South Hadley,MA Phoebe Prince 15 kills self over bullying

[Paladine]

Well, State Rep's backed off a third party investigation...wonder why...

Pol: School bigs acted properly
No longer seeking review in bully case
By Hillary Chabot, Jessica Van Sack and Marie Szaniszlo
Friday, April 9, 2010 - Updated 4m ago

"South Hadley state Rep. John Scibak yesterday backed off his demand for an independent review of the relentless bullying surrounding Phoebe Prince’s suicide, saying he’s now satisfied school officials acted properly and should not face criminal charges.

“I had several conversations with the district attorney and the School Department, I don’t think an independent review is warranted at this time,” Scibak told the Herald.

He said the probe he requested Wednesday was meant to provide an objective perspective that would deflate tensions surrounding the highly charged case - not target school officials.

“I didn’t want to start a witch hunt,” Scibak said.

Meanwhile, the state’s social services agency acknowledged yesterday it had not received any reports of abuse against Prince, 15, from South Hadley High School staffers.

Alison Goodwin, spokeswoman for the Department of Children and Family Services, said that although it is unusual to receive reports about child-on-child abuse, so-called 51A reports of suspected abuse and neglect are another tool for school officials."

"Embattled School Superintendent Gus A. Sayer again defended school officials and teachers.

“There hasn’t been any reason to discipline staff members in connection with this incident,” Sayer said. “We haven’t found any wrongdoing on the part of staff members.”

Sayer also blasted the Herald’s recent coverage of the case, saying, “I just wonder why the Herald can’t be a little kinder in its treatment of the stories.”

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/re...(Home+-+BostonHerald.com)&utm_content=Twitter

 

[jjenny]

From the same defense lawyer:

"A daring da indicts 9 kids so that their lives can be ruined and she can call a few press conferences.
And the accused? The kids?
We will let them rot and call it “:justice""
http://www.bostoncriminallawyerblog...ing_indictments_continue_to_spread_guilt.html

 

[Paladine]

From the same defense lawyer:

"A daring da indicts 9 kids so that their lives can be ruined and she can call a few press conferences.
And the accused? The kids?
We will let them rot and call it “:justice""
http://www.bostoncriminallawyerblog...ing_indictments_continue_to_spread_guilt.html

Sure looks that way. Looks like the kids will pay and the adults will get off without consequence. It's not right, imo. Sayer lied. He needs to go, imo. And Smith? What kind of ship was he running? It sounds like a mad house. Kids cowering in bathrooms...I'm just disgusted.

 

[Paladine]

Letter to the Boston Herald: "Sounds like neglect"

If, in fact, the South Hadley school district is found to have neglected its responsibilities that led to the death of a student, then it will, sadly and once again, prove the old adage that there are only two kinds of school officials - those who do the right thing and those who prefer the refuge found under the nearest desk.
- B. C. D., Wareham

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/letters/view.bg?articleid=1245840&srvc=rss

 

[Paladine]

VIDEO: April 8, 2010

"'We're Going to Take Back Our School'
Is deadly teen bullying case turning town against itself?"
http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgu...&ndsp=21&tbs=isch:1&ei=s72-S_qFFoWBlAfR5ZnSBw

Sorry about the funky, long link...I found it in an image search...

 

[Paladine]

Boston Globe
"Prince pleaded for help at school
But prosecutors say officials sent her back to class"

"The stunning disclosure that Prince herself notified administrators at South Hadley High School about the bullying, an encounter previously unknown even to her family, was made public for the first time yesterday in court documents filed as three of her former schoolmates pleaded not guilty to charges that they tormented the 15-year-old freshman for months.

School officials, under heavy criticism for failing to protect Prince against an alleged three-month campaign of slurs and intimidation, have insisted that Prince never told them about the bullying and that they only learned about her troubles a week before her death. A subsequent school investigation revealed no previous incidents, officials said.
Prosecutors, in contrast, found that Prince endured months of harassment and physical threats before she hanged herself Jan. 14 after what they have called a “torturous day’’ of bullying.

Yesterday, they asserted that Prince spoke directly with a school administrator about being threatened with violence Jan. 7.

Darby O’Brien, a friend of the Prince family, said the family was unaware that Phoebe had made a personal appeal to administrators, but said the disclosure reinforces the family’s contention that officials had sufficient warning to act more vigorously on Prince’s behalf.

South Hadley Superintendent Gus Sayer could not be reached for comment. He has previously defended the school’s handling of the situation, saying officials were unaware of the extent of the harassment.

