School Parents Want 1st Grader W/ Peanut Allergy Sent Home/Home-Schooled

[katydid23]

I don't see how this child's parents can let the child out of their sight, to be honest.

They are putting an awful lot of trust in the actions, mishaps, omissions, accidents, etc...that befall first graders on an almost hourly basis. Those kids all have busy, distracted parents too-what if a parent simply forgets that their child was eating peanuts the last time he wore his blue pants and the child wiped his hands on his pants, or has peanut butter on his shoe? So many things could happen, if this child is so seriously in danger.

I would never be able to allow such a vulnerable child into such an uncontrolled environment, even if they (the school) have the best of intentions.

It was really like a catch-22 for the young girl at our old school. Her parents did not want her to miss out on being in school with other kids, and doing girl scouts and stuff, so they set it up that this campus would be 'peanut-free zone.' And it seemed simple enough on paper. But , imo, there was so much stress put on the child and the mom, who kind of shadowed her child every day, that it just wasn't that much 'fun' for the poor kid.

Each day at lunch she had to watch the teachers and parent volunteers take a quick look in the kids lunches just before they ate. And there would be a few groans occasionally as
various questionable protein bars would be taken and held until after school.
Parents were very cautious but there is always the odd day that a grandparent or babysitter sends a lunch.
We had to cut out all of the bake sales, which we used to have occasionally as fundraisers.
There were no more in class birthday parties where parents brought snacks in on that special day. They just allowed balloons or small party favors.
They also changed the policy about older kids walking tp pick up their younger sibs. The middle school was at the end of the cul-de-sac, and many parents had relied upon the older kids to walk to the elementary to get their little sibs and walk home. There were greenbelts with no cars that went to a large sub-division so it was safe. But since they could not be sure the older kids did not have peanut butter snacks etc, they had to wait out front and then it became way more complicated to match the kids up.

Anyway I know this post is long, but I wanted to try and explain how complex the situation can become. It kind of turned things upside down at the school. We moved to a new town the next year and I am kind of relieved to be honest.

ETA= I guess I am really resistant because my own child nearly killed this girl, and witnessed the traumatic experience, felt guilty and was given a hard time by the other kids for her innocent mistake.

 

[jjenny]

I don't think anyone opposes accommodations, but when having to provide accommodations affects so many other children, I am not at all surprised some parents want this girl home schooled.

 

[JBean]

Let the little girl go to school! I wouldn't mind having my kids wash their hands and rinse their mouths if it helped another person belong. They wouldn't mind doing it either!

Let her go to school!

 

[katydid23]

Let the little girl go to school! I wouldn't mind having my kids wash their hands and rinse their mouths if it helped another person belong. They wouldn't mind doing it either!

Let her go to school!

If it was as simple as that I would agree with you.

 

[cluciano63]

I totally see what you are saying, Katy...it is not simple at all. Of course no one wants this child deprived of her education or the social growth that comes from school. But I am wondering how it is possible for her to ever relax enough to take part in many activities anyway. I also think it would be a huge stressor for a child to know that an entire school had to be altered in order to accommodate her.

It just seems that the margin for error is so tiny, if it is even exists.

 

[jjenny]

Let the little girl go to school! I wouldn't mind having my kids wash their hands and rinse their mouths if it helped another person belong. They wouldn't mind doing it either!

Let her go to school!

They are little kids. What if one of them forgets a candy bar in the back pack or something of the sort and the little girl gets sick or worse?

 

[LinasK]

These parents are being ridiculous and unwilling to accommodate someone with special needs who deserves to go to school.:twocents:
My daughter's pre-school was nut-free- we just couldn't bring peanut snacks or ones made on the same assembly-line with nuts, and kids had to wash their hands- no clothing changes required!
My daughter also knows a little boy, a good friend who has a peanut allergy. She accidentally gave him a Peanut M&M (unbeknowst to me) while he was at our house. (We also keep Peanut Butter in the fridge) He immediately spit it out and I gave him liquid Benadryl and called his mom. He was okay. Didn't need an epi-pen. His mother brings special desserts for him and asks Coldstone to serve his ice cream separately. It can be managed without being a major inconvenience for everyone involved!!! No need to home-school.

