TX - 'Lori Ruff', Longview, WhtFem UP9863, *General Discussion and Theories* #5

[Gardener1850]

Maybe she had narcolepsy. Seriously. I mean, taking a nap? As antisocial behaviors go, that ranks right up there with wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

I'm skeptical about the veracity of that Seattle Times article, partly because I don't think that writer interviewed anybody other than her husband and her in-laws--who clearly seemed to despise her, specifically complaining about:

1. She never told them that she illegally changed her identity.
2. She "fought" her in-laws "at every turn". How did she fight them? What did they fight over? Money? Sports teams? Politics? What?
3. During family get-togethers, she would slip away to take a nap. OMFG! We don't know how many times this happened, and we don't really even know the circumstances under which these so-called "naps" occurred, but by God, we're led to believe that this could only be the behavior of a deranged shrew.

What else? DId she routinely fail to rewind movies she rented at Blockbuster? Wipe off the handle of her shopping cart with hand sanitizer every time she shopped? Disagree with her mother-in-law about whether Lite beer tasted great or had less filling?

My grandfather made an art form out of dozing off at family get-togethers, and I'm determined to carry on his legacy.

I agree with large parts of this--the Ruffs were biased in their opinion and we need another source for finding out more about Lori. However I do want to point out that toward the end of her life, when Lori and Blake were going through the divorce--they filed a restraining order against her. She allegedly sent emails making threats against them. At one point I read they suspected she was going to kill them on Christmas Eve, but killed herself instead when no one answered the door. When they went to her house after her death they called police because they were afraid she might have it rigged with bombs. I don't know, maybe the Ruffs blow everything out of proportion (them thinking Lori could be a KGB agent was a bit much IMO) but nevertheless these are actions and stories from people who seemed to fear for their lives. I can sort of see how that experience would make them hate Lori. On top of it all--she ruined their Christmas memories for all time by committing suicide in their driveway. Their family will never be the same. They have a little girl now who will never know her mother and won't now who her mother really was unless someone solves this. I'm not saying their descriptions of her and her behavior are all right and accurate but they had reason to describe her negatively. I can't blame them for being a bit bitter. I do wish so much that the journalist had looked to interview some friends of Lori. They interviewed the pastor who did marriage counseling and only knew her the last couple years of her life when she was a very disturbed person. What about the Pastor that married Lori and Blake? What about her past employers? Texas Business women associates?

 

[lisapr355]

I've been married in Texas and Maryland. Both times I had to provide my birth certificate and on the records, it states everything from my birth certificate.

 

[Laughing]

:goodpost:

 

[SavetheQueen]

I agree with large parts of this--the Ruffs were biased in their opinion and we need another source for finding out more about Lori. However I do want to point out that toward the end of her life, when Lori and Blake were going through the divorce--they filed a restraining order against her. She allegedly sent emails making threats against them. At one point I read they suspected she was going to kill them on Christmas Eve, but killed herself instead when no one answered the door. When they went to her house after her death they called police because they were afraid she might have it rigged with bombs. I don't know, maybe the Ruffs blow everything out of proportion (them thinking Lori could be a KGB agent was a bit much IMO) but nevertheless these are actions and stories from people who seemed to fear for their lives. I can sort of see how that experience would make them hate Lori. On top of it all--she ruined their Christmas memories for all time by committing suicide in their driveway. Their family will never be the same. They have a little girl now who will never know her mother and won't now who her mother really was unless someone solves this. I'm not saying their descriptions of her and her behavior are all right and accurate but they had reason to describe her negatively. I can't blame them for being a bit bitter. I do wish so much that the journalist had looked to interview some friends of Lori. They interviewed the pastor who did marriage counseling and only knew her the last couple years of her life when she was a very disturbed person. What about the Pastor that married Lori and Blake? What about her past employers? Texas Business women associates?

The KGB is so 1980s. WTH did that come from even? SMH... 😐

I agree 100% that there are no doubts they had valid fears. After all, she delivered on her threats. Not exactly in the manner she probably promised to, but she made true on them with her actions.

Trying hard to remain unbiased, but how much of her behavior was incited by outside influences? How much was mental illness escalating? Was it a combination of both?

I did ask my younger sister who lives near Leonard if I could post a link to the case on her Facebook. She said to send it to her instead. I did. That's the last I've heard. I asked if she knew anyone with the business women's group, and when she asked why I wanted to know, I mentioned this case. Again, that's the end of the discussion. Not saying that negatively. Just saying that that's a tight knit place there.