 

[Natal]

My take on this is that bullying has been around for as long as kids have been around and probably will stay that way. As someone who experienced this sort of thing in school myself I find it hard to have any sympathy for the kids who have been charged in all of this, but, I suspect that they had no idea of what the consequences of their actions would be and I think it very unlikely that any of them wanted her actually dead. There is an irony in that they are probably experiencing similar feelings and fears now that Phoebe had experienced and while they will probably be scarred for life as a result, perhaps they will learn some compassion from the experience.

I think the saddest thing in all of this is not the bullying so much as the fact that Phoebe had so little faith in her family, friends and society that she felt her only option was to kill herself. Everyone failed her, including herself. Society needs to do a better job at educating both children and adults about how to deal with these sorts of personal situations and provide mechanisms through which they can be addressed. A fundamental failure of the education system is the that it doesn't teach people how to be people - instead it uses the approach of "throw them together and let them sort it out themselves, maybe they will get lucky and figure it out".

Maybe I'm a cynic, but it seems to me that much of the "anti-bullying" campaign that does go on has more to do with the facade of doing something than actually doing it. It's all about training, orientation, talking, talking, talking and saying the politically correct feel good things, but when it comes to facts on the ground it doesn't look like very much has changed at all in spite of all that posturing and hot air. It's all fresh paint on the surface, but underneath the wood is still rotting.

It would be nice if the schools would do something about it instead of making the appearance of doing something about it (does that sum it up? I'm having difficulty expressing this).

Unfortunately I don't think that the system and the people in it are capable of that. So we will just have to wait for the next Phoebe, who will come as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow

 

[thebear14]

I'm starting to wonder the same. If she had some true friends then how afraid could they be? If they get beat up for talking it would instantly be world wide news.

If the taunting and ostracizing (sp?) started early enough, could it be that people she might have been friends with never got close to her (because they were trying to avoid getting targeted as well)?

That's an interesting thought - that people wouldn't get close to her because the taunting started so early, which based on the indictment paperwork it appears that it did. It seems, through what I have found, that nobody mentioned Phoebe until after she died. Then there's random updates via twitter or facebook of I miss Phoebe or wish she were here, etc. I even checked updates for around her birthday, the end of November, and there's nothing mentioning her at all. Granted a lot of kids have their settings on private so I can't see their wall or twitter posts and what have you, but the very few profiles I can view and that have mentioned Phoebe don't mention her until after she died.

 

[thebear14]

Well, now, that's going to leave a mark.

Definitely - and hopefully this helps the family with a civil suit, should they decide to bring one. On the one hand I understand if they just want all this to be over with, especially considering their 15 year old daughter's personal information is all over the news. On the other hand, this whole thing could obviously set a strong legal precedent that this type of relentless, systematic bullying cannot be overlooked and must be dealt with early and that if school officials do not deal with it accordingly, they will be held accountable. That is my strong hope for all this.

 

[irie]

A fundamental failure of the education system is the that it doesn't teach people how to be people - instead it uses the approach of "throw them together and let them sort it out themselves, maybe they will get lucky and figure it out".

All of us parents can learn an important lesson from this. We can begin by teaching our children to love their siblings and respect their parents, and also to respect other people. Whether or not morality will be taught at school, it MUST be taught at home: "Children, love your neighbor as yourself! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"

 

[raeann]

Sure looks that way. Looks like the kids will pay and the adults will get off without consequence. It's not right, imo. Sayer lied. He needs to go, imo. And Smith? What kind of ship was he running? It sounds like a mad house. Kids cowering in bathrooms...I'm just disgusted.

In a way, there would be great difficulty with holding the teachers to criminal charges. While the fact that they didn't do anything is a big problem, in the end....they didn't DO anything to Phoebe either. It was the abusive kids after all who were threatening, hitting, slamming into lockers, screaming hate speech into classrooms, etc. etc. etc. HOWEVER, I think there would be more than enough justification to cause some dismissals from school staff. As far as the administration goes, it appears that the schools and perhaps they themselves are going to be defendants in some pretty serious civil cases, at least.

jmoo

 

[raeann]

I think he might be out of jail by now and under home arrest.

LOL....please refer to the original post and the j/k posted there. (j/k=just kidding, by the way). I personally don't advocate hitting ANY kids, whether they belong to other people or not!

jmo

 

[thebear14]

The NYT's take on the docs...there's so much I could have chosen to quote. But right now...it doesn't feel like it matters. I just feel so sad for Phoebe. I think I may even cry for her tonight. No child should be left in pain like that. And then treated with such disrespect after death by some of her classmates and school officials! SHAME on Gus Sayer for saying she never asked for help! She kept it to herself, he said...wow...so, I just picked a couple of paragraphs. This poor kid...

