Glow,
Thanks for posting your friend's story.
It is truly amazing. I didn't think about such an outcome with a child concieved during rape... But your story changed my mind. :blowkiss:
Romanian Church Wants Pregnant 11-year-old Rape Victim to Give Birth
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Glow,
Thanks for posting your friend's story.
It is truly amazing. I didn't think about such an outcome with a child concieved during rape... But your story changed my mind. :blowkiss:
Glow
Active Member
Thanks. Many viewpoints here. This has been an interesting thread!
I have a friend who was conceived during a rape (stranger rape, black man, deep south, 14 y/o white middle-class mother). She was given up for adoption and was adopted by a family who also adopted a couple of other children. She knows the story of her conception and birth. I can't imagine this world without her... she's a mother now and her bio mother has the peace of knowing that even though she wasn't emotionally/physically/financially capable of raising her, the world is a better place because she's here and out of a terrible circumstance, came a beautiful life, smiles on countless faces, and the joy of a little boy who calls her 'mommy'. What a gift! Not just to her, but to all of us. I dare anyone to tell her she's the remnants of some monsters sperm. I've never looked at her face and thought she was any less human because of the circumstances surrounding the beginning of her life.
I believe in choice, but I am very anti-abortion. As I heard someone say recently... It's a choice, but it's not the humane choice.
I believe in choice, but I am very anti-abortion. As I heard someone say recently... It's a choice, but it's not the humane choice.
At this late point, the decision is more difficult - but it still needs to be her parents call what is best for her. Yes, the child would be viable in a little longer - but viable - that is a loaded term. Once she's "viable" - that just means survival, not a good normal life. Birth so early can and usually does leave the child with lifelong trouble.
So, naturally, if we get to viability, we have the same issue - the longer she can be made to carry, the better for the child's whole life. It's not a matter of wait 2 weeks, then both can live. And if they did just 2 more weeks, and deliver a child who ends up permanently handicapped, again, how does she feel knowing her or her parents unwillingness to let this continue caused a person to live their life with handicaps. So it's not just 2 more weeks.
It's a hard choice at this point - no clear answer. But I do think the parents are the ones with the best picture of what continuing will do to this little girl - physically (very high risks here!) and emotionally.
So, naturally, if we get to viability, we have the same issue - the longer she can be made to carry, the better for the child's whole life. It's not a matter of wait 2 weeks, then both can live. And if they did just 2 more weeks, and deliver a child who ends up permanently handicapped, again, how does she feel knowing her or her parents unwillingness to let this continue caused a person to live their life with handicaps. So it's not just 2 more weeks.
It's a hard choice at this point - no clear answer. But I do think the parents are the ones with the best picture of what continuing will do to this little girl - physically (very high risks here!) and emotionally.
While I am pro-choice, meaning I believe it is the choice of those involved, I am grateful for Ethel Waters, who was also a child of rape, carried to term, then the victim of abuse for years.
I looked up her story for y'all, and I was startled to see that she passed away in 1977. I knew she was gone, but I was only 6 when she died and I can hear her singing/talking like it was yesterday. Obviously, she made quite an impression!
http://www.musicianguide.com/biographies/1608000519/Ethel-Waters.html
I looked up her story for y'all, and I was startled to see that she passed away in 1977. I knew she was gone, but I was only 6 when she died and I can hear her singing/talking like it was yesterday. Obviously, she made quite an impression!
http://www.musicianguide.com/biographies/1608000519/Ethel-Waters.html
believe09
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I respectfully disagree-it depends on who the choice is for as to whether or not it is humane. Kudos to those who have been strong enough to carry children to term-children who were forced on them from rape. For this Romanian child, there was a two fold issue-rape and incest. If you are not emotionally strong enough to take this baby to term as a result of this double whammy, who am I to tell you that you are being inhumane, or that the parents who know this child best are not making a decision in the child's best interest?
Thank you for that link dottie.:blowkiss:
believe09
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I wonder if they had a chance to talk to women who believed that they had done what was best for themselves and never looked back?
dottierainbow
Former Member
You're welcome dear. Back @ ya!:blowkiss:
southcitymom
Well-Known Member
I would edit your statement a little and say "woman who believed that they had done what was best for themselves and for the pregnancy and never looked back."
