Travis Alexander's Journals and text messages

[Hope4More]

For the hardcore who are still trying to understand May 26….what’s below is different than what I’ve posted before. This is everything JA wrote in the text. Maybe seeing just one side at a time adds perspective. Remember that the entire GChat totalled about 14-15 typewritten pages.

I put Travis’ words in parentheses here and there, to provide context when necessary.
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This is difficult. It will only piss you off even more. (referring to the second part of what she wants to tell him. He asks her to just call and tell him, but she refuses, and tells him she's writing an email).

(Why?) Because sometimes the truth sucks!

Call you?

Right now?

I’m here.

(so let’s cut the bull shiz)

OK

(am I talking to myself)

No. You are not talking to yourself.

(what is taking you so long)

I’m reading what you messaged me on FB. I didn’t know you were messaging me there.

(so are we clear)

Yes

(so tell me the truth. Tell me you are not sorry)

I can’t just say it as a blanket statement like that. It’s too convoluted. It’s not black and white.

(what is your point)

My point is all of the things you said when you were playing the tough Travis is true

(I know they are)

So there really is no point in me continuing to breath. And that’s not a poor-me cry for sympathy.

(we’ve been over this, might as well give it up. OK?)

OK.

(so are we done with the pretenses, no more faking)

Travis, in the most non-pretentious way, you are like an angel that gets snared by my evil influences. But I too, am like an angel that gets ensnared by evil influences. And along I come, looking like an angel, speaking sweetly, acting nicely, pleasing you in ways you had only fantasized, and of course it is easy to get caught up in that

(you are not sorry so quit apologizing and that way I can quit forgiving.. it will save us time and energy, deal?)

Ummmm….ok?

I just don’t want you to be miserable anymore. I only contribute to the misery factor in your life.

(just stop. I serve a purpose of yours, whatever it is, that’s fine)

Then what do you want me to say? Whatever the purpose is, I don’t understand it. I’ve tried to figure it out. It’s not marriage. It’s not sex. I’ve proven that it is not friendship.

(I thought I might break away this time but you knew I couldn’t, you knew one call and you’d reel me in)

{{{note: is Travis is referring to the May 10th call, whether it was on that date or another? }}

I don’t ever dare to hope for that (friendship) at this point. OK, maybe a spark of dare.

(I’m not saying it’s friendship. It is what it is. You are ruining my life but I’m addicted. Do what you intend to do. I’m going to quit acting tough. I’ll quit my façade now you quit with yours).

Honestly, aside from what I wanted to say, it was me that wanted to hear your voice just once. It’s like a little fix. You’re not the only one who is addicted. (she inserts, in the middle of what Travis is saying below, …”.Because I am horrible.” Travis doesn’t catch it).

(“well let’s just ruin each other’s life then. I don’t care anymore. If you want my freaking passwords just ask. Whatever you may have found it wasn’t bad enough to deter you from whatever purpose is, so who freaking cares.” I ‘m just tired of all this, it’s killing me. I tried to stay away this time.)

No. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. Bless you for your forgiveness, but you deserve better, and I don’t deserve you.

(“If all you were is positive or your good façade that is in fact an act, I’m addicted to it. But it is BS&#8221.

Well, there aren’t any positives left now, so you won’t be addicted much longer.

(I forgive (etc.), that’s why you don’t hesitate to keep ruining me)

I wish I were better.

I don’t want to. (get away with ruining you)

(why can’t you reward me for forgiving you)

Because there is no excuse for me to be alive.

I don’t deserve any rewards.

(I want a real answer {about why she keeps on doing things to hurt/harm him, why the lies)

I don’t have an answer. I really am awful. Truly. Can’t you agree that that’s the truest thing I’ve typed thus far?

Just because I’m not whorring around doesn’t mean I’d act different. I need to keep myself out of that situation. Which of course isn't a problem at this point.

