OK - Twin toddler girls die in hot car after family member forgets to drop them off at daycare - Sep 8, 2024

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My heart goes out to this family.

I wonder if the relative dropped one of the parents at work using the vehicle and then, instead of driving to the daycare, forgot and just drove the car home. Possibly a new routine or change in routine?

People think this can't happen to them, but maybe this is one of those cases that show it actually could happen in any family that doesn't utilize all of the tips recommended to prevent it. It sounds like this relative loved the babies very much, and no one thought they could forget to drop them off. So sad.
 
KMouse said:
I don't understand how this keeps happening. Those poor little kids. Hope the caregiver is charged.
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Does this happen more than it used to? Or do we just hear about it more?

I certainly hope the caregiver's actions that day are thoroughly investigated and then the caregiver charged if appropriate. The family believing/saying it was an accident is not enough for me. JMO
 
ChatteringBirds said:
My heart goes out to this family.

I wonder if the relative dropped one of the parents at work using the vehicle and then, instead of driving to the daycare, forgot and just drove the car home. Possibly a new routine or change in routine?

People think this can't happen to them, but maybe this is one of those cases that show it actually could happen in any family that doesn't utilize all of the tips recommended to prevent it. It sounds like this relative loved the babies very much, and no one thought they could forget to drop them off. So sad.
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Who forgets there's two other human beings in the vehicle with you, TWO dependent and helpless toddlers? Tips recommended to prevent you forgetting that fact...IMO, have a working brain.
 
sunshineray said:
Who forgets there's two other human beings in the vehicle with you, TWO dependent and helpless toddlers? Tips recommended to prevent you forgetting that fact...IMO, have a working brain.
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Yep. We say that. But studies show “good parents “ do this too. Lots of stories about bad parents too, of course. But just Google it…school principals, dentists, nurse practitioners, veterinarians, etc. Not just drunk caregivers. Loving parents do it. I don’t really get it either, but it’s a “thing” for sure.

One day, hopefully all vehicles will have alerts on seats (many do now) and these unintended situations won’t happen anymore. In the meantime, our babies will continue to die.
 
seasideForest said:
Does this happen more than it used to? Or do we just hear about it more?

I certainly hope the caregiver's actions that day are thoroughly investigated and then the caregiver charged if appropriate. The family believing/saying it was an accident is not enough for me. JMO
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It looks like a combination of factors- it happens more relative to the early 90s, but that appears to be because in the late 90's there was a push for babies to never be put in the front seat of a car. From 1995-1998 there was a sudden spike in child deaths from airbags, which appears to have motivated the pivot to having babies in the back seat and decreasing the airbag deaths, but in turn this did increase hot car deaths.
(Though, it looks like child car deaths overall have increased from 1995 onwards; I think it's hard to say whether or not it actually happened more, or if something about the record-keeping or reporting process changed.)
It looks like 2020 and 2021 were a drop from the deadliest years of 2018 and 2019, but there are rarely years in which hot car deaths in the US number less than 30.
Data from https://www.kidsandcars.org/document_center/download/hot-cars/Child-Hot-Car-Deaths-Data-Analysis.pdf
 
LunaInvidia said:
It looks like a combination of factors- it happens more relative to the early 90s, but that appears to be because in the late 90's there was a push for babies to never be put in the front seat of a car. From 1995-1998 there was a sudden spike in child deaths from airbags, which appears to have motivated the pivot to having babies in the back seat and decreasing the airbag deaths, but in turn this did increase hot car deaths.
(Though, it looks like child car deaths overall have increased from 1995 onwards; I think it's hard to say whether or not it actually happened more, or if something about the record-keeping or reporting process changed.)
It looks like 2020 and 2021 were a drop from the deadliest years of 2018 and 2019, but there are rarely years in which hot car deaths in the US number less than 30.
Data from https://www.kidsandcars.org/document_center/download/hot-cars/Child-Hot-Car-Deaths-Data-Analysis.pdf
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Wonder if the 2020 drop was Covid related. Also assume school shootings decreased in 2020 too.
 
BrownRice said:
Yep. We say that. But studies show “good parents “ do this too. Lots of stories about bad parents too, of course. But just Google it…school principals, dentists, nurse practitioners, veterinarians, etc. Not just drunk caregivers. Loving parents do it. I don’t really get it either, but it’s a “thing” for sure.

