Since the verdict I have felt so many things. Hurt, pain, disbelief, shock, anger, bitterness, you name it, I felt it. This is just so WRONG. Movies, stories, even TV shows don't end this way. The villain is not supposed to win over the good guys. I saw Harry Potter this past weekend, and it ended so happily and felt so right. But not this verdict. It is not right, so wrong I can't even put it into words. Evil doesn't win. It wasn't supposed to end this way. Mighty Casey was supposed to strike out, not get out. Over and over, I keep telling myself this, hearing it in my head.
But...it happened, and there's nothing I can do about it. She's out there, God help us all. And yet, I can't seem to totally move on from this. I guess I'm hoping for a sign, something to say that Casey isn't going to become an infamous millionaire living off of her acquittal the rest of her life, something to tell me the devil isn't going to keep reaping rewards from this.
I know she has no motivation to live a normal, settled down life. I know that she'll end up arrested again, maybe even convicted the next time. The waiting is just so horrible. The waiting is killing me. And each day just seems to bring more joy to her and more misery to me. It's just not fair no matter how I look at it. It's just not fair at all that she got away with it. How does this happen? How do we, as a society, set people free because there's no solid, dot connected map or video to show that she did it? When does using common sense, logic, and your gut to make the right decision get shoved off to the side for the sake of entitlement and selfishness?
Justice is not just flawed in this case, it's bent and broken. We'll continue to see verdicts like these in the future, I just know it. We are losing logic and reason to me me me, what is best for me, not justice, but for me, and it's just disgusting. I hope the twelve are able to sleep at night with the law as their crutch, or whatever flimsy excuse they gave. I wonder how they'll feel when she kills again, and they had the chance to prevent it and didn't.
Apparently all you need is a weird family and 31 days, and you're guaranteed an acquittal. How many more cases like this one will now occur? How many more families will be weird and lie on the stand to get their murderous loved one off?
I can't, just can't devote myself to other cases. I was watching Criminal Minds, and an ep came on regarding a child that was kidnapped, and I turned it off. What hurts more than anything is that kids are still expendable, and can be thrown away like trash with no real consequences to the person, most times the parent, that did it. I don't hurt for Casey and whatever the F she does from here on out. I hurt for Caylee, who's lost in all of this, gone like she never existed, a footnote in the life of the Anthony's.
She was and never will be a footnote to me. She is in my heart everyday for the rest of my life. But that's just it, I have to get back to my life, and not let Casey make me miserable. That's not fair to me, not fair to anyone. I have my own life to lead, and I'll be darned if I let Casey continue to get in the way of it.
But it's just so hard, those lingering thoughts, the hurt, the doubt of justice, the doubt in humanity, the want for karma to slap Casey hard...I know it will take time...there's just so much time, almost too much...
I'm just so tired...I don't want to talk about it, defend why I believe she's guilty and the jury was horribly, awfully, dead wrong in their verdict. I don't want to correct facts or posters, don't want to keep hearing about this case or Casey. I'm just tired, and I want to sleep knowing that evil isn't right outside my door...I just can't be sure anymore...this world is just much darker than it used to be, and I hate feeling that way.
I'm just glad I'm not the only one...so many of us hurt for poor Caylee...it is nice to be in a place where people feel like I do. That is helping me move on. That is helping me honor Caylee. We cared when we her family didn't. And we'll continue to care. And you know what? No one, not the Anthony's, not the defense, not even Casey can ever take that from us. And that brings me some measure of peace, maybe the only peace I'll ever get from this case.
What can I do but live, and laugh, and love, and never forget the good and pureness of Caylee and what she could have been and who she could have turned out to be? That is what I must do. That is the only way for me to find true peace and move on...it's just so hard to do right now...
Sorry this was so long. I guess I was talking myself through it all while posting!