Thank you icu nurse for sharing such a personal story and such hard won wisdom.
One of my nieces (my god-daughter) has kept a very similar journal to the one you describe for the baby she lost during her third pregnancy. It happened just before my mother (the baby's great-grandmother) lost her fight with ALS. My DN and her DH were devastated, but found comfort in believing that my mother would be with their much loved, much wanted darling girl.
DN started the journal as an outlet for her sorrow. Over the years, particularly on the anniversary of DG's birth, DN's children have written their own messages to their angel. Although unintended, the journal has, I think, shown DG's two older sisters, her older step sister and step brother, and her little brother that they would never, ever be forgotten if they too should should somehow slip away from those who loved them.
This year, DG's little brother (who will turn 4 in three weeks) decided he would be part of the Hair Massacure (a fundraiser for Cancer research). He wanted, he said, to help raise money so the disease that took away DG wouldn't take away anyone else's sister. He wrote all about it to DG, with a little help from his mom.
Your experience, icu nurse, like that of my DN and her family, underscores the value of your suggestion to TJ. Such a journal can be a tool for healing and hope, and an instrument of love across generations.
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Kahlil Gibran
I love it in fact.