One day, hopefully all vehicles will have alerts on seats (many do now) and these unintended situations won’t happen anymore. In the meantime, our babies will continue to die.
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Sorry, I will never get it. I guess I'm just not as forgiving. It's not in the realm of a mishap for me, MO
 
This is the best article I've ever read regarding hot car deaths, and it really put it in perspective for me. It does a good job of explaining how it genuinely can happen to anyone. So many people thought it only happened to negligent parents and they could never forget their child- But then they did. It's long, but definitely worth the read.
 
BrownRice said:
Yep. We say that. But studies show “good parents “ do this too. Lots of stories about bad parents too, of course. But just Google it…school principals, dentists, nurse practitioners, veterinarians, etc. Not just drunk caregivers. Loving parents do it. I don’t really get it either, but it’s a “thing” for sure.
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RSBM
Maybe need to look at definition of "good parents". A good profession does not make a good parent. Those professions you listed - you'll find neglect and even abuse in the households of parents with those professions, you'll also find drunk caregivers among them. You'll find good parents among those of more lowly professions, among the unemployed.

I agree with you that loving parents have lapses, forget things, make mistakes. Forgetting your baby or tiny child somewhere seems a Very Big Lapse.
MOO JMO

An answer might be for parents to get better grounded, better in the 'here and now'. Cars imho can have a bit of a lulling effect. I wonder how many non-drivers genuinely forget their tiny children on the bus or in bike trailers? Not suggesting everybody get rid of their cars but rather train selves in mindfulness. MOO
 
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Well, looking at the statistics and assuming the correlation between decreased air bag deaths and increased hot car deaths is causation, it really seems to be the case where the baby is out of eyeshot and out of reach, so gets forgotten. A train or bike wouldn't really lend itself to the same thought process- you're not setting your baby down and walking away from it on the train, after all.

I'm not a parent and I hope never to be one, but I have sympathy as someone with raging ADHD. No amount of mindfulness will keep me from forgetting even very important things. Never a baby, but I'm not willing to say it never would, despite the fact that I would never, ever intentionally cause a child harm. I'm just very aware of all the unintentional ways that harm happens.
 
seasideForest said:
RSBM
Maybe need to look at definition of "good parents". A good profession does not make a good parent. Those professions you listed - you'll find neglect and even abuse in the households of parents with those professions, you'll also find drunk caregivers among them. You'll find good parents among those of more lowly professions, among the unemployed.

I agree with you that loving parents have lapses, forget things, make mistakes. Forgetting your baby or tiny child somewhere seems a Very Big Lapse.
MOO JMO

An answer might be for parents to get better grounded, better in the 'here and now'. Cars imho can have a bit of a lulling effect. I wonder how many non-drivers genuinely forget their tiny children on the bus or in bike trailers? Not suggesting everybody get rid of their cars but rather train selves in mindfulness. MOO
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True. I thought about that after I posted it. I think the point I was trying to make is these were people going to work (not that their job makes them a better person), opposed to parents passed out at home from drugs, playing video games, sexting teens, etc.

But thank you for responding to my post; you are totally correct and I’m sorry if I offended anyone.
 
seasideForest said:
RSBM
Maybe need to look at definition of "good parents". A good profession does not make a good parent. Those professions you listed - you'll find neglect and even abuse in the households of parents with those professions, you'll also find drunk caregivers among them. You'll find good parents among those of more lowly professions, among the unemployed.

I agree with you that loving parents have lapses, forget things, make mistakes. Forgetting your baby or tiny child somewhere seems a Very Big Lapse.
MOO JMO

An answer might be for parents to get better grounded, better in the 'here and now'. Cars imho can have a bit of a lulling effect. I wonder how many non-drivers genuinely forget their tiny children on the bus or in bike trailers? Not suggesting everybody get rid of their cars but rather train selves in mindfulness. MOO
Click to expand...
This is probably not going sound nice, and I do not mean disrespect, but do stay at home moms or dads forget their kids in the car? Accidentally of course, and I refer to good parents My job was my kids, and I can say I did never and would never forget a kid in the back of my car. Never. I agree it is mindfulness.
 
Tutter said:
This is probably not going sound nice, and I do not mean disrespect, but do stay at home moms or dads forget their kids in the car? Accidentally of course, and I refer to good parents My job was my kids, and I can say I did never and would never forget a kid in the back of my car. Never. I agree it is mindfulness.
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It looks like most hot car deaths are kids left for hours, typically when the parent skips daycare and parks at work. SAH parents don’t tend to have errands that require them to park for hours and their activities tend to *require* the child’s presence: pediatrician, playdates, playground, zoo, library. It’s a completely different lifestyle. JMO.

