South Hadley,MA Phoebe Prince 15 kills self over bullying

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Coming up on CNN, shortly...(11:57 est) a friend of Phoebe will be talking about why she was bullied...well, the excuses they used, at any rate...
 
Paladine-

I just wanted to take a second to thank you for keeping Phoebe's case in the forefront.

Sadly, your MLK quote applies to this situation perfectly.

-Amanda
 
You know...I've been thinking. Once I put aside my anger at these kids, I feel an inkling of compassion. Why? Because these Student's NEEDED supervision. NEEDED boundaries. And the adults, by doing nothing, told them their actions WERE acceptable. Those officials failed the accused, as well, imo.
 
amandab said:
Paladine-

I just wanted to take a second to thank you for keeping Phoebe's case in the forefront.

Sadly, your MLK quote applies to this situation perfectly.

-Amanda
Click to expand...

Thanks, Amanda :) And I thought the same thing about the quote, yesterday...sadly...
 
I am not able to watch any if someone could post a recap I would appreciate it very much. : )
 
CNN: It was Phoebe's friend, Nick Shebas (sp ?), who was also a pallbearer. He said it was jealousy. The football player was dating Kayla Narly, and he had a relationship of sorts with Phoebe, that started the feud.

Prince Family spokesman recounted the last walk home, an energy drink being thrown from a car, taunts of "Irish *advertiser censored*, Irish *advertiser censored*..." and he said they said "why don't you go home and kill yourself"...he qualified that taunt with a "supposedly" or something...he said she then went home, took a scarf her Sister gave her for Christmas, and hung herself. He said this was beyond "bullying"...this was "persecution".

They mentioned the outrage in town at officials and calls for the resignation of the Principal and Superintendent.

That's all I remember...for now.
 
The two are unrelated. The right to free speech is a protection against governmental prior restraint, you can still be prosecuted for the content of your speech or the actions others take as a result of your speech under various laws, and you can be subject to civil liability (money damages) for defamation.

If her child is a minor she can be held responsible for the actions of her child both civilly and criminally depending on the situation.
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Right , and have not read whole thread so someone may have said this, but free speech does not extend to inciting danger. Classic example, can't yell "fire" in a crowded theater.

I think regulation of the social networking on the internet is sadly lacking. The proliferation of bullying, trolling, hacking, defamation, malicious malware, spyware and identity theft is incredible and virtually (no pun intended) unchecked. It is disgusting. Laws must keep pace. Write your congressional reps.

I am a teacher and can tell you meanness is at an all-time high. It is nothing new but people used to be afraid of the consequences from schools and more importantly, parents. Not so much anymore. For example, we used to get by with skipping school or smoking on school grounds but if we threw a punch or harassed someone we were out on our azzes and our parents supported the school. Now, truancy and smoking are punished to an almost absurd degree while bullies run rampant.

Unfortunately this pervasive idea that parents must protect kids from absolutely everything harmful is also one reason why kids doing wrong go unpunished as well. Sorry, know it won't be a popular take, but I believe it. For every legitimate complaint I hear about a kid who needs to be protected, on the other side you can bet there is a parent who will fight to the death to protect their little bullying darling, doing anything they can to see that the kid avoids any consequences. Schools get overwhelmed with the arduous fact-finding and avoid the whole thing.

I have told my kids, I will always help you, but you have to work to keep yourself bully-proof in this environment. Bullying is heartbreaking, the victim's response early-on is key. It is not about blaming the victim, it is about facing reality.

My heart goes out to this family.

Eve
 
Paladine said:
This is the journalist that was/is Phoebes angel, imo...Cullen brings Phoebe to life in his writings. I sent him an email thanking him for standing for Phoebe, yesterday. He emailed me back last night with a simple "Thanks". :) Might be a repeat but it's a moving piece...

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/01/24/the_untouchable_mean_girls/
Click to expand...

From the link, BBM:

“And so instead of confronting the evil among us, the reality that there are bullies roaming the corridors at South Hadley High, people are blaming the victim, looking for excuses why a 15-year-old girl would do this. People are in denial.’’
Click to expand...
 
eve said:
I have told my kids, I will always help you, but you have to work to keep yourself bully-proof in this environment. Bullying is heartbreaking, the victim's response early-on is key. It is not about blaming the victim, it is about facing reality.

My heart goes out to this family.

Eve
Click to expand...

I appreciate your perspective as a teacher in the midst of the maelstrom that is public school, Eve. And I back you 100%.

So true that children have to learn to be "bully-proof" (read "self-reliant/self-defensive" to me), and not solely depend on those around them to stand up for them. Just yesterday I talked with my kindergartener as we drove home from school...she was telling me how some classmates were pushing and shoving in line and "not giving me my space." Then when she told them to stop they made whiny baby-voice taunts...you know how 6-year-olds can be. She stood her ground and in her strongest voice said "STOP. NOW."

