This case hurts my heart just like it does for everyone here. When it first was reported I thought it was just another tragic, preventable accident. Very soon afterward, I read of the father's arrest, the supposed internet searches by both parents on child car death, and the seemingly odd reactions by the parents to their baby's death. As the facts unfold, doubt on the accuracy of some of the initial reporting seems evident.
Since then I had my own beloved son die suddenly without warning. That is still hard for me to even write. If someone had told me before hand that I would lose one of my beloved sons, I would have told them to not bother worrying about me, that I could not survive that. My life would just wither up and die. I have since learned that shock is a very odd emotion that allows one to mask the grief and pain and agony that is inside. The face I showed and continue to show to the world is not what I would have expected and most likely isn't the one anyone else expected either. I have learned to not judge what grief looks like, that it is not a prediction of how someone's heart is breaking. I know now that PTSD is not something that just happens to those in combat.
I've gone back and forth on my feelings about this case. I have had to dismiss what I feel about RH as a man, as a husband and even a father to distinguish between his guilt as a murderer from that of his guilt of adultery, sexting minors and of being just generally dis-likable and hypocritical.
The other evening I went to the website of KidsInCars.org. I read every single heartbreaking story of the parents that left their children in a car. While most of them did have a significant break in their normal routine that explained the false memory of dropping their child off at the sitters or daycare, some did not. Some were sleep deprived, stressed, worried. One father ran into a co-worker and became so distracted with conversation with him that he left to go on job site with him, forgetting the baby in his car. Others had similar distractions and lack of sleep and stress were predominate in their stories. .
Near my town we had a recent tragic car death. The mother was an attorney for a large school district. Her routine was to take the baby to the day care and then begin her 45 min commute to the school administration office. On this day she forgot to take the baby to daycare and drove on to work. Whether she had a phone call that distracted her or had her mind on a stressful meeting awaiting her or any other distractions, I do not know. All I know is that she reportedly left work that afternoon and went into the daycare center to pick up her child. That is when she was told her child was not there and she realized he was still in the car.
From all accounts this was a child cherished by her and her husband. His sweet obituary said they they had struggled with infertility before being blessed with this baby. Her Instagram showed happy, loving pictures of a motherly pride in showing off her baby at his recent first birthday.
We would all like to believe this can only happen to other people, to bad parents, to someone that didn't care or love their child enough to protect them. Someone like RH. But I don't believe that to be true. After reading the heart rendering stories of real parents that have suffered this nightmare, I believe that the many pressures on working parents, the increased distractions of technology and even the policies regarding the rear facing car seats (which I know protects and is recommended) has lead to these babies dying.
I am leaning toward believing that RH was so addicted to sex and his mind was so all consumed with what his next texting escapade was going to be that his mind either provided him a false memory of taking his child to daycare or the baby was just was forgotten all together.
While this is not as easy to accept as that of a parent that had a change in routine or a stressful meeting at work, I think it was just a big of a mental distraction. I think he is an immoral, immature, self centered human being but I don't think that necessarily means he murdered his child. I think that his personal history makes it much easier to believe he planned this out as an escape from an unhappy marriage and obligations. But I am left with reasonable doubt if that is the truth.
http://www.houstonchronicle.com/new...h-in-car-in-Dayton-coincides-with-9240494.php