Found Safe TN - MCET, 15, Abducted by Teacher, in Maury County, 13 March 2017 #17 *ARREST*

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antechinusRAWR said:
Not flaming, I thought this would come up at some point & I just want to give you all the perspective of a kid who grew up in similar dynamics.


My dad worked long hours & had no clue what was going on in our house. Since we were toddlers (at least) we were manipulated into believing that he was "worse" than she was, that we should be thankful it was only her meting out the violent punishments & that we should also be grateful that she was "kind" enough to keep our "misbehaviour" secret from him so that he didn't get angry & punish us far worse.

We actively worked to hide the abuse from him because she had us convinced that he condoned it. He didn't.

I was an older teen before it began to dawn on me that my supposedly threatening & violent father had NEVER so much as raised a hand to me in anger much less whipped me with the leather belts he had hanging in his cupboard (I only knew about the belts because my mother would drag me into their room by the hair to threaten me & show me what I was in for if I didn't pull myself together & stop crying before he got home). The belief that he was "the bad one" had been so ingrained that realising it was all lies felt like the earth had just tipped off it's axis.

Despite that huge realisation though, the years of conditioning to keep secrets were impossible to overcome.

Sometimes she even claimed he had instructed her to punish us in particular ways if we did xy or z, so there was no point going crying to him - he'd told her to do it anyway. She had him playing a game of good cop/bad cop with us, but he alone had no idea the game existed. In doing so she placed herself in the position of the "nicer" parent while she simultaneously handed out all the violent punishments & daily psychological abuse.

He only found out what was going on when she completely lost it in front of him one day. I was 18 by then, but even decades after that I was never able to tell him the full extent of what would happen when he was at work, because that rule of silence was just so ingrained - it stopped me telling the school counsellors the truth too. Back then it was like I'd been rendered mute, but at the same time it felt like everyone should be able to tell just by looking at me - like every assault & insult was scrawled across my skin for all to read. & after so many years, the incidents all flowed into each other so I could barely formulate it all into recognisable thoughts for myself, much less express it verbally to others. On top of all that there's also the implanted belief that you're just a bad child who forces people to treat you harshly - so throw some guilt & shame into that mix for good measure. Shame is a great silencer.


Short version : My dad never had a clue because our abuser manipulated us so successfully that we actively & voluntarily worked to hide the truth from him & anyone else who might've helped us. By the time I was 7 or 8 we were so conditioned that we didn't even have to be told to lie & hide the truth, it was just an automatic reaction.

So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't assume that this dad knew but sat by & did nothing. It absolutely IS possible for one parent to be completely unaware the other is abusing their kids. As someone who's been through similar (albeit far milder) circumstances re abuse from a female parent & the inappropriate attentions of a teacher, I have nothing but respect & admiration for this dad & the way he's trying to help his daughter & her siblings through all of this. It sure as hell can't be easy :(
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Thank you for sharing this valuable information. :hug: This is one of the reasons I love WS. People are often able to share their own experiences, which can help those of us who have not been in different scenarios.

I had never considered the abuser manipulated the family to this extent, and was able to continue undiscovered for so many years. How awful and sad this makes me feel.

Quite an eye-opener you have given me. Thanks again.
 
Mom24 said:
A few things. To begin with, the school didn't step back because they hadn't fully stepped in. They were bound by law to notify her father as soon as they were notified. Not the next day, or the week after, or two weeks after, but that day. That's educational law in every state, bound by law to report incidences to the parents. No ifs, ands or buts.
Now it appears that LE went to the home of ET for the purpose of a criminal complaint. Something about how that went down is making it sound like someone went to LE to report something much bigger than a kiss. Something big happened, TC knew this wasn't something he could explain away and that's what really drove him to grab ET ( a potential witness) and run. I've danced around this in a few posts, but I'm going to be real blunt here. I think he abducted ET because she could testify against him, I think he planned on going to Mexico and I think he planned on going alone. I have every confidence that had they not been found, ET wouldn't have been alive much longer. You don't bring a gun unless you plan to use it, on someone. I'm fully convinced TC doesn't have the capacity to love anyone, look at what he did to a woman who devoted 31 years of her life to him, look what he did to his children and his grandchildren. Look and listen to the pain in his sister's voice as she's trying to make rational sense out of all of this. He didn't love ET, he needed her to disappear with him and he needed it to look like this was two star crossed lovers and if he got his jollies along the way, so much the better. I really mean it when I say what is going to come out at his trial is going to make our jaws hit the floor. If he was going to Mexico, why head north to an isolated area? Because like all criminals he was taking her to a secondary location. I can't being to express how relieved I am she was found.
Click to expand...

