Ally:
Hi and welcome to websleuths, you could not have come to a better group than this to help you find answers!
I, too, am adopted-was adopted when I was 5. If I told the whole story of my situation, it truly would be a soap opera! I had three siblings from my natural family that I always wanted to find (did not want to find my mother and father, but have found them too) It took my 15 years to find everyone, but I did. Two of my siblings had been adopted out to other families, so there were times where I thought I would never find them, there were just so many obstacles, but fate always seemed to be on my side. I did post on several adoption search sites, and that is how one of my sisters found me, so perhaps you could start there too? One of the best sites is the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR).
One more thing I will say...My adoptive parents were not very forthcoming with information, and as a matter of fact, even though I was old enough to remember being adopted, and remembered my natural family, it was not discussed when I was growing up. I have a younger adoptive sister who did not find out until she was 12 (I am 8 yrs older) that I was adopted. When I started my search, I did not tell them. When I did finally tell them, they were angry and hurt. Now that everyone has been found, however, they have adjusted, and they realize that I would not/did not abandon them, and love them as my REAL parents. As you go through this process, be mindful of your parents fears, but also be honest with them. There is a chance that your mother IS alive, and your parents know that, but told you she was dead so you would not search. Now that you are an adult, perhaps if you have a good relationship with them, you could broach the subject again and see if they will be forthcoming with more information. They must know more than they told you before... Hang in there---there will be moments of excitement, moments of disappointment, moments where you will not understand anything that has happened. Be strong, and have someone who you know loves you (your husband) who you know will always be in your corner. I would love to help you if/when I can!