I've been away for a while due to a move so have not been posting but have been reading as I've had internet access intermittently through the moves, finally got settled in. And this case has just blown me away, like a blizzard. I seriously have so much to say, it's too overwhelming, but want to vent on what I see as the central issue to this case- this is nothing new, I've seen it said here in my lurking, and I want to make it clear this is to discuss family dynamics and their impact on this case- not to BLAME anyone, or to EXCUSE any wrongdoings/crimes, or to point the finger at parenting/grandparenting. It just strikes me that in this generation there seems to be a huge cultural breakdown among families, especially mothers and daughters (and grandmothers). Does this make sense? It just seems this generation sees a lot of families that have poor dynamics that get out of control when a grandchild comes into the picture and I am thinking that will have a lot to do with this case if and when the truth comes out, if Casey ever admits what she's done truthfully and Cindy admits her own actions as well. I do NOT believe Cindy was in on what happened to Caylee, and I do believe that there is something with Casey (personality disorder?)
But jeez. Some of this hits home enough that I get a feel that both Cindy and Casey fueled these events. It doesn't make it understandable to me at all that Caylee would come to physical harm. But all I can think is how unhealthy the relationships were here, how poor Caylee was innocent in it, and how if the problems had been acknowledged or dealt with in the first place this would not have happened and that fact lies on Casey, Cindy, and everyone else who witnessed anything or was a party to it. NOT to place blame, just having a discussion.
This post will end up too long if I elaborate all here but in a nutshell it seems--
1. CA and KC had a toxic relationship.
2. KC - "it's all about me" seemed to resent her mother yet at the same time, want to be coddled and doted on
3. KC seems not to have wanted to have Caylee- it's said she wanted to let someone adopt her, but Cindy had a big role in that not happening.
4. Then when KC kept Caylee, she wanted to have a partying and irresponsible lifestyle- and CA overstepped some boundaries in the way she treated KC and took over Caylee which fueled more resentment from KC.
Etc. I am not blaming as there is no excuse for what ultimately happened. However, 2 grown adults, KC and Cindy--what's going on there, Cindy would criticise KC in front of Caylee no doubt and undermine her feelings as a parent which had to make things worse, any way you look at it, I speak from experience- there is something WAY wrong when a grandmother and mother are bickering and putting their hands on each other and fighting in front of, and over, a child. It was just a toxic relationship with overstepping of boundaries on one side, and a mother on the other end who lied and had such bad and irresponsible behavior that she didn't need to be a caretaker to a child anyway, look what happened! I have no doubt the fighting between KC and Cindy had an effect here. I want to clarify, I don't blame Cindy, I'd want to choke KC too! But all I am thinking is that the both of them for shame, it's just NOT appropriate to have this going on around a poor, defenseless, innocent, IMPRESSIONABLE child.
I hope what I'm saying makes sense.
This generation just seems to have a lot of young ladies who have kids and then end up not half raising them on their own, and so many grandparents stepping in and doing a lot of what seems to be raising their grandkids AND still raising/supervising their own 20-something adult kids too. This has got to be confusing to a child, who has a mother in her life but also has a grandmother who takes on a lot of the roles a mother would have beyond the boundary of being a grandparent, where the child witnesses the dynamic between the grandparent and their parent. Lines blur, conflict occurs......
And the bottom line is- in my opinion- poor Caylee would have been better off out of this situation, maybe in an open adoption situation where Cindy could have been in her life in a role and KC as well but there would not have been all that conflict and KC would not have been trying to party so much and burdened down by a child she wasn't taking the best care of.
Any comments? And oh yeah--not to mention Caylee growing up not knowing her father and with her father not knowing about her? With no chance to know another set of grandparents and a father figure? I'm not judging but I think poor Caylee, the ONE whose side I am on in all of this, had a tough set of cirumstances, God rest her soul. I hope this post is not seen as controversial, I am just venting my feelings about this case because it seems to me this all had a LOT to do with what ended up happening, as I think KC might have harmed Caylee out of resentment for Cindy which is not Cindy's fault but there were some issues on that end as well- the bottom line is that KC has to be mentally ill or sociopathic to have had ANY motive in hurting Caylee OR to cover up an accidental death and dump her. A normal person would not hurt someone....and would call for help if an accident happened. Again without blame, I honestly don't think anyone in this family's shown what I consider to be normal reactions here........however I do feel a lot of compassion and empathy for GA and CA and LA for having lost Caylee. KC not so much because I think it was her fault or maybe even planned.
I would probably still even feel for KC if she seemed devastated or regretful that her baby is dead, but she shows nothing.