Concentric, I agree. Concerted efforts in Washington State CPS system have been made toward no longer punishing the victim. Historically, the Perp. of DV (ie: Mom's Paramour) would be asked to move out of the home and the Victim (ie: Mom) would be told she would be charged with child neglect if she allowed the Perp. access to her children.
I have seen some of those shelter's myself and it makes me sick to see boys over the age of 12 being forced to stay alone at the Men's shelter, while their Mother and siblings are allowed to stay at the "Women's shelter".
Requirements to stay in the DV shelters are often extremely restrictive and most people do not do well living in structured housing. Often families are so bruised, broken, and fearful they are simple shells of their former selves. Most arrive feeling hopeless, helpless and doomed. They have gone from one situation where they had no control over any part of their lives to yet another one with different rules. Not sure that is the best way to empower victims to take back control.
Again, balance between structure needed to keep multiple families living together in one location to allowing victims to regain the very things they were deprived of . . . (ie: freedom to make decisions on their own, stabilizing and nurturing themselves and their children, etc).
BBM There is a reason for restrictions, security. I have seen this issue from both sides, as someone being protected and someone working in the environment. In the course of six months, while I was healing from injuries, I was in 4 different shelters for security reasons. One was on the reservation and the other three off, in neighborhood settings. Shelters vary from places with CCTV to one where my ex could have very easily walked in the back door. During the night there was no one at the shelter but me; the back door had glass windows and there was no security fence. I have seen a woman try to kill her 4 children while in the shelter, plus she pried open the office door and the filing cabinet holding our records. The cold medicine she overdosed her children with was in a locked cabinet, in a locked bathroom in a locked office. She also pried the numbers off of the doors of the individual rooms and threw away all of the food in the kitchen, freezer and refrigerator. One woman smuggled different men in her room before she was asked to leave. Restrictions provide an environment that is safe for all.
As josh proved with his actions; Domestic Violence settings are volatile and bringing a woman or a family into a shelter doesn't 100% insure safety. Two of the shelters that I was in had panic buttons in the room that went directly to the police department; there were several times when we were all ushered into a safe room while a situation was diffused. Domestic Violence shelters are a place to protect people, they are not a hotel. Family suites, for those with children, particularly older boys, is the way to go; each has a little kitchenette and bath. It is not necessary to remove restrictions from shelters but rather to provide more funding and more security.
VAWA, the Violence Against Women Act is the best piece of legislation to have been passed; the results are measurable and immediate. There are so many options and avenues opened to those who are ensnared in DV. There has to be a structure and protocol just to facilitate the necessary work. From providing emergency housing, food and medical, in the beginning, to legal services, finding housing and follow-up care as people leave the shelter there are always details that must be addressed. Then there is the unknown; will the 'victim' [I hate that word] go back, will the perp get violent and will the children be safe? josh proved that there is never safety in dv. I know from my own experience from traveling through 5 different states that there is never safety but thankfully there is a place to go to have some sense of fear that is ratcheted down, for the moment. So I have to wash dishes, clean bathrooms/kitchens, not go out during certain hours unless it is for work, have to enter through a key coded door and other restrictions; I know that I will at least have a few hours of desperately needed sleep.
ALL of the above is ONLY MY OPINION; I've gotten the t-shirt on this issue and the scars, as well, BUT I am still standing and very much grateful for the shelters that kept me safe.
I wish that Susan and her boys had gotten to a shelter; they would have had a better chance against the evil of jp/sp, they would probably be alive today. josh would never have been able to wreak the havoc he did finally do. He would most likely have been in jail because Susan and the boys would have been in an environment where there was immediate help legally. We know that Susan was a strong woman, josh was just too devious and he was abetted by his father. The question of josh's parental rights would have been a moot point, he would have been known for who he was. He would have to address and answer for his wrongdoing before contact with the children. There is a reason why sp and subsequently jp went to WA; they are too lax and both powells knew this.
