I did hesitate to mention it, due to it being such a sensitive subject. After seeing you post in various threads, I decided to go ahead and say something. I know you have so many questions and those are the hardest to deal with. At least for me, the "why?" and "what if's?" took years to get past.
If you ever just want to talk, I am here and though I do not understand what it is like to have a son missing, I do understand grieving for a son who is not coming home. Just PM message me and I'll send my email or phone number. You're right, it can help to talk about it. (((hugs)))
Tammy