confused;7220286]Sorry it took so long for me to get this back up...I wanted to make sure I stated it correctly and answered the specific questions I was asked. Here you are:
Well, I can see you certainly have put a lot of time and thought into your sernario of what has happened. (In my opinion)It is based on some huge assumptions about Matt and Gail, which I guess you drew from things you have read on the internet.
I have never met Gail P...so the internet is the only way for me to gather info....and readily admit some or all of it could be erroneous because you really don't know the "who" behind what's being said. Even people close to GP may not know what was truly going on in their home ...because people can wear many masks.
As for Gail going to a shelter and the time she has been gone...I don't really know what to say. I do have to question the network of friends you mention. We have heard from Arlene, we have heard about Susie Button, we have heard of one or two others who used to work with her, but who else has stepped forward to claim friendship with Gail? Not saying that Gail was unfriendly or anything like that, but it seems strange to me that no one else really has chimed in with how close to Gail they were. Most of the people who are making such a ruckus and leading the search for her are total strangers. I just wonder if she did have people who she was 100% certain she could count on. Did she have a network of friends? Family, yes, I am sure her sister and brother and other family members, but friends...
Gail like most of us, imo, has more friends than she knows. In a situation like this it can can be surprising. The people she went to HS and college with. They have friends, and then they have friends of friends, etc. Maybe the waitress where her family might have gone every Sunday after church---do you realize how many people....in all walks of life a waitress may know? Her priest, or the proprietors of where she hung out when in her teens. The doctors, teachers, the business owners, politicians, etc. The all have friends...and friends of friends too. I've seen it happen...and the list could go on and on and it's tentacles stretch far and wide. It's a blessing of human spirit.
I would have to think Matt most certainly wanted to seperate/divorce, and from what we have heard elsewhere, Gail didn't seem to want to do so. She obviously knew they didn't care for each other anymore (arguments that result in calls to LE), and maybe staying married kept him from being free to move on. Seriously, what exactly about this situation is having his cake and eating too? Being married and having an affair? If Matt and Gail were done, and it's fairly obvious they were, it would have been much easier for him to be with TH if he was divorced. Exactly what fruits of her efforts was he going to miss so badly that he would want to stay in the marriage?
Change is difficult for some people. It's easier for some to manipulate the situation within their own comfort zone....and have it all, per se. His mistress and a wife. Two very different women...physically and more important.. psychologically... based on his wants and needs, his image and his well being.
If the marriage was "done" why didn't he file or leave the home...no one was hog tying him?
If he was so in love with TH, then why didn't he leave the home?
JMO, I don't think MP had to worry about when and where he would find the time to spend with TH or any other women. I think he felt a obligation somewhat to the children as far as time allocated to them, but I picture him not spending much time in the home at all, tbh. The fruits?
Apparently MP enjoys that lake house...and the A Frame was totally hers. It was said GP earned more than he did, so she may have had stock options she took advantage of, a hefty savings and retirement sum socked away, etc. He had a built in loving child care provider in their own home where he didn't have to worry if they had school activities to go to and homework assignments to complete. He didn't have to worry or take the time to pick them up...and make sure they were taken care of. He didn't have to be home to make sure they were fed every night. He didn't have to maintain the home...cook, clean, grocery shop or call the repair man...he had a wife to it all and preoccupied....so he could spend his time with whoever..and when. Maybe he did take care of the kids when GP was working and had to travel, but I'd bet my bippy he wasn't complaining about the money she provided.
Again, why didn't he leave the home if he was so unhappy and had someone else to fulfill him? All he had to do was walk out that door.
One second of time in decision.... ????? Very easy...why?
***TH has a real awakening, imo. Most men after a divorce don't immediately run to the altar again.....and most of the mistresses that were there during the break up..don't end up becoming the new Mrs....especially in MP's income bracket.
Next, why would he want to terrorize her and make her mentally unstable? If he tried to and suceeded, how could anything good come from it? He was obviously busy having an affair. He isn't going to want to take time that he could be spending with TH, to go follow Gail around just to make her scared. If she was scared, he was going to have to deal with her being upset and nervous and whatever other emotions and reactions it produced. My guess is that things were not all that fun around home anyway, and having a terrorized wife wouldn't make it better.
