Silly String Birthday Party

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beesy said:
Ugh! that woman disgusts me! I also lost a son Goody and I don't remember being concerned with my looks or having fun dining out. I have 2 other children and we did go to a Halloween party about 3 weeks after he died. I did it for them only. I enjoyed watching them, but could only put on a happy face for about 2 hours. What annoyed me is one of my mother's friends came over to me and said she was glad to see me out! It seems today people don't want you to "mourn". You're supposed to just bounce right back after the initial shock. I hardly think that was Darlie's problem though. She certainly wasn't drinking and toasting so what was left of her family could still have a nice dinner out! She was doing that for Darlie. I went out so my other 2 kids could still have a fun Halloween. The more I hear, the more I want push the plungers myself!
My son was hit by a car when he was six and I was much like you describe. I went to functions and family get-togethers, etc for the other members of the family, but usually sat in a corner in a fog. I even tried drinking for awhile but could never get drunk. Ran into an old friend who said the "sparkle" was gone. Darlie was definitely detached, and I think adjusted in advance to the loss of the children. That is one of the things that confuses me so about this case. There isn't enough evidence to show that it was preplanned, but both she and Darin bounced back way too soon for it to be just different grieving processes. They would have had to have turned on a dime to get that accepting that soon. I guess we are supposed to believe that they just skipped over denial and anger and went right to acceptance, ready to celebrate a lives well lived for the heavenly crossovers. Nobody makes that transition, not the coldest among us. People need time to adjust. So when did they do their adjusting?
 
A question to Beesy and Goody. Did you crash and burn many times? I did. I know this sounds personal but (to me) it's related to Darlie and her reactions.
 
SallyLu said:
A question to Beesy and Goody. Did you crash and burn many times? I did. I know this sounds personal but (to me) it's related to Darlie and her reactions.
I don't know if I crashed and burned. I can tell you it was the deepest pain I have EVER felt in my life. I swear it went all the way thru my soul. Mostly, I was in such a deep depression without anyone to talk to so I internalized most of it. I think what kept me sane was my three year old. I could not bail out on her.

I don't understand Darlie's reaction at all. Even if I had killed my son in a moment of anger or rage, I think I would have been so devastated I just might have gone catatonic (sp?) . If my child had been brutally murdered by strangers in my home, I think I would not have been able to communicate with people, let alone pretend everything was hunky-dorey and dance around the cemetery with silly string, no matter who I was doing it for.

And that image of Darlie and Darin taking the toys off of the dying wreaths left in their front yard by well wishers and tossing them back and forth in a mock basketball game is even more mindblowing than the silly string dance. How could either of them been so insensitive and still claim they were grieving?

I believe it was Dana and Darin even less because unlike Darlie and Darin, Dana really was grieving and devastated by the murders. She would have never been able to do such a thing.

Personally, I think they had just made some kind of decision about shopping their story and they were celebrating the coming of that brass ring they were so sure was headed their way. Darlie was arrested that night, Darin and Darlie Kee are said to have signed a contract with an agent two days later. All coincidence? You got me, but it sure makes one pause, doesn't it?
 
Goody said:
And that image of Darlie and Darin taking the toys off of the dying wreaths left in their front yard by well wishers and tossing them back and forth in a mock basketball game is even more mindblowing than the silly string dance.

Good grief, I'd forgotten about that disgusting show they put on. You're right, it's even more shocking than the silly string party. Nelda Watts saw Darlie & Darin throwing teddy bears back and forth; Darlie would cheer when Darin lobbed it in the back of the Pathfinder. Then he took a flag off one of the wreaths, climbed into the fountain & stuck it in the top. This was 12 days after their sons were murdered...sickos.

Ya know what's funny? On cross exam, the defense never suggested that Watts mistook Dana for Darlie. They couldn't use that angle, because Nelda had lived across the street from the Routiers for 3 years & she darn well knew what Darlie looked like. (Besides, Darlie had very blonde hair, and Dana was a brunette).

It was definitely Darlie whooping it up with Darin. Absolutely inexplicable behavior for two "loving" parents, but it happened nonetheless.
 
