Found Deceased KY - James 'Mike' Kimsey, 48, Louisville, 29 May 2015

[bluesneakers]

Police obviously have their reasons for the actions they do or do not take. If police believed this was a suicide, they would be all over those surrounding areas looking to finish this case and find Mike. The point being, if he did not take his car and went to commit suicide in the middle of the night, the search area radius would be relatively small and the officers could close this case by searching for him.

All that stated, it seems that police seemingly have other thoughts and do not see a reason to actively search the surrounding areas.

I personally think this is not a suicide. I personally think everything is too fishy for it to be a suicide.

It appears to me the police have run out of ideas.

 

[LawFilly]

If he is on leave for surgeries, though, he is not being tested. Even if he was, he would obviously be taking some level of pain medication. I personally believed these pain medications may have had some role in all of this from the get go.
I was the guy who opened this thread and I am very happy to see how far it has come. A lot of people concerned for Mike. To this day, I still think about him. I have written the news stations recently in hopes that they continue to stay on this story.


Some thoughts:
Could possibly a boyfriend of his wife have done away with him?
Could his wife have done something and had somebody help her in disposing his body?
Could a drug deal gone bad helped to have ended his life?
Could a painkiller addiction have caused enough depression and hopelessness for him to commit suicide?

Mike or his body is out there somewhere. Let us never give up.

I disagree with you in regard to him taking some level of pain medication at the time of his disappearance; and, I do NOT believe the pain medications played any role in it. Not everybody takes it just because they have it! I agree with you that.....1) possibly a boyfriend could have done away with him, and 2) his wife could have done something and had somebody to help her in disposing of his body. The other two I totally disagree with you!

I, too, have contacted the media several times asking them to keep this story in front of the people. Unfortunately, I think Mike's "body" is out there but WHERE? I just wish people would speak up if they know anything. Is there a reason they would be afraid to do so?

 

[LawFilly]

I don't think the cell phone activity has been verified. I don't see him walking to catch a bus. It would take him a while to get up to the main road to get on a bus -- it's a couple of miles away. He could have called for a taxi, but I don't think the police have said anything about his cell phone activity. The fact that his car remained at home leaves us with four possibilities:
1) He walked away to commit suicide.
2) Someone picked him up (friend, drug dealer, taxi, girlfriend, hitchhike pickup, etc.)
3) Someone forced him away
4) He was killed and his body is nearby

​I agree with you on #3 and #4!!!

 

[LawFilly]

It appears to me the police have run out of ideas.

I didn't know police ran out of ideas! :thinking: :notgood:

 

[LawFilly]

I wonder if they are searching any areas or doing anything on this case.

​My opinion only.

 

[bluesneakers]

I didn't know police ran out of ideas! :thinking: :notgood:

What are they doing that implies they have new ideas or plans? It seems to me they've just backed away and are waiting for something to happen. No judgment from me! I just think they've done all they can do, so until they get a lead or a tip or someone finds his body they're stuck.

 

[Rocky Road]

What are they doing that implies they have new ideas or plans? It seems to me they've just backed away and are waiting for something to happen. No judgment from me! I just think they've done all they can do, so until they get a lead or a tip or someone finds his body they're stuck.

But we really don't know what the police know, do we? They are not going to tell the public, for sure!

 

[fred&edna]

I've thought quite a bit about this too. My only assumption is that perhaps when they first got the case, took in the facts, they thought that he's an adult, no known enemies, good standing in the community, isn't known to have any involvement in drug/gang/criminal circles. Of course, I know nothing about the atmosphere or frame of mind of the LE or the wife or anyone else interviewed at that time, but perhaps once the information was taken in, they decided he was low risk for being a victim of foul play or suicide. They maybe thought it was more likely that he had left out of a domestic argument with wife, possibly to cool off, to seek an alternate living arrangement (get his own apartment etc after a domestic argument was disclosed etc), or they thought perhaps he may have left the wife for another woman.

