I am very sorry for your loss and I agree that grief comes in very different ways. My father died very suddenly after being hospitalized with broken ribs. I was a mess on the 3 hour drive home and when I saw him. Right after that the family pastor prayed with us in the waiting room and mentioned something about praying for guidance as we made the decision about whether to turn his life support off. After he finished praying, I looked at him and said, "that will be the easiest decision we make this week." To outsiders that may seem a cold and weird statement. But my family had talked about this basically all our lives, we were in complete agreement on the decision and it was very clear to all of us that our father and husband was no longer there. So context is important.
And to your comment about the grocery store - one of my brothers had a brain tumor when we were teens and the prognosis was dire. My mother still talks about the hardest thing for her to do during that period was go to the grocery store, where everyone else wS living a normal life. (My brother is still alive, btw, but there was two years of roller coasters, treatments and the constant worry.)
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Thank you Doghairrules for your condolence, (and thank you GA_peach also). He was only 44 and such a sharp, witty, hilariously funny man. I was in such complete denial that he could die from his illness! Even at the traditional Irish Catholic service, I just could not equate the body being presented, as having housed such a lovely man, just days ago...
I am sorry you lost your Dad, so unexpectedly too! Happy that that you still have your Brother. Your Mom is right about the normalcy of life, feeling almost obscene somehow... People shopping for cookies, or hotdogs... strangers exchanging polite small talk while pleasant music plays softly in the backround...when there has been such a huge rift in our lives, the word just goes on around us, and we can feel more alone at those times.
More on topic; I recall, as a child, there was this big campaign, with ads on TV and just everywhere, urging folks to be sure to remove the doors off of old refrigerators before discarding them, as kids were climbing inside, and becoming trapped and suffocating. I also recall the trunk of cars being another area where curious children were meeting the same fate, while playing Hide-n-Go Seek...
What I don't remember are Murder charges. Not for Hot Car deaths, or any of the other accidental deaths that could/would be considered criminal today. These tragedies were generally considered horrible accidents, for which the parents would pay a life sentence in pain and remorse. There was sympathy for the loss of their child. Perhaps that was not the correct response in some cases, but I feel we have gone to the other extreme these days.
Now we want not only charges filed, but a public lynching. We want cameras in the court rooms so we can witness the slightest affliction exhibited by those we feel we have every right to judge.
I suppose it could be said that we have become more intolerant, of things that never should have been tollorated, but it feels like we have also become a crueler, more judgemental and bloodthirsty society...
In this case, the thing I am hearing being used as *proof* of premeditated murder, in some people's minds, is the short amount of time RH had to *forget* Cooper. But that is exactly how the mind often works when you forget something...You forget for a second...and because he pulled into his work, in that small time frame I feel he could have acted like he did any other day, after dropping off cooper. So yes. I do think he could have auto piloted in that short time frame, if it had been a considerably longer drive, I would find that more troubling tuthfully. JMO.