NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 8

[Clemenza]

Personally I think this sort of thing only happens in movies. How many adults men go missing because they are forced to leave? I can't think of any case.

But listen to IM's words. She pleads with him to come home because that is where he would be safe. Not "come home because your children miss you, you bonehead". Not "release my husband you bad people holding him hostage".

I am thinking if you take all of the evidence as we know it and try very hard to believe it all to be true, the outcome is not good for RM.

My top theories are tied for the number 1 spot: drug deal gone bad and suicide. Followed by leaving on his own, which I wish could be the real outcome but I am falling less and less enamored with. I just do not see him leaving those two beautiful children to start a new life.

I think IM is 100% a victim here. Even though I am frustrated beyond belief by the lack of action on her part. I think she's just doing all that she can do emotionally. Sometimes people cope differently than we do and we have a hard time understanding their actions.

My 2 cents.

Supporting the suicide theory, don't forget the quote, "Rob, you're important". Did he feel unimportant? Inadequate?

 

[CatFancier]

I was just thinking this in regards to another case but I think it may apply here as well. Most of us can imagine going on loud and long and getting the word out there, getting organized and finding help, etc. I think some people don't have that kind of personality and are grateful for the help but really don't know what to do with it.

Where else in your life is a bunch of strangers going to ask you a zillion questions when you've been a relatively private person all your life? I don't know that everyone is equipped to do what we think we would do (but then we have way more experience in this missing business).

 

[Codger]

How are we sure his mother is suffering? I have heard nothing from his family. if she was dont you think she would be talking? Or even maybe pointing fingers as to who might have hurt her beloved son? jMOO As for kids...dads do it all the time unfortunately. Many think the kids will understand and resent the mother eventually. Or maybe he never intended for it to go this far and his hand was forced......or maybe he felt it better than committing suicide and his kids finding that! I dont know...just my thoughts...

Ok I am in the process of catching up , but...."how are we sure his mother is suffering?"

SHE IS HIS MOTHER. Her son is missing. That's all. JMHOO.

 

[Clemenza]

I was just thinking this in regards to another case but I think it may apply here as well. Most of us can imagine going on loud and long and getting the word out there, getting organized and finding help, etc. I think some people don't have that kind of personality and are grateful for the help but really don't know what to do with it.

Where else in your life is a bunch of strangers going to ask you a zillion questions when you've been a relatively private person all your life? I don't know that everyone is equipped to do what we think we would do (but then we have way more experience in this missing business).

I could be wrong but, something tells me Ida has plenty of experience in dealing with unwanted attention.

 

[Codger]

And if that is the case, why hide the phone at home? Did he not want the phone to be found? Or he wanted the car to be found Before the phone was found??
Why not leave the phone in the car? What is the purpose of having the car separate from the wallet, phone, and 300 dollars?
Was it to show that Yes he made it home,and perhaps retrieved something else from home??

IMOO.

Maybe it was not walking distance from home, but it was walking distance from the LIRR parking lot. I think the car was supposed to be found. I think the phone was not hidden but simply in its usual weekend location at home. JMO

 

[Codger]

Somewhat like the Ray Gricar case. Disappears with no trace. ?

While leaving a cute little red car in a public lot away from the house where the tracking dogs are unable to pick up a scent while LE says no evidence of a crime + the commenters say repeatedly he probably walked away on his own. Oh why yes this has reminded me of RG more than once. JMO

 

[cluciano63]

Yeah I mentioned Ray Gricar months ago here...

 

[Codger]

Something I was thinking about today that I don't think was discussed here much is the lunch pail.

It is the only other thing possibly identifiable besides the bike that's missing. I would think a detailed description of this item would have been released by now so that the 5 people on Long Island that know about this case can keep our eyes peeled for it.

I might have mentioned the lunch pail :floorlaugh:
5 locals... oh dear! :silly:

But in all seriousness why have we not seen a picture of it, nevermind the BIKE or tools or anything? How bout a picture of RM in his usual work attire? Yanno like the gray polo with emblem + blue jeans + work boots he's thought to have last been seen in?

 

[Codger]

For those who think suicide...why the silence from his family....why the very quiet position of LE....and SAR now....(here's hoping they get back to Trackergd) and why why why are questions considered so offensive???

Nobody ever wants to think suicide. Family silence may be denial, or shame at the thought of it or fear of it. Quiet position of LE in respect to family if this is a suicide. Questions... maybe the answerer being defensive in thought of it might be suicide. In my little bit of life experience folks are very opinionated about suicide even when it strikes close to home. I have heard the next of kin make horrible comments in reference to the victim of suicide. Some don't understand, some don't want to understand, some are to quote my dear Auntie 'holier than thou'. 'Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone'. JMO

 

[McSpy]

Yes. That is fact.
Namus site states fingerprints available elsewhere


https://www.findthemissing.org/en/cases/show/20818

Maybe fingerprints were a requirement for his electrician's license?? After doing a quick Google search, it appears fingerprints are a requirement for a license to install security/alarm systems in most states. RM could have added this license to his list of skills. Just a thought . .