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise stated. *

 

[Gardener1850]

The KGB is so 1980s. WTH did that come from even? SMH... 

I agree 100% that there are no doubts they had valid fears. After all, she delivered on her threats. Not exactly in the manner she probably promised to, but she made true on them with her actions.

Trying hard to remain unbiased, but how much of her behavior was incited by outside influences? How much was mental illness escalating? Was it a combination of both?

I did ask my younger sister who lives near Leonard if I could post a link to the case on her Facebook. She said to send it to her instead. I did. That's the last I've heard. I asked if she knew anyone with the business women's group, and when she asked why I wanted to know, I mentioned this case. Again, that's the end of the discussion. Not saying that negatively. Just saying that that's a tight knit place there.

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise stated. *

BBM. Interesting. I recall reading that the news in Longview did not cover this story out of respect for the family. I don't know how true that is. I wonder if Leonard newspapers felt the same way? Has anyone tried to post this story (like the Seattle Times story) to Longview and Leonard social media pages? Maybe if enough people who were local to where the Ruff live/lived saw it we would get more people to come forward who knew Lori. Dallas and all the suburbs she lived in should probably be covered as well.

 

[SavetheQueen]

BBM. Interesting. I recall reading that the news in Longview did not cover this story out of respect for the family. I don't know how true that is. I wonder if Leonard newspapers felt the same way? Has anyone tried to post this story (like the Seattle Times story) to Longview and Leonard social media pages? Maybe if enough people who were local to where the Ruff live/lived saw it we would get more people to come forward who knew Lori. Dallas and all the suburbs she lived in should probably be covered as well.

Over the weekend, I reached out to a friend who is a lifelong resident of Longview. If anyone would talk about anything at all that they may know or have heard, it would be this guy. (We all have that one friend.) I sent him the Seattle Times article, and the Wikipedia link just for general info. After reading, he said that he's never heard of the Ruffs. He asked his wife, who is a real estate agent in Longview, and she doesn't know who they are, either. I was under the impression that the Ruff family was an affluent, well known family. Pillars of the community types. Am I incorrect????

When I lived in Leonard, the only newspaper for the area was the Fannin County Special, a weekly, and then a daily out of the town of Bonham, the next town north. Also, at that time, Leonard was a quiet farming community with just a couple of small gas stations, and a school, and Oklahoma was closer than Dallas was. Now, it's virtually a far suburb of North Dallas, and a rather upscale one at that, where people who work in the big city raise their families. Right at the end of the 90s, the Texas Department of Criminal Justice put 2 prisons in near a crossroads of 2 state highways in the sleepy town of Bonham, and brought life to the landscape in the way of jobs, stores, housing, etc. Before that, the area was really only known as being the home of Speaker of the House, Sam Rayburn.

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise stated.*

 

[nannymo]

FWIW, I have a friend and a cousin who are lifelong residents of Longview. My friend is 35ish, my cousin 70ish. My cousin is very well-to-do and neither one has ever heard of them or this story.....Doesn't mean anything really because I wouldn't know anything about it either if I wasn't on Websleuth's!

 

[Gardener1850]

Over the weekend, I reached out to a friend who is a lifelong resident of Longview. If anyone would talk about anything at all that they may know or have heard, it would be this guy. (We all have that one friend.) I sent him the Seattle Times article, and the Wikipedia link just for general info. After reading, he said that he's never heard of the Ruffs. He asked his wife, who is a real estate agent in Longview, and she doesn't know who they are, either. I was under the impression that the Ruff family was an affluent, well known family. Pillars of the community types. Am I incorrect????

When I lived in Leonard, the only newspaper for the area was the Fannin County Special, a weekly, and then a daily out of the town of Bonham, the next town north. Also, at that time, Leonard was a quiet farming community with just a couple of small gas stations, and a school, and Oklahoma was closer than Dallas was. Now, it's virtually a far suburb of North Dallas, and a rather upscale one at that, where people who work in the big city raise their families. Right at the end of the 90s, the Texas Department of Criminal Justice put 2 prisons in near a crossroads of 2 state highways in the sleepy town of Bonham, and brought life to the landscape in the way of jobs, stores, housing, etc. Before that, the area was really only known as being the home of Speaker of the House, Sam Rayburn.

