I really think it's both .. but I can't see that someone would want to be like JA at all .. I can't even imagine being so obsessed with a man that I would do all the things she did. Like what was she going through internally that made her follow Travis on dates, slash his tires, sneak into his house etc .. a lot I would imagine, but at this stage nearly anyone else would go into therapy! The special element of someone like JA is that she didn't even have enough insight to do that .. she basically has the mindset of 'I want it, therefore it must be right' and if someone else's stance gets in the way of that then she just tears them down until their opinion or rights mean nothing .. to her, which is all that matters.
I'm kind of amazed that she got as far as she did in life without some kind of intervention .. I don't know what would have been available, but every time we follow a case there are numerous signs that this is where someone was headed, but opportunities for others around them to do something about it are very limited.
I am not an expert on Arias' love life. However, my guess is that Arias was always a "Stalker Ex-Girlfriend." Arias was always psychotic, combative, manipulative - all of her previous boyfriends more than likely share a common story: "After Arias and I broke up / before we started dating / when we dating, Arias and I would "bump" into each other at the strangest places. I emailed my friend saying that I was taking my car to the dealership for an oil change - and Arias just happened to be there looking at cars .... I was in the waiting room at my dentist for my appointment - and Arias just happened to be there too, out of all the dentists Arias had the same one as I did."
Arias more than likely decided to end the relationship with her previous boyfriends. The break up was her idea - Arias was tired of them. I doubt anyone broke up with Arias - if they tried, Arias - more than likely - emotionally blackmailed them, had a tantrum. Eventually, for Arias boyfriends prior to Travis Alexander - Arias moved on, and, on her terms.
Arias' previous boyfriends that were relieved to have Arias out of their lives could have known, "Arias is psycho - therefore I will not engage her in any physical activity, I will not allow her talk me into being friends with benefits, I will change all of passwords, I will tell everyone I know that Arias is not welcomed."
Travis Alexander - it seemed - was trying to get away from Arias. However, it was on his terms - not hers. Arias was not ready to let Travis Alexander go. Travis Alexander "fell" into the friends with benefits trick - he did not change his passwords - he did not stop communicating with her. Travis Alexander kept communicating with her - and, giving her information about his schedule, whereabouts, the company that he was keeping. He did not put his friends / roommates on Arias Alert (meaning that if Arias was near - something was wrong - please help).
Travis Alexander was the perfect prey for Arias - Travis Alexander was too kind, too forgiving, and too trusting. I do not think that Travis Alexander could give Arias the "cold" shoulder because doing so made him feel guilty.
The pictures of Travis Alexander the last day that he was alive - he does not look happy, satisfied, or in love. He looks tired, weary, and scared - the picture of Travis Alexander laying on his bed with his head looking over his right shoulder - IMO - Travis Alexander looks beaten down.
Travis Alexander seemed to me as if he knew the truth - that Arias was dangerous and was a jeopardy to his safety & well being. I think that the truth about Arias made Travis Alexander feel badly - horrible that he felt this way about another human being, and, that another human being was filled with darkness.
I wish that Travis Alexander would have had someone in his life who would have taken the burden of Arias away from him - someone that would have said: "If anyone sees Arias near Travis - do not leave him alone. Travis give me your cell phone - you are getting a new one with a new number and will not communicate with Arias in any way. Arias is going to be told that you are going on a mission trip. Contact Arias' family and let them know that Arias is not welcomed at Travis Alexander's house - or around his friends."
I have witnessed the steps taken during bad breakups - I have been told, "Mark is not dating Jenny any longer - she had been here with us in the past on holiday - if you see her - know that she is not welcomed, and, is not to be with Mark." I've witnessed the "persistent" ex boyfriends that show up unannounced "returning" property that have been told: "She has gone off to visit her family in Sweden."
Barnes and Noble has a book section regarding "How to break up with a Psycho Girlfriend / Boyfriend; Signs that you are Dating a Psycho; If You Go to Bed Thinking Your Girlfriend is Going to Kill You in Your Sleep It's Time to Break Up (how to get out alive); Being Called / Texted 200 Times A Day Doesn't Mean She Loves You; You Cannot Talk or Look at Anyone: She Can Keep in Touch with Ex Boyfriends."
I think that Arias manipulated Travis Alexander so much - that he felt sorry for her. Which made Travis Alexander feel as though he owed her something - that if she showed up before daybreak, he had to let her in. On June 4, 2008, Travis Alexander could have persuaded Arias to go to a restaurant to eat breakfast. At the restaurant - he could have said that she is better than having sex before marriage - and that she deserves more - and he wants her to have "more." At the restaurant - he could have contacted as many friends as he could have saying that Arias was in Mesa and he was uncomfortable. Then he could checked into a hotel room - telling them that no one can know which room he is in (even say that he has a protective order against Arias).
Travis Alexander was too kind to do these counterariasm (techniques to protect himself against the real life threatening danger Arias). Travis Alexander could not give Arias a "moving" speech that was lie - "I want to take you out for breakfast - we need to celebrate - I want to enjoy you - at breakfast I want you to tell me the 50 places (to see before you die) that you want to see together in the next ten months." Knowing that he was saying these things just to get Arias to the restaurant so that he could leave her there - check into undisclosed hotel.
I think that Arias was always psychotic - she just never met anyone that was as kind as Travis Alexander. Arias' other boyfriends were happy to use counterariasm techniques to become free of her - or, her Arias left her other boyfriends because she was done with them.
All Travis Alexander wanted to do was to move on with his life without Arias as his girlfriend, partner, wife. This did not give Arias the right - an excuse - a reason to stab him almost 30 times, slice his throat from ear to ear, and shoot him in the head.
Arias is evil - and always has been. We see her parents on the police interrogation video basically saying, "we are not stunned - we always knew something was wrong with our daughter." The reaction of Mr. and Mrs. Arias shows that Arias has always been evil.
I am relieved for Travis Alexander's loved ones that there has been justice for Travis Alexander (with the jury's verdict of guilty). There are no words to describe the senseless loss of a young man with so much potential - so much more joy to give - so much more help to give - with so much more life to live just because Arias was mad that Travis Alexander did not want her.
