Found Deceased NC - Mariah Woods, 3, Onslow County, 27 Nov 2017 #3

[borndem]

While this can certainly be cathartic and help a person feel empowered again after abuse, the best therapy for past abuse (of which I am a victim, though not abuse by parents.) is Forgiveness Therapy.

Oftentimes people who have been severely hurt desire revenge and yet that does not heal the wounds, it just satisfies the urge to "get even". In children, having them act out what was done to them by using an object to beat, can help them feel powerful instead of powerless. Forgiveness helps actual healing begin. The hardest part of the healing is forgiving oneself. Those who have been abused often feel they somehow deserved it for "being bad" when the fault is entirely on the abuser. Freeing oneself of the guilt and shame is the first step. Forgiving the abuser is never FOR the abuser. Forgiveness does not absolve or condone the abuser's actions. Forgiveness heals the forgiver. It frees the abused from any residual ties and allows the person to feel free of the abuser.
I was held against my will in a small apartment and beaten as a young woman. I was also raped by someone I worked with also as a young woman.The hardest thing I ever did was to face my abuser and say "I forgive you. I will never forget or approve of what you did, but I forgive you." It was so hard I was shaking and wanted to throw up but afterwards I felt peace for the first time.

JMO as a past victim (survivor) and a Psychologist whose focus is Forgiveness Therapy.

Very fine post -- I am thankful to say that I have never been abused, but Forgiveness Therapy makes a lot of sense. I've read many accounts where the abused essentially blames herself (himself) for the abuse -- dinner was too late, the house was a mess, I forgot to pick up the laundry, etc. -- but the abused needs to let go of self-blame, and I can understand why it is so freeing. And I'm sure it's a hard thing to do.

Thanks for presenting it. And yes, this mother in this case may indeed need it, if that's what we're dealing with here -- and that car window biznezz surely makes it sound very possible.

 

[kkdj]

I'm 100% positive they have spoken to the RSO's in the area, don;'t you think they would be the first people they would go talk too?

I'm not 100% positive. But more than likely and since there was an AA I would say they did.

 

[BlinkOfAnI]

This makes me wonder if he was abusing everyone in the house.

Just to add, the bio father had an interview with NG and stated the reason CPS had taken the children and given them to him was because the BF beat his son with a belt and the mother and BF tried to cover it up by saying he fell out of a bunkbed. Link is in this thread somewhere.

 

[kkdj]

Questions about Ambert Alerts:
1. I thought they had to have a description of a vehicle the child was taken in. Is this not true for every state?
2. Is an Amber Alert always with the assumption we are looking for a living person or can they issue one a presumed deceased person?

 

[margarita25]

I'm pretty sure it has not been reported whether they did or didn't. I have also followed this case since the beginning and I have a fairly good memory for details. I think you are right, they started with the house, the car, then started searching the woods and creeks, etc. There has been no reporting regarding RSO's.

Again, this would be standard procedure, even if not confirmed via news reports, moo.

 

[margarita25]

I don't know why, and I pray I'm wrong, but I have this nagging feeling that one, the FBI is going to start winding down searches and two, this case is gonna go in the "what the hell happened?" file. It's been nearly a week and they haven't found any trace of her. I dunno, maybe I'm just overloaded on this story and my frustration in getting an answer is coming out as "we'll never find her."

(It happens, no doubt, sad to say...)

 

[keeleydoll]

Questions about Ambert Alerts:
1. I thought they had to have a description of a vehicle the child was taken in. Is this not true for every state?
2. Is an Amber Alert always with the assumption we are looking for a living person or can they issue one a presumed deceased person?

https://www.ncdps.gov/Our-Organizat...ghway-Patrol/Amber-Alert/Amber-Alert-Criteria

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[Tippy Lynn]

I can only speak from my experience. My son, a combat vet died tragically in 2010. By todays standards (I won't go into specifics) the person partially responsible would have been charged. An hour after I had walked into the funeral home and seen my son lying there, there was a scurrying of people upset and talking. I went to see what was wrong. The person partially responsible was seen sitting in the parking lot. Everyones motions were very high and angry. I have always believed in forgiveness and the personal burden it would be to for me not forgive. I had enough of a burden at the time without adding unforgiveness to it. I walked to the parking lot and to the persons car. He looked frightened. He admitted what happened and with tears in his eyes he apologized. I took his hand and walked with him into the funeral home so he could have whatever peace he could find. I am so grateful that all of that happened. I personally believe it was something greater then myself that allowed that to happen. Forgiveness frees a person. Wisdom gives you the understanding to avoid it happening again. I don't judge anyone for how they handle tragedy. Just wanted to share how I handled a part of mine.

The world needs more people like you! So sorry for your loss.


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[Wyle_E_Coyote]

My husband is a long haul truck driver..Whenever he passes an area like that he will usually comment on just how easy it could be to hide someone..

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Lol... if he ever suggests that you two go for a hike somewhere... don't go! [emoji33]

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[Tortoise]

What's the situation with regard to road traffic cameras? Do they have number plate recognition?

