Post Verdict - Ross Harris Trial

[Rayemonde]

True story.
There was a hot car death recently. The baby girl's mother forgot to drop her off at day care that was within sight of her workplace. Horrible accident. A child is dead. The DA must call a GJ. The GJ refused to indict the mother.

The GJ considered:
The mother had recently informed her employer that she would resign her position in September, 2016 in order to stay home with her child, which was about six weeks before her daughter died inside her hot car.

The mother's routine was interrupted and irregular in routine that particular morning.

A friend knows a lady who works with the mother. My friend said her friend is devastated because the vehicle was parked right outside her office window. The lady has blamed herself for not looking, or hearing, or somehow seeing the child locked inside a hot car and continues to carry an albatross of guilt.

So, I ask, how is the mother doing. My friend's reply was that the mother is doing good. She is back at work, and so on. Doesn't it sound as if the devastated person was the mother's coworker?

And another true story is that my sister's baby son died from natural causes. Every. single. day. for months she went to his graveside where she remained until it was time to close the cemetery gates. She knew her Austin was not there and she knew he wasn't at home in his crib either. She could barely walk unassisted for a week and struggled with insomnia and depression for months. Work? There was no way. But she did boomerang. She soon had another son who has probably never wanted anything in his life that he didn't receive!

Some people bounce back quickly from things and get on with their life. Even after the death of a child. Even if that death was their fault (unintentionally). Others commit suicide, or spend the next twenty years carrying the child's blanket everywhere they go and weeping into it, and talking about nothing but the dead child. It doesn't help anyone, and it doesn't bring the child back, so why do we see it as the most praiseworthy way of grieving?

Some people are stoical and move on quickly, others don't. I don't think that moving on quickly should be be frowned upon. LH didn't let the death of her baby ruin her life. She moved on, got a new boyfriend. She's a strong woman. Good for her.

 

[EquallyDivided]

Yep...it's the single thing I'm most proud of for myself. I gave everything up for what considered my dream and my goals in life for my babies and after the ego healed (not going to lie, 6 months in I had an anxiety attack...what have I done!!! But it passed!) I've never been happier. I know a few close friends who did it as well and they feel the same and I have even more ladder climbing friends who have a lot of regret they never did.
My theory since I've had kids is this.....when they are older and sitting around with spouse/partner etc what will they say about their childhood...what will they complain about...what will they emulate...and that's how I conduct my life since kids ....right wrong or indifferent...it's not perfect, it's not for everyone, but it has for our family. The trick is convincing yourself to put personal goals and possessions to the side.....therein lays the rub.....it's not easy.

Ok OT over....back to the RH is a loser channel.

ETA a huge population is Double income and they are close with amazing kids....this was in no way derogatory towards anyone...just my life choices...

I completely agree with all of your sentiments!

I wasn't able to do it, and by the time I was able, it was too late. Parents who can stay home make a lot of sacrifices - and so do those who don't have that choice.

My views are not popular. One very negative side effect of womens lib was flooding the workforce with able bodies, and less corporate competition to provide higher wages, thereby making it necessary for two people to work in order bring home close to the same paycheck. I'm not negating the positive aspects, just focusing on this one issue.

At the end of the day, you know your kids are going to complain about SOMETHING. I'm just glad that it's "first world problems" but my approach is the same as yours...what do I want them to complain about? The fact that I worked too much overtime and they never saw me, or that they didn't get that PS4... Because believe me, there will be complaints. At least complaining about the PS4, I can make fun of them for it.

I stopped saying to my kids "we can't afford it" when as a single mom to a 3 and 7 year old, my 7 year old was working all day to pull his first tooth. I asked him why he's trying so hard, it will come out when it's good and ready. He said he needed money from the tooth fairy. I asked him why he wanted money so badly (thinking I would get a good gift idea out of it). He said "So I can give it to you, to pay bills". It broke my heart, he was willing to rip out his tooth to alleviate my money struggles. From then on, I would say "it's not worth the money" or "let's start saving for that!"

Right now, my 23 year olds biggest complaint is I would never let him have a dirtbike. I'm OK with that! I couldn't trust that kid with a can opener!

 

[ScotAng]

Some people bounce back quickly from things and get on with their life. Even after the death of a child. Even if that death was their fault (unintentionally). Others commit suicide, or spend the next twenty years carrying the child's blanket everywhere they go and weeping into it, and talking about nothing but the dead child. It doesn't help anyone, and it doesn't bring the child back, so why do we see it as the most praiseworthy way of grieving?

Some people are stoical and move on quickly, others don't. I don't think that moving on quickly should be be frowned upon. LH didn't let the death of her baby ruin her life. She moved on, got a new boyfriend. She's a strong woman. Good for her.

Third attempt after numbing my hands sitting on them so long.

Curious as to where your info comes from. Especially on those who killed their children unintentionally (apart from the post you quoted). Are there statistics as I'd like to share with them with my group? You're having a dig at people who grieve that way, so obviously not perceived that way by everyone, is it?