Goody said:
My son was hit by a car when he was six and I was much like you describe. I went to functions and family get-togethers, etc for the other members of the family, but usually sat in a corner in a fog. I even tried drinking for awhile but could never get drunk. Ran into an old friend who said the "sparkle" was gone. Darlie was definitely detached, and I think adjusted in advance to the loss of the children. That is one of the things that confuses me so about this case. There isn't enough evidence to show that it was preplanned, but both she and Darin bounced back way too soon for it to be just different grieving processes. They would have had to have turned on a dime to get that accepting that soon. I guess we are supposed to believe that they just skipped over denial and anger and went right to acceptance, ready to celebrate a lives well lived for the heavenly crossovers. Nobody makes that transition, not the coldest among us. People need time to adjust. So when did they do their adjusting?
I don't know Goody, I honestly don't. The first week my husband and I took turns "cocooning". If he was having a really bad day or portion of the day, he'd
curl up in a ball upstairs and not talk to anybody, then the next day, I'd do it. Everybody wants to help, but how many times can you hear "I'm so sorry" and get hugs from near strangers before you break down? When you mentioned your friend saying the "sparkle" was gone, it dawned on me that Darlie never lost hers that we saw. She looks sort of sad in the pix at the police station, sad for herself.
She can say time and time again that didn't kill her babies, but her face didn't show it. It wasn't the lack of tears, it was the lack of shock. Where was her vacant look that the rest of us had? Which does bring up the pre-planning. Hey for all we know, they often talked about it in jest, more money for them and more time to party and then Darlie decided to do it. Maybe they were just happy the boys were gone. Who knows? Another thing, she called them babies all the time. Was this a detatchment from the actual boys she killed? She only liked them as babies? Hateful beast
 
Mary456 said:
Good grief, I'd forgotten about that disgusting show they put on. You're right, it's even more shocking than the silly string party. Nelda Watts saw Darlie & Darin throwing teddy bears back and forth; Darlie would cheer when Darin lobbed it in the back of the Pathfinder. Then he took a flag off one of the wreaths, climbed into the fountain & stuck it in the top. This was 12 days after their sons were murdered...sickos.

Ya know what's funny? On cross exam, the defense never suggested that Watts mistook Dana for Darlie. They couldn't use that angle, because Nelda had lived across the street from the Routiers for 3 years & she darn well knew what Darlie looked like. (Besides, Darlie had very blonde hair, and Dana was a brunette).

It was definitely Darlie whooping it up with Darin. Absolutely inexplicable behavior for two "loving" parents, but it happened nonetheless.
I know Miss Mary, just sickening. Hadn't noticed the defense passed on that line of questioning very good call for them. Yes, she did have very blond hair, bleached nearly white and it was pretty darn big.
 
Mary456 said:
Ya know what's funny? On cross exam, the defense never suggested that Watts mistook Dana for Darlie. They couldn't use that angle, because Nelda had lived across the street from the Routiers for 3 years & she darn well knew what Darlie looked like. .
It didn't come up until the punishment phase and then not until Darin testified that it was Dana, not Darlie. By then, other family members had already testifed as had Nelda Watts, so it couldn't be challenged. At least that is what I have understood.

Mary456 said:
(Besides, Darlie had very blonde hair, and Dana was a brunette).

It was definitely Darlie whooping it up with Darin. Absolutely inexplicable behavior for two "loving" parents, but it happened nonetheless.
I agree. I definitely think it was Darlie and Darin out there whooping it up, but I thought Dana had bleached her hair, too. She had blonde hair on the Leeza Show. The younger sister had red hair at the trial, according to authors, but I don't recall anyone ever saying that Dana was a brunette. Even Darlie Kee has blonde hair, albeit probably from a bottle which is where most blondes get it.

One other point....that image of Darlie and Darin whooping it up in the front yard shows Darin displaying his emotions, too. I don't know why anyone thinks he was any more emotional about the loss as Darlie was just becasuse he shed a few tears at appropriate moments. There are several instances where he shows himself to be just as lacking in the grief process as she was. I think he was just as detached and that the truth about him and his true invovlement in this case comes out before Darlie dies.
 
Actually that's what I used to say about this case. I lost a very close friend in 1987 and some friends and I did some strange things. Her birthday was 7 days after she died and several of us had a beer party on her grave. However, we were sitting down, not whooping it up. Simply toasting her. She was a big drinker, by the way, a party girl, but a sweetie. We didn't tell anybody else because it sounds a little weird I know, but she didn't mind.