Something much bigger than a kiss happened - agree with this point. Probably why she felt in over her head.
Took her so she would not testify? Not sure on that, she could have, but she was also denying everything and was being rebellious it's possible if he just left that she may not have told anything. He took her because he succeeded in convincing her that she would suffer too if she stayed and he was saving her.
Took her to kill her? Don't agree to this, He achieved his goal to run off with a young girl who he spent a lot of time on grooming her
 
antechinusRAWR said:
Not flaming, I thought this would come up at some point & I just want to give you all the perspective of a kid who grew up in similar dynamics.


My dad worked long hours & had no clue what was going on in our house. Since we were toddlers (at least) we were manipulated into believing that he was "worse" than she was, that we should be thankful it was only her meting out the violent punishments & that we should also be grateful that she was "kind" enough to keep our "misbehaviour" secret from him so that he didn't get angry & punish us far worse.

We actively worked to hide the abuse from him because she had us convinced that he condoned it. He didn't.

I was an older teen before it began to dawn on me that my supposedly threatening & violent father had NEVER so much as raised a hand to me in anger much less whipped me with the leather belts he had hanging in his cupboard (I only knew about the belts because my mother would drag me into their room by the hair to threaten me & show me what I was in for if I didn't pull myself together & stop crying before he got home). The belief that he was "the bad one" had been so ingrained that realising it was all lies felt like the earth had just tipped off it's axis.

Despite that huge realisation though, the years of conditioning to keep secrets were impossible to overcome.

Sometimes she even claimed he had instructed her to punish us in particular ways if we did xy or z, so there was no point going crying to him - he'd told her to do it anyway. She had him playing a game of good cop/bad cop with us, but he alone had no idea the game existed. In doing so she placed herself in the position of the "nicer" parent while she simultaneously handed out all the violent punishments & daily psychological abuse.

He only found out what was going on when she completely lost it in front of him one day. I was 18 by then, but even decades after that I was never able to tell him the full extent of what would happen when he was at work, because that rule of silence was just so ingrained - it stopped me telling the school counsellors the truth too. Back then it was like I'd been rendered mute, but at the same time it felt like everyone should be able to tell just by looking at me - like every assault & insult was scrawled across my skin for all to read. & after so many years, the incidents all flowed into each other so I could barely formulate it all into recognisable thoughts for myself, much less express it verbally to others. On top of all that there's also the implanted belief that you're just a bad child who forces people to treat you harshly - so throw some guilt & shame into that mix for good measure. Shame is a great silencer.


Short version : My dad never had a clue because our abuser manipulated us so successfully that we actively & voluntarily worked to hide the truth from him & anyone else who might've helped us. By the time I was 7 or 8 we were so conditioned that we didn't even have to be told to lie & hide the truth, it was just an automatic reaction.

So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't assume that this dad knew but sat by & did nothing. It absolutely IS possible for one parent to be completely unaware the other is abusing their kids. As someone who's been through similar (albeit far milder) circumstances re abuse from a female parent & the inappropriate attentions of a teacher, I have nothing but respect & admiration for this dad & the way he's trying to help his daughter & her siblings through all of this. It sure as hell can't be easy :(
Click to expand...

