I want to thank everyone for the warm, warm welcome.
"... I think what JA really meant and the piece implied was it was hard to tell JA no or JA did not accept no answers from TA."
I agree totally. Projection. Whenever JA gives us information about TA, we should just assume she is telling on herself i.e. "he had trust issues", "he demanded an answer".
Ok as I continue delving in to this case aka avoiding putting my , ahem, Christmas decorations away,
I am doing the same thing. I am going to take the laptop into the living room to see if I can't get SOME of the dang decorations off the tree!l
I'm compelled by the Borderline/Narcissist suggestion, though I don't see a lot of obvious narcissist indicators from TA. I've read a lot about Borderlines, and what I do know about them (and Histrionic Personality Disorder) is that they are sexually compulsive and wild. A lot of guys who date borderlines say the women are as crazy as the sex is good. I know with both borderlines and narcissists, they have compassion only for themselves, everyone else is just furniture. I know my narcissistic ex-husband had a rich feeling and emotional life, but he couldn't imagine that I did as well. His feelings were all that mattered.
I also know that borderlines need to feel "special", yet are always looking for evidence that they are not.---and they are always successful, no matter how much they are valued or reassured. My sister exhibits borderline behavior occasionally, and she can turn any situation into a perceived slight. It's the hole that cannot be filled. That matches with JA, with the really very complete and total infiltration of all Travis' most personal areas (diary, email, facebook, etc.) what need is there to access his bank account? To see where he is spending his money or on whom?
However, her composure in the face of EVERYTHING makes me think that there is a deeper sociopath/anti-social personality underlying it all. I don't know, it's hard to pinpoint, and it's very likely she straddles a couple of the cluster B personality disorders (antisocial (which used to be sociopath or psychopath), borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic)
As far as Travis goes, I don't even want to speculate about narcissism. We all exhibit narcissistic traits, and the twenties are times when we can all be very self-centered. Having narcissistic tendencies is very different than having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And something I know about narcissists is that they do not have deep, meaningful, friendships. Their friendships are purposeful (resources, social status, etc), but because they lack empathy there are not many strong or deep friendships. This does not seem to be the case with Travis.
all of this IMHO