Deceased/Not Found NJ - Sarah Stern, 19, Neptune City, 2 Dec 2016 *Arrests* #1

[woolridge]

*All of this is my opinion and comes from my limited knowledge of crime*
*Also, I mean no disrespect to those missing Sarah.*

First off, regardless of any mental/emotional/familial/etc. struggles Sarah could have been dealing with, nothing on her social media pages seems to indicate suicidal or runaway thoughts or intentions. Obviously, this isn't really a good judge on her mental state, as she may never have posted anything related to her thoughts or feelings regarding these things, but she seemed quite happy and optimistic. I know she was part of several very supportive communities (some of which I am also a part of), and she seemed very interested in those, and generally okay. While it is possible, at this time, I don't believe Sarah committed suicide or left voluntarily.
As much as I would like to believe otherwise, the story so far leads me to suspect an abduction. I cannot say whether I think she was taken on the bridge or elsewhere, like her home. If the bridge was busy at the time of an abduction, wouldn't somebody have seen something? Then again, she could have been taken in a more covert way, or maybe there was nobody around at the time.
In child murder-abductions, I believe that around 74% of children kidnapped are murdered within the first three hours (please correct me if I'm wrong). I assume the statistics for adult murder-abduction are different and if anyone knows about it, please tell me. Anyway, I think it is a general rule of thumb with abductions that the longer the victim in missing, the chance of said abduction becoming an abduction-murder grows (again, please correct me if I'm wrong). Sarah has been missing for almost a month now, and I'm afraid the possibility of her returning alive is growing smaller every day. I believe that if she was abducted by someone she knows, or who knows her, the chances of her being alive are higher than if she was taken by a stranger. Although stranger abductions are comparatively rare, they aren't impossible, and the fact that she has been missing for this amount of time without any sound or contact mades me think she was taken by someone she didn't know.
I hate to think this, but it's also possible there is a serial killer (or someone with a serial killer mentality, they might not have the numbers to match it) behind Sarah's disappearance, but I have no information to back this up. Does anyone know of any more recent similar missing persons cases in this area or extended area?

 

[Dr.Strangelove]

I don't want to come off rude PR anything, but why is it that everyone seems to be so against the idea it was just simply a suicide? There is no evidence to indicate she was abducted, and statistically suicide is much much more common then being abducted.

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[monkeypants]

I don't want to come off rude PR anything, but why is it that everyone seems to be so against the idea it was just simply a suicide? There is no evidence to indicate she was abducted, and statistically suicide is much much more common then being abducted.

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Because she didn't leak depression anywhere in sm, to family, to friends. She was making future plans in a move to Canada, she was working on a great show that she was excited about, she belonged to close communities, she left the door unlocked and the dog alone with no one returning to the home. There just isn't clear suicide ...it's not impossible, but abduction seems more likely.

 

[Mica]

I'm bumping this comment again from the author of the FB page, Praying for Sarah Lee Stern. The comment leads me to believe he/she knows a reason why Sarah might have fled. I hope this person was questioned by the authorities.


"I pray that this was your choice to leave and I want you to know that if it was, I understand why."

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=674613792707074&id=673236676178119

 

[Tabirey]

Unfortunately, I have to say I'm leaning towards suicide in this case. I hope I'm wrong and she has left voluntarily, but I have to go with my gut feeling on this one. Although she didn't seem suicidal by plans she had made, etc. I know that many suicidal people will not let slip what they plan. My late mother in law made plans to go shopping with a friend for thanksgiving dinner, she had a brand new baby granddaughter that was named after her, she was dating a very nice guy who thought she was the sun and moon and only lived a block away from us. We had dinner together that night and she was in good spirits. We were talking about our up coming plans for the holidays and how her granddaughter was now a month old. We found her gone of an overdose the next morning. She left little notes to all her children and grandchildren.
So for Sarah to have made goals and plans, to me that just says diversion. ..trying to appear "normal " .
JMO, etc. I sincerely hope I am wrong and Sarah is found safe.

 

[Dr.Strangelove]

Because she didn't leak depression anywhere in sm, to family, to friends. She was making future plans in a move to Canada, she was working on a great show that she was excited about, she belonged to close communities, she left the door unlocked and the dog alone with no one returning to the home. There just isn't clear suicide ...it's not impossible, but abduction seems more likely.