Every time I hear another story I'm struck by the strength people like yourself have. I always say that no one should have to be so strong, but thank goodness you are. Thank you for sharing, because that takes inordinate strength as well, but it really helps to understand how this kind of thing can happen so we can understand the dynamics of these situations.
 
Irishboy said:
Something much bigger than a kiss happened - agree with this point. Probably why she felt in over her head.
Took her so she would not testify? Not sure on that, she could have, but she was also denying everything and was being rebellious it's possible if he just left that she may not have told anything. He took her because he succeeded in convincing her that she would suffer too if she stayed and he was saving her.
Took her to kill her? Don't agree to this, He achieved his goal to run off with a young girl who he spent a lot of time on grooming her
Click to expand...

I don't think she was being rebellious, she was being a "good girl" to a man who had power for 8 hours every day over her. I think she knows about the other instances. Kind of like a man will share his past indiscretions with his mistress, but not his wife, I believe TC told ET about other girls and we know there were others. There was a criminal investigation and if it was for more than ET, than they were going to question her about things she may have talked about. Remember that 15 year olds are fickle, one day they're in love and the next they're in love with someone else. And I keep trying to rationalize why he'd go north if he wanted to leave from San Diego and go to Mexico. It makes sense to take her somewhere secluded, leave her there and then head to Mexico alone. ET also told her family that the 48 hours before she was rescued were the worst. I'm wondering if it was because he was acting more angry and irritated in attempt to distance himself from her. It's just a hunch, though, and you may be right.
 
Just wanted to express (and pay gratitude) that WS has served as my "safe space" regarding this awful case. Whenever I venture out to the wild west of internet-land I always come running back here crying for my mommy and a blankie. It's a scary world out there, guys. :(
 
Mom24 said:
I don't think she was being rebellious, she was being a "good girl" to a man who had power for 8 hours every day over her. I think she knows about the other instances. Kind of like a man will share his past indiscretions with his mistress, but not his wife, I believe TC told ET about other girls and we know there were others. There was a criminal investigation and if it was for more than ET, than they were going to question her about things she may have talked about. Remember that 15 year olds are fickle, one day they're in love and the next they're in love with someone else. And I keep trying to rationalize why he'd go north if he wanted to leave from San Diego and go to Mexico. It makes sense to take her somewhere secluded, leave her there and then head to Mexico alone. ET also told her family that the 48 hours before she was rescued were the worst. I'm wondering if it was because he was acting more angry and irritated in attempt to distance himself from her. It's just a hunch, though, and you may be right.
Click to expand...

Sorry I was saying she was reportedly rebellious to the school and LE authorities and her father denying things and not turning over her phone. That's why IMO possible she wouldn't talk if only he took off.
 
bestill said:
I think he's already been transferred, why wait?
Click to expand...

There is no reason to wait, but they do have lots of prisoners to transfer. I think they have said they will move him at their convenience, and will not announce it, for security reasons. He will probably be moved to several locations along the way.
 
Mom24 and Irishboy, both your theories are plausible to me. Torn! (I don't know how to quote two posts in one message. I'm referring to #20 and #22 in this thread.)

My fear for her life stemmed from a belief that TC would resort to murder if his victim attempted to leave the situation or was caught trying to contact outside help. Or possibly a murder/suicide scenario when surrounded by LE (which is why I'm SO grateful that the authorities were able to apprehend TC in a non-violent manner). Now that you've brought it up Mom24, I can actually see this monster pre-planning a homicide and carrying it out when the location and circumstances were "ideal".

This theory also addresses questions on how he planned to conceal the both of them for the long-term: he didn't.

On the other hand, did TC plan this just to ultimately be alone as a fugitive for the rest of his life? His grooming efforts were effective and in his sick mind, he was getting everything he wanted. Why end the "relationship" unless it became (to TC) absolutely necessary?

