Agreed.
Actual reports from her family - specifically her brother- is that they were told not to hug her because she is so traumatized she cannot handle being physically touched at the moment.
I have little doubts that this confused kid who was so desperate for love and attention and longed so much to be accepted and adored, found something powerful that addressed a deep psychological need, in TC's grooming of her.
I mean predators are good at this. They know which kids are hungry for love. They know which ones are neglected and sad. Those are the ones they hone in on for a reason and those are the ones less likely to speak up even while enduring years of abuse. Because with that abuse comes satisfaction of the need to be cared for.
So no doubt poor ET is feeling bereft because she found something with this predator that she likely never had and always wanted. Total concentration, praise, and focus as the only one that matters. Can you imagine how profound that would be for any teen? Especially one from a large family? Especially one who has not had much love or care in their lives?
But along with the attention that must have felt like water to a parched, dying plant, came something else: Sexual abuse. Manipulation. Coercion. Control. She had to endure the ultimate betrayal by the one person she had come to depend on for satisfaction of her psychological needs. This kid, who ultimately was after something basic and pure and innocent, got something else with the bargain that no sane young teen would want- sexual contact with a pot-bellied grandpa.
So, while she was getting the caring and focus she had likely craved since childhood, and thus probably was drawn to like an addiction, another part of her detected the betrayal and the poison of it. Which is why she sometimes hid from him or why she told her sister to call the police at 6. And now, she may be withdrawing (like from drugs) from the heady attention she received but at the same time is recovering from the betrayal that was the sexual abuse.
And yes it was abuse. ET is no different from a heterosexual teen boy groomed by a pederast who sexually abuses and exploits his prey. Those kids likewise don't tell. And they endure sexual contact that they aren't really into. They don't run when they can. They even keep going back to the predator's house or agree to continue going "camping" or on other trips as the coach, instructor, pastor, priest, neighbor or family friend takes them places, inundates them with presents and time and "fun", all the while raping them or photographing them, etc.
People wonder how that happens. It's the same thing here really.
And those kids aren't any less of a victim than the ones who are forcibly or violently assaulted. Different degrees of abuse but still abuse.
So it's complex and her behavior as she recovers will be complex as well.
I wish we could all understand that instead of seeing the complexity of it as complicity. As evidence that she isn't really a victim. That she somehow "asked for it" and thus is leas deserving of our empathy.
The insinuations are offensive.