But how is it more likely? I guess I'm just not seeing it, is all. Abduction is incredibly uncommon. Suicide is very common, especially around the holidays and among people in the LGBT communities. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I guess I'm just trying to see things from another prospective

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[elmomom]

But how is it more likely? I guess I'm just not seeing it, is all. Abduction is incredibly uncommon. Suicide is very common, especially around the holidays and among people in the LGBT communities. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I guess I'm just trying to see things from another prospective

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Having been on this site for a number of years, I can tell you that no matter how likely suicide is, many members will not consider it until every option is completely disproven. Some will even question it after the official report is made!
It has a lot to do with the poster's personal views of suicide. I think people who have considered suicide or have known someone who has taken their own life do tend to be more open to the idea than others. It is all generalizing, however, I don't mean to speak directly about any poster.

 

[DetectiveChilds]

I wonder what her relationship with her family is like? Sarah is LGBTQ - does her family accept and support her? She came home from Florida before her father, was there drama with her family at Thanksgiving? Was dad due to come home soon and she didn't want to face him? Purely speculation on my part, I haven't heard anything to indicate her family was anything but loving and accepting of her, but that would be the best case scenario I can think of for her disappearance. I'm very worried about her. It's Christmas and she's still missing.

On the LGBTQ/Family part--yes. They all love and accept her 100% and they all have from day one. So I doubt it would play a role but you never know


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[woolridge]

But how is it more likely? I guess I'm just not seeing it, is all. Abduction is incredibly uncommon. Suicide is very common, especially around the holidays and among people in the LGBT communities. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I guess I'm just trying to see things from another prospective

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I guess the reason many are leaning more towards abduction or even her leaving voluntarily (not suicide), is that to some, it almost seems more acceptable for her to have been taken or to have left of her own will than to have committed suicide. As I'm sure you know, suicide is an extremely taboo and dividing topic, and for many people, its easier to think that she didn't have any intention of suicide than if she did. I'm not saying suicide is evil or that it would have been better for her to have been taken at all. Whether Sarah was taken or she took her own life, it is still a tragic and heartbreaking situation that has caused those who know and love her a lot of grief. Like another poster said, people's opinions on the case have a lot to do with their own values and opinions, and sometimes its easier for people to accept a less likely option than one that makes them uncomfortable.

 

[Dr.Strangelove]

I guess the reason many are leaning more towards abduction or even her leaving voluntarily (not suicide), is that to some, it almost seems more acceptable for her to have been taken or to have left of her own will than to have committed suicide. As I'm sure you know, suicide is an extremely taboo and dividing topic, and for many people, its easier to think that she didn't have any intention of suicide than if she did. I'm not saying suicide is evil or that it would have been better for her to have been taken at all. Whether Sarah was taken or she took he down life, it is still a tragic and heartbreaking situation that has caused those who know and love her a lot of grief. Like another poster said, people's opinions on the case have a lot to do with their own values and opinions, and sometimes its easier for people to accept a less likely option than one that makes them uncomfortable.

That makes sense. Same with the other poster. I guess I just see it differently, and that might explain why I find it so odd that so many people are against the possibility. I personally would find comfort in the thought that she chose her fate. But I am coming from a pretty dark place right now and I can see why people would prefer it to be other things

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[woolridge]

I personally would find comfort in the thought that she chose her fate.

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I understand that, and in a way I agree with you. However, it also brings up the fact that she was unhappy (for lack of a better term) enough during her life to commit suicide, which is again very heartbreaking. One of my cousins committed suicide, and although it wasn't a total surprise, it was still very difficult for my family to understand why she took her life, and there has been a lot of speculation as to how we could have prevented it. Maybe it's made worse by the fact that Sarah is so young, and she has many prospects and abilities, but if she was struggling, that might not have mattered much to her.

 

[NewMama]

I have followed many cases and there are several I've seen where the family goes silent (media-wise) after initial searches where the missing person did indeed take their own life. Lindsey Piccone is the most recent that comes to mind.
I haven't seen anything lately from the family or LE.
I'm still hoping for the best - that she just needed a break.