(She is completely ignoring what Travis is saying/asking. Her whorring line comes right after he has written 19 separate lines about the cycle of harm/”tough talk/forgive/harm, ending with, “I talk tougher and still forgive. This has happened about 30 times. That’s how many times you’ve been caught.” She didn’t respond at all to any of it, just changes the subject back to sex.)

You’re the last person I’ve been intimate with. My sex drive is gone.

I haven’t dittled myself once since I moved here except for the times when we were on the phone and we did it together.

(that wasn’t a problem for you on the phone)

Of course not. That’s the affect you have. Nobody else can do that. Absolute kryptonite. I don’t want to be a . I could joke that if being a for Travis is wrong then I don’t wanna be right. But this isn’t the time for jokes. I’ve been a bad influence.

(Why did you go back into my FB) Because I suck.

(She says I suck in response to his question about FB, but notice how she immediately changes the subject and launches into the longest thing she’ll write in the chat…again about sex. And herself. )

The sexual part for me was an unevolved way of trying to be loved. I knew you weren’t in love with me. I knew you cared, but it wasn’t that kind of love. So when we made love, I was able to actually convince myself, yes lie to myself. It really felt for that space of time that it was bigger and better. But that’s the intoxication felt from sex. And you made it so good. You became another person. It’s like you nearly worshipped me. I felt soooo loved when we did that. It became absolutely addicting.

But you weren’t just a piece of meat.

(it served your purpose to be noble in the sack)

I know. The better I was, the more you wanted me, and the more you wanted me, the more we got together. I was a for you because I was a for that feeling. I was a in general and I still am.

(telling her to say she’s not sorry, etc.)

Everything I feel moved to say wouldn’t hold an ounce of weight with you. But what I was going to say is this, so I guess that means at the core I’m not sorry. But I still struggle with guilt and regret over it.

If you were here, I don’t know. But you’re not here and I’m not there, and we’re behaving ourselves. I get so caught up in wanting to do the right thing. And then when you come around I want to do a different version of the right thing and it may be a two-way street but I…never mind. We shouldn’t even be discussing this.

Part of me is glad that we did that. Is it wrong to feel that way? Don’t answer. It is.

It is a struggle inside of me. I want to take the high road, but the selfish part of me wants to take you and if you were here and the opportunity presented itself then I most likely would.

I would have been content cuddling, but I wasn’t strong enough. I was way overcome. It was wrong.

(he says he is responsible too.)

Yeah, but it was more me..


(why, then? Why try to ruin me?)

I don’t know what you mean, ruin you? It was an endless struggle. I was resentful for other thigns but I always wanted you to succeed. I haven’t deliberately set out to try and ruin you. I am so sorry for what I’ve done. Those nice things listed above don’t even begin to add up to counterbalance the horrible things I’ve done. It should have all been different. It’s my fault. I am 100% responsible for this.

(Why do you hate me? I was a good guy. Why me?)

{{Second longest reply to him. All about her.}}

There are times when you’ve screamed into the phone so loud at me that the speaker was distorted and then you hung up. The pain was so sharp and so deep that I just couldn’t process it. I could only scream in response to the air. And I would scream at the top of my lungs until my throat was raw. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! Until I had no energy left to say it and it had wittled down to a little whimp,”…I hate you…” And I just sobbed and cried until I couldn’t breathe.

But do you know what? I deserved all that. Every angry phone call. Every unpleasant word. Doesn’t compare to what I’ve put you through. It doesn’t begin to measure up. I’ve done you more wrong and that is apparent without even keeping score.

(You only showed me hate. “What you did wasn’t trying to love. It was succeeding to hate.”

I did try but I didn’t try hard enough.

(Tell me the truth.)

Yes, I just became so resentful, It was all very selfish. An act to try to protect myself from the pain, but it didn’t work. I didn’t want to hurt you either. I am so sorry.
If it was unconditional love, it would never have hurt you. I’m just not worth it. I’m not. You have so many bright and wonderful things on your horizon.
I’m sorry Travis

(I have sacrificed so much for you, and “you just tried to murder me from the inside out&#8221

It wasn’t really my intention to harm you. Please understand that.