I don't know what to say about Leanna not letting Cooper's death ruin her life, your words. (I do, but won't.) Naivety at best. I hope... Yes, she's a very strong woman. Where once thought downtrodden and cowed by RH. Nowt as queer as folk is there.

 

[wassermann]

Third attempt after numbing my hands sitting on them so long.

Curious as to where your info comes from. Especially on those who killed their children unintentionally (apart from the post you quoted). Are there statistics as I'd like to share with them with my group? You're having a dig at people who grieve that way, so obviously not perceived that way by everyone, is it?

I don't know what to say about Leanna not letting Cooper's death ruin her life, your words. (I do, but won't.) Naivety at best. I hope... Yes, she's a very strong woman. Where once thought downtrodden and cowed by RH. Nowt as queer as folk is there.

Sorry, i didn't know how to multi quote so i quote this. There is no admirable way to grieve i agree with that. But as for Leanna being strong and not letting any of this ruin her life, being strong etc. She released a statement she is not ok. She testified under oath that she may never trust again. So where is her strength obvious? and no sarcasm or snakiness.. just curious.

 

[peedoffinny]

I can't get over LH reaction in the holding cell with ross. I also don't understand her comments she made at the funeral. She just sounds so indifferent towards Cooper - something is wrong with her. IMO.

 

[ScotAng]

Sorry, i didn't know how to multi quote so i quote this. There is no admirable way to grieve i agree with that. But as for Leanna being strong and not letting any of this ruin her life, being strong etc. She released a statement she is not ok. She testified under oath that she may never trust again. So where is her strength obvious? and no sarcasm or snakiness.. just curious.

Wasserman, it was sarcasm. I see now I deleted the sentence that would have reflected that.

Yes she did put a statement on FB that she wasn't ok, nor was she ok with being put on the path that led to Ross being convicted. She was absolutely not ok with RH being blamed, that was our (society's) fault. She has huge anger for Harris being found guilty. All about Ross.

Initially I thought her a weak individual, given what we knew of Harris's treatment of her.

She surprised me on the stand a few times. I found her outburst of how RH humiliated her and that she may never trust again interesting. More so, she'd already stated she moved back to Alabama to be with her new b/f. That takes a certain amount of strength. I go between thinking her weak, to a very capable woman. To be clear, I am not a Leanna 'fan'.

 

[wassermann]

Yes i saw your sarcasm...lol, I meant to quote the person you replied to. Oh well... btw I have enjoyed your insight a lot, and I tend to agree a lot!

 

[NCTeacher]

Some people bounce back quickly from things and get on with their life. Even after the death of a child. Even if that death was their fault (unintentionally). Others commit suicide, or spend the next twenty years carrying the child's blanket everywhere they go and weeping into it, and talking about nothing but the dead child. It doesn't help anyone, and it doesn't bring the child back, so why do we see it as the most praiseworthy way of grieving?

Some people are stoical and move on quickly, others don't. I don't think that moving on quickly should be be frowned upon. LH didn't let the death of her baby ruin her life. She moved on, got a new boyfriend. She's a strong woman. Good for her.

Leanna said her life is RUINED. She said that Ross has ruined her life. She didn't state in what way, but given the context, it would be reasonable to conclude that his vicarious sexual exploits have, in her words, humiliated her to the point of ruining her life.

 

[NCTeacher]

Anyone else going to the sentencing? I was thrilled a Monday was selected, so my mom, my children, and I are making an Atlanta-weekend trip! Obviously, from my name, I am driving in from NC.

 

[EquallyDivided]

Anyone else going to the sentencing? I was thrilled a Monday was selected, so my mom, my children, and I are making an Atlanta-weekend trip! Obviously, from my name, I am driving in from NC.

Good luck, although I'm local I don't do crowds very well. Something tells me that courtroom is going to be PACKED!

I'm in court enough for work, viewing online is a much more relaxing experience

If you want ideas for the weekend, shoot me a message!

 

[franquerolane]

I'm sorry, but any parent who lost a toddler through a tortuous death,
who can just go on with their life is not "strong". There is something wrong with them.

 

[monkeypants]

Leanna said her life is RUINED. She said that Ross has ruined her life. She didn't state in what way, but given the context, it would be reasonable to conclude that his vicarious sexual exploits have, in her words, humiliated her to the point of ruining her life.

She just started a whole new life...so her entire life wasn't ruined, just that chapter. Imo she bounced back amazingly fast considering the circumstances! New man, new town, new job...won't be long until new kid. Complete do over in 2 years...

 

[monkeypants]

I've had my heart broken and gone longer than that without a real relationship and I didn't have my son murdered by my husband, humiliated in front of the world by his antics, have to get a divorce ...just saying...no moss grew on that tree.

 

[Hope4More]

I completely agree with all of your sentiments!

I wasn't able to do it, and by the time I was able, it was too late. Parents who can stay home make a lot of sacrifices - and so do those who don't have that choice.

