SC - 4-year old Hope Fields dies after parents submerge her in scalding water - Feb 23, 2024

[iamshadow21]

I don't think they will reflect on their actions, they will simply be mad that they got caught.

The thing is, these parents became this way most likely because THEIR environment growing up was also abusive/neglectful. They never leaned any better.

There are plenty of abused kids who grow up to treat their children wonderfully. Also, plenty of kids who have ideal home lives who grow up to torture their own families. I know both to be true, from my own family.

It's too simplistic to say that abuse begats abuse and that's all there is to it. Sometimes, people are just cruel and sadistic and there is no moment in their past to point to and say, 'aha'. Sometimes, people are just wired to like hurting others.

MOO

 

[housewife]

It’s a horrible thing to realize. And the medical people who see these cases up close must be jaded.

It makes you want to act. Foster kids age out of the system every year, kids need CASA or court appointed special advocates in court, and advocating for social services are things we can do to turn this around.

At least volunteering helps battle the feelings of hopelessness that things will never change.

 

[housewife]

There are plenty of abused kids who grow up to treat their children wonderfully. Also, plenty of kids who have ideal home lives who grow up to torture their own families. I know both to be true, from my own family.

It's too simplistic to say that abuse begats abuse and that's all there is to it. Sometimes, people are just cruel and sadistic and there is no moment in their past to point to and say, 'aha'. Sometimes, people are just wired to like hurting others.

MOO

Very true, you are absolutely correct.
In my misery I tend to oversimplify things.

 

[iamshadow21]

Very true, you are absolutely correct.
In my misery I tend to oversimplify things.

Yeah, it's easy to do.

The monster in my life had an idyllic childhood. Was a late postwar baby for two gentle parents of faith who taught good principles and love. They never even spanked their children, which was rare at that time.

That person is always there, in the shadows of my past to remind me that sometimes, monsters are born, not made. But even they shape themselves to be that way through the choices they make and the urges they indulge. Everyone, whatever they start life with, has choices.

Hope's parents had choices. They chose to torture her, to embrace their rage, and she died. And for that, I hope they are never free to hurt another child.

MOO

 

[SMK777]

because impulse control is a learned skill. And we are realizing many "parents" are not teaching this at home--possibly because they never received it, either.

Snipped for focus:
I think this is the crux of it, definitely.
You’re not necessarily oversimplifying, even though some cases may stem from something different.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

Agree they are cruel. They could have taken her to the hospital right away with a story about not realizing how hot the bath was, but they allegedly didn't even decide to do that for an entire day.

I wish they would require the manufacturers of hot water heaters to max-out at a non-scalding temperature. People would get used to it.

 

[Lyanna]

I just don’t understand why anyone would think submerging a child in boiling water would be any kind of solution to soiling.

You might get angry, yell a bit, and then do the necessary cleaning up, hopefully with a gentle reminder to tell a parent when you need to go.
They obviously rushed her to the hospital so they weren’t attempting to hide anything.

It doesn’t make any sense to me.

Doesn't make sense to me either. She was 4 years old. No one at any age deserves to be treated like that.
She must have been so upset and then in such pain! Did nobody not hear her - she'd be screaming being placed in scalding water
They waited 24 hours before getting her help and then she died - who was with her? These 2 werent? Who held her hand? Soothed her? talked to her?
Cruel and heartbreaking.
Sick of these "people" having children to then hurt them, repeatedly - its disturbing, disgusting and so many other things.
I'm furious and sad all at the same time.
Thread after thread, life after life after life being cruelly taken away from these precious little humans. Not accidently, not due to unforeseen health issues but at the hands of supposed loving, protecting parents.
SMDH.

MOO

EBM

 

[SMK777]

Doesn't make sense to me either. She was 4 years old. No one at any age deserves to be treated like that.
She must have been so upset and then in such pain! Did nobody not hear her - she'd be screaming being placed in scalding water
They waited 24 hours before getting her help and then she died - who was with her? These 2 werent? Who held her hand? Soothed her? talked to her?
Cruel and heartbreaking.
Sick of these "people" having children to then hurt them, repeatedly - its disturbing, disgusting and so many other things.
I'm furious and sad all at the same time.
Thread after thread, life after life after life being cruelly taken away from these precious little humans. Not accidently, not due to unforeseen health issues but at the hands of supposed loving, protecting parents.
SMDH.

MOO

EBM

Yes, it’s beyond comprehension. They need to teach people who have these issues with rage and impulse control, to put the child in a room, lock it, and leave until the rage passes. Even if you have to drink or smoke or something— anything is better than killing the child. Since these people continue to have children, this is necessary.

 

[JoeFromLB]

Parents both have the dead eyes stare.
The poor child had beautiful, lively eyes.

Diabolical. There are monsters among us...

 

[LMDlong]

Horrible. Hope they get life sentences.
"Dipped babies" are way too common.

Most care-giver abuse happens to children at feeding time, toileting time, or bedtime. Makes you want to cry.