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise stated.*

I have always had that impression as well about the Ruffs--I thought they were wealthy, well-known and had influence/connections. I mean they asked a "senator friend" (or was it a congressman?) to give a binder about Lori to the SSN. They self-described their family as a "boomer" family, implying their ancestors came to Longview for the oil business. These things say "wealthy" and that they have deep roots in the community. But what do we really know about them that hasn't come from their own mouths? Not much beyond what can be found with a basic genealogy search--they have lived in Longview for several generations. I would think that means most others who are long-time Longview residents would know the family. I don't know much about Longview though. How big is it? Is it spread out or are the homes close together? Maybe their social circles just have never intersected with your friend? So strange that few people know about Lori's story! Every place I have ever lived it would be big news.

ETA: a quick search tells me that Longview is much larger than I thought--it's around 81,000. That's not a small town. That's a small city. Makes a difference but still this story should run there and elsewhere where Lori lived, IMO.

 

[SavetheQueen]

I have always had that impression as well about the Ruffs--I thought they were wealthy, well-known and had influence/connections. I mean they asked a "senator friend" (or was it a congressman?) to give a binder about Lori to the SSN. They self-described their family as a "boomer" family, implying their ancestors came to Longview for the oil business. These things say "wealthy" and that they have deep roots in the community. But what do we really know about them that hasn't come from their own mouths? Not much beyond what can be found with a basic genealogy search--they have lived in Longview for several generations. I would think that means most others who are long-time Longview residents would know the family. I don't know much about Longview though. How big is it? Is it spread out or are the homes close together? Maybe their social circles just have never intersected with your friend? So strange that few people know about Lori's story! Every place I have ever lived it would be big news.

ETA: a quick search tells me that Longview is much larger than I thought--it's around 81,000. That's not a small town. That's a small city. Makes a difference but still this story should run there and elsewhere where Lori lived, IMO.

Well....80,000 people, it's no Houston or Austin, but we call it city here. It's one of those places that's large enough to have nice stores and amenities, but it's still small enough to see a few people you know on the streets. And there's a lot of money in that town. Not by Midland/ Odessa standards, but not shabby, either.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longview,_Texas

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise stated. *

 

[FrankieB]

Some excellent posts, this thread has me on the edge. I was also hoping somebody could reach out to the Texas businesswomen but I get the impression now they don't wish to talk about her? If the detective had only asked one friend or one acquientance we could have a better picture of what Lori was really like. Instead he chose to ignore them and tried to hunt down anyone pre 1988. The stripper comment? I don't buy it, as it has been mentioned before she fits more the waitress category. And even then I find it hard to believe she would feel at ease in such enviornment, wasn't she deeply religious? As for the naps, yes there could be multiple explanations for that, it doesn't really raise a huge red flag. Now here is something that puzzles me: what evidence did the police have at hand to claim she originally intended to murder the ruffs? The threatening emails? I ask this because it doesn't sound logical to write an 11 page note in the car, sounds like she arrived with the notes ready. So was the plan to murder the ruffs and then kill herself? And have Blake witness everything? I don't understand this plan. Why didn't the ruffs answer? Were they away or did the not hear her? I just don't get it, there are HUGE holes in this part of the story.

 

[BigCityAccountant]

Thanks for the detailed work!
I have a few addresses to add.


Another PO Box
210844 PO Box, Bedford, TX 76095-7844


Work Address
From passport application 03/90
Kelly Services/214-373-6736
8144 Walnut Hill Ln Ste 120
Dallas TX 75231

I wasn't familiar with that PO BOX, what is it from may I ask?

Here is something interesting, when I google that PO Box...Look what comes up?

