I understand what you are saying and where you are comming from. To be honest if it were one of my children that did something like this I am not even sure I could face, let alone speak, to that child again. I know I probably would. I recall watching a documentary with the father and a SK. I am not sure I could do what that father did.
I do stand by my statement that it does not negate what both families are going through.
One family will be remembered for the loss of their daughter. The other family as well must face public scrutiny with respect to what their son has done. No winners here.
I certainly agree there are no winners. However, I'm not sure that what they suffer is equivalent based on how others perceive them. I don't think that's really the issue. The fact remains that the victim's family has lost a loved one forever in the most brutal way which they will forever be replaying in their mind (or at least for a very long time) whereas the perp's family can hate their child's actions but hope that he changes in jail. The difference is hope. If they're a religious family, as some posters have mentioned, they can always hope he finds God and is forgiven for what he did.