Mothers Who Kill Their Children
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concernedperson
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I haven't posted on this thread before because I find it hard to do so.I know me as a mother and I know some of yall as mothers but I don't know all. I don't understand this need to get rid of children.Ever. Kids are the best things we do and the best things to happen to us.This business with mothers offing their kids..well it is sick. It is not natural. I went to a pet store today and was ready to adopt all and then saw different details. Not that they weren't worthy but some were sick. Is that how these mothers differentiate? Do these kids express to them less worthiness? Do they see them as not importent because their value is not worthy? Is something telling them they won't be president? I don't know....but kids are dying because someone never valued them.
I think the reasons vary, CP. Andrea Yates and Dee Laney were psyhotic, and couldn't resist the impulses. For Darlie, maybe the kids were flawed in some ways in her eyes, though I think it might have been more basic than that. Somewhere between how they interfered with her life and what keeping them meant financially. She got wrapped up in the superficialness of our materialistic world and it distorted her reality. (My amateur diagnosis here.) Susan Smith was more of a desperate woman screaming for help in a world where it was not acceptable to ask for help, I think she was literally a drowning woman that no one paid attention to and most took for granted, Add that to one being sexually abused for most of her life. She couldn't carry the load so she snapped. Debra Milke just didn't want the responsibility of a kid and $5000 looked pretty good from her low income position. Diane Downs (like Darlie, I think) thought kids were easily replaced with new births. Basically, human beings are selfish. These cases just carry our selfishness to the extreme.concernedperson said:
What I find most interesting about us is that we raise children to believe THEY are the most important things on the planet and when they grow up, no one bothers to tell them, "Well, you are not a kid anymore so you aren't important anymore. HAH!"
And we wonder why we have confused adults. Or adults who feel entitled and think the world revolves around what they want rather than what they can do for others. I am sure most of these mothers felt like they were still kids in many ways themselves, abandoned kids overwhelmed by responsibility or ambition or whatever it was that drove them to kill their own.
Don't get me wrong. THEY are responsible for their actions, regardless of the reasons that led them to their crime, but society, too, owns a small percentage of blame because in some ways we created the monsters or we created the environment for the montsters to grow in. The more materialistic our world becomes, the more monsters we will breed. I think that is just a sad fact of life.
I don't think any of these kids were killed because the mothers did not think the kids were worthy to live or that they wouldn't amount to anything anyway. I think it was not about what the kids were worth as much as what it was how the kids presented obstacles to what the mother's wanted...the boyfriend, the peace and quiet, the money, the lifestyle, etc. When it was no longer fun to be a mom, no longer convenient to deal with kids; when the kids were no longer cute when they misbehaved, when their antics were no longer funny; when they started costing too much to keep around, they became expendable. Mothers could have more kids later on when they were more into it or better established financially, etc.
I don't think it was so much how the mothers valued the kids but how the mothers valued themselves or their lifestyles, how materialistic they were, and how they were able to walk on the outer edges of reality as oppsed to the rest of us who tend to walk down the center of life trying to keep in balance. These women would usually be found on the edges, in one extreme position or another. Like the meekest or the boldest, the richest or the poorest, the prettiest or the ugliest, etc, etc. Above all, they have to be risk takers. Even if they have always lived according to the rules, something about them, even if it is in secret, is suggestive of one who takes risks. Has to be. Who could commit murder intending to get away with it, esp of your children, if you weren't a risk taker? What greater risk is there than that?
I can't say I know Darlies' motive for killing her babies, but what I can say is that whatever she was feeling or thinking that night, whether she had rowed with Darrin, or was feeling unloved, unwanted, worried about finances or whatever, she proved herself to be the definition of many things: murderer, selfish, liar, and I'm sure you'll all add to that!
Whatever her problems were that night, they could have been resolved, if it was financial she could have downsized her house, if it was Darrin, she could have kicked him to the kerb, life does go on after divorce! Killing her children was NOT the answer as we all know, but her materialistic and selfish nature told her otherwise.......
As a mother myself I am a firm believer of 'my children come first', whether this is everyone elses opinion or not, that is the way I am, I say this becase I have a friend who disagrees with me.
I was once in a position between my marriages whereby it was very hard to 'make ends meet', lying awake at night worrying where the next meal was coming come from. But..... what I am saying is my first and foremost priority was always my children as I am sure it would be the same with you all.
As down as I was at times, it never ever entered my head to harm my children to get out of the rut I was in, quite the opposite; I put myself last, after the children. There must be thousands of Mums out there who have been in a 'not so comfortable position' and I'll bet killing their babies never entered their heads.
In fact my husband has a saying about me; 'Kick the kids and Tracey limps'
For as long as I live I could never ever comprehend a mother who could harm a hair on her childrens head, never mind kill them. I know this does happen where the Mum is mentally ill, but Darlie hasn't been diagnosed as mentally ill has she?
I am sorry if this sounded like a bit of a biography but today I am feeling really angry with Darlie and wish I could visit her and tell her what I think!! There...... I've finished now!!
Whatever her problems were that night, they could have been resolved, if it was financial she could have downsized her house, if it was Darrin, she could have kicked him to the kerb, life does go on after divorce! Killing her children was NOT the answer as we all know, but her materialistic and selfish nature told her otherwise.......
As a mother myself I am a firm believer of 'my children come first', whether this is everyone elses opinion or not, that is the way I am, I say this becase I have a friend who disagrees with me.
