TX - 'Lori Ruff', Longview, WhtFem UP9863, *General Discussion and Theories* #1

[fred&edna]

1) The Ruff family had a family friend who was a congressman who served on the House intelligence committee. It was this congressman who brought the case to Velling's attention because they were scared that she was a 'KGB Mole'. Okay?!?! Why would they be scared? Why are they associated to House intelligence? Does the Ruff family have something to hide? What would a KBG mole possibly gain from marrying into the Ruff clan?

2) Is it just me or does anyone else see the coincidence that the note page includes a bunch of phone company details and then she ultimately married someone who worked for Verizon?

3) She *MUST* have revealed some amount of true details of her past and childhood to Blake in the time that they were married. Almost every fiction writer weaves a certain degree of truth into their novels. FLEK would have to be so incredibly detached from reality to construct an entirely different back story that does not draw from actual experiences. ie. hubby and I were driving on holidays and there were so many sights and places that compelled us to share our past experiences. Like going to such-and-such lake with so-and-so on certain dates. These little clues likely reveal more than the Ruff family realize or want to sincerely acknowledge. They seem to be too fixated on their own perspectives to consider that FLEK wasn't all that they allege her to be. Funny how the Seattle Times article claims, "Lori constantly found fault with them. She’d hold on to every perceived slight and complain about them incessantly." Blake must have been totally caught in the cross-fire because the same could be said about the Ruff's. I wonder how content Blake would have been in his marriage had his family not been so critical or imposing on their son's marriage. On one hand, they claim that he took things at face value (implies that he is laid back), yet he could not handle the tension between his wife and parents.

The article states how FLEK tried desperately to win Blake back, despite him moving back in with his parents and how involved his twin was in their counselling meetings. Yet, upon her death, he was inconsolable. It really gives me the impression that they loved and accepted one another and found a balance that the parents did not approve of.

4) The note page appears to have been folded into quarters. Could this have affected the orientation and sequences of her note taking?

5) It has been stated that the evidence shared has been vetted and selected in regards to 'relevance'. I think that this aspect is problematic because the relevance is being determined by other parties. Who knows how the rest of the cache of evidence could provide insight/answers from others? Either way....Velling approached the media for help and to expand the exposure to his mystery. Websleuth members have did some top-notch brainstorming and research...likely providing clues or perspectives that the investigators had not considered before. I think that an update or touch-base would be considerate of Velling on the current standing of research....otherwise, we are just spinning our wheels and tossing out theories without much validation on his behalf. I think that I may slow down my dedication to this search until we get a 'hotter-colder' clue from Velling's corner.

BBM... I've been thinking the same thing! I also thought maybe the ST reporter would release more info/evidence which would definitely help.

 

[ClaireNC]

Respectfully snipped to just address some of your points....

1) The Ruff family had a family friend who was a congressman who served on the House intelligence committee. ...Why would they be scared? ...

2) Is it just me or does anyone else see the coincidence that the note page includes a bunch of phone company details and then she ultimately married someone who worked for Verizon?

3) She *MUST* have revealed some amount of true details of her past and childhood to Blake in the time that they were married...
(Upon her death he was inconsolable...) It really gives me the impression that they loved and accepted one another and found a balance that the parents did not approve of.

4) The note page appears to have been folded into quarters. Could this have affected the orientation and sequences of her note taking?

5) It has been stated that the evidence shared has been vetted and selected in regards to 'relevance'. I think that an update or touch-base would be considerate of Velling on the current standing of research....otherwise, we are just spinning our wheels and tossing out theories without much validation on his behalf. I think that I may slow down my dedication to this search until we get a 'hotter-colder' clue from Velling's corner.

1) The family is an influential (rich) family from Texas. They have political clout. The congressman was doing a favor for political reasons. It made a good story to print it with the KGB reference, no need to read any more into that.

2)I don't think the phone numbers on the note page had anything to do with Blake's occupation. More likely that she was doing research and reaching out to those companies to obtain old telephone books.

3) Not necessarily, some people are just very good at not revealing anything about their past. They were not really married all that long. He was living with his parents when she committed suicide. If my ex, the father of my children, committed suicide in my parent's driveway, I would be inconsolable, too. He and I have been divorced for almost 20 years. Again, it was dramatic writing on the reporter's part combined with a little bit of truth.

