NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 4

[OldSteve]

Anyone can up and leave, IMO, no matter how a family or situation appears to others, even those living with the person who does it. I recall being (at first) most surprised by Tiffany Tehan a few years ago, young, married, with a new baby under a year old she was apparently devoted to. Yet she ran off with a new man, leaving baby behind too, and left her car in such a way to suggest foul play. And all the time, she was on the beach in Florida. Now, nothing surprises me. People will and do, anything. JMO

Agree, and that his car went past his house as the last thing we know (I think we know CMIIW) in this case seems like something someone would do who is about to leave - get one last look at the place before I go...

Also, car seat pushed up too close - sounds like a woman might have been driving.

 

[Angel629]

We don't really know what criteria is used to have "endangered" in NAMUS info. It could be based on how family presents case, IMO. No one wants to have their missing loved on listed as simply "missing" or worse, "runaway". JMO

For adults between the ages of 18-65, you need a valid reason to list someone as "endangered". Of the thousands of adult cases (18-65) on NamUs, only 31 are listed as such. I'm sure that many more could fit the criteria, but my point is that to list someone as "endangered" or "involuntary missing" isn't arbitrary. The person making the report to LE, tells them something that raises a red flag. It's usually something of a medical/emotional nature, but it can be other things (someone saw the missing person being led away, and it didn't look like it was willingly....the missing person was a witness to a crime...the person went missing after a disaster of some kind). So yes, you're right about the information the family presents...but it has to have some reality to it.

 

[Scarletamber]

Back to FB, sorry! IM mentions tonight was the first night RM missed his son's band performance. Wasn't the band playing discussed in their last telephone conversation? So the band played or was supposed to play 9 weeks ago?

That's how I understood it. The band has probably played since without IM's son.

 

[Sweetnspicy]

For adults between the ages of 18-65, you need a valid reason to list someone as "endangered". Of the thousands of adult cases (18-65) on NamUs, only 31 are listed as such. I'm sure that many more could fit the criteria, but my point is that to list someone as "endangered" or "involuntary missing" isn't arbitrary. The person making the report to LE, tells them something that raises a red flag. It's usually something of a medical/emotional nature, but it can be other things (someone saw the missing person being led away, and it didn't look like it was willingly....the missing person was a witness to a crime...the person went missing after a disaster of some kind). So yes, you're right about the information the family presents...but it has to have some reality to it.

Okay, this might sound redundant and like i am a bit "slow" but i just want to clarify, and please tell me if I am wrong, but this tells me that LE has very good reason to believe (and probable evidence they cannot discuss) that he did NOT leave of his own accord and so energy should not be wasted on that "scenario"...

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[Scarletamber]

Now saying "Copter search" will be mon. - Thurs.....:scared:

 

[Sweetnspicy]

Now saying "Copter search" will be mon. - Thurs.....:scared:

The term "delusions of granduer" and "savior complex" come to mind....

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[cluciano63]

Okay, this might sound redundant and like i am a bit "slow" but i just want to clarify, and please tell me if I am wrong, but this tells me that LE has very good reason to believe (and probable evidence they cannot discuss) that he did NOT leave of his own accord and so energy should not be wasted on that "scenario"...

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Honestly, I am not sure. I do not think LE is the method of getting listed on NAMUS. But I also think "endangered" could cover many things. We have seen it used when a person does not have their meds with them, so it does not have to mean a crime is thought to have been committed.

I started thinking today that we might never know what happened to Robert. Again, was reminded of Ray Gricar, who vanished seven or eight years ago in a similar fashion and his fate is a huge mystery. Last seen in his beloved car, something with his computer discs turning up in a river? Anyway, this case makes me think of Ray, although he was a DA and potentially involved in or with dangerous folks. JMO

 

[Vedder]

The term "delusions of granduer" and "savior complex" come to mind....

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At the expense of a woman worried sick about her husband.

 

[trigger]

Yes Clu and also this missing person case of Craig Williamson...

Craig Williamson of Wisconsin is the husband of three years to Christine Reinhard with whom he hoped to get into the lucrative business of fish-farming. One day, he went out on a trip to Colorado Springs to buy fish and never returned. He last spoke to his wife on the phone while at a hotel, and then disappeared. Christine believed that he may have been attacked the day he vanished, but a few days afterward, a woman traveling to Washington on a train believed that she had seen Craig......


http://unsolvedmysteries.wikia.com/wiki/Craig_Williamson

 

[Sweetnspicy]

At the expense of a woman worried sick about her husband.

Yes it is very cruel. Although I dont think his intention, cruel none the less

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[Eileen730]

Does anyone think if he left on his own free will he would have called Ida when he calmed down But when he found she reported him as missing decided to stay missing? Could he be that angry?