I really did love you. But I let it get so distorted. I’m so so so sorry. I have no excuse. None. I just wish you weren’t hurting right now.

(I am s-it to you).

I wish that’s all you were to me. I try to tell myself that every day. That you mean NOTHING. And every time that feeling starts to creep back in I suppress it and tell myself that you were worthless to me. I’m so sorry. I really am. You deserve so much more than the crap I’ve given you. You deserve a wealth that is beyond this world. And I deserve a pile of s-it for what I’ve done to my friend.

I don’t want to care about you. I don’t want to care about you at all. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t hurt and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

(this is what Travis said just before what she writes below, denying slashing his tires:

“just quit lying. Quit. Can’t u quit. All u have ever done is lie. You have only told partial truths to cover up lies don’t you see. U are why your life sucks. Its ur lies. Just tell the truth. Write something you stupid idiot. Wow.)

I may be a liar, I may be a , I may be evil, I may be a coward. I may not be worth the air that I breathe, I am most likely the most horrible person you’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing, but one thing I am NOT is violent. I did not and would not and would never have slashed your tires. Nor did I have anything to do with that. I didn’t and wouldn’t.

(how can you be the way you’ve been to me)

I don’t have an answer. I don’t know why. I hurt too. I guess maybe it was just my way of trying to renounce you. I acted immature. I acted stupid. I shouldn’t have gone about it that way. What can I really say though? “I agree?”

(where is the email)

Well it would have been done sooner but I was watching you type.

(I know you got into my computer and erased a letter I sent to Lisa)

What?!!

I can’t send the email. It’s not letting me put your address in the address bar. OK, I figured it out.

(who freaking cares about you).

I’m a full time bartender now in a Mexican restaurant.

(Not sure why either of them is referring to a sob story. They’re on GChat. Is it possible Travis could see part of the email on her screen before she finished it?)

It’s not a sob story.

(BJ’s for tips)

Yeah, according to what you’ve said I’d have that car paid off in one shift with vacation money to spare. Maybe I can use you as a reference.

(…you send some bulls-it thing down the pipe as you log onto FB)

What does that mean???

(Yr parents must be proud of you).

They’re not proud of me. They didn’t even come to watch me sing even though the rest of my family did. Not that you care, but that’s just to illustrate how much they’re not proud.

(u are evil, nothing but a liar from the beginning, etc.)

Look, I don’t want to be like this.

(You are like this)

I know.

(send yr piece of s-it lie fest, we already know.. its BS. I have never dealt with a more solid form of evil…..etc.)

I don’t know what to do. I really am sorry for everything. I know you don’t want apologies. I don’t know what to say.

(“ What I want is for you to quit blatantly lying&#8221

Can I just send the email? It’s almost finished.

(Pure freaking s-it. Yr email is s-it too).

One day it will be clear.

(I hate you).

I’ve acted so wrong.

(I hate you).

I am so, so sorry. If anyone should it is me. You are light unto this world. I can’t even compare.

(“Shut up. Just shut up.” This is what comes right before her comments about Danny Jones. Maybe out of order, somehow? Because the chat ends a few lines later with TA saying “and by the way your little comment to Danny Jones makes you look like a cheap .)

Only you would say that. Anyone else would see it for what it is: an Anchorman joke. I was just giving him a hard time for showing off and being such a ham. You and I had a conversation about his FB pics and their content. I was just razzing him.

(He is an easy target, etc.)

His temperature is cold when it comes to that. I tried having a conversation with him, and he was cordial, but never flirty or anything like it.

(so you have checked it then, what a freaking . U r too much).

Like you, I flirt because it’s “harmless”, “means nothing” and there are “no intentions” behind it.

(Don’t ignore me) I’m emailing you!

(you don’t know how to tell the truth.&#8221

OK, Travis. What do you want me to do?