4) Yes the Note page was folded...She had it for a long time. I don't think it is related to how she wrote the notes.

5)We don't know if what Velling shared and the Seattle Times chose to post was "vetted" for relevance. Dramatic value for the reader was probably a major factor in deciding what was published. It would be great if they would give us an update, but that is unlikely to happen. I agree that we are reaching a point where we can't take the research much further without some additional information.

 

[fred&edna]

RSBM

It would be great if they would give us an update, but that is unlikely to happen. I agree that we are reaching a point where we can't take the research much further without some additional information.

You're probably right on this, too... ClaireNC.

The only reason I have some hope that O'Hagan (ST reporter) might provide an update which includes a few more clues is because the initial article generated quite a bit of attention - more readers, more hits on the ST site - which M. Kreamer (ST editor) had to love.

 

[Sherwood Park]

1) The Ruff family had a family friend who was a congressman who served on the House intelligence committee. It was this congressman who brought the case to Velling's attention because they were scared that she was a 'KGB Mole'. Okay?!?! Why would they be scared? Why are they associated to House intelligence? Does the Ruff family have something to hide? What would a KBG mole possibly gain from marrying into the Ruff clan?

Response:
The Ruff family had every right to be afraid. Their daughter-in-law was mentally unstable and quite secretive about who she was. If she had caused any of them harm I think they knew they might have a difficult time tracking her down. The in-laws were a lot more intelligent than their son was.

The Ruff's friend happened to be on that committee, it doesn't meant the Ruff's have a shady life. It would make sense to ask a friend who had the knowledge to help them track down the true identity of their daughter-in-law.

As for the KGB mole, I'm sure they didn't pull that idea out of thin air. I wouldn't doubt they associated it with something they found out or knew about their daughter-in-law. Maybe that is the only spy agency the family could think of; they are an older couple.

3) She *MUST* have revealed some amount of true details of her past and childhood to Blake in the time that they were married. These little clues likely reveal more than the Ruff family realize or want to sincerely acknowledge.

Response:
I'm sure the Ruff in-laws paid close attention every little word she had said about her past. I'm sure they wanted to find out anything they could about who she really was.

They seem to be too fixated on their own perspectives to consider that FLEK wasn't all that they allege her to be. Funny how the Seattle Times article claims, "Lori constantly found fault with them. She’d hold on to every perceived slight and complain about them incessantly."

Response:
I don't doubt this is how "Lori" behaved. This is a woman who had an identity to hide. Think of how much stress she had to have been under having to wake up to a fraudulent lie everyday. "Lori" is a woman who didn't have any friends and that says something about who might have been as a person. Think about it? No friends at your wedding, no friends at your funeral, no friends during your lifetime. This is just too strange.

Blake must have been totally caught in the cross-fire because the same could be said about the Ruff's. I wonder how content Blake would have been in his marriage had his family not been so critical or imposing on their son's marriage. On one hand, they claim that he took things at face value (implies that he is laid back), yet he could not handle the tension between his wife and parents.

Response:
Blake doesn't seem like a bright man! He was married to a criminal who was cold enough to steal the identity of a deceased child. That's pretty disturbing. The Ruff family was correct all along, there was something shady and not right about their daughter-in-law. In my opinion, they didn't fight hard enough. I would have had a private investigator on her trail right away. There is no way I'd let my child marry someone who had zero past.

The article states how FLEK tried desperately to win Blake back, despite him moving back in with his parents and how involved his twin was in their counselling meetings. Yet, upon her death, he was inconsolable. It really gives me the impression that they loved and accepted one another and found a balance that the parents did not approve of.

.

Response:
His reaction is appropriate for a man who has to deal with the mother of his daughter taking her life in front of their family's home during the holiday. I don't think anyone would want to celebrate Christmas. I'm not sure why anyone would want to accept a criminal into their home, especially one as dishonest as "Lori".
I often wonder if her life would have been positively different if she had come clean about her past and her true identity. A healthy marriage and family can not have lies and crimes as its foundation.

 

[Linda9681]

Response:
His reaction is appropriate for a man who has to deal with the mother of his daughter taking her life in front of their family's home during the holiday. I don't think anyone would want to celebrate Christmas. I'm not sure why anyone would want to accept a criminal into their home, especially one as dishonest as "Lori".
I often wonder if her life would have been positively different if she had come clean about her past and her true identity. A healthy marriage and family can not have lies and crimes as its foundation.

