The Duggar Family: 18 Kids & Counting
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GreenEyes727
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I try to refrain from talking about the Duggars because I could really get ignorant because I have issues with ignorance and overly religious people. I shouldn't let them bother me. I just see them as being very ignorant to the fact that God gave them brains as well as reproductive organs. They are taking chances now of having a baby with Down Syndrome or another birth defect. I know, their way of thinking is that they will take whatever God gives them. I am 50 but even if I had a chance to have a baby 5 years ago, I wouldn't have because my nephew has Down Syndrome (born to my best friend at age 27) and while he has been such a gift, he has to live with his disabilities, his enlarged tongue that makes it hard for him to speak clearly and be understood, etc.
I must say that I am totally amazed that Michelle looks as good as she does. If I had 18 children, I would have bags under my eyes from here to China. I would probably weigh 300 pounds or more. I would get a burst of energy for 5 minutes a day, enough to go to the bahtroom and grab a cup of coffee. Maybe there is a secret just in the way that she thinks. Maybe we can really learn from her. Have you ever watched SuperNanny? What makes the Duggar children so calm and so different from the children on SuperNanny? I guess there is something to be said for calm parents, for one. The Duggar children are very disciplined, so there really is no room for acting up or doing hateful things. So maybe alot of parents could learn from them, at least in these arenas. My youngest brother was born when I was 12 and I loved being a big helper and changing his diaper or rocking him to sleep but that was by choice. I can't imagine having to do so many chores as a child or teenager but the Duggar kids do not know any difference. The Duggar kids are happy. Would they be happier if they could play PlayStation or X-Box and have friends over, chat on the Internet and text message their friends every 5 minutes, dress in modern clothing, go to the mall and eat pizza, etc? They will never really know and we will really never know. We can guess that they would be happier, because that is the norm and that is what we experienced and what the kids of today do.
I really don't think the Duggar kids are going to end up in therapy for not having one-on-one parent time. Again, they don't know anything different. Everything that they do is normal to them. They know they are loved by their parents and maybe it's because of their faith that they feel loved by God too and because of this, they will not end up in therapy because the only thing that they would have to complain about would be that they didn't get to do normal things, because of what they have learned just from having the television shows which point out how different they are. I am sure that Michelle and JimBob have explained to all of the kids that the grass is always greener and since they don't get to see the grass on the other side, they wouldn't know.
So I refrained from being nasty and I found the good in the Duggars. I still think they are weird and I do not agree with them having one more baby. I think that is playing God to a degree because Michelle's chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome are getting greater and greater as she ages. I don't wish that on them, but I don't think it's right to take chances like that with someone's life. My opinion.
I must say that I am totally amazed that Michelle looks as good as she does. If I had 18 children, I would have bags under my eyes from here to China. I would probably weigh 300 pounds or more. I would get a burst of energy for 5 minutes a day, enough to go to the bahtroom and grab a cup of coffee. Maybe there is a secret just in the way that she thinks. Maybe we can really learn from her. Have you ever watched SuperNanny? What makes the Duggar children so calm and so different from the children on SuperNanny? I guess there is something to be said for calm parents, for one. The Duggar children are very disciplined, so there really is no room for acting up or doing hateful things. So maybe alot of parents could learn from them, at least in these arenas. My youngest brother was born when I was 12 and I loved being a big helper and changing his diaper or rocking him to sleep but that was by choice. I can't imagine having to do so many chores as a child or teenager but the Duggar kids do not know any difference. The Duggar kids are happy. Would they be happier if they could play PlayStation or X-Box and have friends over, chat on the Internet and text message their friends every 5 minutes, dress in modern clothing, go to the mall and eat pizza, etc? They will never really know and we will really never know. We can guess that they would be happier, because that is the norm and that is what we experienced and what the kids of today do.
I really don't think the Duggar kids are going to end up in therapy for not having one-on-one parent time. Again, they don't know anything different. Everything that they do is normal to them. They know they are loved by their parents and maybe it's because of their faith that they feel loved by God too and because of this, they will not end up in therapy because the only thing that they would have to complain about would be that they didn't get to do normal things, because of what they have learned just from having the television shows which point out how different they are. I am sure that Michelle and JimBob have explained to all of the kids that the grass is always greener and since they don't get to see the grass on the other side, they wouldn't know.