 

[McSpy]

I found this (scroll down to last page. It lists a fingerprint fee.):

http://www.nyc.gov/html/dob/downloads/pdf/elec_lic_checklists.pdf

It seems RM's electrician's license may have required fingerprints. This is for NYC, but it appears this requirement is typical for this kind of license across the board. Home contractors licenses of all types (plumbers, electricians, etc.) seem to need the same requirement (fingerprints) as well.

 

[minusfour]

I never post, but always read.

Robert was a healthy, largish man who went missing in daylight, in a populated area. His bike, and some work equipment seem to be missing with him. (??) His car was found at a railway station. Apparently the head of a happy family, we do know that there had been some problems in the past, with his wife's career change, and that, no matter what the family's income was, that they had reasonably high outgoings.

I don't know why the $300 was in the drawer, or the telephone, or why the car seat was forward. (Etc) However, it seems clear to me that the most likely scenario is Robert leaving under his own steam. For reasons that are not clear to us.

My father went out to work one day when I was six, leaving four children, a wife, mortgaged house. He had an ok-ish career. The next time I saw him was in a coffin, 33 years later. Another woman, another life. He was not a monster, just overwhelmed, and weak. He did have contact with his mother and siblings at some point after he left- I don't know how long after, because we had no contact with them. (Then) They have subsequently told us that my father said that having contact with us, (his kids), would cause us grief. He paid no child support etc, but, after about three years did divorce my mother, (via lawyers), and claimed his equity in the family house. (This was in the 70s, things are different now)

Sometimes people just take off. It is the easiest option for them, for whatever reason. I can't tell you what my father left behind in a drawer, or anything like that. He was gone. he was not there. He was nowhere to be found.

 

[To Kill a Mockingbird]

IMO, Molehill = Mountain.

:boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo:

 

[Trackergd]

For those who think suicide...why the silence from his family....why the very quiet position of LE....and SAR now....(here's hoping they get back to Trackergd) and why why why are questions considered so offensive???

No return phone calls from Parks or SAR. No return email from SAR. :banghead:

 

[BunnyHop]

No return phone calls from Parks or SAR. No return email from SAR. :banghead:

That's interesting. :silenced:

 

[To Kill a Mockingbird]

I was just thinking this in regards to another case but I think it may apply here as well. Most of us can imagine going on loud and long and getting the word out there, getting organized and finding help, etc. I think some people don't have that kind of personality and are grateful for the help but really don't know what to do with it.

Where else in your life is a bunch of strangers going to ask you a zillion questions when you've been a relatively private person all your life? I don't know that everyone is equipped to do what we think we would do (but then we have way more experience in this missing business).

From all that has been brought to my attention
it would appear that "the RELATIVELY PRIVATE PERSON ALL THEIR LIFE" that you are speaking of has NOT been a relatively private person.

When one googles that person's name you come up with all sorts of information.

I think that person is very concerned (rightly so) that a presser would go the way of Anthony Weiner taking a beating from MSNBC host Lawrence O'Donnell last night who repeatedly asked Mr. Weiner "What is wrong with you?" Mr. O'Donnell stated that he was "asking from a psychiatric issue and that he didn't care about Weiner's phoney political answers - you are being driven by some kind of demon's in some strange directions, and i'm wondering why....." He repeatedly asked Anthony Weiner what was wrong with him.

I for one would LOVE to see Lawrence O'Donnell in a presser with ""the RELATIVELY PRIVATE PERSON ALL THEIR LIFE"

Anthony Weiner took a beating on the night before the mayoral primary from MSNBC host Lawrence O’Donnell, who repeatedly asked the scandal-scarred Democratic candidate, “What is wrong with you?”

“I have really just one basic question I think a lot of people have wondered about,” O’Donnell started. “For me, it just comes down to this, which is: What is wrong with you?”

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election/weiner-heated-argument-msnbc-show-article-1.1450616

 

[BunnyHop]

Bunny....I don't think he's dead. I never have. But as far as the topic of LE is concerned and victim status....I can guarantee you LE suspects EVERYBODY until they are ruled out.....and if they start acting like a perp well...if it walks like a duck....and about the phone being found....just FYI...if it were my husband and I found his phone....I wouldn't tell police for a week maybe 3... just to see who called it....and I'd be doing in depth discovery on the texts...

Good points. I would be checking the phone also.
Let's remember, our verified insider mentioned questionable texts.

Let's also remember, it was reported the phone was found,
then no it wasn't, then yes it was. :banghead:

 

[BunnyHop]

Let's say he's in Witness Protection.......
Why? What would he be testifying about?

Something on the job or something else?

 

[CuriousAmI]

I ventured onto another missing persons case yesterday, little 7 year old Willow Long. Just read a body was found last night. Info just being released on MSM. No Identification yet. IM heartbroken. I give you all major kudos on this site for the help you all provide. IM sure finding a body is never the outcome expected. So sad.

 

[Eileen730]

Let's say he's in Witness Protection.......
Why? What would he be testifying about?

Something on the job or something else?

Mafia?
But if he had to vanish (and they do have to go forever its not a month or 2)
His family would be with him..
WP just dosent fit here as I see it.

I do not believe his job has anything at all to do with anything!