 

[Hope4More]

Hope4More: Many, many thanks for your work contextualizing the JA/TA exchanges.

And I agree with you: JA was threatening his Temple Recommend, impacting his ability to find a mate and marry with 'full' LDS blessings/status. In fact, I've always believed she drew him into their 'addictive' sex cycle on May 26th/June 4th, prior to killing him, for the sole purpose of leaving TA's 'redemption & grace' in limbo. {BTW: I am neither LDS nor Catholic nor much of anything ... So let's not discuss my "redemption/grace'/limbo verbiage.}

JA knew how to press TA's 'hot buttons' in more way than one. And she believed by killing him immediately after sex, his "redemption/grace/whatever" was forever lost (in her mind).

That said ...

HOPE4MORE: What did she say in the call to him that prompted his first email, and his misplaced hope that she would spare him?

Do we know what TA's Temple Status was in 2008 (leading into his murder)? IIRC, he lost TR following his 'confession' to sex with DR. And, somewhere, I thought I read he lost it again in late 2007, early 2008. ??? Anybody have info on this?

Friends say he had his 2nd TR taken away in late 2007

I also remember 'some report' that JA had talked to TA's Bishop (not hers) just after JA butchered TA. Is this true? {Sorry. Too much info, too many years, too many dead brain cells.)

She said she spoke to her own Bishop, not TA's, and told him (no doubt a pack of lies) about sex.
[/B]


Bottom line: I agree, as of JA's exodus from Mesa, she formulated the storyline of, "TA is a bad guy, (a bad Mormon) ... He hurt me, I'll get even ... and I'll make everyone else believe TA is a hypocrite within his circle of LDS friends."

Whatever happened on Memorial Day, 2008 ... He wanted her to admit, in writing, she tells lies. In writing. That's all he wants: Tell me, in writing, you lie. And lie. And lie.

That call? It must have been devastating. Far more than hacking TA's FB.

The call and what followed?

The call was obviously related to telling TA someone knew something "bad" about him, whatever the details. What followed? IMO, the two most likely possibilities:

1. JA was trying to move on to Ryan Burns, the next best thing. Travis was no longer the best thing. He was having financial difficulty (no fun for her anymore, because he wasn't giving her everything she ever asked for, including those trips,and because he was stressed). He was angry with her. He saw through her for the first time and didn't like what he saw. He wasn't in denial anymore about everything she had done to him. She wanted to move on and not have any feelings for him, but couldn't do that.

She didn't threaten him with the sex tape. She sent him a woe is me "sob story" email that he mocked and rejected, and she realized that he genuinely hated her. She killed him because of that complete rejection, for seeing her as she really was, and because she thought it was the best way to end her mess of feelings about him.


2. She threatened him (directly or indirectly, I'd go with indirectly) about someone knowing something bad about him, and followed up with the Helio being stolen. What is truly awful to think about (so I won't anymore) is what that threat of exposure would have done to him. Remember that he was seeing his Bishop regularly, and working to get his TR back. His choices would have been to tell his Bishop and risk being excommunicated, or to be dishonest with his Bishop. Either choice would have been soul-destroying.

 

[cinsbythesea]

The call and what followed?

The call was obviously related to telling TA someone knew something "bad" about him, whatever the details. What followed? IMO, the two most likely possibilities:

1. JA was trying to move on to Ryan Burns, the next best thing. Travis was no longer the best thing. He was having financial difficulty (no fun for her anymore, because he wasn't giving her everything she ever asked for, including those trips,and because he was stressed). He was angry with her. He saw through her for the first time and didn't like what he saw. He wasn't in denial anymore about everything she had done to him. She wanted to move on and not have any feelings for him, but couldn't do that.

She didn't threaten him with the sex tape. She sent him a woe is me "sob story" email that he mocked and rejected, and she realized that he genuinely hated her. She killed him because of that complete rejection, for seeing her as she really was, and because she thought it was the best way to end her mess of feelings about him.