(Obviously, either way, this child was in life-threatening danger and the fact that she was found alive is truly a blessing.)
 
perfectingpink said:
Tad Cummins' Wife: He Told Me He Slept With Teenage Student, Asked for Forgiveness

https://www.yahoo.com/news/tad-cummins-apos-wife-told-152800636.html
Click to expand...

“I of course went into a rage of, ‘Do you know what you've done to me? Do you know what you've done to your girls and your grandchildren?’ He pretty much just over and over said, ‘I'm sorry,’” she said.

He continues to call her from jail, Jill Cummins said, but she won't pick up the phone.

“I won’t let him hurt me like that again," she said. "I will not let him betray me like that again. I won’t give him the opportunity, ever again."
Click to expand...

On the off chance JC ever reads this, I have to say I'm sorry but also thank you. You've been hurt, you've been betrayed, and I am so glad you are not giving him any second chances. You and your family deserve better than Tad Cummins.

This is exactly what he needs - no sympathy, no forgiveness, no second chances. Maybe when he realizes he has nothing left to go back to, he'll give up and plead guilty.
 
Maybe JC should string him along, encourage him to plead guilty and then when he's sentenced slam the door on him forever. Save ET and the Cummins family the humiliation of a trial.
 
Interview on Inside Edition with JC

https://www.yahoo.com/news/tad-cummins-apos-wife-told-152800636.html

From this story:

[FONT=&amp]"I said, 'Well, did you sleep with her?' And he said, 'Yes I did,'" Jill said in an exclusive interview with Inside Edition's Diane McInerney. "And I didn't want any details, but I knew the truth. I just wanted to hear it from him to me."

[/FONT][FONT=&amp]On the phone call, he asked his wife for forgiveness, Jill said.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]"It was very hard to hear his voice after all this time not knowing if I was going to hear it again," she said. "But he told me he was sorry. He told me he loved me and to please forgive him.”
[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]But Jill told him she couldn’t say “I love you” back to him.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]“I of course went into a rage of, ‘Do you know what you've done to me? Do you know what you've done to your girls and your grandchildren?’ He pretty much just over and over said, ‘I'm sorry,’” she said.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]He continues to call her from jail, Jill Cummins said, but she won't pick up the phone.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]“I won’t let him hurt me like that again," she said. "I will not let him betray me like that again. I won’t give him the opportunity, ever again."

The clip ends with some sensationalist crap about "Tune in to hear his daughter speak. Will she forgive him" or something like that.[/FONT]
 
The "betrayal" that JC refers to in this interview as well as her GMA interview portray a person who feels as though her partner was involved in an affair ("did you sleep with her?"). I have said in the past and will say again that there is an obvious disconnect on the part of JC as to the actual crimes at hand. I can only hope that this deep denial is addressed with proper, long-term therapy. (And perhaps granting interviews this early on in that process isn't ideal.)

https://www.yahoo.com/news/tad-cummins-apos-wife-told-152800636.html
 
JC should have asked TC if he violated ET not slept with her. Wonder what he would have said to that?
 
MsMtOlympus said:
The "betrayal" that JC refers to in this interview as well as her GMA interview portray a person who feels as though her partner was involved in an affair ("did you sleep with her?"). I have said in the past and will say again that there is an obvious disconnect on the part of JC as to the actual crimes at hand. I can only hope that this deep denial is addressed with proper, long-term therapy. (And perhaps granting interviews this early on in that process isn't ideal.)



https://www.yahoo.com/news/tad-cummins-apos-wife-told-152800636.html
Click to expand...

BBM I agree with you! This was not an affair, this was so much more and much worse.
 
I guess he "cleared his head" as he said in the note to her.
What I want to know is he admitting to after the disappearance (a certainty) or before (likely), or both. The reason is the Feds and CA have a case, and OK has a case, but if before then TN can have a case too. I say more the merrier to keep this poor excuse locked up forever. I've read that the Fed penalty is 10- life. At best with trail delays and the minimum he'll be in his early 60's and with state time added in (hopefully not concurrent) it's likely he won't see the light of day again.
 
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