Yes I’m very confused about this. There is a huge difference between being non verbal and not talking to strangers. Like HUGE. As I mentioned pages back, my aspen is non verbal. There are no words. He does hum, cry, laugh. If he were in danger though, he would not know the appropriate response. So who said non verbal?
Second, the no food or drinks for days. This is very typical of ASD kids. Aspen takes a special medicine at night to increase appetite. He would go hours and hours not eating but we encourage eating and he will usually eat something after a little while. I find it concerning they’d let Maddox go days bc most autistic kids are super picky. They don’t get all the veggies and fruits neurotypical kids get. So you can’t let them go for days!
Lastly, I’m not saying the parents did it. I can say though, I could see it. I love my boy. With all my heart. He’s in diapers and I’ll wipe him til the day I die and feed him each piece of cereal like I do every night. But there are days, oh are there days. There are days where I ask what kind of life we are living? What kind of life is aspen living? Am I making him suffer when he screams and hits me and himself bc he’s so upset? I’ve has suicidal thoughts - that we’d be better off bc this isn’t a life for us. Some days we can’t enjoy anything bc of his tantrums. I’m not saying the parents did it but I could see it.
I am so sorry to hear of your pain. I have several friends and a family member with an autistic child, and I know they can all relate to how you feel. It is challenging and emotionally and physically exhausting. One of my friends was so shocked that her son loved not only coming to my house and loved playing with my kids, but that when she went to the store or ran an errand of two, he was wonderful at my house. Unfortunately, he was not comfortable with anyone else, and she has a loving and caring family and other friends who tried to help give her a break, but they would frantically call her and tell her he was having a rough time, screaming, crying, rocking back and forth, and in a couple of instances, he kept trying to get out of their homes to try and find his mother. She was just so grateful and relieved for that few minutes of time alone, and one time she stayed out and got her hair done and a ran a few other errands, calling me inbetween to make sure everything was ok, and she just couldn't get over how he was happy and content. I've had this with several autistic children that have come in my home, however, I had one slight advantage over the other family members and friends- because of my schooling and field placements working with children from autism (Mental Health) I learned to gently gain the trust of these children by simply letting them be, when they were around me. Some would sit on my lap, while some stayed away, but after several visits, they grew comfortable with me. I would tell my friends, after we brought all of our children outside to play, to go and grab a coffee in the house for a few minutes. Sometimes, the child was fine, others, it took a few tries before they were comfortable to stay outside with me. It takes a lot of love, patience, and understanding.
Autistic children have their own routines and sets of likes and dislikes. They will only eat a certain food- such as Honey Nut Cheerios- so one of my friends had to stock up and keep it in the house, and believe me, her son knew when she tried to serve him the store version because they were out of his regular cereal, and he screamed and threw the box and bowl across the room. This is so so hard for parents to live with daily, and while you learn what triggers some of their tantrums, there are days when something new will trigger one and it dumbfounds the parents, as they may not know what upset them in the store or at the park, as nothing seems obvious to the parent. One of my friends used to have to sit down on the floor in the middle of the floor with her son while he rocked back and forth, humming, until he was ready to get up. People made some rude comments to her, but she ignored them and took care of her son.
My heart aches for all of your loving and wonderful parents- it is so hard to see how you really have no lives at all, and it is even harder when there are other children in the house hold who don't understand why you can't go to the lake that day or why you have to leave the playground just as you got there. This is why I feel that there needs to be more help from the community and medical profession- parents need a break, and they also need a vacation, even if it's just three or four days, to recharge their own batteries. It's also hard when your handsome autistic son ends up taller and more muscular than you, and you have no choice but to put him in a home because physically, you can't handle him anymore, for your own safety- one of my family members and another friend went through such an excruciating decision to put their sons in homes with 24 hour care because they just couldn't do it anymore. The poor mothers feel so guilty, like they let down their sons, when they did every thing that they could to give them a happy, healthy, safe and loving environment.