Another factor that may have been at play. I am not saying it did, this is only IMO. but Mike was ex military, and there's a brotherhood and kinship and extreme respect between military and police. Because of his military status, they could have been more inclined to back off and allow Mike time to come home, etc., in order to spare him embarrassment and lack of intrusion later. Again, this is all my speculation, but we don't know what info LE had at time report was made, what consensus they came up with.


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Yes, it's certainly possible LE thought of domestic dispute, a girl friend on the side, and other things you mentioned but one would think they wouldn't actually wait three weeks before searching the immediate area where he was last seen.

And, especially since there is the kinship between military and LE... they could have done some "quiet" inspections of the home & surrounding area. They would have been doing their jobs and still helping him "save face"... just in a more timely manner. SAR w/dogs and the rest of the kit n' search kaboodle could still have been brought in... just a bit sooner.

It is possible LE had been given some information that led them to believe Mike was to be away for approximately 3 weeks.

I would hope LMPD followed standard operating procedures, but I fear they decided a bit too quickly that Mike was a voluntary walkaway.

Yep, all just my opinion

 

[Sweetgrits]

As an individual who works professionally in social areas, I do hold to the theory that foul play may be involved; however, as much as I hate to speak of this because I'm aware family may read my opinion, it would not be in the best interest to dismiss other theories that are quite likely as well.

I have read that mike was a career military man (I believe pilot US Airforce) prior to his employment with the airline. With that being said, and with a long family history of military men, I'm familiar with the rigors and discipline that military personnel often live with during their career. Most military men are quite adept at internalizing their emotional pain and problems except to a few very close people, and sometimes no one. In general, men in our society, especially those in the middle-age and elder age range have often been taught through socially handed down traditions that it's not acceptable for males to show weakness, but remain strong at all times. And although anyone, despite gender, has every right and can feel a range of emotions, sometimes they feel that they cannot share their feelings.

In society, mental health has much stigma associated with it, there's a "mark of shame" that often is associated with it - disgrace, non understanding, and/or disapproval by Friends, family, neighbors, employers, and coworkers leave someone experiencing feelings of depression with isolation or rejection. Sometimes people who suffer from any mental disorder are denied basic liberties like partaking in family events, normal society networks, productive employment, and this is especially true for a pilot.

IF Mike was feeling like his life was unraveling due to his relationship issues (embarrassment by people finding out about wife's transgressions, losing one half of his assets, upcoming legal and financial issues etc), he certainly could NOT talk to his employer about it, and even if he went to a private doctor to seek help he could not take an antidepressant or med for anxiety as he's drug tested frequently and he'd lose his job, career, financial stability, and a hugely defining part of the essence of who he was. Sadly, nearly any other profession can seek mental health assistance without fear of losing this, but nit a pilot. And a career military professional with a current career pilot status would have much issue with ego seeking help for mental illness. In the profession of pilots, there's a name for this, it's called the "mental health hidden burden" (can't get help nor take mess or lose job). Source: http://pix11.com video interview posted 3/31/2015.

I've read that it's been reported Mike went about his usual business on the days prior to being reported missing, but it is not uncommon at all for a person who is suicidal to act in this very same manner, especially if they feel that society expects this of them. It's often viewed that there are two types of people with suicides - those who are grasping for help and those who intend that follow through. Those who are grasping for help will declare to others they want to die, will make it known to someone, will act differently in ways, it's their way of begging for help. But those who have resolved to follow through do NOT tell other people, they often keep all depression hidden, let no one in on their agenda because they don't want anyone to stop their plans. People who've successfully committed suicide have been reported to go their favorite stores, places, carry out very extra normal routines immediately prior to the act. Some have been known to convey messages in letters, social media, and texts that it's a wonderful day (bc their perception is they know today is the day their suffering will end).

Was Mike depressed? I don't know, perhaps no one knows. We don't know IF he left in shoes. As I've stated before, I couldn't tell you what shoes my husband has on at any given moment most days (as most men of Mikes age and my hubby's age coincidentally), and similar social economic status have several pairs of shoes. And like his wife I have a similar aged child in the home and am often pre occupied with keeping up with the child's clothes, shoes, school items, toys, etc and therefore hubby's shoe collection and count isn't of high priority to me. It's quite likely that Mike had on shoes when he left that house (be it alone or unwillingly), and he did take his wallet and cellphone. Yes they've stated no use of credit cards but did he have cash? Again, he was a man with financial means, and it's likely his wallet or within his home he had a bit of cash tucked away for a cash emergency, especially if he had any suicidal forethought.

Mike was a pilot, previously I've read that those who work for airlines get free "extra seats" on flights - I'm assuming that the police surely has looked into this out of Louisvilles airport. Maybe they don't issue a standard ticket but he'd be listed on a travel manifest in the event the flight went down etc I would presume. He may have chosen an alternate location for a suicide, other than his town. In recent years it's not been uncommon for people to select venues away from their home area to end their life. Although there's only speculation as to why they chose this method, some are: anonymity (to spare family burden of knowing that they have killed themselves in attempt to protect family from knowledge/grief), protect family from discovering the body, protect family from associating an area or place with the suicide in the future, etc.). Since Mikes body hasn't been found locally, it is a possibility that he used cash to travel by taxi, bus, rail, etc to another city and committed suicide anonymously. It's not that much of a stretch to believe that if a person felt socially unable to disclose despair while living (the weakness or "less than" effect of not being able to handle life's problems) that he may want to disguise his actions in death for vanity reasons or to protect others.

Some facts on suicide: (2014 stats used)....
In the USA, 41,149 people committed suicide.
Of those, 32,055 were men.
Men are nearly 4 times as likely to successfully commit suicide as women.
37,154 that committed suicide were white.... NINE out of TEN are WHITE of those that committed suicide.
15,756 were middle aged - aged 45-64 - nearly ONE-HALF were MIDDLE AGED.

So Mike is in the HIGHEST gender, the HIGHEST race, the HIGHEST age category. It does NOT mean he has committed suicide, but if I were LE or family, I certainly would be putting high regard to the possibility that he may have went elsewhere and this may be why. I'd be looking into any unidentified bodies since he's been missing that fits his profile.

In the U.S., ONE person every 12.8 minutes dies from suicide, it's the 10th leading cause of death (homicide I'd 16th)

Suicide: risk factors (that Mike meets) - WHITE, MALE, MIDDLE AGED, FREE MOBILITY (means and ability to move about to commit the act). STRESSORS (that Mike may/may not have felt) - out of work (due to current health situation), job stress (unable to return to work due to current physical condition, unable to seek mental health assistance due to pilot status), marriage/relationship stress (alleged problems with wife and extramarital affair, possible separation, divorce, child custody). And ACUTE RISK FACTORS that Mike may/may not have felt: recent or anticipating a marital separation or divorce (alleged), feelings of being a victim or feelings of rage (possible if alleged infidelity was actually uncovered by Mike), psychological pain and/or acute distress possibly resulting in feelings of loss, rejection, and defeat (loss of marriage/family unit, rejected by wife, defeated by the boyfriend), feelings of anger (from wife's alleged actions), rage, seeking revenge, withdrawn (possibly without showing this outwardly but internalizing his emotion), hopelessness - seeing things in black/white instead of gray, having few reasons to want to continue to live (may have felt like he was losing wife and son as he was a pilot and his career would inhibit his chances of having full custody of son, thus wife would get child and he had nothing worth living for), sense of no purpose, life has lost meaning, no reason for living (not a far stretch for anyone who's anticipating a divorce and possible loss of child in life), negative or mixed emotions toward receiving mental health help (military mentality of "being strong" and fear of losing his career if he was to seek help, social views regarding men being weak and showing weakness, requesting help. Any real or anticipated event causing or threatening shame, guilt, despair, humiliation, loss of face, or status (DIVORCE/infidelity), legal problems (divorce, child custody), financial problems (divorce), feeling rejected (divorce), abandoned.


Source: http://suicidology.org (statistics) and general information is my opinion/theory of possibility ONLY as a consideration as alternate idea, taken from my years of professional experience working in social science career and my education/continuing education.




