I’m not sure what the area is like, but in Toronto if you appear ‘homeless’ or in crisis, or ‘off’, you’re invisible. It’s terrible, but unfortunately true.
My friend took her life years ago. This case stays with me because her suicide notes are similar to this John Doe. I’ve read many notes after her death, I immersed myself in the topic. This is the first time I found a letter like this that is alike in many ways. (Maybe in life they were similar as well.)
I think the parents did file a missing person’s report. At that time it may have stayed in one police station and little effort was made to find him. (Maybe a repeat runaway, or he was an adult.)
He likely left a note at home that said: don’t search for me, let me go. And gave few details. Maybe a ruse: I’ve gone of to:______.
I think the parents stayed vigilant and he guessed that they would. They may have heard of his death and the note. By not stepping forward, they honoured his last wishes, and could turn away from a hotly painful reality. Possibly it was denial.
Or maybe they had reasons to stop searching and didn’t know (illness, demanding jobs, other children needing attention). Maybe at some point you have to give up in order to save yourself or your family at home.
After my friend’s death, some days I’d tell myself she was just on vacation in order to get through a long workday where grief would interfere with my state of mind and affect my job performance. (I’m at peace now with what she did, and her memory brings me joy.)
We all lose people, I imagine losing a child is the worst pain. Out of my losses my friend’s suicide took the most work for me to recover from.
I appreciate the work everyone has put into naming this John Doe. I think he should get his name back.
It's very interesting you mention the topic of suicide notes Lexi. We know he was buried and we know the cemetery, the problem is getting LE to go to his family (and we are 50% sure they are his people) and take DNA to compare with our boy. As was mentioned above, there is no crime to solve so its not a priority.
So, we do have a body and we know where it is, plus minus, and we know which family to test.
But besides that, the evidence gets scarce because we don't know where it's being kept or even if it still exists. We could not trace the sheet. The clothes we traced back to a brand name in the 70s.
And then we have the note. We don't know if it still exists. However, failing all else, I have thought about that note and what it could reveal. So I'm glad I'm not the weird one and that this is an actual topic. If you could post links to helpful forums or sites, I would be most grateful.
I have what is reprinted in this thread of his note in my notebook, so I would like to go to these forums and ask them if they can geographically place his state of origin or education based on the language he used in his note.
If he comes from Virginia Beach even probably, it would take us a step closer to saying, ok it's this guy, or it's not.
I don't know if people can do that but if you point me in the right direction, I'll try.
In answer to your speculation on homelessness, this was premeditated, not in the spur of the moment and our boy is intelligent and mature for his age. He planned this. He didn't hitch hike, he had transport. He knew where he was going (persimone tree specifically) he would have saved money for this.
I think he ran out of money, and then walked into the woods from the motel which was close by. The only question then is, why did he not take his life immediately upon arrival? Cold feet gives me 2+2=5, not in his personality, but that is just MO......... MHO