Really you should not judge her or call her a criminal. You don't know what she went through or had happen to her. She could have been hiding from an abuser or people who would harm her daughter.

 

[masootz]

i think it's reasonable and easy enough to believe what we've been told - the husband was close to his family and there was an ongoing issue in his marriage with lr pulling him away from his family. eventually stuff like that can lead to big issues and divorce. it's not surprising and certainly not unusual especially if what we've been told about her not getting along with them when she WAS around them is true.

 

[Sherwood Park]

Really you should not judge her or call her a criminal. You don't know what she went through or had happen to her. She could have been hiding from an abuser or people who would harm her daughter.

I'm not judging her. The reason I used the word criminal was because she had committed identity theft; this is a crime.

I don't know who or what she was hiding from. Regardless for her reasons, she still could have done a legal name change.

Her identity theft has nothing to do with protecting her daughter as her little girl was not yet born.

I strongly believe that everyone deserves to know the true identity of the person they are married to regardless of the circumstances. She is lucky to have married into the Ruff family, because if she had married into my nosy family she would have been found out within no time.

My only hope for her true identity being revealed is for the sake of her daughter. This is not the type of mystery any child should have hanging over them.

 

[Linda9681]

I'm not judging her. The reason I used the word criminal was because she had committed identity theft; this is a crime.


I don't know who or what she was hiding from. Regardless for her reasons, she still could have done a legal name change.

Her identity theft has nothing to do with protecting her daughter as her little girl was not yet born.

I strongly believe that everyone deserves to know the true identity of the person they are married to regardless of the circumstances. She is lucky to have married into the Ruff family, because if she had married into my nosy family she would have been found out within no time.

My only hope for her true identity being revealed is for the sake of her daughter. This is not the type of mystery any child should have hanging over them.

Oh, welcome new member. Your post sounds judgmental. Sorry. Lots of cases on this forum involve a criminal element so to speak. It will not be of service o you to think along lines of black and white. We are all criminals in some form or fashion.

Do you speed, or fudge your taxes? Lie about your weight on a legal document? All crimes. Must be a criminal! ( me too) just saying you sound too black and white about the law and that came off to me as judgmental. I have a background in federal law enforcement, and there is no black and white. I had a lawyer friend who smoked pot daily. I could go on and on. Look at politics, all criminals. Sexting, lying, funneling funds not appropriated...

 

[Linda9681]

I'm not judging her. The reason I used the word criminal was because she had committed identity theft; this is a crime.

I don't know who or what she was hiding from. Regardless for her reasons, she still could have done a legal name change.

Her identity theft has nothing to do with protecting her daughter as her little girl was not yet born.

I strongly believe that everyone deserves to know the true identity of the person they are married to regardless of the circumstances. She is lucky to have married into the Ruff family, because if she had married into my nosy family she would have been found out within no time.

My only hope for her true identity being revealed is for the sake of her daughter. This is not the type of mystery any child should have hanging over them.

And I am aware her daughter was not born when she changed her ID but she may have kept her self hidden to protect her loved ones as she felt there was still a threat( like the lebaron situation).

If she really needed to sever ties to a dangerous past she HAD to go a route that left no paper trail, as a legal name change does.

 

[Sherwood Park]

Oh, welcome new member. Your post sounds judgmental. Sorry. Lots of cases on this forum involve a criminal element so to speak. It will not be of service o you to think along lines of black and white. We are all criminals in some form or fashion.

Do you speed, or fudge your taxes? Lie about your weight on a legal document? All crimes. Must be a criminal! ( me too) just saying you sound too black and white about the law and that came off to me as judgmental. I have a background in federal law enforcement, and there is no black and white. I had a lawyer friend who smoked pot daily. I could go on and on. Look at politics, all criminals. Sexting, lying, funneling funds not appropriated...

I get your point Linda9681. Sorry, I'm sensitive about Identity Theft because I've had that happen to me and it is super frustrating to get something like that cleared up. I wasn't thinking about the life circumstances of the person who stole my identity while getting everything sorted out and I didn't care. It cost me a lot of time and money.