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I haven't been online for a few days so I'm trying to catch up and could have overlooked this info, but could you point me to the link about his wife's transgressions? I know we can't speculate about family until it's in MSM so I would like to see the link. TIA

 

[KYangel]

Yes, it's certainly possible LE thought of domestic dispute, a girl friend on the side, and other things you mentioned but one would think they wouldn't actually wait three weeks before searching the immediate area where he was last seen.

And, especially since there is the kinship between military and LE... they could have done some "quiet" inspections of the home & surrounding area. They would have been doing their jobs and still helping him "save face"... just in a more timely manner. SAR w/dogs and the rest of the kit n' search kaboodle could still have been brought in... just a bit sooner.

It is possible LE had been given some information that led them to believe Mike was to be away for approximately 3 weeks.

I would hope LMPD followed standard operating procedures, but I fear they decided a bit too quickly that Mike was a voluntary walkaway.

Yep, all just my opinion

Do you, or anyone reading, know if the LE has publicly stated:

A) if they have attempted contact and/or pinging his cell phone, and if so what was the result.

B) if they have received a detailed report of text/data/voice usage hours leading up to and since his disappearance, and if so if anything suspicious was found.

I'm sure this is common SOP for every missing persons investigations, but I don't recall hearing/reading any information about this.

Perhaps any TN family that's actively involved in the case can inquire and maybe can get some answer (assuming that they're lacking this info).

I realize that LE won't tell WHAT they learned, but perhaps they'll at least acknowledge if there was any suspicious activity/activity to pull the investigation in a specific direction. Also maybe they'll verify if the phone has been used at all or if any signal can be traced.


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[Wyle_E_Coyote]

Do you, or anyone reading, know if the LE has publicly stated:

A) if they have attempted contact and/or pinging his cell phone, and if so what was the result.

B) if they have received a detailed report of text/data/voice usage hours leading up to and since his disappearance, and if so if anything suspicious was found.

I'm sure this is common SOP for every missing persons investigations, but I don't recall hearing/reading any information about this.

Perhaps any TN family that's actively involved in the case can inquire and maybe can get some answer (assuming that they're lacking this info).

I realize that LE won't tell WHAT they learned, but perhaps they'll at least acknowledge if there was any suspicious activity/activity to pull the investigation in a specific direction. Also maybe they'll verify if the phone has been used at all or if any signal can be traced.


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His cell phone battery was dead after a day or so, and no activity on his credit card or bank accounts.

Read more: http://www.missingveterans.com/2015/james-mike-kimsey/

No info has been released on pings, calls, messages, etc. I'm sure LE has the info, though.

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[KYangel]

I haven't been online for a few days so I'm trying to catch up and could have overlooked this info, but could you point me to the link about his wife's transgressions? I know we can't speculate about family until it's in MSM so I would like to see the link. TIA

I haven't been online for a few days so I'm trying to catch up and could have overlooked this info, but could you point me to the link about his wife's transgressions? I know we can't speculate about family until it's in MSM so I would like to see the link. TIA

In the context that I was giving as example, I was not using the provided examples as a statement that they were known stresses to Mike, nor verified information to the case. They were in no way meant to imply that these has incurred or that I had a confirmatory source of such.


As stated , it reads, "IF Mike was feeling Like his life was unraveling due to relationship issues (embarrassment by people finding out about wife's transgressions, losing one-half of assets...)".


The sentence begins with an uppercase "IF", and The items in the parenthesis are listed to give examples of possible scenarios that may (or may not) effect him in this situation. While previously attempting to make it clear that this was an example and not a cited source, I do apologize if I was unclear.


Transgression, by definition, is when a perception of boundary is being violated. Within the scope of a relationship, and offered here for further consideration, are a few examples of relationship transgressions; they could include: broken promises, over reaction (real or perceived) to the partners behavior, perception of neglecting partner, flirting, dating, or outside relationships, verbal accusations, deceit, secrets, hiding facts, disrespect of mate's personal and relationship boundaries.

 

[Anchorage]

Police obviously have their reasons for the actions they do or do not take. If police believed this was a suicide, they would be all over those surrounding areas looking to finish this case and find Mike. The point being, if he did not take his car and went to commit suicide in the middle of the night, the search area radius would be relatively small and the officers could close this case by searching for him.