So I refrained from being nasty and I found the good in the Duggars. I still think they are weird and I do not agree with them having one more baby. I think that is playing God to a degree because Michelle's chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome are getting greater and greater as she ages. I don't wish that on them, but I don't think it's right to take chances like that with someone's life. My opinion.
they do get internet time, michelle stated once on one of the shows they monitor their internet usage. there has been shows where they travel ( they have a hockey team bus for travel) they go to museums, so they are getting expoxsed to the world.
my parents kept foster kids so at one time there was 13 kids...you get used to it and it becomes your daily thing not something weird or freaky it just is, im sure these kids feel the same way.
I think eventually Michelle will be unable to carry a baby to term, her body has yet to really have a chance to really recoop after each pregnancy. But who knows maybe she is one of those women who will be able to conitue until shes 60 (gasp) lol
As for their doing this reality show...you gotta give it to them for being creative enough and resouceful enough to do it and it seems to attract alot of attention and its not any different then actors and actress who get paid to make a movie, this is just addition income for them!
I'm not for having that many children myself but its not my place to say who can and cant and why...
my parents kept foster kids so at one time there was 13 kids...you get used to it and it becomes your daily thing not something weird or freaky it just is, im sure these kids feel the same way.
I think eventually Michelle will be unable to carry a baby to term, her body has yet to really have a chance to really recoop after each pregnancy. But who knows maybe she is one of those women who will be able to conitue until shes 60 (gasp) lol
As for their doing this reality show...you gotta give it to them for being creative enough and resouceful enough to do it and it seems to attract alot of attention and its not any different then actors and actress who get paid to make a movie, this is just addition income for them!
I'm not for having that many children myself but its not my place to say who can and cant and why...
I wasn't being nasty, I was being honest. I think they are good people but 18 children is a bit much. I feel sad for the children in a way...yes, I see love but also, from what I have seen on their show, it seems apparent that the children do most of the work. I worry about their diet, their having no real sense of being individuals, their futures, Michelle's health etc...
Yes, they have the right to have as many children as they want and God bless them for it but, come on...
Enchanting_eyes
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SeekingJana - What a great post.
It's not my place to tell someone how many kids they can have, oo but sometimes I wish I had that power. Heck my Daddy had something like 14 brothers and sisters ( OK so there was only two girls ) most died before I was born, and they tend to like to follow each other into the afterlife.
But 18 kids, yeah no... Your doing a huge disservice to all your kids, there is no way that each and every child can have one on one time with the parents every day. While I am sure that their children are all loved and cared for it just isn't possible. OK well it is if the parents spend less then 30 minutes with each child.
Personally I think they are being incredibly selfish and feel they are not doing it because they love children but because that is what their beliefs states. If they have so much love for children why can't they become foster parents, or adopt. There are so many children in America that need a loving and stable home, why not help them, and show them the love that they need.
I also wonder about the Mother's health, she is essentially a baby factory, pumping out at least one child per year. The body is incredible that it can heal itself and such, but one has to wonder what toll it is taking on her organs after 18 kids. I would not be surprised if she did not have some sort of health problem that resulted in having so many kids. She will probably have kids until she starts menopause, or dies ( more then likely a result of being continually pregnant ) I find that very sad.
According to Wikipedia ( I know that, that site is not always a reliable source of info.) They use the buddy system where the older children help the younger children. That was a nice way of saying that the older children are the ones that are actually doing the parenting to the younger children.
So yeah that is my thoughts on the matter.
E*E
It's not my place to tell someone how many kids they can have, oo but sometimes I wish I had that power. Heck my Daddy had something like 14 brothers and sisters ( OK so there was only two girls ) most died before I was born, and they tend to like to follow each other into the afterlife.
But 18 kids, yeah no... Your doing a huge disservice to all your kids, there is no way that each and every child can have one on one time with the parents every day. While I am sure that their children are all loved and cared for it just isn't possible. OK well it is if the parents spend less then 30 minutes with each child.
Personally I think they are being incredibly selfish and feel they are not doing it because they love children but because that is what their beliefs states. If they have so much love for children why can't they become foster parents, or adopt. There are so many children in America that need a loving and stable home, why not help them, and show them the love that they need.
I also wonder about the Mother's health, she is essentially a baby factory, pumping out at least one child per year. The body is incredible that it can heal itself and such, but one has to wonder what toll it is taking on her organs after 18 kids. I would not be surprised if she did not have some sort of health problem that resulted in having so many kids. She will probably have kids until she starts menopause, or dies ( more then likely a result of being continually pregnant ) I find that very sad.
According to Wikipedia ( I know that, that site is not always a reliable source of info.) They use the buddy system where the older children help the younger children. That was a nice way of saying that the older children are the ones that are actually doing the parenting to the younger children.
So yeah that is my thoughts on the matter.