As I've said before, my main hope is for her daughter. Sometimes I think, if her past life was really horrible, maybe it's a good thing that her daughter never finds out. I don't know. When her daughter comes of age, if she wants to continue the search then it'll be her choice.

 

[masootz]

for my part i identify her as a criminal. she stole someone's id and used it to create a false identity. she lied to her husband and his family about her past. she created false references, falsified her resume, lied about her history, etc. that's nowhere near speeding or jaywalking as far as criminal indiscretions.

 

[Linda9681]

I get your point Linda9681. Sorry, I'm sensitive about Identity Theft because I've had that happen to me and it is super frustrating to get something like that cleared up. I wasn't thinking about the life circumstances of the person who stole my identity while getting everything sorted out and I didn't care. It cost me a lot of time and money.

As I've said before, my main hope is for her daughter. Sometimes I think, if her past life was really horrible, maybe it's a good thing that her daughter never finds out. I don't know. When her daughter comes of age, if she wants to continue the search then it'll be her choice.

Yikes! Sorry that happened to you! At least FLEK used a deceased persons ID. IMO people who steal living people's ID are craptastic. Mostly for financial gain, ugh. I can see where you are coming from! It's neat this board is so diverse! I really think that diversity will be helpful in solving this mystery!

 

[Owutatangledweb]

All kinds of a reasons why a kid might not have a birth certificate or social security number. UGH. DIsgusting animals.


http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/07/2...-years-for-father-convicted-raping-daughters/

 

[AstroKitty]

for whatever reason, i thought of lek when i had looked at this photo and read the article. they look like sisters.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/...s-okun-guilty_n_3663610.html?utm_hp_ref=crime

 

[Linda9681]

Hi kitty! Glad u r back

 

[AstroKitty]

Hi kitty! Glad u r back

I never went anywhere - other than not checking this thread lol. Thank you though!

my post probably didn't yield any new thoughts but in the 1 shot on huffington post (her photo) she reminded myself and tourmate of lek. Just found it interesting and sort of an angle. i have asked or basically engaged in a convo about this case, with several people i tour with. everyone agreed that they don't feel lek was ever a stripper, if in fact the description of her behavior is factual (the isolation, oddness and non discloser of her past in any way). not that everyone grills a new girl on where she came from or what her parents did (questions about your parents are rare) - but if someone came to work at the club and was very quiet, anti-social and shared nothing about herself (the former two sentiments being the big factors) - she would send up red flags and no one would want to work along side her. even though stripping is legal, a lot of illegal activity does go on and no one wants a narc in their dressing room/club or in the same vip area. i also can't picture an overtly paranoid person with socializing issues working as a stripper - where being social is 100% required and your paranoia would make you nuts, to say the very least. could you ever imagine running from your past and working a club where all walks of life will stumble in, that you have no dictation on who does see you - where you are forced to talk to people, who have $ and high up positions in the work force and often customers who want to 'save you'? i know that many people think all we do is jiggle ourselves around to music but we make more $ by being a damn therapist. most customers just want to talk, to feel needed and for once be treated like their life is interesting and important. these are what they lack at home (according to them). only on weekends and 20% of the customers during the week tend to be only about the dances. in fact, it's rare. it's sort of uncomfortable to get a lapdance without some sense of knowing the person. she had to talk to customers, had to - she had to engage and relate to them in order to make $. there's no way in hell she did so with all the issues she is supposed to have had.

she totally could have been a dancer, and the "personality" we are hearing about may have been either fabricated, greatly exaggerated or something that started to be prevalent as she became older. who knows. until the ex boyfriend or a co-worker comes forward and backs up anyones statements regarding her, i tend to side with it all being b.s. to some degree with only what the medical examiner, facts on papers - being the only truths.

i won't bring up sex work again, i just wanted to touch base and throw in that i asked other dancers etc what their opinions are. oddly most thought she didn't lie about her age, that she looked the right age based on her skin firmness and the skin on her neck, hands etc. botox wasn't a big thing until the very late 90's early 2000's. fillers weren't widely used either at that point, and the ones that were didn't look that even or smooth.

i don't know why i didn't think of this but, it's very possible that the reason she had a hard time getting pregnant was from years of being on birth-control at being older than 30. there's also a possibility she suffered sexual trauma at a young age and the scarring did damage, or she had endometriosis. even abortions of the surgical nature can make it hard to get pregnant. it could be so many other factors other than age.

