Respectfully Quoted ynotdivein
Nutshell for me, thank you. That is and has been my bias in this case, I have always suspected what you describe as the dynamic between Cindy and Casey. It is my bias because I see my mother(and grandmother)as being this way. They IMHO, were cruel. And, if confronted(which didn't happen often)they either acted as though they did not know what you were talking about(or change the story to something new)-or say they were doing it out of "love."
But my mother did not allow us to misbehave or act out in any way. There were consequences for our actions. Casey got a narcissistic mother who also enabled her daughter's narcissism. My mother was trained to feel empathy for her mother, but not her children. My siblings and I were trained to have sympathy for everyone else but ourselves, and especially to have empathy for my mother. The empathy for everyone else was so we would be "good" people in other people's eyes, and for my mother that was how she could show what a good job she had done. Cindy liked to show a different kind of "perfection" to the world and so taught her children to wear that mask.
If I get some of Cindy's letters right, she is all like: "Casey you don't deserve to be in there, I am fighting for you and Caylee, we can get through this because we fight and you are being framed and LE isn't going to get away with this. When we do win, because you/we are so obviously the underdogs being picked on, our lives will be great because Caylee didn't die for no reason because AL can get you into her law school and JoJo has your drivers license ready for you, he kept it updated." (
severely paraphrased, of course)
Websleuthers pointed out that Cindy and George are probably trying to keep things upbeat and I can see that(plus that it is hard to write people that are in jail, what do you say?)but there is that "something else" in there that is uniquely Cindy(and George). It is exactly what was pointed out by ynot and other sleuthers in similar posts, reading between the lines are the "digs."
My mother would complain of her mother getting in her "digs" in the guise of being a "loving mother", in fact it was the bane of her existence, even after my grandmother died my mother wonders why her mother said and did the cruel things she did...and my siblings and I have the same complaint of my mother and she truly thinks we are liars or she can't understand why we would think her love is anything other than that, love.
So, I ask myself "is Cindy/crazy or just mean?" Even having the mother I did, I still don't have the answer about my mother. None of this excuses Casey, being hurt like that made me want to never hurt others in that way. I do agree that Casey hurting Caylee was to hurt Cindy, and that each has been just as mean to the other, although Cindy had to have started it(she is the mother)I think it is Casey that was set on ending it. Sometimes I see Cindy as the more "cruel" because if she is as cold hearted as her actions, then she never loved Casey or Caylee and Casey getting rid of Caylee and in turn getting rid of herself(if given the DP or LWOP) doesn't hurt Cindy at all. Especially, if she receives her "narcissistic supply" from being the grieving grandmother in her convicted daughter's size four jeans.
:twocents:
bold is mine.
ITA with your post. That one bolded part about your mother is my mother to a T. And I absolutely agree with you about Cindy. She'd rather hide her family secrets in a dark closet and make her children wear masks of perfection than teach them morals and make them face consequences. Instead, she plays harsh and cruel headgames, all the while shoving them into society as perfect people. No wonder Casey is the way she is. She learned at her mother's knee that life is what Cindy says it is, and you better stand behind no matter what anyone else says or what you know to be the truth. There's only "mistruths" and "halftruths".
These letters only worsen the suspicions I had about this family. Cindy is totally torturing Casey anyway she can, and further, I think she LIKES doing it and likes the thought of how much Casey must be tortured. It's sick that she's willing to tear down Casey like this even Casey did murder Caylee. It's like she's making sure Casey pays for taking Caylee way in every painful way possible. I think if it were up to Cindy, SHE'D be the one to put the needle in Casey's arm. She's only against the death penalty because she knows she wouldn't be in charge of it or get to carry it out.
For the first time ever, I feel a bit sympathy for Casey for growing up under a most horrific parent. If this is what it was like for Casey everyday of her life, and then to have sweet, innocent Caylee come along and be reminded everyday of how not perfect she is in comparison to Caylee, yes, I can see her snapping and thinking the only way out was to kill Caylee. Of course, she also just could have left and started over somewhere. So my sympathy stops at her ultimate choice here.
And her father and brother just bowed their hands and let Cindy do what she did everyday so they wouldn't face more of her wrath. Maybe they were glad Casey got the brunt of it, and maybe George can't understand why she'd destroy him and Lee because they literally didn't DO ANYTHING to her or for her over the years. George seems to think the LACK of action on his part exonerates him somehow. How dare Casey accuse him of DOING something when she knows he DIDN'T DO anything. Cindy's the bad one because of all of things she DID do.
Hate to tell you this, George, but not doing anything can be worse than doing something. I bet she hates you and Lee for knowing what went on in that house and not doing a damn thing to help her. No wonder she's set more on destroying the two of you than Cindy. And trying to help Casey now is just way too little, way too late.
I also think if there was abuse of any kind, it was at the hands of Cindy. Obviously there was truckload of mental abuse, and if she was anything like my mom, there was also hair pulling and slapping. I believe it also possibly went beyond that. I believe Cindy did whatever she could do to control Casey and make Casey feel worthless and unloved, all to make Cindy a perfect mother no matter what the cost. Why teach Casey morals and that there's rules to follow when it's more painful and effective to chastise her for all the things she continues to do wrong? Cindy didn't try to fix Casey because it was easier, in her mind, to control Casey by letting her be out of control and then having Cindy make her pay for it each time. "I've done nothing but be a perfect mother to you, and look what you've done!" (I can totally hear her saying that, too). It was a sick game Cindy got into and enjoyed on top of that. Add in Casey being sociopathic and narcisstic, and it's a perfect recipe for disaster once Casey decided to NOT let her mother control her and tell her what to do anymore.
It's also ironic that they're so worried about losing Casey that they are ignoring the one child that could bring them more grandchildren and happiness. If Lee is still as mad as Cindy says he was in that one letter, they aren't going to have any children left after all of this is said and done. Yet George says he will be a grandfather again.
The dysfunction of this one family is just mind blowing. I'm surprised Cindy allowed Casey to live to get into a jail cell in the first place. George and Lee just need to cut ties with her and get far away. And Cindy needs her own padded cell and straitjacket stat because the only reality she will ever believe is the one she continues to make up.
I think Casey divorced herself from this family, and has not looked back since. I think her mother's continued torturing does weigh on her (for a few minutes), but she must be happy to be surrounded by her "boys" in court, and then to get back to her "independent" jail cell and make a whole new reality Anthony free for herself. No wonder she doesn't write them or even acknowledge them. No wonder she's willing to write to complete strangers instead of her only family. She's desperately trying to make a new replacement family for herself, anything to stay away from her real parents and brother. Her sociopathic and narcisstic nature just makes this easier for her to do than for people who actually have feelings.