Oh gosh Beasy when I lost a good friend in the late 70's his wife and I not only drank a beer with him, we sat on his coffin, at the viewing to do it. Well we tried anyway, we wanted to include him. There was only she and I there at the time and he wouldn't have minded either. His two favourite girls together toasting him one last time.
 
cami said:
Oh gosh Beasy when I lost a good friend in the late 70's his wife and I not only drank a beer with him, we sat on his coffin, at the viewing to do it. Well we tried anyway, we wanted to include him. There was only she and I there at the time and he wouldn't have minded either. His two favourite girls together toasting him one last time.
Oh cami, that's so sweet. We were only 18, nearly 19, not of legal age to drink. Plus being in a small upright Southern(7,000) town made it seem odd. Did you get to sit on the casket? We sat right on her grave and toasted her and cried and shared stories, and cried some more. She'd have loved it. Thanks so much for sharing that!
 
I have just started reading about this case. I can't believe a mother could do what Darlie obviously did!

We lost our first 2 sons and I can tell you that we certainly weren't celebrating anything in those first two weeks. Our family probably celebrated the odd days that I actually got myself dressed in the morning! At Christmas our first year we went out to the cemetery and had a beer together (hubby and I) but I can assure you there were no smiles on our faces!

I guarantee that 2 weeks after the death of our sons I couldn't give 2 hoots about anyone else and sure wouldn't have been holding a grave side party to assist anyone else cope with their deaths!

We have 2 beautiful sons here on earth now, one biological and the cutie in my sig tag we adopted from Korea last year :)

Jayne
 
AussieAussie said:
I have just started reading about this case. I can't believe a mother could do what Darlie obviously did!

We lost our first 2 sons and I can tell you that we certainly weren't celebrating anything in those first two weeks. Our family probably celebrated the odd days that I actually got myself dressed in the morning! At Christmas our first year we went out to the cemetery and had a beer together (hubby and I) but I can assure you there were no smiles on our faces!

I guarantee that 2 weeks after the death of our sons I couldn't give 2 hoots about anyone else and sure wouldn't have been holding a grave side party to assist anyone else cope with their deaths!

We have 2 beautiful sons here on earth now, one biological and the cutie in my sig tag we adopted from Korea last year :)

Jayne

Ahhh, Jayne, what a beautiful baby. Isn't it a pity that a mother like Darlie, who had it all, three beautiful sons, could sacrifice them for her own selfish needs?

Have a beer on me, honey...you deserve it!
 
Mary456 said:
Ahhh, Jayne, what a beautiful baby. Isn't it a pity that a mother like Darlie, who had it all, three beautiful sons, could sacrifice them for her own selfish needs?

Have a beer on me, honey...you deserve it!
Thanks Mary ;) I will have a champagne instead though, tastes have changed as I have got older lol

It is people like Darlie that made life so difficult for me while we were trying to have another baby. In the end it took 10 years and lots of heartache and yet there are people like Darlie, Diane Downs, Susan Smith etc etc that see it as ok to throw away their babies. Too sad.

As we were going through the process to adopt and were studied by the govt to make sure we would be good parents I couldn't help but think it is so wrong when animals like Darlie can keep having babies with no drama!

Anyway we couldn't be happier with our lot in life now and have two very very special boys!

Take care
Jayne
 
Dani_T said:
He's beautiful Beesy. I'm so sorry for your loss :(
Thank you Dani. It's nice to be able to show him off. That's such a wonderful site. You should pass it along to anyone who has a SIDS baby. :angel: There have been so many angels added since I've added Danny, its so sad.
 
Goody said:
It didn't come up until the punishment phase and then not until Darin testified that it was Dana, not Darlie. By then, other family members had already testifed as had Nelda Watts, so it couldn't be challenged. At least that is what I have understood. [/color


Goody, if I'm wrong, please sock it to me, but Nelda Watts was never brought up in Darin's trial testimony, nor in his testimony in the punishment phase.

If Darin claimed it was Dana playing toss the teddy bear with him, he said it after the trial, maybe on one of the talk shows. But he sure didn't say it when it counted, during the trial.
 
I agree. I definitely think it was Darlie and Darin out there whooping it up, but I thought Dana had bleached her hair, too. She had blonde hair on the Leeza Show. The younger sister had red hair at the trial, according to authors, but I don't recall anyone ever saying that Dana was a brunette. Even Darlie Kee has blonde hair, albeit probably from a bottle which is where most blondes get it.

Dana has light brown hair in the Silly String Video. It was colored blond on the Leeza shows. Not bleached white like Darlies aaack
 
accordn2me said:
Beesy,

My deepest sympathy to you and your husband. Danny was precious. The card said he was 4 lbs. 7 oz. Looking at the picture, I would have guessed he was heavier. Absolutely adorable!
thank you
 

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