moonlessnight
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2017
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We can sleuth KW but that doesn't mean we should victim blame women in general, or abuse victims in general. We do not know that KW was abused, but we know that EK is an abuser of the worst kind. Abuse begets abuse in general. Genetics and a whole host of other aspects of development can also turn someone into an abuser. EK appears to be a complete and total sociopath, possibly psychopath. KW also appears to have some personality dysfunction and is by no means innocent, IMO. Your post can be directed at KW, but please not at all women who have been victims of abuse, whether they perpetuated or allowed abuse or not. Women who have engaged in criminal acts against their children can surely be blamed, even if they were victims of abuse themselves. But not all women who have been victims of abuse who were not able to protect their children. Trauma among the major causes of violence and abuse, particularly among women. Borderline PD is now seen as a trauma and stress related disorder, and they can be violent and abusive. Ending the cycle of abuse is one of the ways to stop these crimes. Your post belies a lack of understanding of the nature of abuse and its effects, and also belies great privilege. Women (and their children) are more likely to be killed when they leave a relationship than at any other time.
Now that discussion is allowed of the woman who gave birth to Mariah. I hope it is ok to post this
There is no name-calling, etc...just sincere concerns.
If, as it appears, Earl is responsible for Mariah's death, that certainly does not mean he is the only one responsible.
Turning a blind eye, in the fact of danger, certainly makes one complicit.
If I were to walk to a busy intersection with a 3-yr old, then turn loose of her hand and set her loose into the traffic, chances are she would be hit and killed by a vehicle. The person driving the vehicle would have killed her, BUT I would be also responsible for having her in that foolishly dangerous position in the first place. If I let my 3-yr old play in a cage with a tiger, and the tiger eats her, the tiger is responsible killing her, but I allowed it. If I let my 3 yr old outside to play in a storm, and she is struck by lightning, and she dies...the bolt of electricity is what killed her, but I allowed it
If I bring my child around an angry, violent person, and that person kills her, he/she murdered her, but I allowed it.
NOW, there have been children who crossed busy streets without getting hit...there have been children in cages with animals who were not eaten....there have been people caught in lightning storms who did not perish....but any reasonable caring parent would not risk those odds.
I am so tired of people who get so bent on advocating for women in abusive situations with their children, they fail to advocate for other victims. It makes all of womanhood look bad, by implying we do NOT have a choice. Living with an abuser, and forcing your children to be there as well, is not a one time mistake such as a traffic accident or accidental drowning. It is REPEATEDLY making a selfish choice. It is the equivalent of getting up every day and making the choice to allow your child to live in risk.
We should be better than that. We as women, do not HAVE to live in situations like that, and especially when it is with a man who has NO legal right to be around our child. When a woman gets up and walks away from her husband and her children's father, and makes a choice to start a life with a violent abuser, it is very, very difficult for me to feel anything but disgust. There is no valid excuse for it. Send the children elsewhere.
We ladies are smarter than people think, stronger than people think, and have more critical thinking skills than people think. So when others (sadly often other women) put forth a narrative that we are weak, spineless, brainless victims, it does not set well with me. Although some women live that way, it does not make it normal, nor excusable.
GET OUT! Put your children first...that is what good mothers do. You don't have to live on the "right" side of town, or be highly educated, or have all the privileges of life. It does not take a doctorate degree to show some protective motherly instinct. For goodness' sakes, even wild animals have a protective instinct towards their offspring.
Ladies....do what is right. There is no "relationship"...if you even want to call it that, worth forever losing your children for. Step up! Prove to the world that we can think for ourselves and make mature choices.
I am so angry right now, at abusers and enablers. They all share guilt when a child is harmed.