 

[katydid23]

I totally see what you are saying, Katy...it is not simple at all. Of course no one wants this child deprived of her education or the social growth that comes from school. But I am wondering how it is possible for her to ever relax enough to take part in many activities anyway. I also think it would be a huge stressor for a child to know that an entire school had to be altered in order to accommodate her.

It just seems that the margin for error is so tiny, if it is even exists.

I think that is what scared me the most. And I don't know if ALL allergic kids have the same physical reactions that she did. But hers were severe and frightening. If she breathed it in even, not ate it, but 'breathed in' peanut traces, she would start swelling up. Her face would noticably swell , her eyes would flutter and she would literally pass out. At that time her throat was closing up slowly and someone would need to stick her with her epi-pin immediately. Then things would reverse and she could breathe again, but she was weak. And the other kids would watch this and feel very scared themselves.
Also, if a child has a reaction and they don't know WHY it happened, they will bring in the 'drug' dog to sniff it out. Imagine how that makes a child feel if the dog sniffs and alerts on their jacket and backpack and in effect ' BLAMES THEM' for the peanut traces. That's what happened to the kid with the hoodie from the airplane. He felt HORRIBLE and the other kids made him feel even worse.

 

[katydid23]

These parents are being ridiculous and unwilling to accommodate someone with special needs who deserves to go to school.:twocents:
My daughter's pre-school was nut-free- we just couldn't bring peanut snacks or ones made on the same assembly-line with nuts, and kids had to wash their hands- no clothing changes required!
My daughter also knows a little boy, a good friend who has a peanut allergy. She accidentally gave him a Peanut M&M (unbeknowst to me) while he was at our house. (We also keep Peanut Butter in the fridge) He immediately spit it out and I gave him liquid Benadryl and called his mom. He was okay. Didn't need an epi-pen. His mother brings special desserts for him and asks Coldstone to serve his ice cream separately. It can be managed without being a major inconvenience for everyone involved!!! No need to home-school.

THat boy is lucky that his allergy is not as advanced. I would have no problem if the child was not severely allergic. But the girl in our school could never have eaten a peanut m n m without being in the hospital afterwards.
She breathed in the traces of peanuts on a boys hoodie and passed out within minutes.

 

[JBean]

If it was as simple as that I would agree with you.

I would just be grateful that my child's only inconvenience was washing their hands and leaving their peanut products at home and not saddled with a severe peanut allergy. I would be honored to teach my child that they could make such a HUGE difference in another's life by following these rules.

More and more places are requiring peanut free zones so this is not such an oddity anymore. Asking the kids to wash their hands twice a day and rinse their mouths will probably make this school have the lowest rate of absenteeism and sickness!

I just think it is neat to show these kids that the whole group can really help a single individual. She has this allergy through no fault of her own and these parents make it sound like she has some sort of disease. GASP! she's different!

I would like to think the parents at my kids's school would have asked if they could do more if my child were in this position.

 

[katydid23]

I think the issue in my mind goes to the level of the child's allergic reactions. If it is just a matter of a severe reaction, but no question of death , then it seems fine. But imo, if you bring a child to an environment, where a small innocent mistake COULD KILL THEM--then it is too burdensome on the other kids, imo.

I have NO problem with peanut free zones and washing and rinsing mouths routinely.
But at the same time the children with deadly and extreme allergic reactions should be asked to go to smaller more private schools where things can be managed more successfully. imo

 

[katydid23]

I would just be grateful that my child's only inconvenience was washing their hands and leaving their peanut products at home and not saddled with a severe peanut allergy. I would be honored to teach my child that they could make such a HUGE difference in another's life by following these rules.

More and more places are requiring peanut free zones so this is not such an oddity anymore. Asking the kids to wash their hands twice a day and rinse their mouths will probably make this school have the lowest rate of absenteeism and sickness!

I just think it is neat to show these kids that the whole group can really help a single individual. She has this allergy through no fault of her own and these parents make it sound like she has some sort of disease. GASP! she's different!


I would like to think the parents at my kids's school would have asked if they could do more if my child were in this position.