Life is too good for them . They need to suffer then die. IMO

 

[Lyanna]

Yes, it’s beyond comprehension. They need to teach people who have these issues with rage and impulse control, to put the child in a room, lock it, and leave until the rage passes. Even if you have to drink or smoke or something— anything is better than killing the child. Since these people continue to have children, this is necessary.

It is beyond comprehension.
A 4 year old soiling themselves is not a problem, it happens sometimes. There is no reason that could be given to justify their actions that would be acceptable jmo
And yes, people with impulse control need to be educated, people with anger management need to be educated - but I worry that, that education would be wasted as some people are just evil. Nothing can or will change that.
Her final days and hours are upsetting to think about, and we didn't experience those moments - a four year old little girl felt that physical pain, the emotional hurt, the sadness and confusion - not us.

To those that loved and cared about Hope, I am so very sorry for your unimaginable loss Xx

 

[SMK777]

It is beyond comprehension.
A 4 year old soiling themselves is not a problem, it happens sometimes. There is no reason that could be given to justify their actions that would be acceptable jmo
And yes, people with impulse control need to be educated, people with anger management need to be educated - but I worry that, that education would be wasted as some people are just evil. Nothing can or will change that.
Her final days and hours are upsetting to think about, and we didn't experience those moments - a four year old little girl felt that physical pain, the emotional hurt, the sadness and confusion - not us.

To those that loved and cared about Hope, I am so very sorry for your unimaginable loss Xx

Yes, it doesn’t bear thinking about, a little child suffering like that for no good reason. At the hands of her parents, smh.

 

[housewife]

Yes, it’s beyond comprehension. They need to teach people who have these issues with rage and impulse control, to put the child in a room, lock it, and leave until the rage passes. Even if you have to drink or smoke or something— anything is better than killing the child. Since these people continue to have children, this is necessary.

Every hospital sends parents home with a pamphlet regarding shaken baby syndrome (at least they did when I gave birth years ago). They do include hints like "walk away" or "take a break". But... that's it.

IMHO I want an increase in social services, some countries require a nurse to check in with mom and newborn after they go home. I also wish CPS would focus on removing children from dangerous situations earlier, without the goal of parental reunification.
But again I oversimplify

 

[DFWNF]

Agree they are cruel. They could have taken her to the hospital right away with a story about not realizing how hot the bath was, but they allegedly didn't even decide to do that for an entire day.

I wish they would require the manufacturers of hot water heaters to max-out at a non-scalding temperature. People would get used to it.

They do that sometimes here. They set the max lower than normal so people save some money on Bill's, and I understand they often do it in homes that have some se IRS, all part of heating annual check ups.

 

[DFWNF]

They do that sometimes here. They set the max lower than normal so people save some money on Bill's, and I understand they often do it in homes that have some se IRS, all part of heating annual check ups.

Seniors, sorry! Not se IRS

 

[ChatteringBirds]

all part of heating annual check ups.

True, but I mean at the manufacturing level. The default highest temperature setting could be below what would cause burns, so that it's just not going to accidentally (or otherwise) happen to anyone.

 

[BrownRice]

Agree they are cruel. They could have taken her to the hospital right away with a story about not realizing how hot the bath was, but they allegedly didn't even decide to do that for an entire day.

I wish they would require the manufacturers of hot water heaters to max-out at a non-scalding temperature. People would get used to it.

BBM.

In this case, they would have found another way to torture her if the water wasn’t hot enough.

 

[BrownRice]

Horrible. Hope they get life sentences.
"Dipped babies" are way too common.

Most care-giver abuse happens to children at feeding time, toileting time, or bedtime. Makes you want to cry.

BBM

Truer words here have never been said.

Parenting/child-tending can be exhausting. Especially at the end of the day. Especially during meals. Especially all the time. Deal with it! Walk away. Give a time out. Know that these are basically normal parts of parenting. Big deal. Change their underwear, run a bath. If they don’t want to eat dinner, fine.

In so many of these cases, I bet the soiling is more than just a potty training issue. Often these kids are neglected, scared, not living in a home filled with love and security which can show it’s symptoms by not being able to control their bodily functions.

The irony in naming that sweet girl Hope. Just like Harmony.

 

[GoBuckeyes]

Agree they are cruel. They could have taken her to the hospital right away with a story about not realizing how hot the bath was, but they allegedly didn't even decide to do that for an entire day.

I wish they would require the manufacturers of hot water heaters to max-out at a non-scalding temperature. People would get used to it.

People like this would just boil water on the stove, sadly.

 

[Dre]

I am so sad that there are so many of these cases. Normal bodily functions, of babies. Unreal that people treat them like they have adult understanding and control, and pain tolerance? It’s plain torture and I’m beside myself thinking of what can be done or where this is going.

as far as my studies have gone, sadists and psychopaths are both born and socialized simultaneously- somewhere we need checks to make sure that sadists do not have direct care of children.
Jmo.
Sigh