E*E
several have posted about the lack of one-on-one parenting and too much work for the kids so i thought i would respond from my own experience.
in big families that are loving, like mine was, the parenting is mostly by example. my auntie worked 7 days a week on a dairy, and delivered babies 'in her spare time' as she put it, laughingly. usually about 2 a week, but she took care of her ladies all during their pregnancies, as well. we also had huge gardens, livestock to tend to, all the stuff that needs to be done on a farm.
we all had time with her, maybe not alone, but she spent all her time with us when she was at home. she loved us all, and it showed in all the ways you can love a child. only one of us was her natural child, and except for him, none of us were even blood related to her. (most were related, however distantly, to my uncle.)
most of the boys were dumped on her for various reasons. most times they didnt want to go home, and only if their parents made a fuss, did they go home, for a while at least. they would rather sleep on our floor than their own beds. we often had 12 boys sacked out on the floor, sometimes more.
so many kids made a lot of work, naturally. there was a list on the refrigerator that had the needed daily stuff on it, and post-it notes for the other stuff. (check garden, calf needs wormed, sweep feed room, etc) she cooked most of the food, with help from whoever was there. the only 'law' was to clean up after ourselves. there were no assigned chores, partly because we never knew who would actually be there from day to day. i did dishes most of the time, because i liked to, (still do). if one of the boy's girlfriends was there they would usually help. (if they didnt, they werent a girlfriend for long LOL) so many doing little things made it easy.
we all helped around the house and farm. it was never 'required' it was just normal. usually uncle would say 'time to feed up (or whatever)' and a troop of boys would get up and go with him. they loved tractor work, especially. and anything that required a 4wheeler.
we were not home schooled. we did not have babies living there. either would have been fun, as i look back on it. home schooling wasnt an option in those days, and we played with enough babies when they visited.
all of us turned out ok, nobody is rich or famous, but none of us are deadbeats or criminals. we all know what love is, and have loved and been loved.
we all miss her terribly.
in big families that are loving, like mine was, the parenting is mostly by example. my auntie worked 7 days a week on a dairy, and delivered babies 'in her spare time' as she put it, laughingly. usually about 2 a week, but she took care of her ladies all during their pregnancies, as well. we also had huge gardens, livestock to tend to, all the stuff that needs to be done on a farm.
we all had time with her, maybe not alone, but she spent all her time with us when she was at home. she loved us all, and it showed in all the ways you can love a child. only one of us was her natural child, and except for him, none of us were even blood related to her. (most were related, however distantly, to my uncle.)
most of the boys were dumped on her for various reasons. most times they didnt want to go home, and only if their parents made a fuss, did they go home, for a while at least. they would rather sleep on our floor than their own beds. we often had 12 boys sacked out on the floor, sometimes more.
so many kids made a lot of work, naturally. there was a list on the refrigerator that had the needed daily stuff on it, and post-it notes for the other stuff. (check garden, calf needs wormed, sweep feed room, etc) she cooked most of the food, with help from whoever was there. the only 'law' was to clean up after ourselves. there were no assigned chores, partly because we never knew who would actually be there from day to day. i did dishes most of the time, because i liked to, (still do). if one of the boy's girlfriends was there they would usually help. (if they didnt, they werent a girlfriend for long LOL) so many doing little things made it easy.
we all helped around the house and farm. it was never 'required' it was just normal. usually uncle would say 'time to feed up (or whatever)' and a troop of boys would get up and go with him. they loved tractor work, especially. and anything that required a 4wheeler.
we were not home schooled. we did not have babies living there. either would have been fun, as i look back on it. home schooling wasnt an option in those days, and we played with enough babies when they visited.
all of us turned out ok, nobody is rich or famous, but none of us are deadbeats or criminals. we all know what love is, and have loved and been loved.
we all miss her terribly.
You don't get any money back for children once they reach 17. Which I think is stupid since my son was still in High school.
GreenEyes727
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I didn't say you were being nasty. I refrained from being nasty because I get all hot and bothered when I think of this family and their overly-religious, but not-so-smart ways. That's all!
Texana
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SeekingJana, you bring up some very good and thoughtful points.
When the children don't sign up for time with their parents alone, when they don't spontaneously say they love their parents, when they don't seem to have a sense of identity or purpose other than being one of many--
It doesn't matter whether they are the only child or one of many. These aren't good parents.
They're just good at reproducing, and we all know that is not the same thing as being good parents.
The very fact that the parents seem to consider themselves as good parents because they can reproduce easily is something to question.
Edited to add: I do know several large families that homeschool as well, and they are nothing like this.
