Saturday, August 30, 2008
Mercy, Compassion, Caylee AND Casey
It's been truly amazing to me that over this last month and a half this little girl, Caylee Marie Anthony, has caused such a worldwide sensation. Yes she is a beautiful little girl and an innocent that has touched our hearts. However, I believe something else is going on here. I believe God is using this story and Caylee to poke at our hearts and show us hidden things about ourselves - all of us.
Psalms 6:6 ( NKJV ) 6 I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.
Now, some may say that I am just trying to insert myself into this story or exaggerating her importance in my life. Well, you can say what you want and I know that you will but what this has done is to reveal areas to me that I kept hidden and ignored. My tears and the pain in my heart isn't just for the loss of Caylee because I haven't given up hope that she will be found. No, it's for the loss of Caylee AND Casey two years ago.
Matthew 5:7 ( NKJV ) Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy.
Oh, I can hear it now..."CASEY?!" Yes, Casey. If you know the Lord and understand spiritual things you know that Casey is a victim too. A victim of things we can see and understand and a victim of things the natural world does not know or acknowledge. This outcome of her actions was set in motion a long time ago when the obvious was ignored and opportunities to intervene were lost. Choices by Casey, those around and others who came into her life set off a chain of events that endangered Caylee from the day she was born.
Proverbs 22:6 ( NLT ) 6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Galatians 6:7-8 ( NKJV ) 7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
As I've watched this media circus and spectacle spiral out of control I've been shocked and amazed. Thousands of people worldwide have become judge, jury and executioner for Casey Anthony. I saw people arrive at the Anthony house last night to protest Casey not being in jail and for her immediate punishment for Caylee's disappearance. I have heard that there are hundreds more planning to protest on Monday in front of the house as well. What are they protesting - our judicial system of being innoncent until proven guilty and the right to a fair trial? I am so glad we do not live in the time of Frontier Justice otherwise mob rule would have allowed them to rush the house, throw a noose around her neck and hang her from the nearest tree. As the comments and accusations have flowed toward anyone and everyone on the periphery, myself and my son included, I wonder where has compassion and mercy gone in 2008?
James 2:13 ( NKJV ) 13For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
Last night I was reminded of a story I was told by a dear lady I met in 1992 in Tallahassee, Florida at my original home church. Her name was Lillian Leathers. She was a Messianic Jew who moved to Tallahassee to work with and be under the leadership of my spiritual father and mentor, Pastor Robert Shelley. Lillian was the original Diamond Lil from the early days of nightclubs in NYC and Washington D.C. in the 1960's. She later got saved and dedicated her life to the Lord as a completed Jew. While she was alive she was a regular on Jewish Voice.
One Saturday night as I sat in the Church Sanctuary to pray for the Sunday Service, Lillian came into to pray. She came to where I was sitting. She told me a story that to this day is burned into my mind and spirit. She told me how she had become deathly ill a few years before. Ill to the point there was nothing that could be done for her and she was expected to die. As the pain gripped her body lying in that hospital bed and cried out to the Lord for mercy. She told me that at that moment she heard the audible voice of God in her hospital room, "Lil, you have given no mercy when it was asked for and now can get none. Your mercy account is empty!" He flashed through her mind all of the times she had been quick to judge someone and slow to forgive. Her heart broke in repentance and all the bitterness held within her heart flowed from the tears of her eyes. The pain left her body and she quickly recovered because He gave His mercy.
It was the first time I had read James 2:13: if we offer no mercy our judgement will be without mercy. I wonder if any of those who call for the head of Casey Anthony or say, do or write the things that are being written before justice has played itself out will remember what they have said, written or done when the day comes that they need mercy. Some are confident and brazen enough to put their names to their acts by speaking to newspapers and TV reporters. When the sudden swift attack comes into their lives, their homes, their families will they remember that since they offered no mercy for Casey their account will be empty and that they will have none to draw on. I do not write this in judgement of them but sorrowful compassion because I know that it is a spiritual law that will be enforced.
Psalms 145:8-9 ( NKJV ) 8 The Lordis gracious and full of compassion, Slow to anger and great in mercy. 9 The Lordis good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works.
