I have never hit my child ever. But my daughter seemed to get the idea ha ha you can't punish me if I touch you'll go to jail. Basically told her if I do go to jail I'll make sure it's a good reason. My point is it gives kids control over their parents and teens love to have control.
Heck there was a time you could get spankings in school when misbehaved and there was not school shootings then because kids were scared of consequences. Not that hitting is correct but sure as heck didn't have these problems when we could spank our kids.
I was beat for 18 years by me ex husband so I don't believe in hitting but I do believe in common sense and there was a time when we didn't have this problem.
So what has changed.
Two things have changed-
1. Years of certain political lobbies creating a culture in which guns have become part of the national identity, and extreme paranoia that our guns are going to be taken away whenever someone talks about gun control, both of which led to a massive increase in gun ownership, including stubborn gun ownership by people who should not have access to firearms or allow their children to have such access.
2. Creating notorious celebrities out of every mass murderer who uses guns. That has caused a copy-cat effect as it has given other alienated losers and loners the motivation to go do something like this.
There is zero evidence that any of these mass shooters were spoiled or not hit as children. The majority of Americans spank their kids still.
Advocating violence against children- having the person they should trust the most in the world use physical force with he intention of causing physical pain to the child as a means of "teaching" them is frankly disgusting to me.
Our prisons are full of people who were spanked, whipped, hit.
I don't think people who have spanked their kids are bad. I think most of us have given our kids a pop on the butt whether we believe in it or not. We do what was done to us. But I'm over people advocating violence against children as a means to resolve society's problems or to raise well adjusted, disciplined adults.
Studies are definitive. Multiple studies. Spanking, hitting causes much more negative than positive in general. Regardless of people's anecdotal evidence that they were spanked and turned out great.
Studies are definitive that populations of people who were spanked as children versus those who were not have higher rates of mental health issues like anxiety and depression, are more aggressive and have more behavioral issues, more sexual dysfunction. Etc.
Can we stop blaming not hitting children for atrocities like this? Love and understanding and gentle humor and common sense and fair rules and mental health assistance when needed are the things we need to employ with kids. Not aggression.