I live not too far from where DS lives and I admit to having stopped to help a stranger and driving the stranger to the gas station. My fiance offered the woman, without asking me...My mom was furious with me to which I replied that the woman seemed perfectly normal...in reality she spent her time in our vehicle on the phone with a friend and I did as well (my husband was driving), I think she was nervous like I was and we both had a friend on the line just in case but it was still stupid of me. My husband mike and I were like 22 at the time. I couldn't convince mike that he shouldn't ever do that, that he wasn't invincible and yet A few years later he saw a man walking with a gas can in hand in scorching hot temperatures and mike was by himself this time. He offered the man a ride to get gas and the guy was so appreciative that after mike refused to accept money for helping him, we discovered later that the man had thrown the $20 mike refused into the side of the passenger door lol. He took that to mean he did the right thing, I took it as he got so very lucky because plenty of so called "harmless looking soccer dads" are probably bad people but people make snap judgement, that "oh they don't look like a murderer" what the heck lol that kind of thinking leads people here
For all the good stories there's horrifying stories and I would now never ever risk such a thing. I will stop at car accidents to offer help or a phone in daylight but even that I have only done once since mike passed 11 months ago, it isn't worth the risk period. It's hard to ignore my instinct to help people. My mom is the opposite. I witnessed a terrible accident and stayed and helped and calmed the kids mom down when she arrived, I provided statements to the police and mike helped put a spare tire on the totalled car in attempts to get it out of the road.
Months later me and mike get subpoenaed to testify in court about what we saw in the accident. My husbands response was omg this is so cool we get to go to a courtroom and testify and my mom's reaction was "I hope you learned ur lesson and never do that again". Provided it's daytime and people are around and medics are being called I would still help but do you guys think that's also dangerous akin to offering a stranger a ride?
You and your husband (and I am so terribly sorry for your loss, Lia :grouphug
sound like such kind souls.
I have a soft spot especially for those who are clearly in the midst of a mental-health crisis, as I have suffered from depression and PTSD for years and been in the hospital with folks who are hearing voices, seeing things that are not there, etc. It's just very hard for me to come across these individuals and not do anything.
When I was in a college (so this happened over 20 years ago), a friend of mine and his mom stopped at a McDonald's, where they saw a woman they thought was homeless. As they approached her to give her some food and a drink, she asked them for a ride. My friend and his mom were heading in the same direction as where she said she had to go, so they gladly obliged. As soon as she got inside their car, she pulled a knife on them, demanding money. They gave her their wallets, drove another hour -at knife-point- to get to the woman's destination, where she got out of their car. They were able to make it home that night, shaken up but alive. Very, very lucky, IMO.
So I have been pretty reluctant to help strangers -whether men or women- since, but I must admit there have been a couple of occasions where I basically instinctively have done so. One time, I was at a busy truck stop, in the middle of the day, when a young man, clearly mentally ill or under the influence of drugs, asked me for directions. As soon as he asked for my cell phone, though, I gave him a few dollars and suggested he go inside and ask to use their phone. I quickly got inside my car, locked all doors and then called 911 to ask they at least go to the truck stop and check on him.
Now that I have children and have them with me almost always I am out and about, I never do this type of thing. When they were younger, they would actually tell me to stop and help whenever we would come across homeless people in downtown Chicago. I would tell them we couldn't do that and quickly walk away, feeling like I was setting a bad example for them (it's extremely important to me that they grow up to be compassionate human beings, so I would also tell them we could volunteer in a soup kitchen or make a bunch of PB & Js and hand them out when they were a bit older). Now that they are older (12 and 14), though, they don't even ask, which makes me very, very sad in a way, but at the same time, I feel that maybe this type of attitude or awareness will save them one day. Another thing I've always told them is if they get a weird vibe from someone or encounter a dangerous situation, do not to confront them (things can always be replaced) and run as fast as possible until they get to a public space, before even calling 911.
There still are times when I come across someone in need, and before even thinking of possible consequences, instinctively, my mind says, "Help them!" I've really had to train myself to stop and think first. Clearly, Danielle is exceptionally kind, and I am afraid that -as suggested by her dad- is what might have led to her demise
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