It would serve his purpose of not having to share...pure greed, as someone else has mentioned. He would have total control over the children and gain what she had brought to marriage financially. Have her declared unstable.... push her to suicide ....would certainly accomplish that. I think he had someone else following her and there are many little or subtle things he could do to make her feel unsure, doubting her self and her own sanity. Gaslighting. Some relish in the anxiety they are bestowing on their victim...it's not really a pain-in-the arse mentality.... it's a control issue.
The calls to Diane? Well, I don't know what the truth is there, but we have no context to those calls. We don't know that they were threats. We don't know what they were. They were posted elsewhere for a day or less, and abruptly removed. Why? Were they incorrect? Was it something the family didn't want pursued. I could pick up the phone, dial a number and say- 12 hours, she's got 12 hours. What the heck does it mean? We don't know...12 hours till the kids are supposed to be back? 12 hours till the carpet is dry after the cleaning? 12 hours till her next pill? 12 hours till her show comes on?
I can only go by what was stated. They were said to be "threats"....and by all the reports of GP being scared...and she thought she was being followed, I don't think a wet carpet, a pill or her favorite TV show were foremost in her--- or his mind...especially right after a domestic issue with LE involved and she leaves the home...both times. I thought after a domestic situation the parties involved were to have no contact for 24 hours, and I would think that would include phone calls; but it seems MP was adamant to relay something (after LE leaves) he felt GP should hear...about a 10 or 12 hour time period he knew she had ....and going as far as involving someone else.. hundreds of miles away to do so. Must have been imperative?
As to the claims I have read that he was so controlling of her...I have seen nothing that even points in that direction. It really seems that he went his way and she went hers. We have seen proof that she went back and forth to the lake, for the most part, whenever she chose. She was a SAHM and again from Arlene, spent a lot of time decorating, doing crafts, etc. It sounds like she could, for the most part, spend her days coming and going and doing anything she wanted. It has been stated that she spent lots of time with the kids, but we have been told that Matt coached soccer teams and such too. She seems to have spent lots of time with Arlene without Matt being around. That doesn't really sound all that controlling to me. The only thing I have seen mentioned as 'proof' of his controlling her is that he checked her emails... did he? My family has a primary email account and all of our email comes there. Is my husband controlling me if he looks at that account? I don't know how they had their email set up, I don't recall seeing that mentioned, but somehow, him checking her email doesn't fit the definition of controlling. Did he make her dress a certain way? No, I don't recall that ever being said. Did he make her be home at a certain time? No mention of that. Did he refuse to let her be around her friends? Obviously not. How did he control her??? Gail was the one hacking into his phone to get his messages, putting a tracking device on his car, supposedly hiring a PI to following him, checking credit cards to find receipts of his hotel stays, etc- Not Matt.
I think MP was mostly controlling GP by manipulating her with lies and cunning statements....to be able to do what he wanted to. It's when he realized Gail "knew"...
and she had taken steps to divorce... having enough "proof" in countering everything he was to gain...he lost his control. But there are many types of control...and that is the core of domestic issues. I and many others here have probably been in this situation. You don't have to be married to them. IMO, there's probably more than we know occurring behind the scenes. Intimidation, verbal and emotional abuse are acts of control ...as well as physical. Think about when you get into a verbal argument or disagreement....there is an element of control in dispute as well...and at it's base...some level of fear.
So, where am I going with this? Nowhere really...just pointing out that you have your thoughts and ideas, and that is fine, but that doesn't mean they are the only possibility.
And finally, if Gail is out there somewhere-starting a new life, taking a break, doing whatever (and I pray that she is), then you are correct that she deserves whatever share of assests is hers. The amounts and details would be for the courts to decide, but certainly she deserves whatever is hers.
Fully agree with everything stated in the last quotes confused. Thanks for responding.....and your thoughts and input.
She could have left on her own, but why not contact someone?...Did she really believe that no one cared? Her children? Did she attempt to reach for help many times before and was discounted? Was there something out there better and worth leaving behind her children and everything she accumulated in her life? I really don't think AD is deliberately giving out false information and I don't know Gail. Would she and was she misleading AD? Was it really GP making the withdrawals? IDK. I could be totally wrong about MP, and there are others who may have a motive, agree...but for moment...he's my #1 POI. We've seen it happen too many times in situations like this. JMO, IMO, etc.