 

[SideKick]

Well, she could have tried 'dancing' for a short time, realizing it was not for her (in desperate times). She may have met the boyfriend during this chapter... As far as seriously stripping ... Dancing in a social enviro, I don't see it, knowing what little I do about this very mysterious woman.

To me, she looks very South American/Mexican/Porto Rico-ish...

 

[smiles_001]

Good post Kitty. I agree with you, I have a really hard time picturing LEK as a stripper and especially when you said lapdance..lol, for some reason, I just can't see it. If her ex bf said she was a "dancer," did they have places where women danced without stripping? A go go dancer maybe? lol I hope don't sound like an idiot..pretty sheltered life here.:blushing:

Another thing, she is so tall and big boned, do you work with anyone that size? It just seems like she would be somewhat uncoordinated. On the other hand, if she was desperate and broke, maybe she forced herself to be outgoing, or maybe we are wrong and she was outgoing in her young life.

Maybe it was only as she got older that her depression and other problems started surfacing.

 

[Linda9681]

I never went anywhere - other than not checking this thread lol. Thank you though!

my post probably didn't yield any new thoughts but in the 1 shot on huffington post (her photo) she reminded myself and tourmate of lek. Just found it interesting and sort of an angle. i have asked or basically engaged in a convo about this case, with several people i tour with. everyone agreed that they don't feel lek was ever a stripper, if in fact the description of her behavior is factual (the isolation, oddness and non discloser of her past in any way). not that everyone grills a new girl on where she came from or what her parents did (questions about your parents are rare) - but if someone came to work at the club and was very quiet, anti-social and shared nothing about herself (the former two sentiments being the big factors) - she would send up red flags and no one would want to work along side her. even though stripping is legal, a lot of illegal activity does go on and no one wants a narc in their dressing room/club or in the same vip area. i also can't picture an overtly paranoid person with socializing issues working as a stripper - where being social is 100% required and your paranoia would make you nuts, to say the very least. could you ever imagine running from your past and working a club where all walks of life will stumble in, that you have no dictation on who does see you - where you are forced to talk to people, who have $ and high up positions in the work force and often customers who want to 'save you'? i know that many people think all we do is jiggle ourselves around to music but we make more $ by being a damn therapist. most customers just want to talk, to feel needed and for once be treated like their life is interesting and important. these are what they lack at home (according to them). only on weekends and 20% of the customers during the week tend to be only about the dances. in fact, it's rare. it's sort of uncomfortable to get a lapdance without some sense of knowing the person. she had to talk to customers, had to - she had to engage and relate to them in order to make $. there's no way in hell she did so with all the issues she is supposed to have had.

she totally could have been a dancer, and the "personality" we are hearing about may have been either fabricated, greatly exaggerated or something that started to be prevalent as she became older. who knows. until the ex boyfriend or a co-worker comes forward and backs up anyones statements regarding her, i tend to side with it all being b.s. to some degree with only what the medical examiner, facts on papers - being the only truths.

i won't bring up sex work again, i just wanted to touch base and throw in that i asked other dancers etc what their opinions are. oddly most thought she didn't lie about her age, that she looked the right age based on her skin firmness and the skin on her neck, hands etc. botox wasn't a big thing until the very late 90's early 2000's. fillers weren't widely used either at that point, and the ones that were didn't look that even or smooth.

i don't know why i didn't think of this but, it's very possible that the reason she had a hard time getting pregnant was from years of being on birth-control at being older than 30. there's also a possibility she suffered sexual trauma at a young age and the scarring did damage, or she had endometriosis. even abortions of the surgical nature can make it hard to get pregnant. it could be so many other factors other than age.

I agree with all of the above. My husband use to be a bouncer in a strip club and he pretty much said this exactly. He thought she could have been a cocktail waitress in a club, but not a dancer.
I have said from day one she was not older. She looks just the right age to me. I have infertility and I am 39. I had one successful pregnancy, then nothing. We don't know if she ever had a child before or not. Your odds of getting pregnant decline greatly after age 35. PCOS and other girl issues can cause infertility even in 20 y/o women. Thanks for this post Kitty, things that I had been thinking all along.

 

[smiles_001]

Tell me what age ya'll think she is again? I was born in '65 (48) and I was thinking in her last pictures, she looked maybe 45? I need to go look again.