My 6 yr old did ALL of those things. Yet through no fault of her own, a cookie that was supposed to be nut free, was wrapped in plastic and zipped in her backpack. Her friend, severely allergic, looked into a different pocket during girl scouts to see the project my kid brought, and within moments she was
gasping for air and her face was swollen and distorted. Her epi pen saved her.

Is it fair that my daughter would have to experience KILLING her friend accidentally with an innocent 6yr old mistake?

 

[LinasK]

THat boy is lucky that his allergy is not as advanced. I would have no problem if the child was not severely allergic. But the girl in our school could never have eaten a peanut m n m without being in the hospital afterwards.
She breathed in the traces of peanuts on a boys hoodie and passed out within minutes.

I used to be one of those parents who felt inconvienienced, especially when I worked with a woman whose allergy included the smell. I used to bring back my Pad-Thai left-overs from lunch and she would go ballistic. I didn't understand the severity, I just thought she didn't like it, and it was one of my favorite lunches from a nearby restaurant. I'm much more tolerant now that I understand the effects.

 

[LinasK]

My 6 yr old did ALL of those things. Yet through no fault of her own, a cookie that was supposed to be nut free, was wrapped in plastic and zipped in her backpack. Her friend, severely allergic, looked into a different pocket during girl scouts to see the project my kid brought, and within moments she was
gasping for air and her face was swollen and distorted. Her epi pen saved her.

Is it fair that my daughter would have to experience KILLING her friend accidentally with an innocent 6yr old mistake?

That's an accident that couldn't have been planned for, except that that's why this girl needs to keep her epi-pen on hand at all times, but it's not fair to banish her from Girl Scouts...

 

[cluciano63]

I wonder how this child can go anywhere...to a mall, to a grocery store, an airport, anywhere at all....if she is indeed of such danger of even catching a sniff of peanut-related products...
Or what if the mailman had a peanut butter sandwich and then touched the mail...it goes on and on...
I don't think it will be possible to create a peanut-free world...not sure what will happen if this type of allergy continues to increase and has the risk of fatality that this child has.

 

[katydid23]

I used to be one of those parents who felt inconvienienced, especially when I worked with a woman whose allergy included the smell. I used to bring back my Pad-Thai left-overs from lunch and she would go ballistic. I didn't understand the severity, I just thought she didn't like it, and it was one of my favorite lunches from a nearby restaurant. I'm much more tolerant now that I understand the effects.

To me, it is not about being inconvenienced,not at all.

It is about the fairness for all. Like I have said, if a child is not SEVERELY allergic, then I have no problem. But if a child is so extremely allergic that they could die if they breathe in peanut traces, then they should not be in a large school, imo/

 

[jjenny]

I wonder how this child can go anywhere...to a mall, to a grocery store, an airport, anywhere at all....if she is indeed of such danger of even catching a sniff of peanut-related products...
Or what if the mailman had a peanut butter sandwich and then touched the mail...it goes on and on...
I don't think it will be possible to create a peanut-free world...not sure what will happen if this type of allergy continues to increase and has the risk of fatality that this child has.

I don't see how someone with such sever allergies can go to a grocery store, an airport, or a mall. All of these places have peanuts.

 

[katydid23]

That's an accident that couldn't have been planned for, except that that's why this girl needs to keep her epi-pen on hand at all times, but it's not fair to banish her from Girl Scouts...

Perhaps I am being unfair. But I do know that IF my little girl had accidentally killed her friend that day, she would NOT be the same happy go lucky 18 yr old she is now.

And we had just moments to get that epi-pen in her. That is cutting it too close for my tastes.

 

[katydid23]

I don't see how someone with such sever allergies can go to a grocery store, an airport, or a mall. All of these places have peanuts.

She could not go very many places. She had never been on a plane, but now she probably can because they do have nut free flights.

And that was one reason they wanted her to go to school, because she deserves to have some normalcy. I understand that and was sympathetic to that--until of course my own child almost killed her.

But they were right that elementary school was probably one of the easiest places to make 'peanut free.'
Compared to malls and movie theatres and amusement parks.

I know I probably sound mean, but it was a traumatic experience. I am sure her life and her family's life is a thousand times more traumatic, so I will just let it go.

 

[jjenny]

Peanut free flight just means airline won't serve peanuts. Airlines don't check every passenger to make sure they don't have any peanuts with them.