SIDEBAR #19- Arias/Alexander forum

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:stormingmad:

Now I'm really mad.

Frickin' lawyers. Incompetent or crooked accountants.

:stormingmad:
 
Evening everyone (or anyone-:floorlaugh:) :seeya:
Just finished watching Rear Window on TCM. What a great movie.
I love that TCM has Hitchcock Sunday's this month. I also watched The Trouble With Harry and Vertigo (my favorite) today.
So how goes it??
 
Is there a hearing tomorrow or not?
 
Is there a hearing tomorrow or not?

If there is, its not for CMJA. Surprise, surprise. :floorlaugh:

The hearing was postponed until Friday, October 4th. In the meantime, CMJA is sitting all by herself in a small cell 23 hours a day.
 
If there is, its not for CMJA. Surprise, surprise. :floorlaugh:

The hearing was postponed until Friday, October 4th. In the meantime, CMJA is sitting all by herself in a small cell 23 hours a day.

Isn't there a hearing for CA this week?


gee whiz, where is everyone?
 
Answering Machine Messages

WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll assimilate you later.
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Hello, you're caller number nine!
(Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and (BEEP)
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious."
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP

(Rod Sterling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead-this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight Phone".
Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.
(In a bored voice:) Heaven, God speaking...

Lucifer speaking. Who in he!! do you want?

Thank you for calling the Metropolitan Church of the Holy Bible. Today's commandment is Number 6, Thou shalt not... er... Bear a... er... Shalt not witness thy... uh... Neighbour's, Oh, I mean, false... er... Shalt not commit a bear... Dern...
This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.
(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.
The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape.
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

10 Reasons God Created Eve

10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden, because he wouldn't ask for directions.
9. God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.)
8. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment.
7. God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage.
5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.
4. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools.
3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault.
2. As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone."
1. And the No. 1 reason of all: God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared, "I can do better than that."

Does Your Cat Own You?

Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?
Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?
Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks your butter?
Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?
Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?
Do you kiss your cat on the whiskers?
Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?
Does your cat sleep on your head?
Do you like it?
Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?
Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?
Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?
Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?

Does Your Dog Own You?

You believe every dog is a lap dog.
If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.
You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids.
You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog.
You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.
You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog.
No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dogs.
You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself.
You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when you know where his lips have been.
You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood. You know their names.
You let the neighbor dog sleep over.
You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog.
Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.
When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice.
You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first.
You talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers.
Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over.
 
So Caring
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room,
'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met all those years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he turned his shotgun on me and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will get you sent you to jail for 30 years?'
'I remember that too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...
"I would have been
released today"!

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially
for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain - with a glorious and all-conquering past..
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....
an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "Look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?!
This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later, the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull......
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety.
The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors".
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
"Catatonics and High Colonics"...... No go.
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds".... Still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable again !
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts"..... not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts"..... No way.
"Freaks and Cheeks"..... Still no good.
"Loons and Moons"..... forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--Odds and Ends"
Everyone loved it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Ladies, wishing you all a good night. Please don't have too much fun without me!

:eek:fftobed:
 
OHHHHHHHHHHH- good!
Does that thing in Florida have to spill the beans about what really happened or does she get to plead the 5th?

It is reported she cannot plead, but you know how courts and judges go!
 
Besides, Frasier isn't on yet. Hallmark has a movie on 'til 11:30 :eek:kay:
 
Isn't there a hearing for CA this week?


gee whiz, where is everyone?

-----------
Hi daisymae. For what its worth I'm here.:floorlaugh: They cancelled the hearing for tomorrow, DT. needs more time to fart around. For two people who wanted out, KN. and JW. sure waste a lot of time. I dont even remember what the extra time is for. I am miserable..:pullhair: I have divertic and Ulcerative colitis. I think the divertic is acting up, I'm spending a lot of time trotting, cramping and feeling rotten. I just ate Bisquick pancakes :floorlaugh: I'm not supposed to but I'm sick of being hungry.I almost died from all this 6 years ago. I bleed. Three transfusions.
and there sits ja. with a healthy colon.
I watched Fraiser last night. They showed an ad. for the Christmas "stories" to begin I think at Thanksgiving. Darn!! they are on 24/7.. That means no 2 hours of Fraiser!! Christmas is beautiful and I thank God but it is also depressing. OMG all I have done is moan, I'm so sorry. I do have to check and see if they out out anything on Elaina. Such a beautiful child. Be back..
 
-----------
Hi daisymae. For what its worth I'm here.:floorlaugh: They cancelled the hearing for tomorrow, DT. needs more time to fart around. For two people who wanted out, KN. and JW. sure waste a lot of time. I dont even remember what the extra time is for. I am miserable..:pullhair: I have divertic and Ulcerative colitis. I think the divertic is acting up, I'm spending a lot of time trotting, cramping and feeling rotten. I just ate Bisquick pancakes :floorlaugh: I'm not supposed to but I'm sick of being hungry.I almost died from all this 6 years ago. I bleed. Three transfusions.
and there sits ja. with a healthy colon.
I watched Fraiser last night. They showed an ad. for the Christmas "stories" to begin I think at Thanksgiving. Darn!! they are on 24/7.. That means no 2 hours of Fraiser!! Christmas is beautiful and I thank God but it is also depressing. OMG all I have done is moan, I'm so sorry. I do have to check and see if they out out anything on Elaina. Such a beautiful child. Be back..

BBM :eek: :eek:verreaction:

Hope you feel better soon, Nore. :seeya:
 
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