 

[ohmslaw1969]

I had noted in an earlier text how she stated on SM that due to the election she would be leaving sooner then she thought, and how it was causing duress. My comment was removed by a moderator telling me to keep politics out this forum. Unfortunately, the moderator was the only person playing politics. There have been numerous LGBT suicides due to the election this year and I find it to be a valid peice of evidence that there could be a chance of suicide. There was also many recent pictures of heavy alcohol consumption which causes depression and could elevate thoughts of suicide. Once again just an assumption based off what little evidence is avalable. As someone who's had friends and family commit suicide without any warning signs I understand there doesn't have to be any signs at all. On the other hand no information released in over a month would make me think LE is aware of a possible suspect or motive and is shelving that evidence hoping to not spook a suspect, or there is evidence pointing to a jumper scenario. Either way it is incredibly tragic to know so many young people go missing without a trace in our country, either by choice, or not, and I understand the pain of hopelessness personally from having experience both situations.

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[Dylgem22]

I feel like it is a suicide .. don't know why .. after reading thru this site, I tend to always think of the two worst things first .. murder/abduction and suicide .. to me, the car being found on a bridge is what points me to this thought .. but that is just me .. I hope she has just taken off on her own accord, but not keeping in touch with family is troubling ..

 

[Dr.Strangelove]

I had noted in an earlier text how she stated on SM that due to the election she would be leaving sooner then she thought, and how it was causing duress. My comment was removed by a moderator telling me to keep politics out this forum. Unfortunately, the moderator was the only person playing politics. There have been numerous LGBT suicides due to the election this year and I find it to be a valid peice of evidence that there could be a chance of suicide. There was also many recent pictures of heavy alcohol consumption which causes depression and could elevate thoughts of suicide. Once again just an assumption based off what little evidence is avalable. As someone who's had friends and family commit suicide without any warning signs I understand there doesn't have to be any signs at all. On the other hand no information released in over a month would make me think LE is aware of a possible suspect or motive and is shelving that evidence hoping to not spook a suspect, or there is evidence pointing to a jumper scenario. Either way it is incredibly tragic to know so many young people go missing without a trace in our country, either by choice, or not, and I understand the pain of hopelessness personally from having experience both situations.

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I read your previous comment, and I think it was the way you stated it. I remember thinking it was a little political. The point of the election being a factor to suicide is however very valid and should be stated.

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[ohmslaw1969]

I'm bumping this comment again from the author of the FB page, Praying for Sarah Lee Stern. The comment leads me to believe he/she knows a reason why Sarah might have fled. I hope this person was questioned by the authorities.


"I pray that this was your choice to leave and I want you to know that if it was, I understand why."

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=674613792707074&id=673236676178119

She had made comments about leaving the country sooner than later but it just doesn't add up that she would disappear into Canada without her dog which she seemed to adore on her SM pages. I just find it hard to believe at this point that she disappeared somewhere else on her own. From reading the link you posted it does sound like there might be some personal issues addressed by the poster about being accepted, but I read it as this person is just hoping for the best scenario possible instead of losing hope.

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[Dolphin8]

I read your previous comment, and I think it was the way you stated it. I remember thinking it was a little political. The point of the election being a factor to suicide is however very valid and should be stated.

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The election, a valid point? Nothing on SS's SM accounts showed her deeply concerned about politics except maybe a few innocent statements that made it easy to figure out who's side she was on. PLUS the election was on Nov.8. Almost a month prior to her disappearance. You say, "A valid point that should be stated" I say, I couldn't disagree more.

 

[Dr.Strangelove]

The election, a valid point? Nothing on SS's SM accounts showed her deeply concerned about politics except maybe a few innocent statements that made it easy to figure out who's side she was on. PLUS the election was on Nov.8. Almost a month prior to her disappearance. You say, "A valid point that should be stated" I say, I couldn't disagree more.

No, a valid point that she was LGBT, and a lot of people in the LGBT community were troubled by the results. I didn't read her social media, so I had just trusted that it had been brought up.

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[Aleph]

No, a valid point that she was LGBT, and a lot of people in the LGBT community were troubled by the results. I didn't read her social media, so I had just trusted that it had been brought up.

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I don't think her disappearance is about politics or family dynamics, but it's worth adding that a lot of LGBTQ people dread Thanksgiving with extended family, and this year in particular because of the election. Sarah had just returned alone from an extended-family Thanksgiving.


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[Borden]

Is it possible that Sarah received unpleasant news that she may have felt overwhelmed and was unable to process this information. A friendship or relationship may have ended or changed, or something that she perceived as life-altering might account for a hasty and unplanned flight from her residence.