Christopher Scholtes is a SAHD.
 
What I don't get is that in all of these cases, there cannot have been any talking/communication between the kids and the adult driver. Yes, kids fall asleep in cars on long drives but on the commute to and from daycare? I don't know any kid that didn't have a lot to say on those trips. How can you forget someone who talks to you during the trip?
 
sunshineray said:
Who forgets there's two other human beings in the vehicle with you, TWO dependent and helpless toddlers? Tips recommended to prevent you forgetting that fact...IMO, have a working brain.
Click to expand...
All JMO MOO - I think long hours at stressful jobs + parenting = brain not working. I think its a side effect of contemporary society where its hard to pay a mortgage or even rent with only one income, if not impossible, and many couples both have stressful jobs with long hours or even multiple jobs. While I don't think its necessarily an excuse, it is a reason in some of these cases. Obviously, some are negligence or even deliberate, but I do think some are very much unintentional. being tired essentially puts your brain in the same state as being under the influence. Goodness knows, being a parent causes tiredness especially parents and guardians of very young children who wake through the night. I also think with grandparents who do it, you have to look at the possibility of dementia that nobody had noticed the signs of yet - so, also not a 'working brain'.
LunaInvidia said:
It looks like a combination of factors- it happens more relative to the early 90s, but that appears to be because in the late 90's there was a push for babies to never be put in the front seat of a car. From 1995-1998 there was a sudden spike in child deaths from airbags, which appears to have motivated the pivot to having babies in the back seat and decreasing the airbag deaths, but in turn this did increase hot car deaths.
(Though, it looks like child car deaths overall have increased from 1995 onwards; I think it's hard to say whether or not it actually happened more, or if something about the record-keeping or reporting process changed.)
It looks like 2020 and 2021 were a drop from the deadliest years of 2018 and 2019, but there are rarely years in which hot car deaths in the US number less than 30.
Data from https://www.kidsandcars.org/document_center/download/hot-cars/Child-Hot-Car-Deaths-Data-Analysis.pdf
Click to expand...

Interesting that the years when everyone at home it majorly dropped off, which I do think is good evidence that modern life is the genesis of it.

All JMO, but I do think its very possible that the rise in number of working mothers has something to do with it. I think a mother whose sole focus is her own children is far less likely to a) forget in the first place and b) even be in the situation where its possible to 'forget' the child/ren. If a mother works other people are taking care of the kids more and she's more likely to be stressed out and forgetful.

I've been both a SAHM and a working mother, and I fully support women working for a multitude of reasons given the society and economy we have, but given it seems to be a relatively new phenomenon, perhaps it is a factor. As a working mother I've made it a daily habit to replay the morning dropoff in my head both on my way to work after dropoff, after parking at work and then again once I've started working. Who did I see? Who did I talk to? How was my kid? What was he wearing? stuff like that. Its probably neurotic, but oh well. I also tend to keep stuff in the backseat so I often (but not always) have to get stuff out of there before I go in, so that's another reminder. Once I'm satisfied in my own brain that that morning's dropoff really happened, its only then I can relax and forget about it. Sadly I've never sent my kids to a daycare or school that does the automatic 'your kid didn't show up' text - it should be mandatory at every daycare and every school everywhere in the world with that technology, imo.

Tutter said:
This is probably not going sound nice, and I do not mean disrespect, but do stay at home moms or dads forget their kids in the car? Accidentally of course, and I refer to good parents My job was my kids, and I can say I did never and would never forget a kid in the back of my car. Never. I agree it is mindfulness.
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Its definitely my hunch. Its always been my hunch, but its just a hunch. Maybe the statistics don't even bare that out, but I'd love to see them.

pol100gk said:
What I don't get is that in all of these cases, there cannot have been any talking/communication between the kids and the adult driver. Yes, kids fall asleep in cars on long drives but on the commute to and from daycare? I don't know any kid that didn't have a lot to say on those trips. How can you forget someone who talks to you during the trip?
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Agreed. There was a case in Australia where a child care centre's own director forgot a child in the centre's bus and he died. This means that the director and the other educator spent the whole time yacking away to each other (or in stony silence? either way) and totally ignored the poor child the whole time. I think the same thing - parents and other carers, why are you not talking to your child/ren? Its how they learn to communicate! to have a conversation! Super frustrating
 
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