All that stated, it seems that police seemingly have other thoughts and do not see a reason to actively search the surrounding areas.

I personally think this is not a suicide. I personally think everything is too fishy for it to be a suicide.

Well whatever it is, it is not earth shattering enough for much action from the police, or the spouse. I see no recent coverage of this on the news. Spouse has not asked for neighborhood help that I am aware of. At first I thought there was foul play, but lack of any action to resolve this makes me think LE is just letting things play out. I doubt they'd have much reason to keep searching the woods if the spouse is not upset, or pushing them or bringing this up in the media. Less stuff they have to do, and they can just assume he was a walk off.

 

[angkg]

As an individual who works professionally in social areas, I do hold to the theory that foul play may be involved; however, as much as I hate to speak of this because I'm aware family may read my opinion, it would not be in the best interest to dismiss other theories that are quite likely as well.

I have read that mike was a career military man (I believe pilot US Airforce) prior to his employment with the airline. With that being said, and with a long family history of military men, I'm familiar with the rigors and discipline that military personnel often live with during their career. Most military men are quite adept at internalizing their emotional pain and problems except to a few very close people, and sometimes no one. In general, men in our society, especially those in the middle-age and elder age range have often been taught through socially handed down traditions that it's not acceptable for males to show weakness, but remain strong at all times. And although anyone, despite gender, has every right and can feel a range of emotions, sometimes they feel that they cannot share their feelings.

In society, mental health has much stigma associated with it, there's a "mark of shame" that often is associated with it - disgrace, non understanding, and/or disapproval by Friends, family, neighbors, employers, and coworkers leave someone experiencing feelings of depression with isolation or rejection. Sometimes people who suffer from any mental disorder are denied basic liberties like partaking in family events, normal society networks, productive employment, and this is especially true for a pilot.

IF Mike was feeling like his life was unraveling due to his relationship issues (embarrassment by people finding out about wife's transgressions, losing one half of his assets, upcoming legal and financial issues etc), he certainly could NOT talk to his employer about it, and even if he went to a private doctor to seek help he could not take an antidepressant or med for anxiety as he's drug tested frequently and he'd lose his job, career, financial stability, and a hugely defining part of the essence of who he was. Sadly, nearly any other profession can seek mental health assistance without fear of losing this, but nit a pilot. And a career military professional with a current career pilot status would have much issue with ego seeking help for mental illness. In the profession of pilots, there's a name for this, it's called the "mental health hidden burden" (can't get help nor take mess or lose job). Source: http://pix11.com video interview posted 3/31/2015.

I've read that it's been reported Mike went about his usual business on the days prior to being reported missing, but it is not uncommon at all for a person who is suicidal to act in this very same manner, especially if they feel that society expects this of them. It's often viewed that there are two types of people with suicides - those who are grasping for help and those who intend that follow through. Those who are grasping for help will declare to others they want to die, will make it known to someone, will act differently in ways, it's their way of begging for help. But those who have resolved to follow through do NOT tell other people, they often keep all depression hidden, let no one in on their agenda because they don't want anyone to stop their plans. People who've successfully committed suicide have been reported to go their favorite stores, places, carry out very extra normal routines immediately prior to the act. Some have been known to convey messages in letters, social media, and texts that it's a wonderful day (bc their perception is they know today is the day their suffering will end).

Was Mike depressed? I don't know, perhaps no one knows. We don't know IF he left in shoes. As I've stated before, I couldn't tell you what shoes my husband has on at any given moment most days (as most men of Mikes age and my hubby's age coincidentally), and similar social economic status have several pairs of shoes. And like his wife I have a similar aged child in the home and am often pre occupied with keeping up with the child's clothes, shoes, school items, toys, etc and therefore hubby's shoe collection and count isn't of high priority to me. It's quite likely that Mike had on shoes when he left that house (be it alone or unwillingly), and he did take his wallet and cellphone. Yes they've stated no use of credit cards but did he have cash? Again, he was a man with financial means, and it's likely his wallet or within his home he had a bit of cash tucked away for a cash emergency, especially if he had any suicidal forethought.