 

[borndem]

I'm so sorry for your experience and am glad forgiveness helped you.
please don't encourage forgiveness as a therapy for abuse victims. it is totally up to the victim if they can or want to forgive eventually, but it is not a first line of therapy and can do more damage than good in the beginning, unless it is self-forgiveness. the focus should be on the victim entirely. holding the abuser responsible in some way is also necessary. forgiving the abuser can lead to the victim returning to the abuser and can be dangerous. I know this isn't the forum for this discussion but please be careful. a victim should never feel they need to forgive their abuser. a victim of abuse often does not have the autonomy to make those decisions.
I understand how it can help in some circumstances and some consciousnesses, but it is not often appropriate depending on the victim's mental state and emotional disposition.
Your experience is horrific but different than long term, persistent abuse. it changes the brain in ways that are not understood unless you live it. if you have a stable mental state and undergo one experience, you are more able to recover and forgive potentially. repeated, continuous abuse is a whole different thing.

I interpreted Forgiveness Therapy (and I certainly could be mistaken) as the act of the abused person forgiving herself (let's assume the abused was a female) for what her abuser said she had done/said/not done. For her to realize that it wasn't her own self who was doing the wrong things, but the abuser. A big help in her becoming whole again and restoring her faith in her actions & judgements. But I could have misunderstood the aim of the therapy. JMO.

To hell with forgiving the abuser. (He) doesn't deserve another thought. JMO.

 

[Tainted Angel]

B

I have sometime tomorrow.. Give me some parameters.

1. How far back do we go
2. A list of cases to start
3. Will age matter?
4. Gender or child or prep?

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A few other cases I remember were Shaniya Davis (also North Carolina), Somer Thompson (Florida) and Hailey Dunn (Texas) where they were eventually found.

Unfortunately, this case reminds me so much of little Haleigh Cummings, who sadly, was never found. She suffered from Turner's Syndrome if I remember correctly.

I'm still praying that LE gets the one break they need to lead them to Mariah.

 

[MzOpinion8d]

I have sometime tomorrow.. Give me some parameters.

1. How far back do we go
2. A list of cases to start
3. Will age matter?
4. Gender or child or prep?

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Whether CPS had been involved.

 

[MzOpinion8d]

That's what I thought! it seemed they were focused on all those things and like you said then they moved to the woods, water etc. Also today was the first day since she's gone missing that they searched landfills. That is another thing you think they would have done right off.

They went through 95,000 lbs of trash by hand in only one day?!

 

[keeleydoll]

B

A few other cases I remember were Shaniya Davis (also North Carolina), Somer Thompson (Florida) and Hailey Dunn (Texas) where they were eventually found.

Unfortunately, this case reminds me so much of little Haleigh Cummings, who sadly, was never found. She suffered from Turner's Syndrome if I remember correctly.

I'm still praying that LE gets the one break they need to lead them to Mariah.

One of the first babysitting jobs I ever was a boy with Turner’s Syndrome and his big sister, I had experience as a volunteer in his classroom and had lengthy conversations with his mother. She didn’t tell me he was a wanderer and when we were playing a game he said he needed to potty and left for the bathroom literally 3’ from the open door of the room we were in. 2 minutes later I listened at the door and didn’t hear anything, opened it and he wasn’t there! I was terrified! I really haven’t been that frightened but a couple of times in my life. I found him in the fenced back yard watching whatever was happening in the neighbors yard. He tried twice more to get out while I was there that day. I told his mom when she got home and she just waived it off and laughed that she’d forgotten to tell me about that part.


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[margarita25]

At one point the sheriff’s department was asking on their FB page for anyone to come forward who had seen the (very distinctive) family van after midnight (?) or late Sunday very early Monday. IIRC they eventually removed the post. Someone may well have come forward with info.


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(Reminds me of Sherin's case, when they asked the same thing, have you seen this vehicle during this time frame...the vehicle had been seeing leaving on a neighbors surveillance camera...)

 

[bestill]

I hope this case doesn't turn out to be like Heather Elvis, still missing and those that know what happened and have been charged with her kidnapping haven't caved and she's been gone since December 2013.

 

[Miss Magnolia]

(Snipped for focus)


We have a neighbor who works an overnight shift and he used to let us know when he would notice cars slowly driving our street during the 3-4am range. Another neighbor is an insomniac and he would also let us know if he saw anything out of the ordinary. Our bedroom is at the rear of the house and we wouldn’t have heard anything out front. Other people up at that time - new moms!!!

I wonder if the witness knew who the person was and maybe that didn’t make it to MSM?

Both hubby and I are retired seniors, home during the day, learning to nap in the afternoon, which is difficult, and up and down during the night. I live on a corner and four of my neighbors are now widows, I have their phone numbers and they have mine. We all look out for each other and if I happen to see something out of the ordinary, I will call them or one of their children. Would have never bothered to do this as a younger person. We are all vulnerable.

 

[emilybobemily]

I’m not surprised by the denial of records. I stand by what I said earlier: this is being handled by the feds and we won’t see or hear anything until they have an air tight case. The sheriff himself alluded to this in yesterday’s press conference. IMO they have a good idea of what happened to Mariah, but need solid evidence.


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Agreed.

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[margarita25]

Started with the LE thanking everyone.

FBI speaking now. Talking about sonar, landfill, 95,000 pounds of trash by hand!


Items found by volunteers tagged, but don’t appear to be related.

Now questions:

I can’t type fast enough.
Summary-
-Items being tested are still in process
-Cadaver dogs still being used. Didn’t answer if they hit on anything.
-Family is cooperating.
- military been very supportive
-talking about team Adam searches needed for a larger area
- follow all leads even on other states when asked about Kentucky
-community searches: will assess what happened today and get a better understanding about what they need
-

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Bringing this forward, thanks.