When the children don't sign up for time with their parents alone, when they don't spontaneously say they love their parents, when they don't seem to have a sense of identity or purpose other than being one of many--
It doesn't matter whether they are the only child or one of many. These aren't good parents.
They're just good at reproducing, and we all know that is not the same thing as being good parents.
The very fact that the parents seem to consider themselves as good parents because they can reproduce easily is something to question.
Edited to add: I do know several large families that homeschool as well, and they are nothing like this.
JMO8778
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SeekingJana,that was an excellent post,and I agree as well,you brought up a lot of good points.
One thing I wanted to mention, is that what a lot of ppl don't understand is that being hyper-religious IS dysfunctional;I know, I was raised that way myself.I was told by a counselor that children raised that way tend to do either one of two things when they become adults:either they will completely adhere to the beliefs,or they will completely rebel against them.I was the latter,and it took me a long time to come to some kind of middle ground and see where the truth really lies,and just how dysfunctional it is to live and believe such radical ideals.
Another thing I wanted to say is that all of us here familiar w. true crime know exactly how revealing a persons words can be.When I saw Michelle announce her latest pregnancy,I noticed she said "we're expecting number 18".Which is just what I thought.She doesn't see those kids as individuals,with individual needs.She sees them as nothing more than numbers,with her personal goal in mind to have as many as she possibly can.
I'm not interested in debating,nor do I plan to respond to any rebuttals.I'm shocked that anyone could take up for this family,(I do have a unique perspective on it) and these are just my thoughts.
One thing I wanted to mention, is that what a lot of ppl don't understand is that being hyper-religious IS dysfunctional;I know, I was raised that way myself.I was told by a counselor that children raised that way tend to do either one of two things when they become adults:either they will completely adhere to the beliefs,or they will completely rebel against them.I was the latter,and it took me a long time to come to some kind of middle ground and see where the truth really lies,and just how dysfunctional it is to live and believe such radical ideals.
Another thing I wanted to say is that all of us here familiar w. true crime know exactly how revealing a persons words can be.When I saw Michelle announce her latest pregnancy,I noticed she said "we're expecting number 18".Which is just what I thought.She doesn't see those kids as individuals,with individual needs.She sees them as nothing more than numbers,with her personal goal in mind to have as many as she possibly can.
I'm not interested in debating,nor do I plan to respond to any rebuttals.I'm shocked that anyone could take up for this family,(I do have a unique perspective on it) and these are just my thoughts.
Interesting that you say that, JMO8778. My aunt and uncle are hyper-religious. They raised 5 kids; 4 of the kids are religious adults; the youngest child grew up to struggle with drugs and problems with the law. He still has problems. They also took in another young relative when their own kids were grown, and that boy had to move away in his teens because of problems. I've always thought my aunt and uncle were great people and wonderful parents, so it's interesting to hear what your counselor said.
I always thought Jinger and Johannah had a little gleam of a rebel in them. I wouldn't want anyone to go through the problems with drugs and stealing like my cousin, though. Maybe wearing jeans and getting their own apartment will be enough rebellion for Jinger and Johannah!
I always thought Jinger and Johannah had a little gleam of a rebel in them. I wouldn't want anyone to go through the problems with drugs and stealing like my cousin, though. Maybe wearing jeans and getting their own apartment will be enough rebellion for Jinger and Johannah!
And did you notice the reaction of the other 17 children? I don't recall seeing any smiles, any cheers, any hugs...I saw blank stares.
I can defend these parents to a point, but enough is enough already.
Jack
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Mira, What a touching post. I admire anyone who can have a large and loving family, however it is made up.
JusticeForAll
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I know a lot of parents that have only one or two children and spend very little time with them. The children are in school or daycare most of the day and when they get home everyone sits in front of their own tvs, computers or video games. They really don't interact at all. I think it is important for children to have chores and to take time to teach them how to cook, clean, etc so when they get out on their own they can function.
JMO8778
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yes,it's like they didn't even notice what she said.
I feel bad for the older girls,whom she pawns off all the work to.It's ok to say,'hand me a diaper',or 'please get me the baby wipes'..that's just normal helping out.But the older ones literally take over most of the house and child care,so mom can move on to the next one.In their recent interview,you can see that little Jennifer has already been passed onto her buddy,so mom can take care of the newest one.I wonder how she feels about that.Probably like she's been replaced.
A bit of sibling rivalry is expected,but this is an assembly line process!
Hopeful One
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Elphaba
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Mr E, the first thought I had was: "please don't let this lady be coming on to say she is pregnant again". LoL If any pregnancy announcements are to happen, please let it be from the newlyweds (the oldest son).