Mike was a pilot, previously I've read that those who work for airlines get free "extra seats" on flights - I'm assuming that the police surely has looked into this out of Louisvilles airport. Maybe they don't issue a standard ticket but he'd be listed on a travel manifest in the event the flight went down etc I would presume. He may have chosen an alternate location for a suicide, other than his town. In recent years it's not been uncommon for people to select venues away from their home area to end their life. Although there's only speculation as to why they chose this method, some are: anonymity (to spare family burden of knowing that they have killed themselves in attempt to protect family from knowledge/grief), protect family from discovering the body, protect family from associating an area or place with the suicide in the future, etc.). Since Mikes body hasn't been found locally, it is a possibility that he used cash to travel by taxi, bus, rail, etc to another city and committed suicide anonymously. It's not that much of a stretch to believe that if a person felt socially unable to disclose despair while living (the weakness or "less than" effect of not being able to handle life's problems) that he may want to disguise his actions in death for vanity reasons or to protect others.

Some facts on suicide: (2014 stats used)....
In the USA, 41,149 people committed suicide.
Of those, 32,055 were men.
Men are nearly 4 times as likely to successfully commit suicide as women.
37,154 that committed suicide were white.... NINE out of TEN are WHITE of those that committed suicide.
15,756 were middle aged - aged 45-64 - nearly ONE-HALF were MIDDLE AGED.

So Mike is in the HIGHEST gender, the HIGHEST race, the HIGHEST age category. It does NOT mean he has committed suicide, but if I were LE or family, I certainly would be putting high regard to the possibility that he may have went elsewhere and this may be why. I'd be looking into any unidentified bodies since he's been missing that fits his profile.

In the U.S., ONE person every 12.8 minutes dies from suicide, it's the 10th leading cause of death (homicide I'd 16th)

Suicide: risk factors (that Mike meets) - WHITE, MALE, MIDDLE AGED, FREE MOBILITY (means and ability to move about to commit the act). STRESSORS (that Mike may/may not have felt) - out of work (due to current health situation), job stress (unable to return to work due to current physical condition, unable to seek mental health assistance due to pilot status), marriage/relationship stress (alleged problems with wife and extramarital affair, possible separation, divorce, child custody). And ACUTE RISK FACTORS that Mike may/may not have felt: recent or anticipating a marital separation or divorce (alleged), feelings of being a victim or feelings of rage (possible if alleged infidelity was actually uncovered by Mike), psychological pain and/or acute distress possibly resulting in feelings of loss, rejection, and defeat (loss of marriage/family unit, rejected by wife, defeated by the boyfriend), feelings of anger (from wife's alleged actions), rage, seeking revenge, withdrawn (possibly without showing this outwardly but internalizing his emotion), hopelessness - seeing things in black/white instead of gray, having few reasons to want to continue to live (may have felt like he was losing wife and son as he was a pilot and his career would inhibit his chances of having full custody of son, thus wife would get child and he had nothing worth living for), sense of no purpose, life has lost meaning, no reason for living (not a far stretch for anyone who's anticipating a divorce and possible loss of child in life), negative or mixed emotions toward receiving mental health help (military mentality of "being strong" and fear of losing his career if he was to seek help, social views regarding men being weak and showing weakness, requesting help. Any real or anticipated event causing or threatening shame, guilt, despair, humiliation, loss of face, or status (DIVORCE/infidelity), legal problems (divorce, child custody), financial problems (divorce), feeling rejected (divorce), abandoned.


Source: http://suicidology.org (statistics) and general information is my opinion/theory of possibility ONLY as a consideration as alternate idea, taken from my years of professional experience working in social science career and my education/continuing education.




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Your post is very well thought out and very well written. Thank you!

I posted previously that my husband recently tried to commit suicide. Noone besides myself and his doctor knew that he was on anti-depressant medications. He doesn't exhibit what most people would consider depression symptoms. His depression actually was exhibited by quick anger (anger management); not physical, but verbal anger with very definite angry body language. But that was also only behind closed doors at our home. He cares more about what the neighbors think about him than he cares about what his family thinks about him.