You see, my tears and brokenheartedness is not just because of Caylee. It's inspired by how I treated Casey, and therefore Caylee, after the break up of Casey and my son Jesse. I hope that someone who reads these blogs will allow these words to seep into their heart and their spirit to spotlight an area where they may need to repent of being less then Christlike to someone.
I am not excusing Casey nor condoning any of her actions. No I have not and will not do that. What am I doing is stating clearly for all to hear - our actions or choices are not based on what others do. Our actions and choices in every matter are based on what we do and on the grace, compassion and mercy the Lord offered us when we deserved judgement. The truth is that when it came to Casey I failed miserably as an example of the Lord. When it came to Caylee I allowed my anger and personal feelings toward Casey to hinder and box up my feelings for Caylee. I loved Casey as my future daughter-in-law and was always glad to see her and enjoyed having her and Caylee in our home. She sat at our table and did Shabbat with us. She spent Sunday's with us watching football, movies and eating dinner. We laughed together and planned many more days of the same. I allowed my personal feelings toward Casey after she did what was the only outcome for such a dysfunctional emotional make up to cheat me out of what might be my final earthly moment with Caylee last December.
The Lord has a funny way of shoving into your face an area He wants you to deal with. When we arrived for Police Academy graduation in December of 07 we parked our car, walked toward the pathway leading to the entrance and right into Casey and Caylee. It was one of those moments that you know just didn't happen on its own and there was a Divine Hand directing your path. When I saw the young woman with a stroller coming out of the shadows toward us my heart sank. I immediately thought, "Lord, what are you doing?!" Oh, I knew what He was doing. I knew it in my head but that box in my heart where I had shoved all of my pain for the loss of Casey and Caylee in our lives became too important at that moment and I blew it. Oh I was polite. I was cordial. I wasn't rude. But, I also wasn't loving, forgiving or Christlike. Later on at the Academy reception Casey brought Caylee over to where we were sitting and instead of scooping her up in my arms, remind her of who we were and loving on her I allowed the pain of seeing no recoginition in her eyes - recognition that had no business being there because she was too young to remember us - to rattle that locked area of my heart - and I missed my moment. Instead I saw Casey through hurt, betrayed eyes and instead of seeing her as the Lord would I saw her as Richard would. I said hello, tosseled her hair and turned away. I didn't want to open that box and deal with the pain I knew was there. I missed a moment to offer Casey forgiveness and to renew a relationship with Caylee. I missed moments to send Caylee gifts anyway during the last two years. Could that encounter have been a gift from above because of where we are now? I missed a gift given to me by my Heavenly Father and Lord to redeem myself, get rid of that pain and I let Them and me down.
Romans 7:24 ( NKJV ) 24O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
I want to say to everyone who wonders how Jesse could have stayed in Casey's life after how badly she betrayed and hurt him and continued to love Caylee how PROUD I AM OF HIM that he didn't follow my example. Oh, it has had a price of opening him up to conjecture and ridiculous speculation but it has the reward of knowing that at that moment when he could have offered judgement he offered compassion, love and mercy.
So, when you read of the pain I feel or see the tears that flow tonight during an interview on Geraldo Rivera on Fox at 10 p.m. know that they are from a broken heart that I had a hand in creating. Remember that as you pray for all the innocents out there who have no one to cry for them. Remember that when you pray for the grieving parents, grandparents, husband, wives, family and friends of the missing who walk by empty bedrooms and unused toys.
Psalms 126:5-6 ( NKJV ) 5 Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy. 6 He who continually goes forth weeping, Bearing seed for sowing, Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, Bringing his sheaves with him.
You see, they are having their "what if" moments too. I pray that when your time comes, if it ever does, you can be confident in knowing that your mercy account is full.
Thank you for allowing me to be transparent and share with you my feelings. I do not take that lightly nor do it for selfish gain. I truly want to spare someone my mistakes and therefore my pain. I understand that it opens me up to ridicule and mocking. But, if it saves one person from making my mistakes it will be worth it.
With His Heart,
RJ, the Sword of THE KING
