Looking back over the years, I think a few of the reasons that we allow people to take advantage of us are:
1. We don’t set boundaries and/or we don’t know when to say no. (e.g. it’s hard to identify what/how we are feeling until it’s too late, aka meltdowns, shutdowns, burnouts). And we don’t want to let others down/disappoint them.
2. We have a natural inclination to help others and although this is a great gift, it is also an exhausting one. Mentally, physically & emotionally.
3. Females on the spectrum are MUCH different than males. Unlike males, females have a strong desire to have friendships, especially with other females. They want to belong and fit in. They want relationships. (This has been proven via a huge case study, lasting several years on tens of thousands of both male and female ASDers, that show the difference between their brains using MRI brain scans. And IMHAspieO, this is why so many autistic females go undiagnosed or under-diagnosed for so long, especially us older Aspies. Also, I have the link to the study, and will post it if I can dig through my copious amounts of research and find it!) This was true for me, for most of my entire life. And thus allowing myself to be used.
Added #4 @ 12:57AM: When we are younger we really don’t realize when and how people use us. It’s like we’re utterly blind, and completely oblivious. Until sometimes it’s too late. MOO.
I’m hoping & praying that Brianna is found safe, and soon!
ETA: When I was younger, I always found it easier to form friendships with older adults, and now I find it easier to have friendships with younger people, like 18 and under. Like my son’s friends, especially when he was in high school. And the children of my friends at church. I don’t know if this applies to all autistics or if it’s just me. And I don’t even know why I’m like this, but I am. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