When I told my husband that we should just proceed with a divorce, that I just couldn't be happy in our marriage, he walked out in the middle of the night. He took some pills early the next morning, but apparently not enough to kill him. The following day, he shot himself. Our neighbors were completely and utterly shocked that he did this! They couldn't believe it. Noone saw it coming! I didn't even believe that he would do this. I was shocked; however, he did. He is middle-aged, white man, home, marriage of over 20 years, kids... Not a down-on-your-luck kind of guy. He did have some of the things that KY angel has listed here though. Injury (required surgery and light-duty work), problems in marriage (no one outside of family knew this), and a family history of mental health (no one outside of family knew this).

I made the decision to seek police help in finding him when I couldn't locate him the following day; even though we had agreed to separate and he could have been just finding another place to live. I will just say that no one knows what went on behind closed doors. He may be an angel and he may have not chosen this route. Or, they may have had marital issues (because of her or because of him); and he may have either walked away or did the unthinkable. Or, she may have had enough and she may have done the unthinkable. However, I just don't think that the public knows enough to make a pure declaration in this case.

 

[AuctionGal]

Your post is very well thought out and very well written. Thank you!

I posted previously that my husband recently tried to commit suicide. Noone besides myself and his doctor knew that he was on anti-depressant medications. He doesn't exhibit what most people would consider depression symptoms. His depression actually was exhibited by quick anger (anger management); not physical, but verbal anger with very definite angry body language. But that was also only behind closed doors at our home. He cares more about what the neighbors think about him than he cares about what his family thinks about him.

When I told my husband that we should just proceed with a divorce, that I just couldn't be happy in our marriage, he walked out in the middle of the night. He took some pills early the next morning, but apparently not enough to kill him. The following day, he shot himself. Our neighbors were completely and utterly shocked that he did this! They couldn't believe it. Noone saw it coming! I didn't even believe that he would do this. I was shocked; however, he did. He is middle-aged, white man, home, marriage of over 20 years, kids... Not a down-on-your-luck kind of guy. He did have some of the things that KY angel has listed here though. Injury (required surgery and light-duty work), problems in marriage (no one outside of family knew this), and a family history of mental health (no one outside of family knew this).

I made the decision to seek police help in finding him when I couldn't locate him the following day; even though we had agreed to separate and he could have been just finding another place to live. I will just say that no one knows what went on behind closed doors. He may be an angel and he may have not chosen this route. Or, they may have had marital issues (because of her or because of him); and he may have either walked away or did the unthinkable. Or, she may have had enough and she may have done the unthinkable. However, I just don't think that the public knows enough to make a pure declaration in this case.

I agree. My late husband was the life of the party. Everyone loved him, it was standing room only at his funeral. People told me how lucky I was to have had the perfect marriage for the time that we were married. But they didn't know the truth. To this day, no one does except my parents and siblings. He was verbally abusive and controlling. He forced me to do things that I was uncomfortable with. I was only allowed to do things with my sister or with him. The outside world never got a glimpse of what really went on. I never told a single person, including my family, until after he passed. I was too scared to. So I agree, we never know what goes on, just what people wish us to see.

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[KYangel]

Your post is very well thought out and very well written. Thank you!

I posted previously that my husband recently tried to commit suicide. Noone besides myself and his doctor knew that he was on anti-depressant medications. He doesn't exhibit what most people would consider depression symptoms. His depression actually was exhibited by quick anger (anger management); not physical, but verbal anger with very definite angry body language. But that was also only behind closed doors at our home. He cares more about what the neighbors think about him than he cares about what his family thinks about him.

When I told my husband that we should just proceed with a divorce, that I just couldn't be happy in our marriage, he walked out in the middle of the night. He took some pills early the next morning, but apparently not enough to kill him. The following day, he shot himself. Our neighbors were completely and utterly shocked that he did this! They couldn't believe it. Noone saw it coming! I didn't even believe that he would do this. I was shocked; however, he did. He is middle-aged, white man, home, marriage of over 20 years, kids... Not a down-on-your-luck kind of guy. He did have some of the things that KY angel has listed here though. Injury (required surgery and light-duty work), problems in marriage (no one outside of family knew this), and a family history of mental health (no one outside of family knew this).