2. She threatened him (directly or indirectly, I'd go with indirectly) about someone knowing something bad about him, and followed up with the Helio being stolen. What is truly awful to think about (so I won't anymore) is what that threat of exposure would have done to him. Remember that he was seeing his Bishop regularly, and working to get his TR back. His choices would have been to tell his Bishop and risk being excommunicated, or to be dishonest with his Bishop. Either choice would have been soul-destroying.

Her soul is black if this is true. Just when I think I can't feel any worse for Travis - I read this...

 

[Hope4More]

Her soul is black if this is true. Just when I think I can't feel any worse for Travis - I read this...

Her soul is black, either scenario, even acknowledging the missing pieces. Truly, she deserves less mercy than she showed Travis, even before she murdered him, and she showed him none.

 

[samspace070]

East....this is when I plead ignorance. I read all BritsKate's wonderfully informative posts about BPD and narcissistic disorders, and I've listened to all the psych testimony, and I understand what's being said, but it is so alien to me I can't really apply it to a particular JA event or thought or motivation.

I THINK she flipped the switch to all hate and murder on May 26 (if not before), but really don't know. I can't believe she entertained any hope that he would marry her, but maybe even that's wrong. Maybe she was so demented she thought that if she destroyed every one of his marriage prospects he would turn to her in desperation. Doesn't make a lick of sense to me that she would think that, but...

IMO her thinking would have to have been that twisted to think she had any chance of going to Cancun with him, or of him realizing he'd made a mistake about her, or ....something other than what I do think....that she did all that because she was determined to have sex with him to harm him. That she didn't just shoot him in his sleep because she wanted him to see her as she killed him in the most painful up close way she could.....

Totally agree Hope4more, she wanted him to see her kill him. She wanted him to know he was going to die. He was definitely more devout in his faith and she knew he wouldn't have time to repent of the sin he had just committed with her. Maybe she taunted him with that while she was stabbing him. You could see the evil in her when she was testifying. She hates Juan Martinez almost as much as she hated TA. She loved performing on the stand. She actually thought she was winning with that jury.

 

[samspace070]

All weekend I watched Lifetime and Snapped on Oxygen. The theme was murdering females who claim domestic abuse or drug abuse with no proof to back up these claims. But the startling theme was the fact that so many of these people kept journals. These journals showed a lot of malingering and tampering. But not one of them claimed JA's excuse of The Laws of Attraction kept her from writing bad thoughts or acts in her journal. One male victim had a journal that his sister said he kept faithfully but it was never found. It was suspected by the PT that the female defendant (his fiancée) stole it. She was a lot like JA. But some of the females also kept journals of which some were altered and some had missing pages. But you can't convict on missing pages or altered writings. It just made the defendants seem untrustworthy. I have never kept a journal and the fact that both JA and TA kept a journal surprises me. I believe JA ripped the pages out of her book and stole TA's journal because of his writing about Lisa.

 

[east2west]

Thanks Hope for the rework. I read the intial 15 pgs the first time ( chat seemed to be disjointed until I realized that sections needed to be read bottom to top like twitter posts.) I appreciate your hard work and analysis.

 

[Hope4More]

All weekend I watched Lifetime and Snapped on Oxygen. The theme was murdering females who claim domestic abuse or drug abuse with no proof to back up these claims. But the startling theme was the fact that so many of these people kept journals. These journals showed a lot of malingering and tampering. But not one of them claimed JA's excuse of The Laws of Attraction kept her from writing bad thoughts or acts in her journal. One male victim had a journal that his sister said he kept faithfully but it was never found. It was suspected by the PT that the female defendant (his fiancée) stole it. She was a lot like JA. But some of the females also kept journals of which some were altered and some had missing pages. But you can't convict on missing pages or altered writings. It just made the defendants seem untrustworthy. I have never kept a journal and the fact that both JA and TA kept a journal surprises me. I believe JA ripped the pages out of her book and stole TA's journal because of his writing about Lisa.