My presumption is that she had her teacher's attention at that point (the one with the "No Bully Zone" poster on her classroom wall, LOL). I told my daughter that I was very proud of her and to keep standing up for herself and not take that crap. I hope in middle and high school and beyond, she continues to defend her boundaries and maintain self-respect and awareness of her surroundings, in the face of how very cruel people can be for no earthly reason.

I wish, I wish, that Phoebe had gone home and talked to her family again, or talked with a counselor at school, instead of the path she chose. I suppose everyone wishes that. But I hope she is at peace now.
 
Paladine said:
a local topix link with some VERY interesting comments around the time of Phoebe's death. "Gus" is an official, I can't recall offhand which one, the principal or super...

http://www.topix.com/city/south-had...ine-if-apparent-south-hadley-suicide#comments
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Well, that was an interesting link. As of January 27 some random poster on a topix page knew the names of the EXACT four girls who were responsible for the torment, yet the school claimed that it didn't know what was going on. The four girls named by the poster are the four charged as adults so far in addition to the two boys.

jmoo
 
raeann said:
Well, that was an interesting link. As of January 27 some random poster on a topix page knew the names of the EXACT four girls who were responsible for the torment, yet the school claimed that it didn't know what was going on. The four girls named by the poster are the four charged as adults so far in addition to the two boys.

jmoo
Click to expand...

I noticed that. AND...a person also knew about the taunts on the way home...and he POSTED on Jan. 17th!

Jan 17, 2010 I work with a kid who was close to her. he has shown me provacative text messages that she sent him. When I saw the news last night, I immesiatly put 2 and 2 together. When I sAw him@ work today I asked him if he was okay and or whatever. He told me that she texted him before she took her own life, that on her walk home from school today, a car drove past jet and either the passenger and or the driver hung there heads out the wind and yelled sexual derrogatory remarks at her. According to my source.whom I know is 100% accurate. They called her a *advertiser censored*; ect. Those are the fact. It's none of my business
Click to expand...

http://www.topix.com/city/south-had...outh-hadley-suicide?threadid=ED5OJRIKHNRH54LA
 
How much could she have told her parents? She likely felt trapped. It was alot of sexually abusive taunts, from my understanding. She might have had to admit she "did it" or sent texts? I wonder and fear she felt shame...:(
 
reen said:
I appreciate your perspective as a teacher in the midst of the maelstrom that is public school, Eve. And I back you 100%.

So true that children have to learn to be "bully-proof" (read "self-reliant/self-defensive" to me), and not solely depend on those around them to stand up for them. Just yesterday I talked with my kindergartener as we drove home from school...she was telling me how some classmates were pushing and shoving in line and "not giving me my space." Then when she told them to stop they made whiny baby-voice taunts...you know how 6-year-olds can be. She stood her ground and in her strongest voice said "STOP. NOW."

My presumption is that she had her teacher's attention at that point (the one with the "No Bully Zone" poster on her classroom wall, LOL). I told my daughter that I was very proud of her and to keep standing up for herself and not take that crap. I hope in middle and high school and beyond, she continues to defend her boundaries and maintain self-respect and awareness of her surroundings, in the face of how very cruel people can be for no earthly reason.

I wish, I wish, that Phoebe had gone home and talked to her family again, or talked with a counselor at school, instead of the path she chose. I suppose everyone wishes that. But I hope she is at peace now.
Click to expand...

Hi reen,

Good for your daughter. The first line of defense always rests with the victim herself. Children who react this way, with confidence, are much less likely to be targeted. Those who run to the nearest adult have always been picked on. There are so many venues for the harassment to take place now and they are more far-reaching, too. I tell my students they cannot allow themselves to care about what bullies think of them, but must work on making sure that the bullies know they don't want to mess with them, usually because the student does not allow the bully to have power over them. They are looking for power, do not given them any. Is it fair or "safe" that kids have to deal with this? No. That ain't changin' the fact.

Eve
 
This case could be double-edged. We are showing children they matter once they die from abuse...we need to make sure they know, from this date forward, they don't have to die to matter, to get help, to get protection. Enough, it's over!
 
They must all be so proud of themselves, now. When one Googles South Hadley, literally dozens of articles about this incident show up. It is going to be the first thing read by anyone looking to buy a home there, to start a business, anyone thinking of visiting the area for shopping or perhaps a business meeting. The complete denial and lack of response by the school officials will reflect poorly on this community for YEARS to come.

jmoo

Edited to add.....I do not for a minute blame all of the community for this....there has been a wonderful response by both students, parents and community members condemning these bullies and their attacks. I am personally just extremely disappointed that school officials are responding so poorly to this whole incident.
 
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