I made the decision to seek police help in finding him when I couldn't locate him the following day; even though we had agreed to separate and he could have been just finding another place to live. I will just say that no one knows what went on behind closed doors. He may be an angel and he may have not chosen this route. Or, they may have had marital issues (because of her or because of him); and he may have either walked away or did the unthinkable. Or, she may have had enough and she may have done the unthinkable. However, I just don't think that the public knows enough to make a pure declaration in this case.

Angkg --

Thank you for sharing your husband's eye-opening and very tragic story. I can imagine that sharing your family's deeply personal and emotional past with mental illness and the potential toxic effects is a difficult thing to do. Please know that we appreciate your candor and that hearing this may help one person, one family to possibly intervene or seek help before the consequences turn dire.

In our society today, with knowledge and means to doctors, healthcare, antibiotics, etc for the vast majority of physical illness, disease, and injury. And many of us are moderately educated on how to keep ourself physically healthy and recognize symptoms that may point the need for medical assistance.

It's sobering and quite sad that our mental health awareness in the U.S. has not been nearly as socially acceptable by the mass, awareness of when/who have signs that they need to seek help for feelings of guilt, stress, anxiety, etc, or worse. Our culture often leads us to believe that stress and anxiety and situation is an unavoidable part of live we all endure due to the demands we live with it. But our society needs to make a focused effort to help this disease to be more accepted, noticed, and treatment sought.

Once again, if even one person reads your first-hand account, and has their eyes opened that a loved one may be suffering, and is able to reach out, your share will be so worthwhile. M

I pray for you and your family, and sincerely hope that your family can build on your strength and courage!



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[michmi]

His cell phone battery was dead after a day or so, and no activity on his credit card or bank accounts.

Read more: http://www.missingveterans.com/2015/james-mike-kimsey/

No info has been released on pings, calls, messages, etc. I'm sure LE has the info, though.

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BBM That's the big issue, as everyone knows. Unless there were signs he was preparing to "walk away" the lack of activity financially does not speak to a good outcome.

When it's been this long since the initial disappearance and LE has followed what leads they have, they really have no choice but to wait for further clues or evidence. I can't imagine them continuing to search anywhere unless they received new information now.

 

[michmi]

This is very odd, and I can only relay my own experience here in Michigan - long story short I have a brother who walked off into the sunset 3 weeks ago (and left a note indicating this fact) and after waiting a couple of days for him to come back home, I put a missing persons report in.

The detective came to my house within 2 hours and searched every inch of my apartment (brother lived with me), including the crawlspaces above the closets and in the laundry room, went through every piece of paper, every item on the floor, and did the same in my room.

So for no home search to be done after a report was made is very strange to me.

(P.S. I haven't posted him on WS because we are still waiting for the financial institution his debit card is from to comply with the search warrant asking for transaction info. If he's alive I will leave it where it is and let him be "gone").

Don't want to hijack but I thought I'd let anyone wondering know that my brother came back 2 days ago thanks to a very tenacious detective with the Oakland County Sheriff's Office (Michigan). There WAS activity on his debit card which greatly narrowed down where he might be and this detective put the word out and patrolled himself to come into contact with him. He was living in the woods and without that financial activity, they would have had to drop it until something new came along.

He is back here with me and getting the help he needs, thank goodness.

 

[Rocky Road]

His cell phone battery was dead after a day or so, and no activity on his credit card or bank accounts.

Read more: http://www.missingveterans.com/2015/james-mike-kimsey/

No info has been released on pings, calls, messages, etc. I'm sure LE has the info, though.

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This information was all copied from the FB page, and came from posts there. Nothing official here.

 

[fred&edna]

I haven't checked the Facebook page, but does anyone know if a reward has been offered? I know a reward doesn't often help in the cases... but at this point... what else can be done?? Is LE authorization/approval required before a reward can be established??