I may not be remembering correctly, but I seem to recall reading that keeping journals was important to Mormons? For a reason I don't remember at all. Not sure if that's accurate. JA wrote in one very sporadically before she moved to Mesa. While in Mesa she kept one because TA did, and because she wanted Travis to read hers, IMO. If you look at a few of his entries it is completely obvious that she copied everything he did in his journals.

What she wrote about, how she wrote it, how she signed her entries, even the little smiley faces, were ALL in exact imitation of Travis' journals. She did the same thing with blogs in April- May 2008. He started one. She started one. He wrote an entry, she would write one a few days later. He wrote about a theme, she echoed that theme in hers. Well, up to his blog about who not to marry. That one she didn't copy.

 

[jevipo74]

I may not be remembering correctly, but I seem to recall reading that keeping journals was important to Mormons? For a reason I don't remember at all. Not sure if that's accurate. JA wrote in one very sporadically before she moved to Mesa. While in Mesa she kept one because TA did, and because she wanted Travis to read hers, IMO. If you look at a few of his entries it is completely obvious that she copied everything he did in his journals.

What she wrote about, how she wrote it, how she signed her entries, even the little smiley faces, were ALL in exact imitation of Travis' journals. She did the same thing with blogs in April- May 2008. He started one. She started one. He wrote an entry, she would write one a few days later. He wrote about a theme, she echoed that theme in hers. Well, up to his blog about who not to marry. That one she didn't copy.

Journaling is important to the LDS faith. Here's a link that explains why: http://www.mormonwiki.com/Keeping_a_Journal

It doesn't shock me that she mirrored everything that he did. She had no personality of her own and leached the personality of the people around her. I don't think she ever had an original thought. Even her "artwork" is not original. She's a human fascimilie. She's flesh and bone, that's all. No soul, no emotional depth.

 

[Hope4More]

Journaling is important to the LDS faith. Here's a link that explains why: http://www.mormonwiki.com/Keeping_a_Journal

It doesn't shock me that she mirrored everything that he did. She had no personality of her own and leached the personality of the people around her. I don't think she ever had an original thought. Even her "artwork" is not original. She's a human fascimilie. She's flesh and bone, that's all. No soul, no emotional depth.

Thanks for the link. It makes sense, actually, that LDS would encourage journal-keeping, given the overall importance placed on keeping records.

One piece of advice about how to journal the link included was of particular interest..that what is written should reflect one's true self, but also negativity is to be avoided.

I'm guessing that Travis told her this, and she twisted it into her BS story that Travis didn't want her to write anything negative about HIM.


PS about her lack of originality....couldn't agree more. Everything she produces is one dimensional and trite

 

[absolut_alexis]

Could the "it" in "it is gone because of you be the $75000 he had gotten from the refinancing?

In the email exchange, he says that she has been caught 30 times, and money comes up a lot, she says she could make enough money to pay off the car in a day if she could get paid for oral sex.

In the interview with DF, JA twice mentions that she has his ATM code:

"His garage was … 1220 was his pin for his ATM because there were many times he gave me his card to go get money."

Maybe Travis didn't give her the ATM code, he clearly didn't want her in his facebook. Maybe he realized she was stealing from him for a long time with his ATM and the "ruin" is financial ruin?

Whatever "it" is has to be something he feels he can't get back. She originally was supposed to sell it. I remember reading that. Then she ruined it and agreed to buy it.

At some point, lawyers were involved, so either it is the BMW, the recording, or the money. They wouldn't call lawyers over the Church.

I also think he wouldn't blame her for the temple recommend, I think he was a decent guy who would say - I put myself in this situation and I can pay the consequences.

This is something she did at least 30 times, something that isn't the facebook hack but like it involving intrusion, and simmering that would ruin him.

Maybe she thought if she took the ring he couldn't propose to anyone, if she took his journals he couldn't prove how crazy she is, and if she took the money he wouldn't be able to start a life with someone new - he would have to work more and travel less.

I don't think he gave her the ATM code. She figured it out based on the patterns of the other codes.