 

[Angel629]

Honestly, I am not sure. I do not think LE is the method of getting listed on NAMUS. But I also think "endangered" could cover many things. We have seen it used when a person does not have their meds with them, so it does not have to mean a crime is thought to have been committed.

If you set NamUs aside, the quote from the lady who wrote the petition (and who is an administrator on the FB page, in contact with IM) was:

"Although the police cannot officially say a crime was committed, there are reasons to believe that he may be endangered. Due to the ongoing investigation we cannot provide these details..."

"ForceTen" said a similar thing last night, about there being evidence that RM didn't go willingly. (Post #399) I've never heard or read that from either LE or the media. If that's so, it certainly changes things. Two months have passed and no one (outside of the family) knows anything different from day one. I realize that we're not obligated to know specifics, but why wouldn't LE confirm that this is not likely a person who left voluntarily?

As for "endangerment" criteria, you're right- there are countless reasons, anything from being a diabetic...to having been threatened with violence. Without divulging any details, we still could have been told that this is so.

 

[Sweetnspicy]

Yes Clu and also this missing person case of Craig Williamson...

Craig Williamson of Wisconsin is the husband of three years to Christine Reinhard with whom he hoped to get into the lucrative business of fish-farming. One day, he went out on a trip to Colorado Springs to buy fish and never returned. He last spoke to his wife on the phone while at a hotel, and then disappeared. Christine believed that he may have been attacked the day he vanished, but a few days afterward, a woman traveling to Washington on a train believed that she had seen Craig......


http://unsolvedmysteries.wikia.com/wiki/Craig_Williamson

How sad after all of that they divorced although tragedy is a common cause... it can be hard to "get back to normal"

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[Vedder]

Does anyone think if he left on his own free will he would have called Ida when he calmed down But when he found she reported him as missing decided to stay missing? Could he be that angry?

But why leave the kids in limbo like this? No matter how angry I am with my husband, I wouldn't / couldn't put my son through this.

 

[Eileen730]

But why leave the kids in limbo like this? No matter how angry I am with my husband, I wouldn't / couldn't put my son through this.

I wouldn't either but.....we don't really know the story it might be in the children's best interest to think dad vanished...maybe he doesn't want them to know why he left.

 

[Sweetnspicy]

But why leave the kids in limbo like this? No matter how angry I am with my husband, I wouldn't / couldn't put my son through this.

I agree, that is why I truly believe he did not leave of his own accord. Even if all the speculation of marital problems were true and he just took off to cool down, I am sure he would have left a note or called the kids directly (I dont know too many 15 year olds that dont have their own cell phone nowdays. As much as I dislike them, any child of mine would have one for safety)

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[cluciano63]

If you set NamUs aside, the quote from the lady who wrote the petition (and who is an administrator on the FB page, in contact with IM) was:

"Although the police cannot officially say a crime was committed, there are reasons to believe that he may be endangered. Due to the ongoing investigation we cannot provide these details..."

"ForceTen" said a similar thing last night, about there being evidence that RM didn't go willingly. (Post #399) I've never heard or read that from either LE or the media. If that's so, it certainly changes things. Two months have passed and no one (outside of the family) knows anything different from day one. I realize that we're not obligated to know specifics, but why wouldn't LE confirm that this is not likely a person who left voluntarily?

As for "endangerment" criteria, you're right- there are countless reasons, anything from being a diabetic...to having been threatened with violence. Without divulging any details, we still could have been told that this is so.

If there is ANY indication that he is a crime victim, then I really don't get how silent LE is being.

 

[Eileen730]

There have been some nasty divorces. And how long does a person have to be missing to be declared dead? I think this was all planned out by Robert.... he goes missing no battles to fight and she collects after 5 yrs right?

 

[Sweetnspicy]

If there is ANY indication that he is a crime victim, then I really don't get how silent LE is being.

I dont either, but then again I didnt go to the police academy so I dont know all the techniques they use, I can only "play one on tv" I would guess they are not saying anything because somehow it might jepordize his safety even more..only a guess though.

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[desensitized]

I agree, that is why I truly believe he did not leave of his own accord. Even if all the speculation of marital problems were true and he just took off to cool down, I am sure he would have left a note or called the kids directly (I dont know too many 15 year olds that dont have their own cell phone nowdays. As much as I dislike them, any child of mine would have one for safety)

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you bring up a good point about all kids having cell phones these days. on those cell phones they also have apps for FB, IG and KIK, where ANYONE can claim to be ANYONE and be in touch with your kids. IM stated RM wasn't tech savvy, but I believe he knew enough to do what he wanted on computers/phones. maybe he HAS contacting his children. but going by a different name. maybe he's been offering them support from a "catfish" account. IM should talk to her kids and go through messages. Any new "friends" or "followers" that they have never physically met should be examined.