"Documents Detail a Girl’s Final Days of Bullying"


http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/09/us/09bully.html

I totally agree with you. I just finally read the NY Times article and it is really breaking my heart. I feel literally sick just thinking about it. I'm only 23 - I have no children - but after reading everything I really just want to give her a hug.

I was just on of the Facebook groups devoted to Phoebe reading through the posts and saw that someone who says that he is her cousin posted a little note for her on there. Choked me up quite a bit while at work

Also, it's interesting that her family apparently didn't know she had gone to school officials on her own. I guess it's interesting for a lot of reasons, but it makes me wonder if her family didn't realize just how bad it was or the reasons behind the harassment. If most of it stemmed from her relationships with the two boys, which are believed to have been sexual at this point, it is likely that she didn't really want to get into the reasons why she was being called these things and facing this type of torment. This is my complete and total speculation, and just a thought in my mind which is not even thinking very clearly at the moment. We obviously don't know all the facts of what her parents knew and what she told them. Her mother knew something was going on as since she did contact school officials at least twice, but whether she knew all of it, we just don't know right now. I guess this is sort of pointless but just thought I'd throw my thoughts out there

 

[raeann]

One thing that I have learned from reading about this case, and other links to similar ones is that any parent who is dealing with this issue should follow a very basic plan---DOCUMENT everything! Ask for e mail or regular mail confirmation of appointment times with counselors, principals, teachers etc. At the meetings--take notes, times, dates, quotes of responses to your questions and concerns. After the meeting--ask for staff members to send you a written plan of what their actions are going to be in response to the incident. Write up a summary of the meeting from your own notes and send a copy of that by registered mail to the school administrator you have spoken with, and also to their superior, if possible. Request that a follow-up meeting be scheduled within a few days so that they can up-date you on what actions they have completed, and what punishments have been exerted. These actions not only give the parent recourse to prove they have reported the problem, they show the administration that you will not "go away and forget about the issue".

jmoo

 

[Laurence]

It seems, through what I have found, that nobody mentioned Phoebe until after she died. Then there's random updates via twitter or facebook of I miss Phoebe or wish she were here, etc. I even checked updates for around her birthday, the end of November, and there's nothing mentioning her at all. Granted a lot of kids have their settings on private so I can't see their wall or twitter posts and what have you, but the very few profiles I can view and that have mentioned Phoebe don't mention her until after she died.

When I first came across this story I wondered very quickly if many people at the school even knew her. Something that has struck me is the lack of pictures of her. There are zillions of camera phone, and kids use them all the time (often for very stupid things).

But in looking around, the pictures we are seeing are mostly from her friends in Ireland, the recent ones that appear to be from her family that showed up a few days ago, and the one that may have been taken in Latin class a few days or so before the 14th.

They can't all be hiding behind private settings, I think there just aren't pictures out there... because not that many people knew her. They may have known OF her, with all the bully activity in the halls and such, but that's it.

My HS was about 25% larger than SH, and when I graduated I knew by sight abotu 95% of my class, but that dropped off significantly for the other classes. Freshmen... I maybe knew 25 kids, maybe could vaguely recognize a third of them.

Some of these people that claim to have been her friend are 17, 18 yrs old. Seriously, how many seniors really pay attention to 9 graders? Where would they meet, I rarely had classes that contained kids from other grades.

 

[irie]

The NY Times article is the first I've read that uses the word hazing to describe what happened to Phoebe.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/09/us/09bully.html

 

[Laurence]

Also, it's interesting that her family apparently didn't know she had gone to school officials on her own. I guess it's interesting for a lot of reasons, but it makes me wonder if her family didn't realize just how bad it was or the reasons behind the harassment. If most of it stemmed from her relationships with the two boys, which are believed to have been sexual at this point, it is likely that she didn't really want to get into the reasons why she was being called these things and facing this type of torment.

That makes a lot of sense.

 

[Boytwnmom]

about how much she shared with her family about the specifics of what was going on at school. I can imagine a 15 yr old girl not being entirely comfortable telling family they are being called the type of names used here. I imagine that she felt very alone.