All he wants is for her to say she isn't sorry. It is a very strange request. He wants to not forgive her. Again, that means it is something that she has done before - some intrusion that is runining him.

I used to think she wanted to kill him to stop him from doing things, but I think it is more like Scott killing Laci. He didn't want her anymore, so he threw her away, she was preventing him from living the life he wanted.

That is Jodi, I think. She was done with Travis, there was nothing left to use him for. That is why Casey Anthony and Scott Peterson and Jodi seem so calm. It isn't about the victims, they are too self-centered. They threw away the people they no longer wanted. So sad.

 

[Hope4More]

WHAT TRIGGERED THE MAY 26th CHAT? I THINK WE KNOW NOW.



The jury saw a text from JA to TA that we did not:



From the jury foreman interview:


"We cross referenced journals and text messages and wondered why Travis was so mad. .We however did find something that wasn’t brought out in court. It was a text from Jodi Arias to Travis Alexander stating to him she needed to speak to the Bishop about the sex stat.We felt this may have been the trigger for Travis’s anger."



http://thetrialdiaries.com/exclusivethe-foreman-from-the-jodi-arias-trial-speakshear-his-story/

 

[Kadoober]

Wow. See, it's stuff like this that makes me wish we could get a good old fashioned doc dump, ala CA.

 

[ISeeSociopaths]

I wanted to quickly say, Thank you for all the transcriptions of their correspondence:Text, email...(it's hard to keep track) and that I feel that there is a lesson for us. In attempting to understand this relationship and what led to Travis's murder, the lreal esson is Jodi. and her personality defect/disorder. I f you
come into contact with a someone who lies and steals and lies in the face of truth and facts....Just Run! Don't try to make sense, just get out of the relationship. A sociopath gives a warning, a red flag, and this is it. Convoluted stories and lies that make no sense. Abuse of trust and frienship. Distortion of truth and facts. It's all here. I hope we learn from it because people like Jodi Arias are among us just waiting to take advantage of any situation. So just Walk the other way.

 

[Hope4More]

Could the "it" in "it is gone because of you be the $75000 he had gotten from the refinancing?

In the email exchange, he says that she has been caught 30 times, and money comes up a lot, she says she could make enough money to pay off the car in a day if she could get paid for oral sex.

In the interview with DF, JA twice mentions that she has his ATM code:

"His garage was … 1220 was his pin for his ATM because there were many times he gave me his card to go get money."

Maybe Travis didn't give her the ATM code, he clearly didn't want her in his facebook. Maybe he realized she was stealing from him for a long time with his ATM and the "ruin" is financial ruin?

Whatever "it" is has to be something he feels he can't get back. She originally was supposed to sell it. I remember reading that. Then she ruined it and agreed to buy it.

At some point, lawyers were involved, so either it is the BMW, the recording, or the money. They wouldn't call lawyers over the Church.

I also think he wouldn't blame her for the temple recommend, I think he was a decent guy who would say - I put myself in this situation and I can pay the consequences.

This is something she did at least 30 times, something that isn't the facebook hack but like it involving intrusion, and simmering that would ruin him.

Maybe she thought if she took the ring he couldn't propose to anyone, if she took his journals he couldn't prove how crazy she is, and if she took the money he wouldn't be able to start a life with someone new - he would have to work more and travel less.

I don't think he gave her the ATM code. She figured it out based on the patterns of the other codes.

All he wants is for her to say she isn't sorry. It is a very strange request. He wants to not forgive her. Again, that means it is something that she has done before - some intrusion that is runining him.

I used to think she wanted to kill him to stop him from doing things, but I think it is more like Scott killing Laci. He didn't want her anymore, so he threw her away, she was preventing him from living the life he wanted.

That is Jodi, I think. She was done with Travis, there was nothing left to use him for. That is why Casey Anthony and Scott Peterson and Jodi seem so calm. It isn't about the victims, they are too self-centered. They threw away the people they no longer wanted. So sad.