My views are not popular. One very negative side effect of womens lib was flooding the workforce with able bodies, and less corporate competition to provide higher wages, thereby making it necessary for two people to work in order bring home close to the same paycheck. I'm not negating the positive aspects, just focusing on this one issue.

At the end of the day, you know your kids are going to complain about SOMETHING. I'm just glad that it's "first world problems" but my approach is the same as yours...what do I want them to complain about? The fact that I worked too much overtime and they never saw me, or that they didn't get that PS4... Because believe me, there will be complaints. At least complaining about the PS4, I can make fun of them for it.

I stopped saying to my kids "we can't afford it" when as a single mom to a 3 and 7 year old, my 7 year old was working all day to pull his first tooth. I asked him why he's trying so hard, it will come out when it's good and ready. He said he needed money from the tooth fairy. I asked him why he wanted money so badly (thinking I would get a good gift idea out of it). He said "So I can give it to you, to pay bills". It broke my heart, he was willing to rip out his tooth to alleviate my money struggles. From then on, I would say "it's not worth the money" or "let's start saving for that!"

Right now, my 23 year olds biggest complaint is I would never let him have a dirtbike. I'm OK with that! I couldn't trust that kid with a can opener!

Opinions aside, it's ahistorical and factually inaccurate that "women's lib" was in any way responsible for many families needing two working parents to survive financially. Didn't work that way.

 

[Seriously?]

Leanna said her life is RUINED. She said that Ross has ruined her life. She didn't state in what way, but given the context, it would be reasonable to conclude that his vicarious sexual exploits have, in her words, humiliated her to the point of ruining her life.

She had a few opportunities to ditch the humiliation before Cooper's death. She caught him. *advertiser censored* addiction, he said! Marched him to the church to disclose. She knew the accountability guy was in place, but according to her testimony, she did not know that guy called it quits. She wasn't interested enough to find out, be supportive of his abstinence (which was the goal, right? but didn't exactly work). When did the humiliation quotient max out? After he killed Cooper?

I think we all have responsibilities for our lives......choices are made and consequences just fall into place.

 

[Niner]

Sorry, i didn't know how to multi quote so i quote this. There is no admirable way to grieve i agree with that. But as for Leanna being strong and not letting any of this ruin her life, being strong etc. She released a statement she is not ok. She testified under oath that she may never trust again. So where is her strength obvious? and no sarcasm or snakiness.. just curious.

re multi-quotes - on the right side of the page, right next to the "Reply With Quote" there is a "+ Just hit that and then the last person you want to quote hit "Reply with Quote". Hope that helps! :wave:

Anyone else going to the sentencing? I was thrilled a Monday was selected, so my mom, my children, and I are making an Atlanta-weekend trip! Obviously, from my name, I am driving in from NC.

Well - you know that we will expect a FULL report on what's going on in the courtroom, right?! :seeya:

edited to add - it is on Monday, Dec. 5th correct? :thinking:

 

[monkeypants]

Anyone else going to the sentencing? I was thrilled a Monday was selected, so my mom, my children, and I are making an Atlanta-weekend trip! Obviously, from my name, I am driving in from NC.

Standing room only on coopers side and completely empty on RH

 

[MsMtOlympus]

Just finished latest episode of AJC's Breakdown podcast. Host Bill Rankin interviewed DT post-verdict. At one point, Kilgore asks Rankin to turn off his recorder because Carlos Rodriguez was sobbing and needed a moment to compose himself. Kilgore's statements in this particular interview also contained a level of conviction that IMO went beyond the standard practice of defending a client to the media. Whole DT seems to be genuinely convinced that Harris did not kill Cooper intentionally. Why? Do they have information that we don't? (I'm being serious here, no snark intended.)

iTunes link for those interested:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/breakdown/id992983540?mt=2

 

[Runlove]

I was taken aback by this as well. They know he is a gross predator who has solicited and had sex with minors. They know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. They must realize that even if it was an accident by some standard, his nasty behavior and habits were a contributing distraction. I believe he did plan it, but I completely understand believing it was FBS and being determined to prove the legal case of it in court. But I can't imagine being torn up over Ross' personal misfortune. Dude is not worth anyone's tears. I just don't get it.

 

[MsMtOlympus]

I was taken aback by this as well. They know he is a gross predator who has solicited and had sex with minors. They know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. They must realize that even if it was an accident by some standard, his nasty behavior and habits were a contributing distraction. I believe he did plan it, but I completely understand believing it was FBS and being determined to prove the legal case of it in court. But I can't imagine being torn up over Ross' personal misfortune. Dude is not worth anyone's tears. I just don't get it.

Exactly!!

I get that Kilgore, Rodriguez, and Lumpkin may actually honestly believe that the death was unintentional and that a malice murder conviction was a miscarriage of justice (due to "breakdowns in the system") but the sobbing and vouching for Harris's upstanding character (there's an example of this in the podcast) really baffle me. RH gave a minor directions on administering oral sex - vouching for character is no longer a option, I'd say.

(I believe it was never proven/established that Harris had any physical contact with minors?)