So true.
Sadly my exact experience and my ex grew up having once lived in Brookfield.
In my case my father-in-law (very old school, pretentious voice with no financial success of his own) to this day lives with my 50yr old ex (and my "pretty, firm and 10 year younger replacement).
NBC was too involved in his son's life and and unfair expectations re the family name I suspect.
In my circumstances - refuge helped, centrelink too, lawyers invoices soaked up settlement so no deposit for a roof over our heads of our own, we rent.
He 'forgot' these past few years to make seeing the kids a priority beyond a few hours each year - so that and having control of the remote control, being allowed to express their opinions and not seeing me be 'hurt' by him anymore is priceless freedom we never dared dream of. Heehee.
There are no friends or family to reach out to though. He eneded those a decade ago and sadly some people thought we were 'successful' (and so,are naturally fairly pleased I/we came unstuck I suspect) with our 'appearance' (we were not successful on any level in hindsight but certainly had the look of it!).
The double degree as you say needed dusting off and isn't worth it's stamp today. The future? Who knows - I trust no one and men? Forget about it.
But after tears and managing thoughts without any form of medication I continue to stand up in court and fight off all his new challenges.
Keeping us housed, fed, healthy and happy until all adults and truly free of him is priority.
If my daughter were forced to spend alternate weeks alone with him - I don't know that leaving would have been an intelligent decision. I stayed to protect her from ever being left for even an hour in his sole care - emotional and psychological damage are hard to prove when a man 'appears' to have so much to offer as opposed to an old, suddenly single mum...
We left, months later Allison went missing. I relate to aspects of her life reported but more to what I suspect never will be.