Especially after the foreman's interview, I'm convinced the "it"was his Temple Recommend. If you read the whole chat, he tells her he accepts responsibility for being sexual with her. But notice that she immediately replies to him- "No, it is more MY fault (for the most part she does NOT reply to him immediately or directly in this chat).

She is HAPPY to be responsible for ruining him. She WANTS him to know she used sex to serve her own purposes, not his, and that it had NOTHING to do with "unconditional love."

He is asking her to say she is NOT sorry for ruining him because that is the truth, and he knows it.

 

[Hope4More]

From what the foreman said, the jury seemed to think a text exchange on December 7th 2008 was especially important. I'm pretty sure it was not directly referenced in the retrial. The tire slashings happened around that date, give or take a few days.

The foreman said the jury read all the texts exchanged during what might have been as many as 6 months- from December through June, but was at least for a whole month No doubt THAT helped them see interactions we haven't..... I wonder if we ever will see those texts?

 

[Hope4More]

I wanted to quickly say, Thank you for all the transcriptions of their correspondence:Text, email...(it's hard to keep track) and that I feel that there is a lesson for us. In attempting to understand this relationship and what led to Travis's murder, the lreal esson is Jodi. and her personality defect/disorder. I f you
come into contact with a someone who lies and steals and lies in the face of truth and facts....Just Run! Don't try to make sense, just get out of the relationship. A sociopath gives a warning, a red flag, and this is it. Convoluted stories and lies that make no sense. Abuse of trust and frienship. Distortion of truth and facts. It's all here. I hope we learn from it because people like Jodi Arias are among us just waiting to take advantage of any situation. So just Walk the other way.

I hear you and agree. But I think it was no accident that JA preyed upon Travis. I'm willing to bet she sized up his vulnerabilities the first day she met him, after singling him out at convention. Had he presented none, she would have moved on to another target.

 

[MissHaley]

WOW! Thanks to everyone, this is fascinating & heartbreaking! Putting things together like this really shows the turmoil she put on Travis. Can you imagine almost 2 yrs of this torment from him? Moving to Mesa after they 'broke up', really shows her escalation .

These communications from 5/26 shows, that Travis was clearly a victim of domestic violence. He's even citing the harm/anger/forgive cycle!

Another poster commented about how she copies everyone. It became clear reading thru this, that everything she did to Travis, is what she used against him in trial! She had nothing to explain the murder. Even in this conversation, she had nothing to say to Travis to explain herself. She emotionally, verbally & physically abused him! She told him here in so many words that she is the deviate about sex, so she said that about HIM!
He said she has 'lied to him from day 1". Lying, stealing & she still continues behind bars.

So much to say about this. I'm sure more details will be coming out thru time. But, it didn't seem like one event defined things for Travis or her, it was a combination of all this hurt, she admits here that she hurt him. He just wanted to know why & I'll bet he was asking her 'why' as she was killing him and she was yelling 'I hate you' as she told him in this message, she would scream it at the top of her lungs after he hung up. Tragic. I wish we could've helped him.

 

[Hope4More]

Ms. Haley- it is heartbreaking.

I can't say I regret the time and effort I've put into trying to understand the why of it all. But it is definitely true that the more I've learned the more sickened I am by JA, and the more profoundly disturbed, angry, and saddened I am by the terrible emotional and psychological pain she caused Travis.

Truthfully, I'll be glad when I can stop thinking about any and all of what she did to him.

 

[samspace070]

Journaling is important to the LDS faith. Here's a link that explains why: http://www.mormonwiki.com/Keeping_a_Journal

It doesn't shock me that she mirrored everything that he did. She had no personality of her own and leached the personality of the people around her. I don't think she ever had an original thought. Even her "artwork" is not original. She's a human fascimilie. She's flesh and bone, that's all. No soul, no emotional depth.

That explains her better than anything I have heard. She is an empty vessel. Even in court she tried to look like that evil Defense Attorney JW.