 

[nannymo]

I used to visit often when I was small and I remember it as being spread out. Homes on large lots and huge tall pine trees. Beautiful town. I live in a town of just over 100,000 and I can pretty much guarantee all of the long-time well-to-do people know of each other even if they don't socialize. I am sure the Ruffs are upper middle class but maybe not as upper as it has been suggested. JMO

 

[Gardener1850]

Some excellent posts, this thread has me on the edge. I was also hoping somebody could reach out to the Texas businesswomen but I get the impression now they don't wish to talk about her? If the detective had only asked one friend or one acquientance we could have a better picture of what Lori was really like. Instead he chose to ignore them and tried to hunt down anyone pre 1988. The stripper comment? I don't buy it, as it has been mentioned before she fits more the waitress category. And even then I find it hard to believe she would feel at ease in such enviornment, wasn't she deeply religious? As for the naps, yes there could be multiple explanations for that, it doesn't really raise a huge red flag. Now here is something that puzzles me: what evidence did the police have at hand to claim she originally intended to murder the ruffs? The threatening emails? I ask this because it doesn't sound logical to write an 11 page note in the car, sounds like she arrived with the notes ready. So was the plan to murder the ruffs and then kill herself? And have Blake witness everything? I don't understand this plan. Why didn't the ruffs answer? Were they away or did the not hear her? I just don't get it, there are HUGE holes in this part of the story.

I agree there are holes and we have never seen the suicide investigation to know the answers. We don't know the content of her email threats. Maybe that is just what they thought she intended? They also said at one time they thought they heard her enter their house and something seemed out of place when they went to check (I forget what that was exactly) so they changed the locks. They seemed to be living in fear of her and so I'm guessing maybe their first reaction was that she intended to kill them? But that doesn't make sense unless there was something in the letter indicating that was her plan. The letter WAS only addressed to her daughter.

As to the stripper thing--that came from a ex-boyfriend whom she used as a reference, IIRC. It's been speculated before that the boyfriend was just a bitter ex who made up stories about her, but here's another what if: What if he really knows her story and helped her? What if he had been instructed if any LE ever came asking to just say she was a nobody with lots of problems? This is not meant as a dig against LE, but there is a stereotype that women who are strippers and prostitutes get less time devoted to their cases than "the girl-next store" (Again, disclaimer: I support LE and appreciate how hard their jobs are I'm just stating what the media portrays). Maybe by the boyfriend saying she was a stripper he thought he would knock her character down enough to take the interest off of finding out who she really was. It's that whole idea that "no one really cares about a stripper". Obviously, this is not true as a lot of us here care. But you have to wonder what this person actually told Velling and why we don't have anything about it in the FOIA report--Maybe Velling discounted it as not a good lead but he told the reporter about it anyway? I'm eagerly awaiting that new report Awillis put in for!

 

[Gardener1850]

I wasn't familiar with that PO BOX, what is it from may I ask?

Here is something interesting, when I google that PO Box...Look what comes up?

I don't have that PO Box on my list either.

 

[milkymama]

I agree there are holes and we have never seen the suicide investigation to know the answers. We don't know the content of her email threats. Maybe that is just what they thought she intended? They also said at one time they thought they heard her enter their house and something seemed out of place when they went to check (I forget what that was exactly) so they changed the locks. They seemed to be living in fear of her and so I'm guessing maybe their first reaction was that she intended to kill them? But that doesn't make sense unless there was something in the letter indicating that was her plan. The letter WAS only addressed to her daughter.

As to the stripper thing--that came from a ex-boyfriend whom she used as a reference, IIRC. It's been speculated before that the boyfriend was just a bitter ex who made up stories about her, but here's another what if: What if he really knows her story and helped her? What if he had been instructed if any LE ever came asking to just say she was a nobody with lots of problems? This is not meant as a dig against LE, but there is a stereotype that women who are strippers and prostitutes get less time devoted to their cases than "the girl-next store" (Again, disclaimer: I support LE and appreciate how hard their jobs are I'm just stating what the media portrays). Maybe by the boyfriend saying she was a stripper he thought he would knock her character down enough to take the interest off of finding out who she really was. It's that whole idea that "no one really cares about a stripper". Obviously, this is not true as a lot of us here care. But you have to wonder what this person actually told Velling and why we don't have anything about it in the FOIA report--Maybe Velling discounted it as not a good lead but he told the reporter about it anyway? I'm eagerly awaiting that new report Awillis put in for!

The articles are definitely one-sided.

Missing house keys: Doesn't mean they were stolen. I have lost more keys than cars I've owned.
Heard gate squeak: Did they see anyone? How fast was she? She didn't live near them, would have to have driven to their house to squeak the gate. If they heard a squeak and investigated and didn't see her, where did she go so fast and why would she squeak a gate and run off?
Threatening emails: Physically threatening? Or "I'll see you in court" threatening?
What about Blake's arrest, which certainly came with a restraining order against the victim? Was the victim Lori? If the victim was Lori, it is interesting that they didn't mention it. I don't see where Lori was charged with trespassing, or threatening emails, or anything related to the divorce or the Ruffs.