And no, I don't recall them talking to me, though I know for a fact I'm not the only one out there.
This is a very sore topic for me. I had an abortion at age 19 (on 3/9/1999). I did what I thought was best for me at the time. I was in college and didn't have the financial means to support the baby.... or the pregnancy. I was essentially homeless, and bounced from couch to couch and lived in my car for a stint. Not a fun time in my life, but I made it.
I live every day with thoughts of what that baby would have been had I given it a chance...
Judge me if you want (my only judge is God), but I made the best choice at the time and I'm the person that has to live with it. I don't think I've EVER met another woman that's had an abortion that's had NO regrets...
southcitymom
Well-Known Member
Hugs to you, Dee. It is never an easy decision.:blowkiss:
That said, I have no regrets. I made peace with my choice and with whatever little soul may have been knocking at my door long ago and harbor no guilt.
If I were in the same situation again, I know I would make the same choice. Had I chosen to carry my second unplanned pregnancy to term, the resultant child would have been severely addicted to drugs and/or suffered from FAS - and those are best-case scenarios.
For me, the selfish choice would have been bringing the pregnancy along in the chemical dumping ground that was my body at the time. Some women even get arrested when they make that choice and the child is born addicted.
I live every day knowing that the soul that was trying to come aboard at that time in my life found a better vessel for itself. Heck - maybe it even came back to me when I was able to offer safe passage.
southcitymom
Well-Known Member
:blowkiss: to you deanws!
I understand that many are saying that very soon this fetus will be viable.. That is simply not true. In the extreme cases when a baby survives being born at 24 weeks gestation it almost always have severe and debilitating health problems.
I am in total agreement with the parents. I believe this is a health risk to this little girl. If not physically then most certainly emotionally.
Truth be told had the government not gotten involved she could have gone to Brittan and had an abortion weeks ago.
This delay is their fault. There is something emotionally wrong with people who would make this poor child endure this any longer while they debate this.
I am hoping that the uncle disappearing means he had some assistance with that in the way of a bat along the side of his head and a shallow grave.
I am in total agreement with the parents. I believe this is a health risk to this little girl. If not physically then most certainly emotionally.
Truth be told had the government not gotten involved she could have gone to Brittan and had an abortion weeks ago.
This delay is their fault. There is something emotionally wrong with people who would make this poor child endure this any longer while they debate this.
I am hoping that the uncle disappearing means he had some assistance with that in the way of a bat along the side of his head and a shallow grave.
22 weeks is considered the cut off for viability and resusitative efforts - will not live without extreme medical effort and most who do live (i believe the stats showed that the number who survive is VERY, very low) often have severe disabilities. 24 weeks used to be the cutoff... babies now born at 24 weeks have a HUGE jump in their odds of surviving.
but nothing says she can't carry the infant to term...
What you said. With a big WooHooo!:woohoo:
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
Thanks guys
I wanted to comment on something else too... In the one article it shows a picture of the priest trying to talk to her but she is totally turned away from him.
I cannot imagine having to let this priest talk my 11 yo out of a decision I as her parent have made.
I mean trying to guilt this poor child into this is absolutely appalling to me.
It should also be noted that all the stories about women bearing children conceived by rape are adult women not and 11 yo little girl. IMO an adult women has more insight into what she can emotionally handle and a much better understanding of what responsibility she is taking on by having a child produced from a rape.
An 11 yo is hardly able to make those same decisions.
If I understand correctly the little girl was permitted to go to Britain?
I wanted to comment on something else too... In the one article it shows a picture of the priest trying to talk to her but she is totally turned away from him.
I cannot imagine having to let this priest talk my 11 yo out of a decision I as her parent have made.
I mean trying to guilt this poor child into this is absolutely appalling to me.
It should also be noted that all the stories about women bearing children conceived by rape are adult women not and 11 yo little girl. IMO an adult women has more insight into what she can emotionally handle and a much better understanding of what responsibility she is taking on by having a child produced from a rape.
An 11 yo is hardly able to make those same decisions.
If I understand correctly the little girl was permitted to go to Britain?