SBM & BBM
First, 1Chump, I wish I had some magical way to take away your guilt; there aren't words for how painful that all sounds. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
The bolded part addresses my own question: is it even possible for the subconscious mind to reason from the person's own definition to another person's (quite different) definition?
I really, really doubt that it works that way. Anyone who wants to experiment with it, try taking one or more of the implicit association tests at:
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/
These tests measure the test taker's emotional positive or negative association with various concepts (race, fat vs thin, etc). The interesting thing is that it doesn't matter what your philosophical convictions about the issue are; it measures what your unconscious associations are. Which can be very different from your philosophical convictions.
I can think of two friends right now, one who failed a polygraph falsely and one who passed a polygraph falsely.
The friend who failed had been accused of assaulting a man in an empty residence hall corridor. No witnesses to the beginning of the incident, it was just he said, she said. A witness did hear something in the corridor and came out of his dorm room to check it out. That witness saw a small woman (my friend) literally bouncing off a wall, as if she had been shoved violently or thrown against the wall. The man claimed my friend initiated an assault and that he "pushed her away" in self defence.
The man showed the police a faint mark on his skin that he claimed came from her fingernails; she kept her fingernails extremely short because she had a job in a biology lab where contamination of cultures was always a concern. He was over 6 feet tall and weighed something like 200 pounds; she was 4 foot 10 inches tall and weighed 85 pounds. He had several previous arrests for various kinds of assault (but no convictions), she had no previous arrests at all.
The police asked each of them to take a polygraph. He passed, she failed. The police decided not to file any charges anyway because the evidence was so flimsy and the chief witness so unbelievable.
I am convinced that my friend did not suddenly assault a man over a foot taller and over 100 pounds heavier than she. She was not violent, she was very into nonviolence as a philosophy (this was the early 1980s) and my friend was not crazy.
She said the officer that administered the polygraph said he thought she failed because after the incident, she was scared and angry; she had some fantasies and vivid dreams about physically harming the man (who she claimed initiated the assault from start to finish). Just asking her about the incident was enough to trigger a visible reaction (she would flush, her pupils would contract, etc).
I have a friend who has to take periodic polygraphs as part of his job. He has passed each time, including the questions about illegal drugs (his job does not involve driving or operating heavy machinery, unless you count a calculator as heavy machinery). I know that he has an interesting life outside of work and that it includes frequent experiences with recreational substances.
And yet he passes the polygraph each time. He sincerely and honestly feels that his off work activities are none of his employer's business and that as all of his job evaluations have been outstanding, whatever he chooses to do outside of work is clearly not affecting his performance.
And my last thought is this: for thousands of years, humans have tried to understand emotional responses. Without much success but leaving a lot of great art and literature as evidence of the attempt.
I am completely unconvinced that a machine can do better in understanding emotional responses than, say, someone like William Shakespeare.