I was once in a position between my marriages whereby it was very hard to 'make ends meet', lying awake at night worrying where the next meal was coming come from. But..... what I am saying is my first and foremost priority was always my children as I am sure it would be the same with you all.
As down as I was at times, it never ever entered my head to harm my children to get out of the rut I was in, quite the opposite; I put myself last, after the children. There must be thousands of Mums out there who have been in a 'not so comfortable position' and I'll bet killing their babies never entered their heads.
In fact my husband has a saying about me; 'Kick the kids and Tracey limps'
For as long as I live I could never ever comprehend a mother who could harm a hair on her childrens head, never mind kill them. I know this does happen where the Mum is mentally ill, but Darlie hasn't been diagnosed as mentally ill has she?
I am sorry if this sounded like a bit of a biography but today I am feeling really angry with Darlie and wish I could visit her and tell her what I think!! There...... I've finished now!!
Jeana (DP)
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All of us who have followed this case have had those same thoughts. I thinkk mental illness does play a part in many cases where the parent murders a child, but evil is all that was involved here. Evil and pure selfishness.
texassnuboots
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Excellent post. However, you sound unselfish and sane. I don't think Darlie had those qualities. She put herself first always. JMOTracey Duffield said:
You mentioned down sizing the house. First of all, it wasn't that big. Second, the house was fairly cheap. Nice houses are a dime a dozen here in Texas. I think it was something to do with Darin. To get even??....for what I don't know. Maybe she was jealous of the attention fathers show their sons. (I am just throwing stuff out here.) Maybe JDP has hit the nail on the head. Maybe she is just a few fries short of a happy meal. However, I don't think she was going to kick Darin anywhere. She needed him because it appears he worshiped her. He thought the moon and stars were here for her pleasure. Nope....he wasn't going to go anywhere. Those two did those kids. Plain and simple. I think we here at WS have a hard time figuring them out because we all try to think like NORMAL people. We try to put ourselves in her place and think...now why would I have done that if I were her....or what would ever make me do such a thing? And there lies the problem! None of us would do such a horrible thing....heck, I don't even think such a thing would EVER CROSS OUR MINDS. That is why I believe we are always :waitasec: left with the...what the H*LL really went on in that house?Tracey Duffield said:
beesy
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It's a quote from Pirates of the Carribean. Capt. Jack Sparrow says it(Johnny Deppdeandaniellws said:
Materialistic people go for the short term high. Maybe it is as simple as Darlie and maybe Darin too thinking the $10,000 of insurance money could be juggled around to finance their summer plans. I have often thought they thought they could capitalize on the deaths for a long term financial boost, but maybe it was just the opposite. Maybe the goal was simply to cover summer expenses with the insurance money and by time on paying the funeral expenses. Or maybe they thought people would feel so sorry for them, they would donate a bunch of money and they'd end up with enough to do both...bury the kids and cover summer fun. <chills> Surely they weren't that shortsighted, but then again maybe they were. <ponder, ponder> However, there was enough evidence of mental problems for it to be just a coincidence. I do tend to agree with you though that the two parents "did the kids." I think the motive is wrapped all around money. We just have to figure out from what angle.deandaniellws said:You mentioned down sizing the house. First of all, it wasn't that big. Second, the house was fairly cheap. Nice houses are a dime a dozen here in Texas. I think it was something to do with Darin. To get even??....for what I don't know. Maybe she was jealous of the attention fathers show their sons. (I am just throwing stuff out here.) Maybe JDP has hit the nail on the head. Maybe she is just a few fries short of a happy meal. However, I don't think she was going to kick Darin anywhere. She needed him because it appears he worshiped her. He thought the moon and stars were here for her pleasure. Nope....he wasn't going to go anywhere. Those two did those kids. Plain and simple. I think we here at WS have a hard time figuring them out because we all try to think like NORMAL people. We try to put ourselves in her place and think...now why would I have done that if I were her....or what would ever make me do such a thing? And there lies the problem! None of us would do such a horrible thing....heck, I don't even think such a thing would EVER CROSS OUR MINDS. That is why I believe we are always :waitasec: left with the...what the H*LL really went on in that house?
texassnuboots
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So it was easier to kill the kids than to pawn some of that jewelry or sell the jag (which I'm not sure if it was in need of repair). You know, there was just so much overkill in the boys deaths that it somehow doesn't seem to fit with a murder for financial gain. Then again......Goody said:
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The Jag WAS in the shop and Darlie's jewelry was not worth THAT much money. I think Goody is oversimplifying it. Darlie's lifestyle was very important to her. They had just been turned down for a very small loan of only $5,000. Did you know money problems are the 2nd leading cause of divorce in the US? Couples blame each other. It makes for some nasty fighting. Been there, done that. Not divorce, but fighting about money. The Routiers' cash flow was dropping and dropping. With all of the other things we've talked about that Darlie had going on, her perception of the money issue was skewed I think. Money didn't make her freak out just that one night. It had been on her mind for a long time. If money were the ONLY reason, they'd have bought more life insurance for the boys or she might have tried to kill Darin. But I think it put her in a certain state of mind. People are killed for money all the time. It makes no sense at all, but it happens. I think money was the base for her anger. Darlie also liked to party and was being dragged down by these boys who were becoming rowdier as they grew up. Something made her snap that night. She went from worrying about her lifestyle, annoyed with the boys, her brain being messed up from the diet pills, etc to a killer. I think the argument with Darin did it, made her cross that line.texassnuboots said: