cases of adoptees?