I put a great deal of responsibility on the school here, simply because unlike other more internet based bullying campaigns, this one seemed to occur in very public places in the school where the authorities knew or should have known what was occurring. I get the sad impression that it was simply condoned, that these popular kids could "rule" the school and teachers and administrators would simply turn their heads or at the least not take it seriously.

Just like the responsibility of an employer to provide a work environment free from hostility, there should be an even greater duty to provide children an educational environment free from hostility. Bullying is really too small a word to describe the criminal assaults and harassment that occurred here.

I live in MA, not far from So Hadley. My boys have played teams there. My home and our school has a zero tolerance policy and this event has been the subject of much discussion and has brought the concept and consequences of "bullying" into a horrific light for my kids and their friends and all of us parents. To think of that poor girl, alone and tormented ceaselessly in public while seemingly no one cared is just heartbreaking. I want my boys to understand that it's not enough for you not to bully but you have to speak up if you see someone mistreated. It is never cool to be mean-it is always cool to be nice and you are known by your actions and the actions of those you associate with. I'm also reminded again of just how essential it is to be in your kids face, to police their facebook and phone, to know their friends and friends parents, know where they are and what they're doing at all times and to ask the million questions that drive them nuts. Ultimately you can only rely on yourself to protect your child.

I totally agree with you. I just finally read the NY Times article and it is really breaking my heart. I feel literally sick just thinking about it. I'm only 23 - I have no children - but after reading everything I really just want to give her a hug.

I was just on of the Facebook groups devoted to Phoebe reading through the posts and saw that someone who says that he is her cousin posted a little note for her on there. Choked me up quite a bit while at work

Also, it's interesting that her family apparently didn't know she had gone to school officials on her own. I guess it's interesting for a lot of reasons, but it makes me wonder if her family didn't realize just how bad it was or the reasons behind the harassment. If most of it stemmed from her relationships with the two boys, which are believed to have been sexual at this point, it is likely that she didn't really want to get into the reasons why she was being called these things and facing this type of torment. This is my complete and total speculation, and just a thought in my mind which is not even thinking very clearly at the moment. We obviously don't know all the facts of what her parents knew and what she told them. Her mother knew something was going on as since she did contact school officials at least twice, but whether she knew all of it, we just don't know right now. I guess this is sort of pointless but just thought I'd throw my thoughts out there

 

[thebear14]

When I first came across this story I wondered very quickly if many people at the school even knew her. Something that has struck me is the lack of pictures of her. There are zillions of camera phone, and kids use them all the time (often for very stupid things).

But in looking around, the pictures we are seeing are mostly from her friends in Ireland, the recent ones that appear to be from her family that showed up a few days ago, and the one that may have been taken in Latin class a few days or so before the 14th.

I've been wondering about this as well and was actually going to ask at some point. I thought a couple of the pictures that recently showed up were newer, but there was a comment made by one of the girls who was apparently a "friend" that they were taken in Ireland. Are there any recent photos of her, besides the one taken shortly before her death? The most popular photo of her is apparently undated. I'm not sure about the ones that Darby O'Brien recently gave to the news.

If she did have close friends here, I don't see any of them speaking out or posting pictures of her on any of the numerous memorial pages out there. Does anyone know if Phoebe actually had a MySpace/Facebook account? I know girls were making comments about her but it seems they were making comments on their own and each others accounts. I'm guessing it would have been taken down by now anyway. I believe I recall an article talking about how it appeared that she had adapted as she posted pictures of her and friends on some site or another, but this was when I first started reading about the case so don't have that saved or anything.

I'm sure any account she had would have been taken down, but you would think some pictures would still be floating around. It's all very confusing though.

As I've been typing this I remembered I came across a picture that I think might be more recent, but there's no date so can't say for sure. Attaching it for those who may not have seen it.

 

[raeann]

I still can not understand how this principal is still using the "we only knew about it for one week"! So what? Even if that were true, it takes only one day----for that matter, only one HOUR-----to ask questions, pull the abusers out of class, call their parents to come and get them and expel them from school! There are processes in place for students to schedule hearings to get reinstated if they have a legitimate defense. These kids should have been out of there, off campus, and ordered to stay away from Phoebe and her family permanently. There is no excusing their lack of action with any pitiful one week plea! I have personally seen principals deal with far less serious incidents than these with immediate action on the EXACT day that the problem occurred. I have even seen kids suspended out of school immediately for disrupting classes by yelling, when that yelling was not even directed AT anyone----they were booted and punished for the simple act of disruption of the other kids education time. That is as it should be, if they choose not to participate in learning, fine, but they have no right to prevent others from doing so for even one incident!

jmoo