 

[SavetheQueen]

Some excellent posts, this thread has me on the edge. I was also hoping somebody could reach out to the Texas businesswomen but I get the impression now they don't wish to talk about her? If the detective had only asked one friend or one acquientance we could have a better picture of what Lori was really like. Instead he chose to ignore them and tried to hunt down anyone pre 1988. The stripper comment? I don't buy it, as it has been mentioned before she fits more the waitress category. And even then I find it hard to believe she would feel at ease in such enviornment, wasn't she deeply religious? As for the naps, yes there could be multiple explanations for that, it doesn't really raise a huge red flag. Now here is something that puzzles me: what evidence did the police have at hand to claim she originally intended to murder the ruffs? The threatening emails? I ask this because it doesn't sound logical to write an 11 page note in the car, sounds like she arrived with the notes ready. So was the plan to murder the ruffs and then kill herself? And have Blake witness everything? I don't understand this plan. Why didn't the ruffs answer? Were they away or did the not hear her? I just don't get it, there are HUGE holes in this part of the story.

On the stripper subject: sometimes women do what they have to do to get by in a town where they have little resources. It's quick, easy money. And it MAY also come into play with the previously mentioned possible criminal charge. Many times these types of businesses also involve the drug trade. All of this strictly speculation.

One thing that seems to go hand in hand with the stripper notation that I've seen is that she had a breast augmentation. * fake gasp* Well, so have I, and several of my female friends. None of us have ever danced on a stage for dollar bills. She doesn't look disproportionate in the pictures I've seen, so my guess would be that perhaps she had it done to semi alter her appearance. Didn't she also have rhinoplasty? A nose and boob job are commonly done at the same time. And maybe she was a bookkeeper or did liquor purchasing at one of the larger gentlemen's clubs. I'm not buying stripper, either.

Her suicide: Yes, it seems she came prepared to carry this out. I had read somewhere previously that one of the Ruff family went out to get the morning paper and found her dead in her vehicle. Let me go back and find where that was.

Where was her daughter at when she committed suicide? I've never seen that addressed. Not that it really matters, but I pray that baby didn't witness it.

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise stated. *

 

[SavetheQueen]

The articles are definitely one-sided.

Missing house keys: Doesn't mean they were stolen. I have lost more keys than cars I've owned.
Heard gate squeak: Did they see anyone? How fast was she? She didn't live near them, would have to have driven to their house to squeak the gate. If they heard a squeak and investigated and didn't see her, where did she go so fast and why would she squeak a gate and run off?
Threatening emails: Physically threatening? Or "I'll see you in court" threatening?
What about Blake's arrest, which certainly came with a restraining order against the victim? Was the victim Lori? If the victim was Lori, it is interesting that they didn't mention it. I don't see where Lori was charged with trespassing, or threatening emails, or anything related to the divorce or the Ruffs.

At 5'10", I don't see her being able to sneak around ninja style. I would think she would be fairly noticeable occasionally. Also, if she was living in Leonard, and they were living in Longview, that's a little bit of a drive to stalk. Not that it isn't possible or probable. I think some of this goes back to something happening once or twice, and suddenly it's "all the time".

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise stated. *

 

[Gardener1850]

The articles are definitely one-sided.

Missing house keys: Doesn't mean they were stolen. I have lost more keys than cars I've owned.
Heard gate squeak: Did they see anyone? How fast was she? She didn't live near them, would have to have driven to their house to squeak the gate. If they heard a squeak and investigated and didn't see her, where did she go so fast and why would she squeak a gate and run off?
Threatening emails: Physically threatening? Or "I'll see you in court" threatening?
What about Blake's arrest, which certainly came with a restraining order against the victim? Was the victim Lori? If the victim was Lori, it is interesting that they didn't mention it. I don't see where Lori was charged with trespassing, or threatening emails, or anything related to the divorce or the Ruffs.

BBM.
Ooh I had not heard about that.
I was wondering if you could dig up any cease and desist or restraining orders against Lori.

 

[BigCityAccountant]

I don't have that PO Box on my list either.

Did you notice the names associated with THAT PO Box?

 

[Gardener1850]

Did you notice the names associated with THAT PO Box?

Yes, I'm on the trail now